~Chapter 6~

The teen ninja pushed Barry forward. He stumbled, and Kyle and Egbert just managed to catch him.

"Now I understand," Egbert said and pointed his finger at Ben. "You didn't need to sell the Rainbow Monkey Lisa to pay off bullies. You needed to sell her to pay the Teen Ninjas for infecting Reggie Olsson with chickenpox, so you could become curator instead of him."

"I had to do it," Ben said. "Reggie had no taste in art at all. He would have ruined the museum. The Rainbow Monkey Lisa was a small price to pay to get rid of him, and I never liked her anyway. Way tacky."

"And you planted a chewed-up match in the room, so Hoagie and the others would go after us - until you had sold the Lisa," Egbert continued. He was letting his mouth run while his mind was racing, trying to find a way to get them out of the room and away from the terrifying Teen Ninja. But no plan was coming up.

Suddenly Kyle clapped his hands together: "Right! A fine summary of the case, Egbert. Well, our work here is done, let's get back to the office and wrap it up." He started walking towards the door, until the Teen Ninja blocked his path and pointed her arm cannon straight at his face.

"Where do you think YOU'RE going?" she demanded.

"Oh Puh-LEEZE," Kyle sighed scornfully. "Numbuh Three and Numbuh Four have their guns pointed at you as we speak." He nodded towards the windows. "Just let us go, and no one gets hurt. Are you coming, guys?"

Barry and Egbert were awestruck. This was magnificent bluffing. For a moment, they almost started to applaud.

Then the Teen Ninja laughed a very unpleasant laugh. Her visor and helmet sled away and revealed an African-American girl's face that would have been very beautiful, had it not been radiating such icy malevolence. "You're good kid, real good. But that won't help you and your little friends, 'cause I know you're not the real Hoagie Gilligan. You're way too cool and you haven't made a single dorky pass at me yet."

"Aww, Cree, I knew I'd made an impression on you." Hoagie Gilligan – the REAL Hoagie Gilligan – stepped forward from behind one of the curtains. The Teen Ninja Cree spun around and pointed her cannon at him.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YOU CRUDDY TEENAGER!" Wally Beatles emerged from one of the drawers in the filing cabinet and pointed a S.C.A.M.P.P. at Cree. At the same time, the cupboard under the desk flew open and Kuki Sanban jumped out and pointed her G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A. at Ben.

"Rainbow Monkey Lisa TACKY?" she shrieked. "You'll pay for this, Arnold!"

"You know, Ben," Hoagie said calmly, "I don't like it when things are too easy. A chewed-up match right on the scene of the crime," he pulled out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket, "smelled of setup to me. So I had the KND science nerds compare the DNA from the match with the spittle you left on your milk glass in school." He held up the paper, where three words were written:

ITS TOTALLY HIM!

"Hold it RIGHT THERE!" Ben shouted, pulled out a water-balloon shooter and pointed it at Hoagie. "I'm not going to KND Prison – never, never, NEVER, you hear me?" He started moving backwards towards the door.

"Wait a minute, Arniekins," Cree snarled, raising her other arm cannon and pointing it at Ben, who froze. "You're not going anywhere until I've gotten my pay!"

"Erm – look," Egbert said. He was going to point out that since he, Barry and Kyle were clearly irrelevant for the rest of the discussion, and didn't have any weapons, maybe it was best if they just left, but when every single weapon in the room suddenly swung in his direction he kind of lost track of his argument.

And then the claw of a humongous mecha smashed through the wall.

Everybody in the room dived for cover as Mr. Boss, Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb jumped in through the gaping hole all three carrying large ice-cream guns and looking completely livid. Mr. Boss' and Mr. Fibb's mustaches were full of small pieces of paper.

"YOU SOLD ME PAPIER-MACHE, YOU LITTLE RUNT!" Mr. Boss roared, firing a volley of rum-raisin in Ben Arnold's general direction.

And then the room became very noisy.

Egbert, Barry and Kyle had thrown themselves to the floor the moment the shooting began. While everybody was shooting at everybody else they crawled, inch by inch through the room, gumballs, ice-cream bullets, red-hot soda streams, water-balloons and laser beams flying over their heads. They got out of the room, jumped up and started running, ran down the hall, through the museum and out of the door. Not even pausing they grabbed their bikes and speeded away without looking back.

XXX

The three kids threw down their bikes on Egbert's lawn, staggered into their lair and collapsed on the chairs around the old table.

"Teen ninjas … mechas … and guns … oh, no," Kyle muttered.

"And the candy was a lie," Egbert sighed and shook his head sadly, "Look guys, I'm sorry I pulled you through all that."

"Arh, well," Barry said, always the optimist, "we got out in one piece – and I think Sector V will forget about us, now they have the Lisa and Ben's been caught doing dirty deals with Teen Ninjas. Let's have a soda, and get on with our lives." He pulled three sodas from the hiding place under the floor and opened them. "Bottoms up."

Egbert stretched to reach his soda, when he felt something heavy in one of his pockets. He pulled it out – it was a bottle of perfume. He had taken it from Ben's stash and absent-mindedly put it in his pocket back at the office. He was just about to throw it away, when he stopped. He looked thoughtfully at the bottle and weighed it in his hand.

"Guys … Guys

"What is it, Eggy?"

"How would you like to get some candy out of the evening anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"By this point Laura Limpin will have gotten her Saturday night candy. Her parents always keep an extra stash hidden away, in case they need to calm her down later. They hide it on the top shelf of the broom cupboard under the stairs. Piece of cake."

"That's brilliant, Eggy"

"But, Eggy … Laura Limpin is dangerous."

"Not at all. I've got a plan. We'll need two pounds of nine-inch nails, a raincoat, a whoopee cushion AND this bottle of perfume. Let's get to work!"

~THE END~

And so the 'Reilly Gang are on towards new exploits guided by Eggy's brilliant plans. If you have enjoyed the ride, please let me know what you think. As always comments, especially on language and writing style, are welcome. I am trying to improve.

All the best

Kids Next Door rules

Ulathon