Dean was laying on his bed reading a book when there was a soft knock on the door. Mary poked her head in, "you ready to talk honey?" she asked and Dean felt a twinge of panic, he had almost forgotten that his mom saw his scars and that she wanted to talk. "Uh, yeah, I guess…" Dean said slowly sitting up. "Okay, I'm going to go change then I'll be back in." She said and left the doorway, returning 5 minutes later. Mary came back in the room in baggy pajama pants and a t shirt, she slid up the bed to sit next to Dean.
"Okay, just tell me why." Mary said quietly. "I… I don't know." Dean whispered, "bull. I'm sorry but everyone has a reason. I honestly don't think anyone would do this for fun." Mary said, Dean took a deep breath and released it; "i-it's the only way to make the voices stop." Dean said in such a small voice it reminded Mary of when he was a little kid. "What voices?" "I-in my h-head… When I get scared, or when I'm upset… Th-they.. Well it, it sounds like dad." Dean said absently rubbing his arm where most of his scars were. "Always telling me h-how pathetic I am. A-and how I'm nothing but a worthless omega." Dean said choking back sobs. "It goes away as soon as the blood sp-spills." Dean said curling into Mary. "Don't hate me. Please, ju-just don't hate me." Dean sobbed. Mary started crying too, "honey, I could never hurt you. What John did to our family is wrong. What he said to you before he left never should have happened. But you listen to me Dean Winchester. You are one of the most incredible people I know. You love and care about everyone, you're an amazing artist, and I know for a fact that Sam looks up to you. So please talk to me when you're feeling bad or talk to Sam. Just, I can't loose you too." Mary said and carefully hugged her son.
Neither of them knew how long they sat there, they only broke apart when Lucy decided to join them on the bed. Mary sniffed and pulled away, "I'm sorry." she whispered and Dean's head shot up, "wh-why are you sorry?" he asked baffled. "I should have noticed something was wrong. I should have talked to you after you're father left." "Mom, stop. Please don't blame yourself." Dean said fresh tears dripping down his face. "I-it's my burden to bear. I did this to my self, I-I deserve to have you disappointed in me and everything." Dean said taking his glasses off to rub his good eye.
"Just promise me you'll come to me, Sammy or even Cas or Bobby, if you're ever feeling like cutting." Mary said, "Cas doesn't know. Neither does Bobby, but I promise I will talk to someone, I uh I already promised Sam I'd snap this against my wrist if I ever felt the urge." Dean said playing with the hair tie. "Ah, so that's where it went." Mary chuckled, "do you need it back?" Dean said moving to take it off but Mary stopped him, "no, I have more. What ever helps you honey, do it." she said and kissed his forehead. "I'm going to go downstairs and clean up a bit before Cas gets here. Do you happen to know what time he will be over?" Mary asked sliding off of the bed, "uh probably not till after swim practice so like 6?" Dean said "okay, try to get some rest okay?" Dean nodded and slid under the covers and Lucy snuggled up to him some how knowing she needed to be gentle with him.
Dean rolled over to his good side and just lazily stroked Lucy's soft fur while he fell asleep. Next thing he knew something wet was all over his face. "What the hell?" Dean mumbled and opened his good eye and was met with another lick from Lucy. "Ah, Lucy that's disgusting!" Dean groaned and pushed the dog away and sat up wincing at his sore ribs. He was just about to get out of bed when the door creaked open and Sam poked his head in. "Dean? Can I come in?" Sam asked quietly, "yeah Sammy." Dean replied "are you okay?"
"I'll be fine. Nothing's broke so I'll just be sore for a while." Dean said standing up, "oh… Does uh, does mom know now?" Sam asked moving out of the way so Dean could get out. "Yeah Sammy, she knows now." Dean said, "don't worry bout it though okay?" "Come on, I'm hungry." he continued and they made their way downstairs. "Oh good, you're up, now, I know you said Cas will be here around six so, I can make a big meal or just order pizza." Mary said finishing up washing the dishes. "Oh, uh… Pizza." Dean said while opening the fridge, "what? Cas is coming over here? Why?" Sam asked clearly confused.
"Well, we kinda had a date tonight and since I don't want to go any where anymore but I felt bad about canceling, mom said he could come hang out here." Dean said trying to reach down for a coke but winced and gasped a little. "You okay?" Sam eyed him, "yeah, uh will you get me a coke? I-it hurts when I bend over." Dean said a blush crawling up his cheeks. Sam hopped off his stool and grabbed two cokes and handed one to Dean. "Thanks." Dean mumbled and grabbed a bag of chips and sat next to Sam at the island.
They sat there for awhile munching on chips when Dean felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He slid his phone out and saw that he was getting a call from Cas, he slid off the stool and went to the living room. "Hello." "Dean! Oh my god, I've been wanting to call you all day!" "Why all day?" Dean asked, "Bobby told me what happened and I just wanted to make sure you were okay, but every time I got a chance too, I chickened out figuring you needed rest."
"I'm okay Cas…" Dean said smiling a little at the fact that Cas was worried about him. "Uh Bobby also told me that you wanted me to come over… Since we can't go out." "Oh, yeah! Uh mom said she'd get pizza and make sure that Sammy leaves us alone…" Dean said "that sounds perfect. I have to go to swim practice now, I should be there around 6:30?"
"Sounds good Cas. See you then." Dean said and hung up the phone, and when he turned around Mary and Sam were standing in the living room with him smiling. "Really?! You guy's couldn't have given me 5 minutes of privacy!?" Dean groaned but smiled anyway. "Sorry sweetie, we both are just happy that you found someone." Mary smiled, "mom, I haven't found anything. It was just going to be a date, now we're just hanging out." Dean said his blush returning.
He could now open his eye a little better but still couldn't really see out of it. He checked his appearance in the mirror one last time before heading back downstairs. It was 6:15 and Dean couldn't sit still, he paced from the kitchen to the living room every now and then pausing to look out the window. "Dean, sit down, you're making me dizzy." Mary chuckled and Dean jumped, not aware he was being watched.
"Mom! Don't do that!" Dean said turning around, "sorry, but it's the truth. I just ordered the pizza it should be here a little after Cas does. Now, sit and be good." Mary smiled, "don't talk to me like I'm Lucy." Dean grumped and sat on the couch and folded his arms. Dean could breath easier now but he was still sore, so when there was a knock and he jumped up he bout knocked the wind out of himself.
"I got it!" he yelled and walked towards the door and swung it open. "Hey Cas." Dean smiled, and Cas just stared at him, "hi." Cas smiled also, "here, come in." Dean said and moved out of the way. "Thank you." "Uh pizza should be here soon." Dean said and took Cas's jacket to hang up in the closet. "Come on, my mom wants to meet you." Dean said and Cas followed.
Cas was a nervous wreck, by time Gabe picked him up from swim he couldn't concentrate on anything. He just ran through the motions while he was in the shower, thinking about seeing Dean and what condition he was in. He dressed in dark jeans and a light blue v-neck t shirt and checked the address one more time before borrowing Gabe's car to head to Dean's. Cas pulled into the driveway right as the clock on the dash hit 6:30, he got out of the car and made his way up to the front door and knocked. When Dean answered it a few seconds later the air in Cas's throat got stuck when he saw the black eye. He desperately wanted to make sure Dean was okay and once again swore revenge on Alistair.
"Come on, my mom wants to meet you." Dean said and Cas's heart started racing, 'what if I make a fool of myself, what if she doesn't like me and won't let Dean go out with me?!' Cas internally panicked. He followed Dean into the kitchen where his mother and a boy who must be Sam were talking about a science project. "Mom, this is Cas. Cas this is my mom, Mary." Dean introduced us.
Mary was beautiful Cas thought, he knew that Dean must get his warm heart from her, "hello Cas, nice to meet you." She said, "hello, it's nice to meet you too. Dean has told me a lot about you." Cas smiled, "and you must be Sam." he continued and Sam seemed relieved that he didn't call him Sammy. "Yep, Dean hasn't shut up about you since school started." "Sammy! Shut up!" Dean yelled and Cas could see the blush rushing to his cheeks. Which made Cas fall harder for the boy, and they haven't even had a date yet. "So, uh we'll be in the living room…" Dean said slowly backing out of the kitchen grabbing Cas's arm in the process.
"Your mom is very nice." Cas said once they were seated on the couch. "Yeah… She's great." Dean said and Cas could see the small smile forming. They sat there talking for a little bit about random things when the doorbell rang. "Boy's! Pizza's here!" Mary called out, Dean and Cas made their way to the kitchen when they heard heavy footsteps running down the stairs before Dean could give any warning Lucy skidded into the kitchen an jumped on Cas. "Lucy! Get down!" Dean scolded but was shocked when Cas started laughing and scratched behind her ear. "It's alright Dean, I like her." Cas said and grabbed her paws off his chest and put them on the floor. "Sam why don't you put her outside for awhile." Mary suggested.
Dean grabbed their pizza and a few Cokes and followed Cas back to the living room. "Alright, uh.. We can watch tv or I have a bunch of movies." Dean said setting the food on the coffee table, "a movie would be fine… But I should warn you… I haven't seen many movies." Cas said and Dean spun around. "Please tell me you've at least seen Star Wars." "Uh.. that's the one with Spock right?" Cas said and a blush was creeping up his neck.
"No Cas, that's Star Trek… Okay we're watching Star Wars." Dean said and gently lowered himself to the floor so he could get to the movies. He popped the movie in and sat next to Cas… A lot closer than before but neither of them seemed to notice, or care. "Uh, Dean? Why are we starting with the 4th one? Don't you normally start with 1 when watching a movie series?" Cas asked taking a bite of the pizza.
"Yeah, but not Star Wars man, you gotta start with the 4th because it was the first one to come out. Don't ask me why, but that's the way they did it." Dean said shoving his own slice of pizza in his mouth. They sat there eating at watching the movie in silence, at some point, after the pizza was gone, their hands ended up tangled together and were resting on Cas's lap.
Half way through the movie, Dean found himself watching Cas more than the movie, he couldn't help but concentrate on his facial expressions when a new scene came up. His gaze flickered down to his lips and Dean couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like to kiss them. "Cas." Dean whispered and when Cas turned his head he flinched just a little from Dean's closeness.
"Dean?" Cas whispered back and Dean surged forward and smashed his mouth against Cas's, he pulled away when he realized that Cas wasn't kissing back. Dean backed away bushing, "Cas. I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have I…" Dean stumbled "y-you can leave if you want. I'll understand." Dean stared at his hands cursing himself for being so stupid, "Dean." Cas said quietly and slid across the couch, "Dean look at me." Dean looked up and Cas had a small smile on his face, "I should be apologizing… You caught me off guard. But if you'll let me, I'd like to try it again." Dean just stared at him and they both slowly leaned in and they pressed their lips together.
Cas traced Dean's bottom lip with his tongue and he felt Dean open up so he pushed his tongue inside. They sat there making out before Dean had enough of it and moved to straddle Cas's lap. Dean put his hands on Cas's chest and deepened the kiss, forgetting about Dean's ribs Cas grabbed on to his sides causing Dean to break the kiss and his in pain.
"Oh god, Dean I'm sorry. I-I forgot." Cas said immediately letting go, "it's alright Cas… Just be careful." Dean said and dove back in, this time fisting his hands in his hair and Cas gently placed his hands on Dean's sides only to slide them down to grab onto his hips. Both boys completely in to it until they heard Mary call out from the kitchen, "Dean honey?" Dean quickly pulled himself off Cas and ended up laying on the couch with his feet propped up on Cas's lap, also fighting back a string of curses when the movement hurt his bruised ribs.
Mary came into the living room right as Dean calmed down, "Dean, I'm going to take Sam over to Andy's then Ellen called and she needs my help down at the Roadhouse. I'll be home later, but please don't stay up too late, Cas sweetie, it was nice to meet you. I hope to see you around." Mary smiled and Dean got up more gently than he should and gave Mary a quick kiss on the cheek and a hug. "Okay, mom love you bye." He said quietly and Cas could practically feel the love vibrating off the too, "bye, love you too."
Dean watched Mary and Sam walk to the car before going back to the living room. "That was close…" Cas chuckled, "yeah, it was." Dean replied and sat back down on the couch, "so…" Dean started, "so…" Cas repeated and leaned back in, "I wasn't quite done." he smirked and pressed his chapped lips against Dean's gently, lowering himself over Dean but was careful not to put any pressure.
They laid there making out lazily for almost an hour until Cas's phone started ringing. "Uugghh." Cas groaned and sat up to answer his phone; "Gabriel, it better be important." "Sorry to bother you princess, but you know how I didn't give you a curfew… well mom and Dad came home and they want you home at 11." "And they couldn't call and tell me themselves?" Cas asked a little annoyed, "you know how they are… But I'll let you get back to your lover night Cassie." "Night." Cas hung up and checked the time, 9:30. "What did Gabe want?" Dean asked sitting up not even wincing this time.
"Just to inform me that our parents came home and want me home by 11. Which I was going to leave by anyway since I have to work in the morning." Cas said throwing his phone on the table. "Oh, uh… Where do you work?" Dean asked feeling stupid that he doesn't even know anything about Cas and yet here they were sucking each others faces. "At the Gas 'N Sip by the library." Cas replied. "Oh.. But uh, I just realized I don't know shit about you." Dean said and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Oh, well… Uh my parents are Naomi and Bartholomew, they are never home they always travel for business. Gabe, wants to go to culinary school once he graduates. I love to swim, my favorite food is a cheese burger, my now favorite movie is Star Wars. My favorite book is The Hobbit, favorite color is green. I uh… I had a little sister but she um. She ran away before we moved to the town before this one, and we haven't seen her since." Cas said, "oh. I'm sorry." Dean said quietly, "it's okay. What about you?"
"Uh… I'm an aquarius, Sammy and my mom mean everything to me. Uh, you already know my uncle Bobby works at the school, his wife, my mom's sister is Ellen she owns the Roadhouse. They have a daughter named Jo who is at MIT right now. I love photography and drawing, my favorite movie is Batman, favorite color is blue and my favorite food is also cheese burgers. Uh since you told me bout your sister, I guess I can tell you about my father… He uh, he used to be an awesome dad, but when I presented as an omega, he kinda went off the rails a bit. Started drinking a lot more, he always said that Sam would be his golden boy and when Sam presented as a beta in the beginning of the summer, he just up and bolted. But he made damn sure he let us know how much of a disappointment we were to him, me especially." Dean said staring at the floor.
"Dean. I'm sorry, that must have been hard." Cas said and Dean scoffed on the inside, 'you have no fucking idea.' he thought to himself. "Look, I better go. I'll see you monday right?" Cas said standing up, "yeah, course." Dean said following Cas to the door. "Look, I had a great night… I hope next time we can actually go out." Dean said handing Cas his jacket, "me too. As long as we do more of this." Cas smirked and kissed Dean once more before heading home. Dean let Lucy in and they went upstairs for the night.
* Hey guys! Sorry for such the long wait! I got busy then I lost internet due to snow... So yeah, hopefully the next chapter will be up sooner!