This… this chapter is why I don't write smut -_- You'll understand once you read it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia

WARNING: Smut is in this chapter, just so you know and it doesn't take you by surprise. Though I don't see how it would.

Chapter 6: ESPN Room

"Amelia!" Ivan called, poking his head through the door to the kitchen. He was met with the sight of Claire already hard at work whipping up breakfast, sweat beading on her brow. "Claire, have you seen Amelia?"

"No, darling, I haven't seen her since she came in smelling like fire and burnt rubber," she told him, wrinkling her nose in disgust. The smell was stuck in her nose and nothing had gotten rid of it. She'd even ventured into Gilbert and Gisela's room. It had smelled just as hideous as always, but that hadn't changed a thing. "And the river," she added as an afterthought, "Maybe she's with Maggie. They're been spending more time together than usual."

Ivan nodded. "Thank you, Claire. I'll be back to wait tables after I find Lia."

"Alright, hon, take your time," she called as he let the door swing shut behind him, a knowing lilt to her voice.

He trekked up one of the many hidden stairways to the second floor. He popped out near the room he shared with Toris, the little Lithuanian who seemed perpetually terrified of him. His lover though, Felicks, the Polish prostitute at IHOP (International House of Prostitutes), the other brothel they were competing against, didn't seemed to fear him at all. His front was very good.

He made it to his wife's room, tapping on the door lightly. "Maggie, are you here?" he called, waiting for confirmation before pushing open the door, "Have you seen Lia lately?" He took a cursory glance around the room, making sure she wasn't in there.

She frowned, setting aside her pencil and textbook. "No, she was supposed to come and study with me after she finished up with your clothes, but she never showed up. Have you checked the stage? She has to perform with Alfred, Matthew, Gilbert, Markus, Toris, and Fane."

Ivan blinked. He hadn't thought of that. "She's dancing again? She's been doing that quite a lot lately. Has something happened?"

Maggie pursed her lips, considering the repercussions of I not telling him. "Well, yes, you could say that, but I'd rather have her tell you."

"Thank you, Marguerite," Ivan said, closing the door and heading for the stage. Once more, there was a missing Amelia.

Natalya ground her teeth, watching the men fall into disarray because the woman they were supposed to be centered around had yet to appear. Before Ivan could even open his mouth, she spat at him, "No, I haven't seen your fucking wife, and I don't know where she is. Why don't you go check the rooms for her and send her this way so I can rip her a new vagina?"

"Alright, Mistress Natalya, I will do as you wish," he told her, quickly rushing from the area so she wouldn't literally rip anything from his body. Instead, a knife whizzed past his head, imbedding itself in the wall.

"Be quick about it, Ivan dear, or you may find yourself fucking the questionable for the next month," she called too sweetly.

"Yes, Mistress!" He disappeared out the door before her next knife would find its target.

…..

"Amelia, sunflower, are you in here?" Ivan called, pushing the door open to the ESPN room. It was part of the Optional Sex wing which meant that you were paying for the room, not for the sex, which you could or didn't have to have, as long as you were okay with a little voyeurism.

All of the flat-screen TVs in the room were on, blaring football, hockey, soccer and baseball. In the middle of the room sitting on the largest beanbag of the century was Amelia cheering on her hockey team half-heartedly. She was snuggled down in one of his sweaters which was about three times too large for her. The hem ended in the middle of her bare thighs. She glanced up at his voice, her blue eyes scanning over him. "Yeah, I'm here," she replied, stating the obvious and patting the empty space beside her.

He took the invitation, dropping down beside her. In a moment, she crawled into his lap, straddling him and pressing her hips into his. She kissed him deeply, pushing her fingers into his pale hair, unconsciously rubbing her hips gently down into his.

He pulled away first, kissing along the exposed skin of her shoulder. She tugged on his scarf, loosening it enough so she could attack his neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking at his cool skin. She paused as the rumble of Ivan's words sent vibrations through her lips.

"Maggie told me that something happened. I would like to know what it was if you would tell me," he said, nuzzling the crook of her neck.

"I don't want to," she muttered, her lips ghosting over his neck sending shivers down his spine.

"Why?" he asked, a little hurt. They'd always told each everything like Maggie and she always did.

She was quiet, thinking of what exactly was the problem. "I want to kill the person myself if they ever come back here," she said firmly, happy with her answer.

Ivan chuckled, kissing her collarbone. "Alright, now… why have you suddenly ambushed me?"

Amelia pulled back, her lower lip puckered out in a pout. "We haven't had any alone time lately, and I'm starving." Her voice dropped to a sultry seductiveness that had Ivan's body reacting in ways that would have been awkward if he were standing (i.e. He got a boner.)

He smirked, pulling her into a kiss, allowing himself to press into her thigh. "I'll guess I'll just have to satisfy you then."

Amelia giggled in response, smiling into the kiss, and running her hands up under his shirt. "Guess what?"

"Hm?" he hummed, sucking at the skin of her collarbone, leaving a deep purple mark behind.

"I'm not wearing any underwear," she told him, relieving him of his shirt for the second time that day.

A mischievous grin spread across his lips and he grabbed her hips, coaxing her to stand on her knees. She stared down at him questioningly. "You shouldn't have told me that, sunflower," he told her just before pushing up the sweater and licking tentatively at her womanhood, pressing his mouth closer when a delicious shudder rocked her body.

He grinned, pressing his tongue into her with a fervency that had her sucking in air between her teeth. She mewled, tangling her fingers in his hair. He held her hips still as he continued his ministrations, making her moan loudly above him, her head lolling back.

"How am I doing?" he asked, pulling away just enough to look up at her, smiling widely.

She growled, pushing him back to where he'd been only moments ago. "I might forgive you for stopping if you continue right where you left off," she grumbled, her eyes still closed tightly in pleasure.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, pressing on.

Her hips rocked forward, held in place for the most part by Ivan's hands that could wrap around and easily engulf a baseball. She moaned wantonly, curling her fingers painfully in his hair, nearly pulling it out at the roots. "Please~" she moaned, loosening her fingers enough to run them lovingly through his hair in an attempt to coax him into bringing the torture to an end.

Slowly, teasingly, agonizingly slow, Ivan withdrew his tongue and flicked it over the small bundle of nerves that had her seeing stars. She let out a silent gasp, her knees tightening on either side of his hips. She leaned over him, shudders rocking her body. Sliding down so that she was sitting on his lap, she slumped against his chest, her breath coming in small, quick bursts. "Thank you, stud muffin," she murmured, pressing her nose against his neck.

"Lia, can you please not call me that?" Ivan asked with a chuckle, pushing his cool hands up the back of her sweater, running along her spine.

"What? You are one. You know, no one has given me oral sex in so long. It felt fantastic," she murmured, sleepy from her orgasm, "I wish I'd get it more often, but you give it the best."

"I know how to give it best? What am I? A whore?" Ivan asked, laughing as he pulled the sweater up and over her head.

"Actually…" Amelia let her hands drift down his body, gripping the waistband of his pants. Now, it was just finding the clasp and zipper. She pulled open his pants, starting to move down his legs.

"I would not finish that sentence," he told her as he grabbed her arms and pulled her back to him into a kiss. She tasted herself on his tongue, bitter and yet sweet at times. "I want to pleasure you, not the other way around, sunflower," he told her, smiling sweetly.

"But-"

"No 'buts', you don't get appreciated enough."

"But you appreciate me all the time," Amelia replied, bemused.

"Not enough." Without any further warning, he slid easily into Amelia. She accepted him easily, as she always had.

In one swift movement, Ivan had Amelia on her back, sinking down into the plush beanbag. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she giggled and pulled herself closer to him. He only allowed her a moment to catch her breath and prepare herself before beginning to move. He rocked into her at an insanely slow pace, making her growl impatiently, dragging her nails down his back.

"Ivan," she snarled, dragging out the vowel as long as she could manage, "Move faster. You're driving me insane."

"Then I'm doing my job correctly," he replied evenly, a smile evident in his voice.

She groaned, dropping her head back against the beanbag. "You're going to make me hate you."

"That's alright," he told her, bending forward to place a gentle kiss on her mouth. As their lips brushed together, he pushed into her hard and fast, making her gasp. She bit down harshly on his lower lip. Jerking back in surprise, he pressed his thumb to the bleeding wound in his lip.

"That's what you get!" Amelia shouted, but sat up as best she could, pulling his face down towards her, "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Before she could do much more than kiss the wound, Ivan moved, making her cry out. "A little warning," she groaned, falling back, her legs tightening around his waist. His thrusts became short and fast, his rhythm sloppy. They moved together, their voices filling the room in a deafening crescendo. Once their screams faded into nothing, they lay together, panting heavily.

"Hey, guys, if you're done fucking in there now, can you come and appease the dragon that is our Mistress? You've been in there for thirty minutes," Alfred asked, pushing open the door and staring down at them, not even caring that Amelia was completely naked.

They stared back at him, mouths agape. "Um, excuse me, have you ever heard of knocking?" Amelia quipped at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that in a brothel you needed to knock on the doors to enter a room. My bad," Alfred said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, "Just hurry up, would you?" With his request concluded, he left the room, letting the door swing shut.

Sighing, Amelia and Ivan got to their feet, pulling on their clothes. "I need a shower," Amelia mumbled.

…..

"Where the hell have you been, hm, Amelia?" Natalya asked, her voice sweet and sharp as a newly showered and dressed Amelia scampered into the performance are, leaping onto the stage where the men had given up. They were spread out across the stage, laid out on their backs in an attempt to catch a few minutes of sleep.

Amelia winced, turning slowly to meet Natalya's angry lavender gaze. "Sorry," she mumbled, staring sheepishly down at her feet.

"I didn't ask for an apology, I asked where you were," the woman replied even.

"With Ivan…" Amelia answered helpfully.

Natalya rolled her eyes. "No shit, Sherlock." She stared at the other woman intently, looking her up and down. "You were having sex weren't you?" she asked, her eyelids dropping as her level of amusement plummeted.

"Yeah," Amelia admitted, no shame in her voice as she grinned up at her old friend.

"Fine, jesus, fine, but this performance better go off without a hitch or you and Ivan will not be allowed in a room alone together for the next month," Natalya gave in, sighing and rubbing at her forehead.

"Of course, Mistress Natalya!" she cried enthusiastically, "Come on, boys! Let's get working!" The men groaned, but obediently pushed themselves up and grinned at her.

Well, there you go! I hope the smut wasn't as terrible as I thought it was, but it probably was, haha. See you in a few days. I start school this week so chapters might slow down again, sorry.

P.S.- As a reminder:

Claire – nyo!France

Felicks – Poland

Toris – Lithuania

Markus – male!Hungary

Fane – Romania