A/N: This is an angst chapter. Bad things are discussed. Here is the reason Dawn insists

on calling Joyce grandma and Buffy mom.

Sam was the one who got baby-sitting duty. He and Dawn sat at the dining room table

surrounded by books. Dawn's were for her school work (Buffy and John both insisted

that she not skip doing it) and Sam's were all about the demon category that the Ceiling

demon belonged to. Everyone else was out getting the warehouse organized, trying to see

how many hours they could beat the midnight deadline by. "Sam, when is Grandma's

next chemo treatment?" Dawn asked.

"Two days. That's why she's helping with the warehouse tonight. Tomorrow to get ready

for it, then treatment the day after. I've been wondering, why do you do that anyway?"

Sam asked, looking up at his little sister. His little sister. Now that was something he'd

never thought he'd get to say. Being in Dean's shoes was going to be a challenge. "Don't

you have fourteen years of memories of being Joyce's daughter?"

"Yes I do." Dawn said shortly, hoping Sam would drop it. It wasn't a subject she was

comfortable with.

"So, why do you do it?" Sam insisted. Dad was right. There was something wrong here.

He could feel it. Whatever it was, Dawn needed to talk about it. Burying your feelings

was one Winchester trait he really hoped Dawn hadn't inherited. Look where it had

gotten him. Four years of silence between him and his dad because neither could say they

were sorry about the fight. Hell, it had taken Dean's comment on how Dad would check

up on him at school before he had figured out why Dad had been so upset. He hadn't

been stupid while he was away from his family. He watched the papers. He knew

someone was hunting in the area about every two or three months. It had been Dad,

scared that Sam wouldn't or couldn't protect himself. But being a Winchester Dad hadn't

been able to say that, so he had gotten mad. And Sam had gotten mad right back,

although truthfully it hadn't taken much at the time to set him off. He didn't want

anything like that to happen to Dawn.

"You're going to keep pushing aren't you?" Dawn asked exasperated. Sam nodded over

the top of his stack of books. "I have memories, but they didn't happen. And I have to

remember that."

"Why?" Sam asked her again, a cold feeling of dread wrapping around his guts. He really

hoped it wasn't what his dad was worried about.

"Because it never happened, but if I don't remember that Hank Summers is going to be

very badly hurt." Dawn kept her head down, looking at her atlas. One of her school

projects was to figure out the best route from Sunnydale to an imaginary hunt location,

figuring in everything they would need for the hunt, gas, food, etc.

Sam reached over and lifted her chin. "You are a Winchester. You won't hurt him, no

matter what memory the monks gave you. We only kill demons, we don't hunt humans.

And from what I understand that's what you'd have to do to even find the jerk. We can

deal with the memory, Dawn. Just tell me."

Dawn took a deep breath and nodded. "It was just before the divorce. In fact Hank

walked out that night." Dawn took several more deep breaths. This was hands down her

worst memory. She'd take slaying gore over this any day. "I heard them starting to argue.

I knew Buffy was sneaking out and I decided to follow her. She had just been called, but

I didn't know that. All I knew was if she didn't have to listen to them, I wasn't going to

either." she paused, biting her lip. "I was nine, so I'd just found out what sex was. At the

time all I could think was gross, you know?"

"You just keep thinking that." Sam interrupted with a smile.

Dawn giggled and brushed the tears off her face. "I thought I would catch Buffy at it with

her boyfriend. You can imagine how disgusted I was when I saw her meet up with what

looked like this old homeless guy. I was sooo planning to blow the whistle on her when

we got back to the house. I figured there was no way she needed money that bad, right?"

Sam just nodded, his earnest 'we really are who we say we are and can you please help us?' face on. Internally he was already preparing himself for the worst. "So I followed them into this cemetery, and the old guy just sits on a headstone. He waves Buffy off towards on side of the cemetery and pulls out this notebook. He was her first Watcher of course. I know that now. So, I followed Buffy wondering just what was going on. I saw her save two teenagers lives that night. From vampires of course. I was totally in awe. My big sister was the real Clark Kent. Idiot cheerleader by day and superhero by night. We stayed out for a couple of hours. And then I followed her home.

"The whole memory thing is so fake I want to gag." She threw a disgusted look in Sam's

direction. "Like I could really follow a hunting slayer for three hours and not get caught?

Especially Buffy!" She huffed. "Stupid monks. Well I snuck in before she did and was

watching at the top of the stairs when Hank caught her sneaking back in. It was horrible.

Slut and whore were actually the nicest things he called her. He accused Mom,

Grandma," She said forcefully. "Of actually pimping out her own daughter. I sat there

listening to this filth pour out of him and I could see how much he was hurting them. The

same girl who had completely wiped the ground of the cemetery with four vampires, who

had saved two innocent peoples lives, was flinching from every word. It was like

suddenly finding out Superman was real and so was kriptonite. And Hank Summers was

cast in the role of Lex Luthor. Instead of fighting or arguing, Buffy just stood there and

took it. Because she couldn't tell him what she had been doing without putting him and

us in danger." Dawn looked at Sam. "He hurt her so bad, that if I don't keep reminding

myself it didn't happen, I would take this power," She poked herself hard in the chest

referring to the Key. "And I would tear him apart cell by cell, and keep him awake,

aware, and feeling every little bit of it for eternity.

"But it didn't happen. I'm only six months old. I've never seen Hank Summers. And I've

got the best Grandmother, parents and brothers in the world."

Before he even knew he was moving, Sam had Dawn in his arms and was letting her cry

out her distress on his shoulder. He looked up when he shifted to get her into his lap and

saw Buffy and his dad standing in the doorway behind Dawn's chair. His dad had his

hand on Buffy's shoulder, silently urging her to let Sam take care of this. She turned and

left when she saw Sam holding Dawn in his lap. John simply gave Sam a look. It was

one Sam was very familiar with. He'd just never had it directed at him before. It was the

look that said take care of your brother, or in this case sister. Sam held Dawn tighter in

response and John left to follow Buffy.

Walking down the street together, Buffy suddenly told John. "I can tell the difference,

you know? Between the memories the monks gave us and what was real. I did this

meditation spell and that's how I found out about Dawn. The only lasting effect is that I

have both sets of memories." She marched on for another block. "Why did they have to

give her that one? Anything would have been better. I was the one sitting at the top of

the stairs. I was the one watching when Mom slapped his face and threw him out of the

house. Aaaaaaah!" She put her fist through a tree.

John was having trouble controlling his own temper. "Do you want the tactical reason or

would you rather help me track the son of a bitch down that did this to our daughter and

break every bone in his body?" John asked with perfect seriousness. Buffy was right.

There was no reason good enough for the monks to have done this to their little girl.

Buffy laughed hollowly and removed her hand from the tree. "You might as well give me

the tactical reason. The monks are all dead. Glory and her minions killed them all."

"Crap. I wanted a chance at them." John shrugged. There was nothing he could do about

it now. "They wanted to make sure that she never went anywhere with him. He can't

protect her. But that is a sick way to do it. They shaded it in her mind to make the

experience the worst possible."

"The real thing was bad enough. They didn't need to make it any worse." Buffy suddenly

turned around and marched back towards her house. "I forgot my axe." Which was what

they had been stopping at the house for in the first place. John nodded. If he couldn't get

the monks, the local vampires would have to do. On the upside, he could kill the

vampires, he would've had to keep himself from killing the monks.

John stopped at his weapons stash in his truck and took out his vampire hunting

equipment; crossbow, machete, rosary, and holy water. His guns were already loaded

with magnesium rounds and he picked out a few more magazine just in case he ran into

something else. Few things could stand one of those in its gut. He should have Sam look

up Hank Summers. He had noticed that Buffy hadn't denied the names Dawn had

remembered him calling her. There had to be something they could ethically do to the

man. All they had to do was look hard enough, and Sam was best at that. There would

be something in his past. A man who could call his only daughter those kind of names,

with a good chance she could hear him without having the enhanced senses of a slayer,

had to have something they could use in his background. He set his weapons in the

middle of the truck's bench seat and waited behind the wheel for Buffy. She was

climbing down the tree that was outside her window. She was taking no chances that

Dawn would see her until Dawn had a chance to calm down. John nodded, Buffy was a

good mother. It didn't matter if he married her or not. She was a part of his family and

the Winchesters took care of their own. Hank Summers would never know what hit him.