A/N: I am drowning in the lake of affirmation from EnpatsuShakugan-Shana and Dorchica whose real names I have to know by now. You should know by now that Harley Cooper is pure writer and has no other identity. It is an alias as well. She is terribly messed up about her personal life and finds solace in writing her angst and deliberate fantasies. She is highly imaginative and does not see writing as a hobby. She worships the craft. She breathes it like oxygen. And she also believes that readers who adore her craft should be given the same kind of love she gives her writing. Harley Cooper blesses those who sees her talent and do not sabotage it with hurtful degradation. She can appreciate kindness very much. She doesn't mind readers getting involved with her personally because she is not outwardly selfish of her craft. She only becomes a vindictive bitch when her craft is called mediocre (which has not yet happened thankfully.)
How do I come up with plots and characters like this? It's because I have a serious dislike for reality. Seriously. I really don't mix well with social things that have something to do with people. I can understand emotions especially if they are expressed by other people and I'm a strong person and I'm not afraid to be in my truest skin. I like observing people because I use them as characters in my story.
To others who review this story (xREWIND, CaptainCarnival, tsukiraven) I make it to a point that all of you will be mentioned since this story is personal and I'm terribly humbled that you think this story is unique as well as my writing style. You can ask me anything that is associated with my craft. I will bring down just one brick from my wall to allow a conversation.
A million thanks to you, dear readers, the reason why my craft was explored fully and relentlessly. Your passion for my works is what drives me to my best artistic merit and with that assistance, I will be forever honored.
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We become intimate with those we don't see ourselves with
But it is rather unusual they see themselves in us
After all that is said and done, we have more things in common
In those simple things you can call someone a friend
--A Cooper Saying--
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Lectures in the restaurant with whipped cream on seafood
He lifted up the menu by the tip of his fingers, the index and the thumb. He tilted his head on the side and eyed it meticulously. Then he placed it down and raised the spoon and fork next. After accomplishing the utensil check, he raised the plate. Fully convinced that new surroundings should be scrutinized, he was now looking under the tablecloth, perhaps wondering if the table is made of wood and what type it might be. As though it still doesn't guarantee him peace of mind, he took the toothpick container and started inspecting each toothpick. I chuckled and leaned closer to him, placing my fingers on his chin to have an eye contact with him. When my finger touched that layer of his skin, I felt captured by an intense, rapturous longing to rip his clothes off and do him. I manage the best self-control imaginable though.
"You're abnormal, L." I whispered to him sweetly and took the toothpicks away from him. He blinked several times then he reached out to finger the button of my blouse. His eyes remained on mine.
"Young lady, you really should mind your own business."
He unbuttoned my collar swiftly, enjoying the slight reaction he caught in my stare. I was immediately aroused by the fact that he was effortlessly arousing me.
I smiled and pulled away, leaning back as comfortably as I could. I shifted my gaze on Nicoline who was sitting there, watching me interact with L with such a carefree stance that it astounded her deeply.
"I ordered the special lobster for tonight," Nicoline remarked politely. "What would Prof. L like to have? They have a set of desserts and pastries here."
L looked at the menu resting on the table and didn't touch it. He stared at Nicoline as she continued to speak, "I'm really glad that you could join us. I know that I have formed the impression that I'm too uptight but to be honest, I'm just careful, you know. Better be sure than sorry!"
I nodded at that and looked at L slightly. His eyes were intently fixed on my shy friend, his front teeth nibbling on his index finger.
"Nicoline?" he said after a long period of silence and introspection. "Do you make it a habit on assuring yourself things that you never really believed in and yet you stick to that because you have nothing else?"
"I don't understand so I couldn't answer your question." Nicoline smiled back amiably. "We're not in a classroom anymore. I think Cheska brought us here for us to be able to converse as just ordinary people."
"Is that what you have hoped for?" L questioned.
"I believe that it is the aim of this conversation."
L shook his head slowly. "The aim of this conversation is to set you free."
"I beg your pardon?"
I cleared my throat and ordered as some champagne. I decided to break the ice, "L thinks that we could let you in our own little world."
"That world being the mental orgasm, right?" Nicoline made another face. "I think I will pass, thank you."
"You pass a lot of good opportunities," L pointed his fork on her. "Another distinguishable bad habit."
"I certainly don't appreciate you deducing my character," Nicoline looked at him firmly. "To be quite frank, I'm not okay with it so please stop and let us enjoy this dinner as humbly as we could."
"Impossible." L took the spoon and pointed it at my friend, smiling slightly.
Nicoline's eyes hardened. "With all due respect, sir, I don't want this conversation to go any channels that will please you. Forgive me for saying this but you're a sadist."
"I forgive you."
I smiled silently to myself as I poured the champagne on my glass. I sipped it and then said to L, "Nic and I are good friends since we were kids in high school. You should take it easy. She doesn't back down."
"She wouldn't have been your close friend if she doesn't have the stomach." L commented and then added, "I want red lobster too, if you don't mind. I will pay my own meal as well as both of yours."
Before Nicoline could object, I nodded in agreement and ordered. Nicoline scolded me with a glance, telling me visibly that she doesn't like how this is going for her. I ignored her intentionally and started talking to L.
"You were too hard on George earlier," I said.
"I was impressed that you chose well on a man you will be engaging in a sexual activity with." L responded. "He is not as dull as I imagined."
"He is a nasty kind of package, believe me." I frowned.
"Then why do you enjoy doing what it is that you do with him during weekends?" Nicoline asked me irritably.
"Francesca likes games," L answered for me.
"Was it worth it?" Nicoline shot a glare at L. "This would be pointless if we talk about her relationship with George now that it is practically non-existent."
We stopped talking when the food was brought. I watched L winced on the sight of the red lobster in front of him as if this is the first time he will eat such a dish and maybe it really is. He looked at it, revolted and said nothing to address the unsatisfactory appearance of his first decent meal. Nicoline and I started to devour ours. L just sat there.
"Francesca?"
"Yes, L?"
He took something from the bag he was always carrying around with him. He showed the bottle to me and I almost choked.
"Whipped cream?" Nicoline inquired. "Are you going to put that on the lobster? That's just not right."
"It's worth a try," L started applying an awful amount of cream on the seafood. Some people eyed us questioningly, murmuring among themselves. When his plate was literally covered in whipped cream, he smiled at it and began eating.
"How appetizing!" I said with a cheery tone.
"You should try it." L smiled at me.
"I think you've put whipped cream on the shell," Nicoline remarked, crinkling her nose. "You should remove the shell first."
"Is that how it is done?" L was embarrassed that it was so cute. "Apologies, I thought you just eat it like it is."
"It's not that easy," Nicoline demonstrated it as she peeled the shell slowly. "There is a system you should follow."
L watched as she showed him. He paid her with keen interest. When she was done, she chewed on the food contentedly.
"It's all about system." My friend repeated.
"Indeed." L nodded. "But I still like chocolates because they're not covered with such a hard exterior. Why waste time when you could enjoy a meal without fuzz?"
"Chocolate is not a meal." Nicoline reminded him. "So are you going to eat the lobster? It is the best lobster in town. It would be a shame if you don't eat it."
"After your display of obsessive-compulsive behavior, I don't see why not."
Nicoline didn't like that OCB comment but she ignored it. I was amused of how L tried doing it himself and yet he couldn't. It must have been because the way he holds thing with two fingers alone. He kept dropping the fork. He spread the whipped cream on the tablecloth already but L was determined to accomplish the difficult process and he wasn't giving up on it. Nicoline smiled, feeling sorry that she was too cruel to hand him such a tiresome task.
"You can have a piece of mine," Nicoline raised her fork with a slice of seafood in it. "And I didn't use utensils. I used my hand to break the shell."
"It's unsanitary." L rolled his eyes as though it was obvious why he didn't do it. "And yes, I would like a piece, please."
When Nicoline was about to put the slice on his plate, he leaned to the direction of the fork instead and took the slice with his own mouth. I stifled a giggle. Nicoline blushed and cleared her throat.
L chewed a little and then swallowed it. "Too salty."
He took an amount of whipped cream on his plate and placed it on his tongue, rubbing it on his taste buds to recover from the sudden change of taste.
"I don't see anything special about that lobster," L remarked. "Too salty. I want coffee now. Waiter?"
As L talked to the waiter, Nicoline leaned and whispered, "What did you see in him? I know he is charming but as a functioning social being in society, I can categorize him among the street punks or the mentally ill group."
"He is charming." I said simply.
L faced us again and wiped a whipped cream on his tongue once more, taking his time washing off the taste of the seafood.
"Do you want to go for a walk after this?" I asked him. "Nicoline has so many things to tell you."
"I do?" Nicoline didn't like the idea.
"Well, hurry up and finish that--thing," L wiped his hands with the napkin and started finishing the whipped cream from the plate. "I have to pay."
"It's a waste to pay on something you didn't enjoy." Nicoline made a face.
"You got away with it all the time," L remarked lazily, licking his fingers dry.
"What the hell does that supposed to mean?"
"Let's finish this, Nic." I restrained her. I don't need her making a scene. Although I don't think she could.
After the dining has been commenced awkwardly, (we spent another thirty minutes watching L finishing the whipped cream he had spread on the lobster) the waiter gave us a queer look when L didn't eat his seafood. Nicoline and I, out of courtesy, decided to finish it before we paid the bill so another thirty minutes was wasted and our stomachs could not longer digest.
"That was weird," Nicoline remarked as we made our way outside. "The whipped cream made the lobster taste awful."
L did not like that so he just frowned moodily.
"I was kind of expecting that L has an allergic reaction to seafood that's why he won't eat it," I sighed, holding L's hand on mine. He looked at that gesture and then blinked in mild amusement. I interlaced our fingers together. Nicoline walked behind us silently.
"Where shall we go next?" L asked us.
"Look up at the sky!" Nicoline exclaimed. "There are so many stars. Why don't we go stargazing?"
"So you're an aspiring astrologer?" L remarked as Nicoline pulled me away from him and we run to the nearest grass park.
As the two of us lay there, L just stood up and watched us without saying a word. We drifted to our own conversation.
"I kind of miss the old days," she said to me.
"What old days?"
"The days when you weren't going out to meet a potential partner."
I laughed. "You could always come, you know."
"I hate dating, you know that." Nicoline scoffed. "It's a colossal waste of money and effort."
"How will you find the one for you if you don't go finding it for yourself?" I asked her.
Nicoline sighed peacefully. "Falling in love isn't everything in the world for me right now. I have goals to finish. You're smart but sometimes you avoid responsibility. Besides, it will happen to me in time."
"That is nonsense." I rolled to my side and gripped a plant with my hand.
"I think you say that because it's the reason why you found him." Nicoline said. "If you didn't go out and find it for yourself then you wouldn't have met him."
I said nothing and closed my eyes.
"Do you love him, Cheska?"
"Now that is something I haven't thought about." I wasn't lying but I am stalling.
I turned around to see that she was also on her side, facing me. She looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Do you think he loves you?"
"I thought falling in love is not the world for you right now."
"It is to you."
"Games are the world for me," I sat up, knees pulled against my chest.
Nicoline called our professor. He finally walked towards us. I didn't look at him or the stars anymore. I listened to what they were talking about.
"You said you wanted to know what I think of sex, right?" Nicoline asked.
"Yes."
"I think it's for reproduction alone," Nicoline answered him truthfully. "And I know that sounds too cold but I don't see it as a source of enjoyment. Maybe there is something wrong with me if I think that but I just don't think people should spend their lives trying to hump each other all the time. There are so many important things in life."
She sat up suddenly and added. "And I don't think that a person who could fill your sexual needs can give you the proper kind of love you need. It's tricky. The only way to know you're wrong about how you feel is when it is too late."
"So it is better not to engage at all." L eyed her carefully. "You don't want to go through all the trouble."
"Yes!" Nicoline raised her arms up the sky. "I know that is what you would call cowardice but don't give me that. We choose our battles. It is up to me and I know that I'm happy with what I've chosen."
L nodded. "Nicoline?"
"Yeah?"
"How do you feel about the way Francesca expresses her freedom?"
"I don't know," Nicoline snorted a chuckle. "I never really thought about it. I guess I kind of wonder how she does it. How do you do it, Cheska?"
"How do I pretend to be happy and crazy all the time?" I shot back sullenly. "It's simple, actually. I just go with the noise."
"Whatever happened to self-control?" Nicoline asked nobody.
"Whatever happened to being young and adventurous?" I asked her directly.
"It's called adulthood." Nicoline pointed a lousy finger at me. "And you don't pretend to be happy. You pretend to be messed-up and loving it when you don't. That makes you crazy."
L sat beside Nicoline and looked at the sky. "It's amazing how you ended up friends."
"We share the same room." I answered him, still eyeing the grass underneath my feet. "We don't have to share the same preferences."
"And I don't get to have sex." Nicoline added amiably. She leaned her head on his shoulder. L didn't mind. He rubbed his palm on her knee. She closed her eyes.
"I am crazy." I whispered, almost to myself. L glanced at me.
"Did you put something on her drink?" he asked me. "I think she has fallen asleep."
"I must have given her a sleeping pill somehow." I answered.
"Why did you do that?"
"You know why."
L sighed as he allowed Nicoline to sleep on his lap. She yawned and rubbed her eyes lazily. I looked at his expression for a while with my friend on his lap.
"She is tired." I told him. "I did her a favor. She hasn't slept for two days now. Her excuse is study. I think she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about the times she hasn't enjoyed herself during college."
"You teenage girls hate yourselves too much." L shook his head. "So many skin-deep insecurities. I could hardly follow the reason why you subject yourselves to such inadequacy if it only makes you feel less of a person."
"It's just environmental, professor." I laughed loud. "You like human behavior."
"I detest human inadequacy."
"How perfectionist of you!" I slumped back on the grass and gazed at the stars. "Do you think we should go back to the university now? Nicoline will catch a cold if she sleeps here."
"I think we should," L got to his feet and slid his arms around Nicoline to lift her up.
"I didn't know you are that strong." I stood up myself and walked beside him. We stayed in comfortable silence the whole time. When we reached our dorm room, I led him inside and helped him tuck Nicoline in her bed. He put a blanket on her as I laid her head on the pillow. She was sleeping in an unaware state of tranquility.
I sat on the floor beside the window. "Do you think I hate myself?"
"I should go," L was headed towards the door.
"Okay." I simply replied as I watched L closed the door. He turned around to walk towards my direction. I waited for him to sit in front of me, his dark eyes piercing through me.
"I think you know the answer." L frowned.
"Do I bore you now?" I asked again.
"I think you blame yourself for making Nicoline inadequate." L replied. "While you're living your life like a party animal, she is trapped in her own fears. But I think you wished you did the same thing she did because you are a coward too."
I smiled. "I do hate myself. I always do and I always had. The difference now is you can tell it when nobody could. They all think I'm great and confident. They all think I can carry myself. But my backbone is breaking. Any minute now, you can give me a gun and I wouldn't have second thoughts shooting myself."
"You are overwhelmed."
"You have to stop knowing everything." I snapped at him.
"I don't like hiding," he looked down. "Hiding scares me. I don't want to be left in the dark. I need to know everything or I won't be in peace."
"There are some things that shouldn't be found or figured out." I muttered. "Though why are we making it complicated?"
"Because it wouldn't be fun if we don't attempt to kill ourselves due to the obstacle at hand." He suggested.
"And it would be boring," I pulled him by neck, wrapping my arms around him. He pressed himself against me, our eyes entwining like twigs.
"I like the way you smile." I whispered against his lips, letting his breath and the beating of his chest coincide with mine.
"I don't like it when you're bored." He responded.
I pushed him off. He didn't care. I crawled away from him, hiding under the bed. It was silly and childish but none of us did care anymore.
He lifted up the covers and looked at me, asking. "What makes you a fool?"
"When you don't realize you are." I answered without missing a beat.
"Can I come in?"
"There is enough space for us." I smiled encouragingly.
He managed to get under the bed himself. We stayed there for a long moment, not speaking to each other but comforted by the fact that we need not explain ourselves for being the way we are.
"I could get used to this." L said as he allowed me to rest my head against his. He placed his arm behind my back and pulled me closer.
"When Nicoline steps down from her bed, let's grab her feet." I suggested.
"And then when she screams, let's drag her here." L added.
After we reached to that unusual agreement, we turned our faces to each other and kissed breathlessly. I moaned softly against his mouth, trying to move my hands through his sticky, untidy hair. We were squirming the whole time, having the inability to move due to our positions. I succeeded in fondling his hair when we decided not to lie in our stomachs anymore but instead face each other. He put his hands on my cheeks and kissed me harder.
I proceeded kissing his chest without lifting his shirt. I tasted the whipped cream he wiped in there when he was cleaning himself before in the restaurant. I went down, my lips tracing the outline of his stomach. Afterwards I was already out of the bed and grabbing his rubber shoes.
"What are you doing now?" he asked me.
"I want to tie your shoes."
"Leave them alone or I'll kick you in the face."
"I have a shoe fetish." I insisted but he got out of the bed as well and pushed me to the floor, placing himself on top of me.
"Why don't you mind your own business, young lady?" he asked me sternly, pinning my wrists down.
He didn't wait for any answer and started kissing me again. When he explored my mouth for the last twenty minutes, he finally took a breath and rolled off me. I stared at the ceiling as he brushed the dust from his jeans.
"You should clean your room," he commented. "If this problem persists, I will be forced to do it with you in the bed while Nicoline is sleeping."
"What happened to the line?"
"It was an expression, dear." L countered back. "I was simply pointing out that the untidiness of this room makes me refuse to have any sex with you if it will not be done in the bed."
"I'm a working student."
"Working is implied here as whoring around during nights, right?"
"If it is with George, whoring is suitable." I sat on his lap, facing him, leaning him firmly on the wall. "If it is with you, I call it Social Studies."
"So George brings out the slut in you." He thought about it, tapping a finger on his chin. "And I bring out the innate desire of yours to be all intelligent?"
"Yes," I smiled sweetly. "Your attitude of being a pompous ass is contagious."
He kissed my nose and then pushed me off him. He stood up and looked down at me, "Have some good night sleep."
"I thought we will scare the living shit out of Nicoline by making her believe that there is a monster in her bed?"
L thought about it for a long moment then he grinned. "I couldn't pass that opportunity. Let's do it, love."
"While pulling her, we should sing."
"I agree," he snapped his fingers. "Perhaps a song by 'The Veronicas' since I watched their concert when I first arrived here."
"I know those twins!" I said. "How about '4ever'?"
"Wasn't that the song playing when we first met?" he asked me curiously.
"It surely fits the mood." I answered back as we positioned ourselves back under the bed.
The first morning rays soon arrived as we hid there under the bed.
"L, I have a question to ask."
"Yes," he answered immediately. "Your breasts look a lot bigger with that tank top."
"Thank you."
We heard the bed creaked when Nicoline moved. We heard her yawn and we tried not to make any more noise as we waited for the right time. She finally put down her feet in the floor and at L's signal, we pulled her down. She started screaming the moment our fingers clutched her.
"Come on, baby, we ain't gonna live forever. Let me show you all the things that we could do. You know you wanna be together. I wanna spend the night with you! Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah. Come on, baby, live! We can make the night last forever, oh, oh."
We didn't manage to pull her in because Nicoline really struggled and fought back. When she was crawling away and leaning on the wall, trying to breathe, we got out under the bed and grinned at her.
"You call yourselves intellectuals!" she hissed.
"Bored intellectuals, my lovely!" I pointed out. "We bored ones could do crazy stuff."
"By making me feel like I am in a horror movie?" she snapped back.
"That is the whole idea basically," L answered quietly. "But the other half of the bargain is just to show how much we adore you flawlessly."
Nicoline glared at us the whole time. L saw no reason to stick around so he stood up and proclaimed, "I have other business to attend to. Being your professor in college is not the reason why I am here in the first place."
"So you do have a double life?" I implied.
"Truth must be told so I must confess." L cleared his throat. "My work is none of your business, Francesca and Nicoline. But the reason why I decided to teach in college is because I need a reason to cover what I really do for a living."
"Who cares?" Nicoline went to the bathroom opposite the bed.
"That's the spirit!" L remarked and then he looked at me. "You're not going to get the information out of me even if you flaunt your cleavage like that."
"At least I tried."
"It's exactly five-fifty-five in the morning, I must bid you now a pleasant au revoir." He walked to the door and twisted the knob, "Till then we best depart."
"See you in class an hour from now." Nicoline called out from the bathroom.
"We have class?" L asked, dumfounded. "I didn't know!"
He rushed out without saying another word.
When Nicoline went out of the bathroom, she approached me and said, "I think L works as an undercover agent for a spy organization or something. A man with his wits and strategies should be some kind of an authority figure somehow."
One could only hope.
"And I think he's diabetic too." Nicoline dropped that comment offhandedly as I sat there, daydreaming about L's real job. Mine includes a sword, a white stallion and a big castle. I snorted a laugh.
Yeah, one could only hope.