Back With You
He was back. He was back and in a way it was like he had never left. He had done this before, returned to work after a few weeks or months of absence. This time he had not been abroad though, he had not been working. He had just taken some time off, working through his issues. And now he was back.
Having spent countless hours with his therapist and it had actually proved to be successful. He had spent a lot of time with his mother, since she was the only one who could possibly understand the loss of his sister and the brutal way it had happened. It had been helpful, being around someone who knew and understood him in a way that still surprised him. Whatever he thought of her resent choices in life, she was still the same woman who had served in the navy and raised him and his sister as a single mother when his father died. His mother was in a way his hero, and he had learned that she gave him great strength.
Nathan had also been around. It had taken him a few weeks, but he had finally been able to reconcile with his brother-in-law. It was actually really great to have his brother back. Before it all happened, they had grown sort of close and even though a lot of years had passed they were still family.
He had kept his distance from his friends at SGMH. He had said and done some pretty awful things before he decided to leave, and it had taken him this time to be able to face everyone. April had given him a hug when she saw him, and he was grateful that she always had his back. She was a good friend and he had no doubt that she had kept the ER in complete order during his absence. Callie had hunted him down the minute she heard he was back, and they had shared a few drinks together, catching up. It had been just what he needed, for someone to act as if nothing had happened which was exactly what she had done as they sat in the bar for hours and she updated him on everything in her life.
Meredith and he had had a long talk. She seemed to be doing well, and glad to have him back. He had kept himself updated on her recovery from the attack, but other than that they had not interacted during the time he had been away. Meredith Grey was an amazing woman, for being able to understand and forgive him after what he had done. She had also given him a hug and told him that he was her friend no matter what.
The only one Owen had not really talked to since he came back though, was Amelia. When she saw him in the ER the day before she had simply said that it was good to see him and have him back at work. He had been a little caught off guard, but she had just patted his shoulder and given him a smile as they both resumed their work.
They had parted quite badly before he left. He had pushed her away and treated her really bad. She did not seem mad though, even if all he had left her with was a text saying that he needed time to work through his problems and that he was sorry. Every time they bumped into each other, in the attendings' lounge or by the nurse's station or in the ER, she flashed him that smile.
What he did not know though, was that during the past months Amelia had also spent time healing. She had reconciled with Meredith, she was living at the house again and for the first time in a long time the women saw each other as real family. Amelia had been to countless meetings, she had taken some vacation days and spent time with her friends in LA and found the support and love she needed in order to really embrace herself and the life she wanted. She had found that the SGMH family was indeed her family as well, and she felt like she belonged in Seattle with Meredith and the kids. She had been spiralling after he left, but climbed up and now felt stronger than she had in a long time, possibly ever. She had grown to genuinely feel good about herself.
Owen stood with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the hardness of one of the walls by the cafeteria. He had found her here, during the busy lunch hour.
Amelia looked good. She always looked good, even after hours of surgery or at four in the morning. His intention when looking for her had been to walk up to her and talk, but seeing as she had not been alone Owen had been left standing at a safe distance. She was wearing the typical dark blue scrubs, her lab coat over it. There was nothing special about her clothing, he had seen her in it a million times before. Her hair was down, the natural waves having grown a few inches longer reaching just below her shoulders.
She was sharing a table with Arizona and April, and they were chatting away happily. It tugged on Owen's lips seeing her like that, having a good time. He allowed himself to just watch her for a few minutes, the way she was talking with her hands and probably sharing one of her jokes or a funny story seeing as both Arizona and April were laughing. He sniggered to himself, being reminded of Amelia's funny side, finding himself wanting to know what they were talking about.
Having no idea how long he has been standing there, watching like a stalking idiot, Owen suddenly glanced around wondering if someone has noticed him being a creep. No one seemed to mind him though as they were in the midst of a crowded lunch hour, and to his relief Amelia seemed oblivious as she kept talking in between bites of her salad.
He could not possibly have heard the sound of two pagers going off, though he saw both Arizona and April reach into their pockets. As they started to gather their things, Amelia remained in her seat giving the two women a wave goodbye. Arizona gave the brunette a squeeze of her shoulder, saying something Owen could not hear but was intrigued about since it made Amelia give a beaming smile. The two surgeons rushed to the exit, fortunately on the opposite side of the room from where Owen stood, and left Amelia alone by the table. She resumed her reading of what probably was some medical journal spread out in front of her, munching on the rest of her lunch.
Momentarily hesitating Owen put his hands in the pockets of his lab coat. Seeing as Amelia would probably finish her lunch and leave in a few minutes though, he decided to walk up to her. He cleared his throat while nearing her table, giving her a chance to notice his presence. Wide cerulean eyes looked up from the journal, meeting his ice blue ones. She gave him a smile and motioned with her hand to one of the empty chairs.
He sat down in the seat previously occupied by April, placing his hands on his thighs and wondering why he was nervous. Well, it was not all that surprising seeing as they had not really talked for months and he had probably built up this fear of what it would be like. Amelia seemed relaxed around him though as she popped a piece of tomato into her mouth, moving an opened bag of carrots closer to him on the table. "Have some," she said before starting to chew.
Taking a carrot, Owen felt his shoulders relax. "What'cha reading?" he simply offered, finding himself genuinely interested.
She took a sip of her water and turned the journal over, showing him the article she had been reading. "Have you seen this?" The pictures of the spread were neuro scans and he quickly spotted the name highlighted. It was Amelia's publish from a surgery. A broad smile covered his face as he looked up from the spread.
"This is amazing, Amelia." Owen skimmed through the text and continued to smile. "You're amazing."
"I know," Amelia happily said causing him to chuckle. The blue in her eyes seem to grow even bluer as her eyes sparkled, and he could tell that she was quite proud. Well, she should be. He was proud, because she was one hell of a neurosurgeon deserving all the praise. Owen had met his fair share of brilliant doctors and surgeons, but never one quite as enthusiastic about brain tumours as Amelia Shepherd.
The beaming smile on his face stayed as he met her eyes, silently communicating his admiration. A smile formed on her face and he could see a hint of a blush on her cheeks. As if on cue, Amelia's pager went off breaking their eye lock. "Duty calls," she said while holding up her phone.
Owen nodded as she started to clean up, quite amused by the sudden flush of her face. "Hey, can I hold on to this for a while? I'd like to read the whole article."
"Yeah, of course. Enjoy," she said with a hint of a laugh, seeming to appreciate his interest though. Grinning back up at her Owen savoured the warm and fuzzy feeling inside his chest. It felt great to be able to talk to and be around her again.
"Hey, Amelia," Owen quickly said before she left and before he lost the courage. She stood in front of him, her hand tucking some strands of chestnut hair behind her ear. Her hair was almost too thick to stay there though and she had to do it twice. "What are you doing later?" Maybe he was supposed to be content with this small interaction, but he could not help but push for more.
"Oh, I'm picking up the kids and I promised them we'd go out and eat and have ice cream." Blue eyes lit up as she spoke about the kids, a few crinkles erupting in the corners of her eyes.
Owen cleared his throat in an attempt to keep his cool exterior. He was disappointed of course, hoping that she would have perhaps been free so he could ask if- he didn't really know. Ask her out to dinner? No, this was probably better. He would have to be grateful for this moment. "Oh, okay. Sounds like fun."
Amelia lingered in her position in front of him, placing her hands in the pockets of her lab coat. "You should come. If you want." Her suggestion had him a bit off guard, but he forced himself to keep his cool while inside he was soaring. This was more than he deserved and certainly more than what he had expected.
"Yeah?" Kind eyes met her soft ones, both having a hint of hope in them.
"I could probably use some help. Three kids is a lot," she chuckled, pursing her lips in a way that made him focus on them for a bit too long. "The kids would love it as well." As well. Did that mean that she would love it? Heck, who cared? He would love it. "Owen?" He realized he had zoned off and quickly forced himself to return to the present.
"I'd love to."
"Great," she grinned and then hurried away. His eyes stayed on her until she disappeared through out of sight. That woman was incredible.
A few hours later they had enjoyed a quick – in order to make it to the ice cream place faster – meal and were all sitting happily enjoying their dessert. Amelia sat at one side of the table with Zola next to her on the seat. Ellis was in her stroller next to Amelia who was taking turns entertaining the baby with a fabric book and eating her ice cream.
Owen was in the opposite seat by the table, having his hands full making sure Bailey kept eating over the table and not dropping the dripping ice cream in his lap. The boy had insisted on having a big boy ice cream, in a cone.
"Owen," Zola said while carefully eating her strawberry and vanilla ice cream. Her dark eyes quickly met the adult's before returning to inspect the ice cream, her hands swirling it around and around to make sure that she would be able to spot the slightest sign of melting. The girl licked around the sweetness in her hands and when having made sure that the ice cream was safe from melting for a few seconds she looked up again, finding she had Owen's attention. "I like having you back. This is nice."
Owen chuckled, nervously glancing over at Amelia who had an amused smile plastered on her face. She took a scoop of vanilla ice cream into her mouth, staying silent and seeming intrigued to watch the interaction between her niece and himself. Leave it to the six-year-old to be refreshingly honest and always speak her mind. It was a quality Amelia sometimes found a bit annoying even though she loved the girl to death. Right now though, Amelia simply smiled proudly at the girl. "Thank you, Zola. I am happy to be back, and spend time with you guys," Owen replied.
Bailey made a happy sound from next to Owen, smiling broadly and placing one of his sticky hands on top of Owen's arm. Owen quickly lifted it away and tried to clean the chubby hand from melted ice cream. Even though his light blue shirt was probably already ruined Owen could impossible get annoyed, because having the sandy blonde boy so content to sit next to him and eat his ice cream – the same Owen was having, chocolate – only made him smile. He was genuinely happy to be back, and specifically right here.
Zola continued, after making a face at her brother for not being able to eat ice cream as good as herself. "Where were you? At the beach?"
Figuring that the kids probably had been told he had been on vacation, Owen gently grinned before answering. "Not the beach. My skin wouldn't be able to take the constant sun." That made Amelia laugh and Zola giggled, Bailey also smiling because he did not want to be left out even though he did not understand the joke.
They continued to chat for a while as the kids finished their ice cream. Amelia kept having a content smile on her face while her eyes glistened with something Owen could only describe as amusement or mischief. He found himself desperately curious as to what she was thinking.
When the kids were finished, Bailey leaving almost half of his ice cream in a melted mess on the table, Owen cleaned the boy's hands and face with the wet wipe Amelia handed him. Bailey was babbling about the siblings' latest cartoon obsession, Toy Story, letting Owen do his best in wiping away the stickiness from his skin and clothes. Owen nodded every other second, uttering a 'really' or a 'that's cool' in order to urge to boy on. He found himself unable to really focus though, as his attention was on Amelia.
He tried not to be too apparent, but kept glancing over to her figure as she gave Zola a napkin. She lifted Ellis from the stroller, placing her on her lap, and bounced the girl a few times trying and succeeding to make the baby happy. Ellis had become more tired and cranky the past half hour, but they had wanted to stay until everybody had finished their ice cream. Amelia stood up with Ellis, and while balancing the baby on her hip and reaching for Zola's jacket her shirt and leather jacket rode up a bit revealing the milky skin of her side.
Owen cleared his throat and had to concentrate to keep functioning in his task to get Bailey cleaned. He had been watching Amelia in close scrutiny for the most part of the day and it was making him going stir crazy. She was so gorgeous and all he wanted to do was worship every part of her. It was the small things, like the way her hair fell down her shoulders and looked so soft and made him want to bury his hands and nose in it or the way her lips moved upward in a million different ways, looking pink and soft and warm making him want to tug at them with his lips. Seeing her skin though, the velvety and pale skin he used to be able to kiss and touch, did things to his body and mind that was not appropriate for being around little children.
The tugging of his shirt made Owen realize he had been frozen staring yet again, and he returned to the task of putting Bailey's jacket on letting out a deep and wavering breath. The duo stood up from their shared seat, Bailey placing his small and chubby hand in Owen's.
"Everybody ready?" Amelia's chirpy voice said while she bounced Ellis on her hip, causing the little girl to giggle as she absentmindedly played with her aunt's hair. Amelia grimaced as the girl tugged a little too hard, but let her keep her small hands in her hair after loosening her grip. "Owen, can you take the stroller?" She did not wait for an answer, but started walking out from the restaurant with Ellis on her hip and a babbling Zola attached to her free hand.
Owen walked with Bailey, steering the stroller after the girls. His eyes moved to Amelia's backside, the way the perfect roundness of her ass moved as she walked. Those jeans were tight, much like Owen's own pants were staring to become. No, this was completely inappropriate. He was not some sex-obsessed creep unable to control himself. Sometimes his control seemed to waver around this particular woman, but this was out of line. He again cleared his throat, and started to talk to Bailey in order to distract himself.
"Took you long enough," Amelia said as Owen finally reached the car with Bailey in tow. She had already placed Ellis in her car seat and Zola had climbed in beside her sister. Bailey let go of Owen's hand and hearing the music from Zola's iPad inside the car, the boy found his place in the backseat.
Amelia had her hands on her hips and looked expectantly at Owen, like he somehow was in trouble. Her eyes scanned his body making Owen realize that maybe he had not been as discrete with his ogling of her the entire night as he had thought. He could feel his face become a crimson colour as his eyes widened, and he quickly mumbled some form of an apology before busying himself with putting the stroller in the back of the car.
He could hear Amelia chuckle behind him and felt her eyes watch him for a few seconds before he heard her open the car door and enter the driver's seat.
As Owen hopped into the front seat, the car was filled with music from the iPad in the backseat. It was a chirpy and monotone song, but Owen welcomed the sound as it broke the silence. Amelia put the car in motion and Owen kept his eyes on the road, cursing himself for being so awkward. He really had no idea where Amelia stood, what she was thinking about him and them or what she was feeling. And her constant smiling today and tonight was confusing. He had expected her to be upset with him, maybe even ignore him as he came back. She was confusing and unpredictable and she drove him crazy. In a good way.
After what felt like only minutes, Amelia had parked the car in the driveway of Meredith's house. She did not exit the car though, and as Owen turned his head to look at her he felt her hand on his forearm. Her gaze was fixed upon his, cerulean and gentle eyes meeting his. Gone was the amusement and mischief. "Stay for a while?"
Her voice was low and soft, and he felt her hand give his arm a light squeeze. Placing his right hand on top of hers, stroking the softness of her skin there, he replied, "I'll stay."
"What are we doing?" Zola's voice was heard from the backseat, making the two adults break from their moment. They shared an amused look before simultaneously opening the car doors, preparing to unload the kids.
They all made their way inside and were met by Meredith walking out from the kitchen area. Zola and Bailey rushed over to their mother, meeting her halfway, and started to tell her all about their afternoon. Meredith laughed before making her way over to Amelia and Owen. The kids disappeared to tend to their toys for a while before anyone could remind them that it was bedtime.
"Well, they seem to have had a great time." She took Ellis from Amelia's arms, and the baby immediately rested her tired face on her mother's shoulder.
"It's probably the sugar," Amelia joked as she took the kids' stuff from Owen and hung their abandoned jackets up on the hangers. Meredith rocked the baby in her arms, hugging the girl close. She had missed her babies today, even though it had been great to get some alone time after work. "Will you handle them for a while? Owen and I wanted to take a walk."
Amelia's voice made Meredith turn her face from Ellis, looking up at the twosome with a knowing glint in her eyes. She and Amelia had grown closer the past couple of weeks, closer than they had ever been and surprisingly to the both of them, they had come to actually understand and lean on each other. Meredith knew that even though Amelia was alright and had not said it out load, she had missed Owen like crazy. She knew that because the brunette would get hope in her eyes every time the doorbell rang, or her phone lit up or there was a page to the ER. A hope in her eyes that would turn into disappointment every time the ginger still turned out to be absent, a disappointment that she hid well and probably had no idea Meredith – and maybe even herself - was aware of. "Of course. Thank you for today. I'll see you later." Meredith gave Amelia a wink and walked toward the kitchen with the sleepy baby.
Owen felt Amelia's familiar hand take his as they walked outside in silence. They had been laughing and relaxed around each other all afternoon, but the mood seemed to now change to more serious. Amelia led the way down the front steps, tugging at his hand. It was a clear night with a soft breeze, making Owen absentmindedly move his thumb against the back of Amelia's hand for warmth. It was not cold, just extra nice to be holding someone's hand.
"I thought we were going for a walk," Owen said as they made their way around the house to the backyard, a place he had seldom visited throughout the years.
"I changed my mind," Amelia simply answered, pulling him down next to her on a wooden sofa. "I like to come here and sit. It's quiet, and nice, don't you think?"
"It is," Owen agreed as he took in the surroundings. It was nothing like the nature surrounding the Dream House and the trailer but she was right, it was nice. Maybe he would offer to build the kids a swing set or something, so Amelia and he could sit here and watch them play. He smiled at the thought, but only for a few seconds. They were still undefined, more so than ever since he had left.
Owen shifted on the sofa, turning against her. Watching her face while she seemed to be in deep thought, he was again mesmerized by her beauty. He could watch her face forever. Resting his elbow against the back of the sofa he let his fingers hesitantly come up to her hair. When Amelia did not flinch or pull away, but simply turned her face leaning into his touch, his fingers became bolder and he buried them in her silky waves, varying from massaging her scalp and stroking her hair. Their eyes locked, losing themselves in waves of blue as they both were soothed by the touch of Owen's fingers. "I have really missed you," Owen gently said after what could have been minutes or hours. Time seemed to have lost its grasp of them; there was only the two of them and this moment.
"I've missed you, too." Amelia's reply was almost instant, and their lips simultaneously curved upwards. Her voice was soft but lacked fear and hesitance. It was as if they had been through this back and forth so many times that one thing they had learnt was to be honest and unashamed of such words. Because they both knew they were true. If they had only been a fling once, this was way beyond that and they both knew it. Their feelings had not gone away, even after all they had been through, only grown stronger. And it was as if their souls knew that, and had fallen into an understanding and connection with the other one.
Amelia hooked one leg over his and leaned her head on his shoulder, letting his arm find itself around her back. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and just savoured being close to him again. She felt him kiss the top of her head before he pulled her closer, and a wave of calm and contentment rushed through her body. The familiarity of the embrace made them both settle further into each other, Amelia's both legs resting on top of Owen's while he leaned back in the seat letting her whole body rest against him.
"You seem to be feeling better," Amelia said after a few minutes of silence, as an offering to start the conversation they both knew they needed to have. Her hands found their way under his jacket on either side of his body, for both warmth and closeness, while she nuzzled her face into his shoulder.
Owen placed yet another kiss to her hairline, lingering with his lips there as he spoke, tickling her skin slightly. "Yeah. I am. It's been hell but I'm really better now."
Amelia's hand moved underneath his jacket, softly caressing his chest right under his heart. "I'm glad," she said almost in a whisper.
Owen inhaled deeply, his hand brushing over her thigh resting on top of his. "I've seen this therapist. He specializes in PTSD."
"So no beach then?" Amelia said lightening the mood, receiving a chuckle from him and a squeeze of his arm around her.
"No beach. But I did spend some time with my mom."
Amelia smiled against his shoulder and inhaled his wonderful scent into her lungs. She could not describe what his smell was like, but it always drew her in, making her want to be impossibly closer and never leave. "Good. Your mom is nice."
"I have so much I want to tell you," he admitted, releasing a sigh and she could feel the frustration in his voice.
"We have time," she said in an attempt to reassure him, as her hand kept drawing patterns on his chest.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Amelia confirmed. It was a knowing between them, that they were going to be okay.
Owen wanted to prove himself though, explain his actions. She deserved to know everything. "Amelia, I'm sorry that I just left. Of how I treated you, and everyone. I was a mess, and I just-"
Amelia leaned her head a bit upward, making his gaze meet hers. She moved her hand to rest on his cheek, making him stop talking. "Shh. It's okay. I mean, we'll have to talk about it at some point but-, I'm actually glad that you left." His puzzled look made her try to explain better. "I mean, not that you left, left because I missed you, very much. But I was also in a bad place, and this time you've been away... You're not the only one who's done work on yourself. I was never really okay after Derek died. Meredith and I, we were not okay. But we are now. She's been going through a lot, and I have too, but we've grown closer and helped each other. And I've been to LA, seen the people who were always there for me and care about me. And I, I am finally okay. Like, really okay Owen." She smiled up at him, her fingers lightly caressing his face. And he smiled back, admiration and awe filling his insides. Amelia never failed to captivate him, with her strength and her being.
"Nothing makes me happier than hearing you say that. Nothing." He looked her deep in the eye, and she could see that his words were genuine.
"Are you okay?" She traced the lines of his face with her hand, affection and love touching his skin through her fingers and her voice.
"I am. I'm still the same damaged man, but I've worked through this one thing. I never thought I could feel like this, so light you know? Like I've had this big weight on my shoulders for so long I didn't even know it, and now it's coming off."
"I think I know what you mean. We'll always have our baggage, our past. It's part of what makes me, me and you, you." She watched him, watched the lines of his face and the curve of his lips. She knew his face so well, and she wanted to always know it. "And I love every part of you, Owen." She was serious, keeping her hold of his cheek and watching his eyes. "I love you." She sat up a bit straighter and held his face in both hands, her thumbs moving in gentle strokes against his cheeks. "I love you," she whispered and looked down at his lips for a second, before meeting his eyes again. She leaned closer and closed her eyes, pressing her lips against his. It was just a soft peck, followed by another peck and then another. Before Owen pulled away, his eyes dark and filled with emotion making her want to drown in the blue.
"I love you, too, Amelia." His words were a whisper against her warm and swollen lips as he leaned in closer, their foreheads resting against each other. As her lips began to form a smile he kissed her again, tugging at her bottom lip and seeking entrance to her mouth.
They would eventually talk about everything. About everything that had happened the last couple of months, about death and fear and unicorn babies, about sobriety and loss and anger. And they would talk about a future, their future. About houses and marriage and children and everything that they wanted, together.
For now though, making out in Meredith's backyard was more than enough. It was just the two of them, and nothing else mattered.