Title: Hold On To Big Brother
Ship: None
Fandom: Hanna Montana
Rating: T
Summary: Miley, after a deathly accident and some hateful words, begins to reminisce about her growing relationship with Jackson. Miley can't deal with their separation much longer. When it all seems to fall down and she can't move on, she hears his voice then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through.
Disclaimer: I don't own Disney, Hanna Montana, or their actors that bring the characters to life. I own my words, my story and my thoughts. So if you take them be warned by bite is worse then my bark.
She couldn't stand it not anymore. She sighed and looked at the object. "I hate you." Miley screamed in the silence. "Why? You don't care. Not anymore."
"I need you and where are you? Where are you Jackson?" She screamed as her hands hit an object and her eyes watered as she looked at it. "I know where your not at! Your not here thats where your not at!" She wailed as her hands wiped at her hot tears she had yet to cry. Miley had to put up a front and had to look like she had it all under control. In reality she was falling apart without him.
I hate being Hannah and Miley. I can't take it anymore. You know just the other day I almost walked to school as Hannah. I don't even know myself anymore."
"All the fans don't care what Miley needs. They don't care that your gone. They just want concerts, they want autographs, they want pictures. Dad wants me to be strong and he needs me to help him. Lilly wants me to move on and heal. Oliver wants me to admit that I like him! Everyone looks at me with pity."
"Oh that's Jackson's sister lets go over and give her a pity party." She mimicked the whispers of the town people. "Oh that's the girl that won't let her brother go. She's a poor lost soul. They all say you were a good student, you weren't. You were such a studius young man and you never studied a day in your life. Even Miss Hackle, you remember you crashed her car into her hideous christmas decorations. She was all your such a young sweet boy never did her any harm. That liar!"
"They all lie! All of them and they know it! The hypocrites!" She slammed her fists again directly on the object. "Stupid Hannah won another award and I couldn't even say that it was for you .Because Hannah doesn't have a brother that's ..."
"I hate you!" Her tears were coming down rapidly now as she threw herself down. "Why aren't you here? Why did you leave? You can't leave me alone."
"Oliver he's pushing my buttons. He has a 'girlfriend' now just to taunt me. Because he's pissed because I didn't take his stupid promise ring seriously. How was I supposed to know at sixteen that he's the love of my life. Gosh!" Her hands flung in the air childishly as she looked at him. "Oh yeah I turned sixteen a month of ago and you didnt even care! No everyone was still focused on you and that's because your supposedly not even here anymore!"
"Would you make up your mind Jackson!" She screamed as she sat up finally and looked at him. "Either your here or there! I can't take this anymore. I hate feeling so damn guilty because your here and I'm out there trying to live. Trying to smile and laugh and then I remember you! I hate feeling that sometimes it would be best if you just go . . go in peace and then I hate myself. Then I feel guilty and I sleep in your bed crying."
"Damn it Jackson I can't take this anymore! I can't live anymore. I'm tired of it all. I can't fight anymore. I'm done. I'm too weak to deal with this"
"Hey Miles." It was him just a few days before the accident. She looked at the television set. "Happy sixteenth birthday baby girl. Sorry it'll be the first one without me." He was sitting on a wooden stool in what seemed to be their old house. "I miss you to death or at least I know I will." The guitar she had brought him was over his chest. She wiped at the tears in her eyes and sighed. "I finished your song. I know it took me sixteen years to make it but the best things are worth waiting for Miles. He tapped his feet on the bottom leg of the stool and began to strum the guitar as pictures of them came on.
Miles you have many miles to travel
But little light of mine you will shine
Shine far away from mine
Off to sleep little one
Off to sleep with you little one
For tomorrow you will shine
And I'll be there
Don't be frightened and if you think you can't
Then just hold on to big brother
I'll show you the way
One day you will be so bright, so precious,
Your love will reach places far off
Your song will play in hearts of strangers
Your light will always shine
You'll lose sight and it won't smile everyday
We've lost a star
And we lost our innocence
We lost our shine
But little one I'll be here to hold you
Miles you have many miles to travel
But little light of mine you will shine
Shine far away from mine
Off to sleep little one
Off to sleep with you little one
For tomorrow you will shine
And I'll be there
Don't be frightened and if you think you can't
Then just hold on to big brother
I'll show you the way
Don't let go
Fall and stumble many times
For that's the way to learn
Your star will shine
You are my light and soul
Daddy's little girl and my precious Miley
The world is filled with obstacles and challenges
But you will shine
Your heart will find truth
Your soul will find existence
One day daddy will give your hand
And you'll be someone's love
But no matter we still shine
And your light no matter how far
Will always be joined with mine
So when your done ,when you think you can't
When it all bears too much for you
When you can't sacrifice no more
Don't let your shine fall
Don't stop smiling and just hold on to my hand
For I will pull you through
They had all showed up. Robby looked at his family whom could only give support. They talked in hush whispers as they hugged him and gave him support. His younger daughter had not seen any of them. For ever since no one existed but him. The song, his voice awoke her. Robby wiped at his eyes and adjusted his sunglasses.
"She'll pull through." The voice of Lilly Truscott made it's vocal appearance. "Mr. Stewart its just too much like this."
"Mr. Stewart have you made your decision? Really there's not much hope now. He's taken too long and who knows . .. "
"Who knows." Robby muttered. "But that's my son. A half of me and his mother. A half of my soul is in that child."
"Is it fair to torture all of you this way?" A female voice said trying to reason. "I mean he can't be having a great time being between life and death. It's only right."
"It's not your choice and god forbid you be in my shoes Mrs. Oken."
"Even if he wakes we don't know if he'll be able to walk. What state will he be in?"
"At least he has the chance. At least he has life." Robby stated with a bite of his lip. "It's our right to give him the choice to live. The chance . . . "
"In ridicule, in dependence always of someone else. Does he want that? "
"I don't know what he wants." The tears came down his face as he looked at loved one's faces. They had remained quiet and only hugged him and he knew in their looks that they did not share the others opinions. That only he had the choice and they would always be his support.
"Won't you decide for yourself? Why can't you just . . ."Her hand grasped over her lips. "I didn't mean it Jackson . . please don't."
"Did you know I'm failing classes but I figured out a way for daddy not to know. I've practically dropped out and then there's Hannah. Her sales are suffering, I've created her to be a monster diva. Worse then Jennifer Lopez herself. I hate Hannah. I hate her so perfect life."
"It doesn't matter. Not anymore and I don't care if the world finds out who I am." She had calmed down and her red eyes looked at the object on the small bed. "Nothing matters anymore without you."
"I dream of you and her together. It's not fair that you get to see her again. I miss her so much Jackson." She sat on the bed and ran her hands through something blonde. "I envy you right now. You stuck here with no worries at all. You don't face the ugliness of this world. It's harsh and ugly. They all look at you with those eyes and some don't even look anymore. Everyone talking like they know . .like they feel . . .like they have a right. But none of them know jack shit about what's going on."
"I don't know anything anymore. I'm lost Jackson and I don't know what to do anymore." She finally fell beside him and cried, all that she hadn't cried, next to his cold body. "I can't do this alone." She curled into the fetal position and began trembling. "I'm scared of letting you go and of holding you back. I can't do this Jackson." Miley thought it a trick of the mind when she felt his hand intertwine with hers and the words were so low and light. Miley thought she had just heard it in her mind.
"Then just hold on to big brother and I'll pull you through."