NOTHING PHYSICALLY SPOKEN
Spencer:
I desperately wish I could decode her thoughts and meanings
the mood of today is described in two words: selfish and empty
emotional turmoil amongst the acquaintances as a break up of an artificial love
bursts the seams, it was rightfully justice for they both used each other for various things
love and acceptance not being one of them
her answer breaks my thoughts and exposes what is missing
in my reality, I live in a wonderland
where pills are the only solution to permanent help
yeah, I've had that boiling in my thoughts, worn deary on my sleeve..
it's not that I don't relate... but my mother could.
This feeling leaving me uncomfortable and nauseous in my own skin
scrolling the word: WANTED with a razor blade on my ribcage
purging up contents of daily meals purposely in the toilet,
too many calories and too much guilt
I self-isolate myself, fragile in the bathtub alone
bloody fingerprint stains the page..
this will kill me, how I want it to be true..only you
Ashley:
Sealed in a newspaper comic envelope with a blood-stained heart
as enclosure, signed and delivered
sickening and twisted in youth
Life is beautifully reckless, we are all vulnerable
put on a mask and triumph the tragedies of the show
I'm too numb to feel right now..
in a daydream she holds my hand in comfort and fear
Spencer:
I quickly sting myself with quick reaction as I let the open wound
touch the hot water and soap of jasmine and lavender
I came into the face of reality in a pair of yoga pants and a dirty beater tank top
opening the mailbox to find this message, written on a cd
excitement and lust fill me
as the cd plays in the background
...happiness exists in a low light so dim that hunger cannot satisfy me
I realize that I miss her and have mistaken her beauty
I promise it'll be just tonight