John walked alone without a particular destination in mind. The cold late November air helped clear his mind. It calmed him. What Finch said had swirled in his mind for the better part of an hour, cancelling on Shaw would come back to haunt him later but he turned his phone off and discarded the bug he found on him so he could be left alone to think.

And he did but came no closer to a conclusion as to what to do.

He wanted Joss, god did he want her with every part of his being. Wanted to kiss her, make love to her, and hold her and never let her go. Joss was taking his heart piece by piece and almost, as if, by magic, mending it. It frightened him to need someone as much as he needed Joss.

"John, at some point whether it was conscious or not; you opened yourself up to her,"

John swallowed hard because Finch was right; at some point he had opened himself up to Joss. But could he handle loving Joss and then possibly losing her? Or should he just let what he truly desired go and force contentment with friendship. As he thought he walked aimlessly down the street. The calm walking instilled deep inside him waned as he angrily tried to ignore the intense longing that threatened to choke him. Love wasn't meant for people like him. He was a mere soldier destined to save others so they could go home to their loved ones, live out their happily ever after, not get his own. He came to terms with his fate a long time or at least so he thought so until Carter entered his life.

He stopped mid-stride as he realized where he was. It was the alleyway where he saved Joss from her C.I.; John slowly entered and moved unhurriedly to about where she had lied. He barely aimed for the shoulder of the man towering over about to shoot her in the head. The old him; the one before meeting Joss Carter, would have gone for the headshot but he knew she wouldn't have wanted that. No, Joss was a far better woman than anyone he ever met. Instead he had winged the man but enough to incapacitate him so he could do no harm to her.

John stared down at the pavement and tried to formulate a reason as to why he was here right now. What led him here?—here of all places? But he had no answer. Just as he had no answer as to what he wanted to do about the state of his relationship with Carter; being on the precipice of friends or more as they teetered back and forth left him feeling unsteady. Oh he knew she was going to think he was avoiding her but he wasn't. He just didn't know what to say or do. And he didn't trust himself to be alone with her at her place to talk.

But she kissed him back. She got caught up in the moment as he much as he had and had been undoing his shirt. So that meant it wasn't solely one-sided didn't it? Should he listen to Finch?—last time he hadn't chosen with heart and it still ended in loss.

John wasn't consciously aware of the fact that he was turning his phone on and calling Joss until the phone was already ringing.

She answered on the first ring. "Hey you," she greeted softly.

"Hey," he responded awkwardly. Now that he called her; he had to figure out what he was going to say. She was going to want answers.

"Shaw told me you cancelled dinner with her."

He sighed. "I didn't think she'd care that I cancelled on her since it wasn't at a steakhouse." he muttered.

"She didn't. But she knew I would." Joss admitted.

"Why would you care if I cancelled dinner with Shaw or not?" he wondered.

She chuckled softly. "I wouldn't if it was dinner for you and Shaw. But I was going in place of her." she explained.

John closed his eyes as he half-laughed. "Now it makes sense why she let me choose the restaurant." he murmured with a shake of his head. He should have known.

"I had to get creative so you wouldn't know to avoid me." she chided but without any anger in her voice.

"I wasn't avoiding you," he argued gently. She scoffed. "I wasn't, I just needed time to think…alone." he responded trying to explain himself. John knew it wasn't adequate but it was the best answer he could give her.

Joss was quiet for a few moments. "Are you through thinking alone?" she asked. He looked up when she sounded awfully close. John stared as Joss stood in the mouth of the alleyway. She smiled as she waved a little bit. "So are you?—I could take a walk around the block if you're not." she offered over the phone.

"Yes,"

Joss nodded as she slowly entered the alleyway and hung up the phone sliding it into her leather coat's pocket. Her hair was down blowing from the slight breeze and she walked over to him with measured steps. John stared as Carter had to be the most beautiful woman ever that left him speechless time and time again.

As she drew near he finally found his voice, "I thought I found all of Shaw's bugs on me." he commented when words defied him. He always got tongue-tied around her.

She smiled. "You did, which irritated her so don't be surprised if you find more on you sooner rather than later. But I was out looking for you and something drew me here, to this place," she admitted as she stopped in front of him. Joss searched his gaze. "And probably is the same something that drew you here too, John."

"Carter…"

"Come to my place so we can talk about what is going on with us. It's cold and it's too wide open to talk about personal matters." Joss cajoled. "Remember you and Finch are private people."

This had to be a sign. They both were led to this same exact spot for a reason. Joss always wished to believe in soulmates, fairy tales, and happily ever afters even with all the ugliness she was exposed to on a daily basis. It was fun to dream. Her dreams were shattered when Paul wasn't the love of her life, her soul-mate. And she met so many wolves she doubted there were dashing princes. Not that she needed a knight in shining armor. She'd shove the damn guy out of the way and show him how to slay a dragon. And happily ever afters…how could she believe in those, when she had made one too many of those late night visits to parents that lost a son or daughter too early, giving them the only condolence she could that she'd catch their killer if it was the last thing she did.

Nope fairy tales, soul-mates, and happily ever afters belong in fiction. But maybe there was real world magic…like chemistry between two people that burned bright and was fruitless to deny or fight against. Her connection with John was strong like two magnets and they seemingly found each other…maybe she'd have to rethink her skepticism about soulmates.

Joss blinked out her thoughts as she realized John was shifting awkwardly clearly catching her in her thoughts. "I'm sorry what did you say, John?" she asked.

"I said; I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Carter." he murmured.

"What coming over to my place or us?" she questioned.

"Both,"

Joss nodded. "Why because of your past?" she wondered, trying to gauge what was holding him back. It wasn't as if he could claim he didn't want her.

"I've done things that I'm not proud of."

"Haven't we all," she retorted dryly as she folded her arms across her chest. "I've lied to my friends and to myself for a while now that I'm only friends with this guy; when all day and all night I imagine doing things to him that would make even Shaw blush."

"Joss…"

She sighed as he wouldn't let it go. "John, you're a good man and that's all I will ever see in you. Nothing you say about your past is going to make me believe any less of you. The man that did those things is not the man that is standing right in front of me." she stated firmly.

"You don't know everything."

"No, I don't. But you'll be telling me. I got my ways." she teased as she wiggled her brows. "Are you forgetting?—I'm an interrogator and you'll be telling me all your secrets."

John frowned as he shook his head. "This isn't a joke, Joss." he said gruffly.

She sobered up. "I know that. Do you really think that I wouldn't treat you opening up to me and showing me a part of yourself that you don't show with anyone else, with respect that it would deserve?" she wondered as she stepped toward him. There was something in his eyes, as if, she had just cracked him wide open, and exposed him.

Joss drew closer to him. "John, I know how difficult opening up is for you and I would never take the fact that you chose to, with me, for granted. And we'll go at your pace but just know, up front, I want to know it all. It's only fair since you know everything there is to know about me." she added.

"I don't deserve you."

She smiled a little. "We don't quite see eye to eye on that particular subject but I don't want to argue with you. What I want is to get you to agree to come home with me and talk this out and figure out what we are going to do about it. We aren't just friends. If we were that second kiss wouldn't have happened. And I wouldn't had been so turned on by it." she confessed. He looked up at into her eyes in surprise. The hint of vulnerability evaporated and was replaced with desire. "Please John come home with me so we can discuss us."

John didn't say anything for several moments but rather just simply stared into her eyes as if searching for some key to a question he wanted an answer too. She hoped he could see the truth in her gaze. "Alright," he whispered after a minute.

Joss smiled widely and he slowly returned it.

AN: RIP T rating, it was fun while I knew you but alas next chapter this story is going to be moved into the M section.

Thanks for reading!