Okay my muse is a playful little thing and decided she was in one-shot mood instead of chapter things. But I learned my lesson, always keep muse happy and do what she asks for, so here it is.

I don't own the good wife. Or the Song Sorry for Love

304: But I Am Not Sorry for Love

Forgive me for the things
That I never said to you
Forgive me for not knowing
The right words to say, to prove
That I will always be
Devoted to you and me
And if you can't feel that in my love
Then Im sorry for not giving you enough

But Im not sorry for my love
Im not sorry for my touch
The way it made your hands
Tremble and my heart rush

I would do it all again
Wouldnt take back a thing, no
Cause with you Ive lived
A thousand lives in one
And I could never be
I could never be
Sorry for love

She heard the knock on the door and shouted for Grace to go open, thinking it might be Neesa or her tutor coming over - though it was a bit too close to dinner time for that. She had started to dry her hands off, thinking it might be Diane coming over again. In the past it might also have been Kalinda about a case, and in the principle it still could. Or maybe Owen? No, she would have heard his voice and seen him by now if it was him. A shot of panic ran through her at the thought of it being her mother instead. But that couldn't be for all she knew her mother was on some world cruise, something she had spent the last year doing, calling once every other month.

"Mom it is for you..." Grace voice sounded. And Alicia sighed. She had almost figured out by now it would be that, she ran a hand through her hair and dried her hands once more, walking out of the kitchen and to the hallway. Her daughter was still standing at the door, and as she got closer Grace turned to her with suspicious eyes. Alicia sighed, this probably meant it was work related, and that was when she paled a little. Will was standing on the other side of the door. Will. Here, while her kids were at home. Even the words had her stomach clench in fear, and even more seeing as her daughter was the one that had opened the door. Her daughter whose eyes were squinting at her, making her feel like sinking into a mouse hole.

"Grace, will you please go and keep an eye on the sauce. And the water. If I am not back in two minutes, put the pasta in the water, please," Alicia asked Grace, who nodded slowly and glanced from Will to her, before moving away and toward the kitchen. Alicia moved closer to the door, her heart throbbing loudly in her chest, while thoughts passed through her mind fast. Why was he there? Why had he come here now? Was it work or something else? She gave him a hesitatingly smile, one he returned. She stepped out of the door, their bodies almost brushing and she felt a sudden rush of desire for him, to hug him, to kiss him. Those things that hadn't been an option earlier in the office when they talked. Those things she had admitted she honestly missed these last days while he had been gone. Actually she more than missed them, she longed for them, was starving for them. She hadn't lied when she said she sort of missed him too. She really had missed him. She closed the door behind her making sure there wouldn't be any innocent ears trying to listen in on what was said. After all, she knew both her kids had a curious side, though Grace more than Zach.

She turned to face him, resting herself against the wall. In other cases she would have allowed someone like Diane into the apartment, the dining room, but she didn't know what Will would talk to her about and it made it dangerous. And taking him to her bedroom where she could close the door would be even more dangerous, as with the days apart she was pretty sure they couldn't keep their hands to themselves especially with a bed close at hand.

"Is it work?" she asked hesitatingly, considering if he was offended she didn't invite him in. But when she saw how he shook his head, she knew she had done the right thing.

"No... it's just... I know you have the kids here tonight... I know I shouldn't have come... I just... I needed to see you... talk with you about something..." He seemed nervous and unsure, and she reached out her hand catching his and squeezing it, hoping to calm him a little. He held her hand in his and squeezed back, but not letting it go after.

"What is wrong Will? You are worrying me..." She admitted, while more than one scenario of what he might tell her right now ran through her head. Especially a few unpleasant ones regarding Celeste, who she fully well knew was the one he had spent the last few days with. But she pushed them away. Will didn't want Celeste, and she hadn't been worried the weekend they spent in the hotel and she saw their interaction, why should she start now?

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair clearly frustrated with something, and then he stared at her for a second before he let go of her hand and cupped her face between both of his. He kissed her hard, and passionately, making her moan. She had already started to wonder about the likelihood of getting away with sex out here in the hallway when he broke it off. She opened her eyes again, eyes that had fluttered shut the moment he kissed her. She stared into his through her heavy dark lashes. His eyes were tender and frustrated all at the same time. Something she hadn't know was possible until now.

"I love you," he whispered the next second, making her gasp confused and shocked. She thought they had settled on not talking about it. Settled on not talking about whatever this was, not talking about what he had said by accident. Settled on this being no fuss no muss. Not talking about him not wanting anyone else. And yet here he was, repeating those words she was not prepared to hear, not prepared to face. Or at least not prepared to face the meaning and consequences of. And she had just as little idea what to say or do now as she had yesterday when he had first spoken them. Except back then, she had been able to convince herself it really was automatically and didn't have the meaning. The way he had said it now left her in no doubt that he meant them, there was no accident here.

"Will..." She whispered softly knowing she had to say something, anything really. But Will was already drawing back, he looked sad and hurt. And she reached out touching his arm. Hating how he was hurting right there.

"It's okay Alicia... I just... it wasn't an accident yesterday... well it was but it was one I meant. Alicia I am in love with you... I hate the no fuss no muss rule. I can't do it... I missed you so much these last few days. I got an offer from Celeste I would probably have considered taking a few years ago and probably would have accepted. But I couldn't even focus on it because..." He shook his head but she knew what he was about to say, and she was already hurting him, so she wouldn't force him to say it.

"Because of me..." She whispered softly and he nodded slowly.

"Yeahhh... Alicia I know you don't want more... I know you have kids... and a complicated life... I know you have to go into dinner in a few minutes and I know you don't feel like that about me... but I can't not say it any more. Every moment I spend with you makes me want to tell you it more. And I can't risk another chance passing through my hands, there have already been too many missed opportunities and I don't want another," he told her with a sigh and she nodded slowly. Her stomach was clenching more with each word he said.

"I will go now... give you time to think... I know you will need it..." He sighed slowly, though his eyes told another story. One of a man that had hoped the woman he had just bared his heart to returned all his feelings, and it shocked her and made her stumble back a little. Even more when she realized how little she really wanted him to leave. She wished he would stay and she knew her words could make him. But she wasn't sure if she could go there. Not yet at least. She didn't get to answer or finish the thought though, as the door of her apartment was pulled open. Grace was standing there, actually both of her kids. Alicia blinked for a few seconds, trying to come up with something to say, but Will was faster than her.

"I am sorry for stealing your mother away... just needed to ask her about something on a case. I was just about to leave..." He answered both the kids' questioning looks, and Alicia felt like her heart was screaming at her to do something, anything really.

"You are not staying for dinner?" Grace asked a bit cautiously, her eyes flickering between the two adults.

"We already put an extra plate on the table," Zach hurried to add. Alicia stared in shock at both her kids, as she tried to make sense of what they were offering her. They both gave her hesitatingly smiles.

"We figured you might have invited him over for dinner..." Zach answered, though she could read on his face he knew it wasn't the case, but he was trying to help her and apparently so was her daughter.

"No... I was here for work and I am about to leave... like I said I am sorry," Will told them and started to leave.

"No... they are right... please stay... for dinner..." Alicia finally managed to find her voice and say at least part of what her heart was screaming at her to say. She took in how his eyes flickered between her and her kids. Eyes that suddenly looked a little less sad. He finally met hers and she knew he was trying to read if she was serious or not. So she gave him a soft smile. She couldn't give him all she knew he wanted yet, but maybe, just maybe, she could give him a bit more than she had thought, and the rest would follow with time. She held her hand out for him to take. She had apparently had smarter kids than she would have thought as none of them seemed shocked over the gesture and instead just stepped back into the apartment while Grace asked if she wanted her to grab the food.

She squeezed Will's hand a little tighter, as she dragged him with her into her life. The part of it she had tried to keep him out of. She looked up at him hoping her eyes told him what she couldn't yet. Hoping he understood that, though speaking about love was too soon for her, she didn't really want anyone else either and she wanted him close. His tender smile and as he reached up and touched her cheek gently told her he had understood every word and it was enough for now, that making their crazy world fit would have to be taken like a marathon, not a race.

Please let me know your thoughts ;-)