Chapter 6 – Heart To Heart

The moon light shone down through a hole in the canopy. The two women sat in a small clearing in the woods, surrounded by trees. Asami sat on the floor watching Korra building a fire in front of her, her knees up and her arms stretched around them, hugging them tightly. Korra placed the last of the sticks in the circle,

"Stand back, I'm gonna light it" Korra took a step back from the pile and stood arm extended towards it, fist clenched. She quickly flicked her forefinger and middle finger out towards it, a small ball of fire extended from her fingers, quickly flying towards the wood, the flames quickly rose as the fire hit the sticks. Asami squirmed further back, an almost horrified expression on her face, her mouth fell agape as she gasped deeply and her pupils swelled as she opened her eyes wide, her green eyes reflecting the orange flickering light of the fire, the unease painted within them. Korra sat down on the ground closer to the fire, a few feet away from Asami. Asami slowly edged closer to Korra eventually settling on her left side just slightly behind her, almost hiding. She grabbed Korra's arm with one hand, wrapping the other around it. She rested her head on Korra's arm, closing her eyes. Korra looked to her "she's so beautiful, so amazing," a goofy grin came to her face,

"You ok?"

"mmhmm" Asami said, letting out a small comforted sigh. She opened her eyes, looking at the fire, she took a deep breath and stared forward. "Korra?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something? It's kinda stupid but..." she trailed off.

"Anything" Korra said looking back to her, Asami tilted her head up slightly to meet Korra's gaze, still leaning on her arm.

"When did you first... you know... know, that you liked me?"

"Honestly, I don't know" Korra said worriedly, turning to Asami with an anxious look.

"Oh, ok"

"I... I think it might have been after Zaheer, I just don't think I realised it then, it seemed so strange to me, I'd never looked at another woman like that before. I... you, you were the only one really there for me after what happened." She paused looking down then to Asami's eyes, gazing up from leaning on her arm, an inquisitive yet loving look in them. "You helped me after everything that happened, you were the only one who didn't care that I couldn't be the Avatar, you actually cared about me getting better for myself, not just for everyone else's good. I... I.. I don't think I would've gotten through that without you." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I... I..." her breathing became more erratic as she began to cry, looking away, down to the floor. "I love you Asami... I love you so much" she wiped her eyes and looked back at the older woman who looked up at her lovingly, "y.. you know that right?" Asami sat up looking into Korra's eyes, placing her hand on her cheek as a tear fell from Korra's eye, she wiped it away with her thumb. She leaned in slowly until their lips met.

"I know, I love you too" she smiled.

"I'm sorry for not letting you come to the south pole with me, I wanted you there more than anything but I knew you'd be better off in Republic City. I.. I didn't want to be a burden. When I was there I missed you so much it ached, it felt like a piece of me was gone." she took a deep breath, "that's when I knew for sure, that's when I knew I loved you. I.. when you wrote to me and I couldn't reply, I felt awful, I felt wrong that I couldn't bring myself to do it for so long. I didn't know what to say and the more I left it the more I thought you'd be better off without me but I couldn't do it, I needed you, knowing you were here... waiting.. for me, that's what got me through." Asami looked into Korra's eyes,

"I'll always be here for you Korra, I love you" Korra smiled as Asami sunk back down leaning on her arm again, "it's nice to know when you started to realise how amazing I am" she said jokingly.

"Oh no that happened way before then" Asami looked up confused as Korra nervously rubbed the back of her neck, an anxious grin coming to her face, "why did I say that, I'm so stupid." Asami's eyes pleaded, go on; Korra acknowledged this, sighing she reluctantly continued, "I mean I always thought you were so amazing from the moment I met you. When I first saw you with Mako I was a little.." her voice quietened, "jealous"

"Wait, what was that?"

"I was..." Korra sighed as Asami looked on at her, "jealous, of you," Asami's eyes opened wide, her face mixed with equal measures of shock and confusion, "you were so perfect, you were... everything I wished I could be. You were effortlessly beautiful , you were smart, you were free to do what you wanted, you were elegant, rich, adored, confident and I was... not that." she looked down disheartened, "and you had Mako" she laughed.

"Oh, you mean you were jealous of me and my boyfriend, who you stole from me... twice" Asami teased, raising an eyebrow facetiously, they both laughed a little. "But I still don't understand, you were jealous? Of me? Why? You're the most amazing person I've ever met."

Korra let out a small fake laugh, "I'm serious" she put her finger under Korra's chin, lifting her head up to look in her eyes, "you're the most caring, sweet, selfless person in the world, you're amazing Korra. I remember the exact moment I knew how I felt about you, when you gave yourself up to Zaheer I was so worried, so scared that you wouldn't be ok." she looked at the floor, "I... it felt horrible. Then when he took you I couldn't describe how I felt... empty, broken. And when you fought him it felt awful seeing you like that, raw, emotional, not yourself, I felt so powerless watching you in so much pain and not being able to do anything to help you or to stop him and then... when you fell..." Her voice became higher as a tear dripped from Asami's face onto the floor and she looked up into Korra's eyes, "I.. I stood there" her voice started to shake as she sobbed, "watching you... d.. die, I... I couldn't do anything, why couldn't I do anything Korra!?" she wailed, "you were dying! And I... I..." her voice became almost akin to a shriek as her throat blocked the remainder of the words from escaping, Korra wrapped her arms around the older woman as she sobbed, pulling her head in closer to rest on her chest and gently stroking her hair.

"It's ok Asami, I'm ok" Asami's breathing started to become slower with Korra's embrace, a feeling of safety and care washed over her. "You saved me Asami, I would never have gotten through without you." Asami moved up and rested her head on Korra's shoulder, throwing her arms around her. She let out a small whimper, obviously trying to speak but no words would come. They stayed like that for what felt like eternity.

Asami pulled away cautiously and turned slowly around to face Korra, who quickly followed on.

"While you were gone... I was so scared. I was scared you wouldn't get better, I was scared that you'd give up, I was terrified that I'd never see you again. It felt like someone had ripped a piece out of me, like I wasn't whole without you, like I wasn't myself. It was three years Korra, you were gone for three years, three years of waking up every morning wishing that you'd come home and three years of going to bed every night missing you so much it would ache. It was three years of crying at the thought of not seeing you again. I didn't see you once for all that time and no amount of letters would ever change that." She looked over at Korra, an almost resentful expression on her face. ready to shout. As she looked over she saw Korra looking down, an obvious look of dejection encasing her. Asami's eyes were pulled open by her rising eyebrows and her mouth fell open wide as she looked on at korra equally shocked and disgusted at her own reaction, "I can't believe I said that. Why did I say that? It wasn't her fault. If she could've come back I know she would have, she's gone throught enough without me doing something like that making it worse. Spirits, what am I doing?" Asami scorned herself, "and it was three years for me to realise what I wanted" she grabbed Korra's hand, "who I wanted." Korra lifted her head up and Asami looked back a loving smile on her face, "that time made me realise how much I loved you, Korra, how desperately I needed you and how empty I felt without you." Korra looked on, now smiling. "When I saw you the first time when you came back it was the first time I'd felt... right, for three years. I remember waking up that day realising I didn't have to wish any more and I broke down crying, I was so happy for the first time in so long. When I saw you it felt like someone had lit my heart on fire and kicked me in the stomach. It was so hard to not run over to you, hug you and never let go and kiss you in front of everyone" Korra blushed and gave an embarrassed giggle, sweeping some hair behind her ear nervously.

"I had a similar thought, I just wanted to pin you to the floor and kiss you over and over again but I was so nervous that you'd hate me for being away so long and because I never dreamed that you would feel the same way. You came over looking so gorgeous, so amazing, I never thought I could miss seeing someone so much, I wish I could stay in that moment forever, you were so perfect. My mind went completely blank, all I could think to complement you was snazzy, I felt so stupid" she laughed shaking her head slightly, closing her eyes as she did, "who says snazzy?" Asami leaped forward, her hands pushing down Korra's shoulders onto the floor. She lay on top of her, her head on Korra's chest. She then propped herself up with her hands staring down affectionately into Korra's eyes, leaning down slowly until their lips met, she stayed there for a few seconds eventually pulling away for a second,

"I think you're snazzy too." She quickly leaned back down.