Author's Notes: Thank you all for your reviews/follows/faves! I meant to update this on Wednesday, but I'd been so consumed writing this "little" fic, When Lightning Strikes, that I totally forgot. Anyway, this is a fairly heavy chapter and I ask that any questions you do have, they will be answered, just not in this one. Please remember to leave a review, thanks :)

Hours of waiting for that phone call from the man at the hardware store had ended up with her getting touch with a man named Marco and after some negotiations, she ended up driving back to the cottage with Marco following in his truck, the replacement window safely strapped down in the bed of the truck.

"So, who is that lady, Mom?"

Emma swallowed thickly as she gripped on to the steering wheel. "I don't know where to start."

"The beginning is always a good place to start when you're telling a story."

"Okay," Emma said, nodding as she took a deep breath. "I just graduated high school and I let Ruby talk me into going to this party, but it wasn't—it wasn't the kind of parties I was used to going. The people there, they were older, in college and I knew nobody there but Ruby." Emma paused as she glanced over at Henry and he was staring at her, waiting for her to continue her story. "I met her, Regina, standing in line waiting to use the bathroom and we kind of just…hit it off right away."

"You mean as friends, right?"

"No, Henry, not as friends," Emma said quietly. "Regina and I were never friends, but we were close for a little while."

"If you weren't friends, how could you be—oh," Henry's voice pitched a few octaves as the realization hit him. "She was your girlfriend?"

"For a few months, yeah, and it was really intense and I loved her. She's the first person I ever fell in love with."

"What happened? Why didn't you stay together?"

Emma gripped at the steering wheel harder. She didn't think that far ahead. "Sometimes things happen," Emma said after a moment. "We were happy and in love, but it just…wasn't meant to be, I guess."

"You broke her heart, didn't you?" A statement, not an accusation or even a question.

"Not on purpose."

"Did you try to tell her that?"

"Yeah," Emma sighed sadly. "She wouldn't listen then and she won't listen now. Sometimes, kid, when a heart is broken, it stays broken. Doesn't matter how much time has passed, it's that pain that you feel so deep that keeps you from moving on. You won't get it now, but you will one day when you fall in love."

"And earlier when you tried to talk to her?" Henry asked and Emma nearly missed the turn into the driveway. "She didn't want to listen, did she?"

"No, she didn't."

She could already see the gears turning in her son's head and while she knew whatever he was trying to come up with was paved with good intentions, he didn't know Regina and he didn't understand how broken and betrayed Regina still obviously was over her. What had surprised her more was how well Henry had taken her confession of having been in love with another woman, but then again she'd raised her son to have an open mind and an open heart, so it shouldn't have surprised her as much as it did.

Emma pulled the car to a stop, looking in the review mirror are Marco as he pulled to a stop behind her. She looked over at Henry and smiled just as a few rays of sunshine poked out from the dark clouds that had started to break apart in the sky.

"I have an idea," Henry said as his hand lingered on the door handle.

"I know all about you and your ideas, kid…"

"Hear me out, Mom, please?" Henry asked and Emma nodded as she slipped the key out of the ignition. "What if you wrote her a letter, explaining everything? If she won't listen to you, don't you think she'll at least give a letter a chance?"

"I tried that already. Those letters I wrote and sent to her, kept getting sent back. After a while, I stopped trying."

"Why don't you try again?"

Emma didn't want to tell him about the box of returned and unsent letters she'd wrote to Regina over the years, but she had to smile at the fact he thought that a letter would help Regina understand.

"You always told me never to give up when I want something, Mom. Pretty sure there is a rule somewhere the says you gotta take your own advice too."

"When did you get so smart, kid?"

"Well, I'm your son," Henry chuckled. "Pretty sure I get that from you, Mom."

With that, Henry was out of the car and eager to help Marco unload some tools from the bed of the truck and offered to do whatever he could to help him replace the window upstairs. Henry's idea actually sparked one of her own and after unlocking the cottage and reminding Henry not to get into Marco's way too much, she went back to her car and called Ruby, praying that the two bars she had wouldn't die out on her.

"Hey, Rubes," Emma said when she answered the phone and didn't give Ruby a second to say a word. "I need a really big favour from you."

"Em, I already told you that I don't know when I can get a week off."

"It's not that, not really," Emma said in a rush. "Do you remember those letters I wrote to Regina?"

"What about them?"

"Is there any way you can get that box to me as soon as possible?"

"Em…what's going on?"

Emma sighed as she looked up at Marco on the roof, carefully removing parts of the old broken window from the outside while Henry watched on. She hadn't told Ruby that Regina was there, in Storybrooke and her texts she'd sent earlier had been her mostly begging Ruby to find a way to get her week off work to come and spend it in Storybrooke with her and Henry. She wanted to tell Ruby over the phone about Regina, not through texts. She took a deep breath as she leaned against the hood and sighed loudly.

"Emma, what's going on?"

"Regina is here."

"What?"

"She's here in Storybrooke, Rubes."

"What?!" Ruby's voice nearly deafened her and she held her phone away from her ear slightly, her ears ringing and her heart thumping wildly in her chest. "What do you mean Regina is in Storybrooke? Emma? Did you see her? Did you talk to her?"

"She won't listen to me and she actually paid me a little visit this morning pretty much telling me to get out of her town."

"Her town?"

Emma chuckled dryly as she switched her phone to her other ear. "Yeah, she's like that Mayor of Storybrooke now."

"Impressive."

"That's what I said," Emma said and she sighed as she stared down at her shoes, her black Converse covered in dirt. "So, the box of all those letters I wrote, Ruby? Do you think you can get them to me as soon as possible?"

"Why? What kind of a plan are you trying hatch, Em?"

"One that'll hopefully get Regina to finally listen to me so I can explain myself. Maybe if she just knew, if she just understood what really happened, maybe she won't be so angry with me? Maybe she won't hate me near as much? I don't even know, Rubes. It feels like it's gonna take a miracle just to get her to listen to anything I have to say."

"A huge one."

"You're telling me."

"Okay," Ruby said after a moment of silence between the two of them. "I'll see what I can do about getting that box of letters to you, Em."

"Thank you."

They talked for a little longer before Emma ended the call and checked on Henry and Marco in the room upstairs. Everything was going fine, as Marco had told her and that Henry was a great helper to have. She thought it was sweet how Henry was so eager to please the man, just by doing some simple things like getting him a tool from the toolbox or helping hold the window into the frame while he screwed it in and levelled it out, all the while teaching Henry how to properly install a window.

Emma left them after watching for a little while and she went back to thinking about the box of letters, already knowing there was a pretty big chance that Regina would either throw them out or burn them without ever reading them, but she had to take that chance. If she didn't, she had no other way of getting through to her and even though it'd been such a long time since it all had happened, she had never stopped loving Regina Mills and she and never stopped feeling so utterly guilty for hurting her. All she wanted was closure, because without it, she'd never be able to mend her broken heart.

And she knew somehow, she had to help Regina mend her own broken heart no matter what it took. She couldn't leave Storybrooke at the end of August without having the peace of mind that the woman wasn't still as broken as she'd been all this time.

They'd been fighting all afternoon, fighting over the stupidest little things too, things that wouldn't matter in a few hours, but in the heat the moment, Emma had stormed out of Regina's apartment, unable to continue arguing with her. She didn't want to say something she'd regret later even though she was sure they both already had.

Emma walked down the busy street after she'd gotten off the subway, anger still bubbling through her as she thought of the stupid things they'd been fighting over. Regina hadn't told her anything about her family, about her past, and it started out with Emma accusing her of keeping important things from her, to Regina telling her there was a reason she didn't tell her parents, especially her mother, about their relationship.

"You don't know what she's like! If she knows about you, about us, she'll stop at nothing to drive us apart from each other and ruin you in the process. I can't help it that my mother is completely insufferable, Emma!"

Emma shoved her hands into the front pockets of her jeans as she turned the corner and headed home. She didn't know why it bothered her so much that Regina was essentially keeping their relationship a secret from her family, but it did. She didn't want to feel like she was some dirty little secret, as she had so eloquently said to Regina and that had started off the fight. One thing had turned into another and Emma knew she should've left far earlier than she had.

"Em?" Ruby called out from behind her and she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling fresh tears burning in her eyes. "Em, what are you doing here? I thought you were spending the night at Regina's place?"

"We had a fight," Emma said quietly as Ruby moved to stand in front of her. Her lower lip was trembling as Ruby wrapped her arms tightly around her when the tears started to fall again. "It's all my fault."

"I'm sure it's not," Ruby soothed as she moved them towards the building and away from the bustling crowd of people narrowly avoiding the two of them. "What were you fighting about, Em?"

"Stupid things, Ruby. It's all so stupid! I just left. I couldn't stay. I didn't want to say anything I'm going to end up regretting later. Oh god, what if she hates me?"

"Em?" Ruby said gently as she cupped Emma's face in her hands and used her thumbs to wipe at the tears that continued to fall. "It's just a fight. Couples fight all the time. It's normal, okay? Give it some time for both of you to cool down and call her tomorrow. I'm sure by tomorrow you both are gonna forget what you were fighting about and everything will go back to the way it's been all summer."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so," Ruby smiled and she kissed Emma on the forehead before moving her hands to her shoulders. "Now, I have a plan. One that'll cheer you up. Maybe?"

"What kind of a plan, Ruby?"

"A party. Jefferson invited me to one and told me to bring some friends. It could be just what you need to perk up your spirits, Em. I hate seeing you so upset."

"I don't know…"

"You've been spending all your time with Regina all summer, Emma. I feel like I never see you anymore," Ruby said with a frown. "Just come with me, have a couple of drinks, dance and have a little bit of fun with me tonight?"

Emma sighed and nodded her head. Maybe a party would pick her spirits up a little bit and maybe a party and a few strong drinks would help her forget the pangs she was feeling in her heart for a few hours. Maybe a party was just what she needed right now to forget the stupid fight she and Regina had…

"What time are we leaving?"

Ruby laughed as she slipped an arm over Emma's shoulders and headed towards their building just down the street. "We'll leave in an hour."

"What about—"

"You leave Granny to me," Ruby grinned and Emma rolled her eyes playfully. Granny was never and would never be a fan of the two of them going to a party where there was copious amounts of alcohol and drugs and older guys—especially when it came to Ruby and Jefferson, or any other older guys that were in college.

Two hours later, Emma was following Ruby down an unfamiliar street. The subway ride had been longer than she thought it'd be and when they got off, they were in a part of the city Emma had never been before. Unlike the last party she went to with Ruby, Ruby was dressed casually in a pair of tiny red shorts and a white tank top and her makeup was rather subtle, even for her. Emma wore what she'd been wearing all day, a pair of cut off jean shorts and a blue tank top and her black Converse that were tightly laced to her feet. They looked every bit like they were still in high school and so out of place in the upscale neighbourhood they were walking through.

"I though you said we were going to Jefferson's?" Emma asked as Ruby came to a stop in front of a duplex. "Doesn't he live a few blocks from here?"

"That's his loft," Ruby replied. "This is his house. This party isn't like the last one, it's going to be much more intimate."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, it's going to be fun."

Emma nodded and followed Ruby up the stone steps and she followed her inside and up to the third floor. Sure enough, unlike the party at the loft three months ago, there were less than thirty people inside the small but spacious apartment on the third floor. The curtains were drawn shut, making the apartment dark aside from the candles that were lit despite the fact the sun was still rather high in the sky. Intimate was definitely the right word to describe the feeling Emma felt the instant they walked in.

Just like at the last party, she felt completely out of her element. The only people she knew was Ruby and Jefferson, the rest were a blur of strange faces of people she'd never seen or met before and if they'd been at the last party, she didn't recognize any of them.

At least this time, Ruby didn't leave her side immediately after they got there and Emma found herself wedged on a small couch that smelled a little musty and like pot, Ruby on one side and a guy named Neal on the other. Emma had been actively engaged in a conversation with Neal, finding him far easier to talk to than most of the other people that were there. He seemed different, too, a bit out of place with the people at Jefferson's and she soon learned that he was a very old friend of Jefferson's and he'd just moved to the city.

While she was engaged in a conversation with Neal, her mind was solely on Regina, but it wasn't the happy thoughts she was thinking of, it was the anger and confusion she still felt that lingered from their fight earlier. Neal was an observant guy and he asked her a few questions about what was bothering her. It took her finishing her first drink before he fetched them both a second before she felt at ease enough to tell him about Regina and the stupid fight they'd had that afternoon.

Emma felt fuzzy and it wasn't that the drink was strong, she did ask Neal to go lightly on the rum he'd mixed in with the Coke and he had. But something didn't feel right.

Flickering lights and blurry lines, that's what caught Emma's attention suddenly and she found herself in a fit of laughter with Neal, not noticing for a while that Ruby was no longer beside her.

Echoing voices drummed in her head, far louder than the music that had been playing. It made her head spin and she continued laughing, grabbing on to Neal's arm as her body jerked and her drink spilled over herself and on Neal. More laughter. More flickering lights and blurry lines, the echo becoming deafening as the room started spinning.

Flashes. That's all she was getting, all she was seeing and feeling.

Flashes of Neal's face, flashes of others as she danced in the middle of the living room.

Flashes of the red solo cup that always seemed to be full no matter how many sips she'd taken.

Flashes of the musty, pot smelling couch.

Flashes of a bathroom and a giggling Ruby as she was pulled out and back to the party.

Flashes of a rooftop and then a pillow, a white pillow that smelled…not too fresh.

Emma groaned loudly as she buried her face into the pillow and the sound of pigeons cooing outside was what made her lift her head. She turned to look at the clock that was on the bedside table, but instead she was facing a wall. Confusion bubbled up inside of her as she pushed herself up a little from the bed and realized, in a rush of panic, that she was not in her own bed and naked. Very naked. And very much not alone in the strange bed as she felt whoever was next to her shift and groan deeply.

"Oh god," Emma's eyes flew open wide as her head pounded painfully. "Oh my god."

"Huh?"

Emma buried her face into the pillow again, squeezing her eyes tight as the tears started to fall. What had happened last night? She couldn't even remember too much, just bursts of flashes and so much time in between them just empty. Blank. She shifted on the bed, the sheets smooth against her damp skin and she felt that burn between her legs, one that told her exactly what had happened and she didn't remember a single second of any of it.

"Oh my god," Emma moaned into the tear soaked pillow. "What did I do? What did I do? Regina…oh god, I'm so sorry."

"Emma?"

Neal?

"Emma, what—?"

"Don't touch me!" Emma yelled as soon as Neal placed a hand on her bare back. She shoved him hard away from her, her eyes burning with tears as he scrambled to get out of the bed. "What did you do? What the hell did you do to me?"

"I-I didn't do anything to you," Neal tried, but Emma was furious and hurt and scared.

Emma clenched the sheets to her bare body, squeezing her eyes shut as the tears kept on coming and she didn't open them again until she was sure that Neal was no longer in the bedroom with her. She wiped at her eyes, but the tears didn't stop as she tried to find her clothes. It was a struggle to get dressed, her limbs felt so heavy and her head was spinning. Her heart hurt so much because she knew what had happened, she knew that she'd cheated on Regina and she never meant to!

What the hell was she going to tell Regina?!

Her mind was so fuzzy, so foggy. Every inch of her body felt heavier than normal. It almost felt like she was stuck in a nightmare, but she knew she was wide awake. She clutched at her chest, trying to still her racing heart, but she couldn't calm herself down. She couldn't stop the tears that kept on coming, and she could stop the flood of mixed emotions that weighed her down and made her feel nauseous.

What happened? What did she do?

Her stomach lurched and she clamped a hand over her mouth to keep herself from being sick all over the bedroom floor. Every step she took was uneasy and she braced her hands on the closed bedroom door and shut her eyes tight, the tears falling freely as her mussed hair fell around her face. She had to get out of there. She had to go home. She wanted to shower a thousand times to scrub the dirty, used feeling she could feel all over her body. She wanted to erase what little memory she had of the night before and that morning. She wanted to forget. She wanted it to have never happened. She wanted to go back and choose not to follow Ruby to another one of Jefferson's parties.

It was too late for any of that now.

Emma slipped out of the bedroom and out into the dark living room where dozens of others were sleeping on the couches and the floor. She spotted Ruby and nudged at her with her foot and the instant Ruby saw the tears streaming down her cheeks, she was on her feet and her arms were around Emma tightly.

"Em? What's wrong? What happened?"

"I want to go home."

"Emma?"

"Ruby, I want to go home. Now. Please…"

Neither said a word as they left the apartment and made their way down the street to the nearest subway station. It wasn't until they were halfway home, that Emma broke down again completely, sobbing in Ruby's arms as strangers stared at them in confusion, some with a look of pity, others with a roll of their eyes since Emma knew they both reeked like booze and pot.

"Emma?" Ruby asked gently once they'd snuck inside the apartment without waking Granny up since it was still really early in the morning. "Emma, talk to me, please. What's wrong? What happened last night?"

"I can't remember."

"Can't remember what?"

"Anything, Rubes! I can't remember anything after that second drink!"

"Emma—"

"I woke up in a bed. With Neal."

"What?"

"Naked."

Ruby's eyes went wide as she sat on Emma's bed next to her. "Did you—?"

Emma's lips trembled as her whole body shook and Ruby held her tight, a few tears of her own slipping out as they rocked on the bed together. Emma suddenly felt sick. How did something like that even happen? Was she drugged? Did Neal do this to her or did someone else do it? So many blank memories plagued her mind, but the only thing she could think of now was what was she going to tell Regina?

Emma wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep, but this time she woke up in her own bed much later that morning, alone. In the bed next to hers, Ruby was yelling on the phone, her skin flushed red in anger as she wouldn't stop yelling at the person on the other end.

"What the fuck, Jefferson? No, you listen to me. Emma was drugged last night. Fucking drugged at your goddamn party and you don't care? Fuck you! My best friend was raped last night and all you have to say is 'what do you want me to do about it?' Jefferson, this happened at your party and if the cops ever found out you'd be—hello? Oh hell no you did not just hang up on me!"

"Ruby…"

"Em, it's okay, I'm gonna find out who did this to you and then I'm going to kill them."

"Ruby…" Emma sighed as she sat up slowly and ran her fingers through her hair. "What am I going to tell Regina?"

Ruby shook her head as she dropped the cordless phone on her bed and sat down next to Emma on hers. "You want to tell her?"

"I have to. I can't not."

"Emma, she's going to hate you for this. She'll probably even blame me for bringing you to that party in the first place! You don't even remember what happened!"

"That doesn't mean I don't have to tell her, Ruby. I cheated on her. Oh god," Emma cried as sobs wracked through her body. "I cheated on her, Ruby. Why did I do that?"

"Emma, it wasn't your fault. Okay? It wasn't your fault…"

Emma became reclusive for the next couple of days, locking herself in her room, only coming out to shower and eat before she crawled back into bed and ignored the countless phone calls from Regina. By the third day, her guilt was literally eating her alive and she knew she couldn't avoid Regina any longer. She had to go and see her, she had to tell her what had happened at the party, even though she barely remembered any of it.

Maybe she'd understand? Maybe she wouldn't hold it against her because she knew, deep in her gut, that she'd been drugged that night. That what happened wasn't her fault, that she didn't even know what she was doing not to mention the fact that she hadn't been in complete control of herself. Maybe Regina would understand…

Or maybe everything would fall apart completely and she'd lose Regina for good. No matter what happened, she couldn't keep this from her. It was killing her inside keeping this from her and avoiding her because she was so afraid to tell Regina what happened.

It took her a while to muster up just enough courage to call Regina early that afternoon, asking her if she could come over and see her. A lump formed in her throat when she heard how happy Regina sounded to hear her voice and told her she'd be home and waiting for her.

Her brain was still feeling foggy, even three days later, and whatever had been involuntarily dumped into her body, the effects still lingered and everything, even her own body felt foreign to her. Every step she took that brought her closer and closer to Regina's door felt heavy and disoriented. The door opened before she even raised a hand to knock and the tears sprung to her eyes as soon as she saw Regina's smiling face.

"Emma?" Regina asked quietly as Emma just stood there with her hands shoved in the back pockets of her jeans. "Emma, what's wrong, darling?"

"I—"

"Come inside," Regina said as her smile faded from her lips. She reached out for Emma and urged her to come inside. She shut the door heavily behind her and wrapped her arms around Emma, kissing over her cheek and lips as Emma made no move to hug her or kiss her back. "Emma, what's wrong?"

"Something happened."

"What?" Regina looked at her, concerned as she checked her over, holding on to her arms as she did. "What happened, love? Are you all right?"

"No."

"Emma, sweetheart, talk to me, please? You're scaring me. What happened?"

"It was a mistake," Emma whispered, her eyes filling with tears instantly. "Oh god, Regina, I'm so sorry. It was a mistake. I didn't—I don't know how it happened."

Regina took a step back from her and raised an eyebrow. Emma shook as she tried to fight her tears, but the look that Regina was giving her scared her. It scared her a lot. She hadn't exactly told Regina what happened, but as she stepped towards her, reaching out for her, Regina shook her head and swatted her hands away, a look of disgust taking place of the worried look that had been there just moments before.

"What happened?" Regina asked slowly. "And don't lie to me, Emma. What happened? What was a mistake?"

"I was at a party the other night, it was right after our fight and—"

"And what?"

Emma's heart was squeezing in her chest. It was just too much. Everything was just too much to handle right now and no matter what she said, everything was going so wrong right in that moment that she could already feel her heart and Regina's breaking, shattering into hundreds of thousands of irreparable pieces.

"What did you do, Emma?"

"Regina, please…it wasn't my fault."

"Tell me what you did, Emma," Regina said through clenched teeth, her voice rising, her tone dangerous. She took a step towards her and Emma backed up towards the door, shaking no longer just because she was upset, but because the fire burning in Regina's eyes was scaring her. "Did you kiss someone else? Fuck someone else at this party?"

"Please…it was a mistake…I didn't know—"

"Didn't know that you willingly spread your legs for someone else?" Regina spat, her voice full of venom and that was all it took for Emma to feel the world, her whole world, crumbling beneath her. "Get. Out."

"Regina, it wasn't like that. I need a minute to explain. I—"

"Explain what? Who was she?"

"I didn't know him before this party and I swear I was only on my second drink when—"

"Get out," Regina said through clenched teeth as she pushed Emma towards the door. "Get out of my apartment, out of my life, and stay out, Emma Swan. I want nothing to do with you ever again. Do you understand me?"

"Regina, please…"

"Get out!" Regina yelled, slamming a palm against the door she'd backed Emma up against, just a few inches shy of her head. "Words cannot express how much I hate you for what you've done to me, how you betrayed me, how you so willingly opened up your legs like a common, filthy whore, and to a man, nonetheless. Get. Out."

"That's not the way it happened!" Emma yelled, but Regina couldn't see past her own anger, her own tears that filled her dark brown eyes as she shoved Emma out of the way and yanked open the door. "Please, Regina, I didn't mean to do this!"

Regina's lips curled into a snarl as she gripped on to the door. Emma reached out for her and they fought, Emma to grab a hold of her, Regina to keep her from touching her. Emma gave up, wiping at her eyes with the backs of her hands as she stumbled out into the hallway.

"I love you," she trembled as she struggled to take a deep breath. "Please, Regina, I love you. Just let me explain—it's not what you think it is. Please—?"

"Give me my keys," Regina said firmly as she thrust out a hand while the other held tightly onto the edge of the door. "Now."

Emma blinked through her tears as she pulled out the keys on its own little keying, the keys to Regina's apartment and she shakily dropped them into Regina's outstretched hand. "I'm so sorry," Emma whispered.

Regina eyed her sharply before slamming the door loudly in her face. Emma stepped forward, gasping as she struggled to breathe and she placed the palms of her hands on the smooth wooden door.

"I'm so sorry, Regina. I love you. Please, I just want you to listen to me. I know I hurt you and I never—I never wanted to hurt you in any way. Please just listen to me…"

Emma wasn't sure how long she stood outside her door until two security guards came to drag her away. She didn't care that they dumped her out onto the street, pushing her hard enough to make her stumble forward and land on her hands and her knees. She didn't care that people stared at her strangely as they passed her in the street and she didn't even care that nobody offered to help her to get up from the dirty sidewalk.

She didn't care because she'd lost the one thing that mattered more than anything in the world to her.

She'd lost the woman who her heart belonged to and all because of a stupid mistake.