Chapter 6: Do These Smell Bad?

The next few weeks were wonderfully normal. Well, normal for Hogwarts. I'd had to reprimand two Hufflepuff boys for trying to sneak into the Ravenclaw Common Room to do some prank that involved some of George's products, Carrick and Ruby weren't speaking again, I'd fought off a cold for a few days but eventually succumbed and Nonky went overboard on taking care of me the one day that I actually spent in bed. Classes, though, were going well. I'd almost forgotten about all of the craziness of playing Auror with Harry when I received a letter one morning from Draco Malfoy, asking if I could meet him at his house on Saturday. I knew that Titus wouldn't mind, that all I had to say was that it was "Auror stuff" and he'd acquiesce, but I really wasn't looking forward to it. I was looking forward to talking with Draco, but the fact that I had a meeting with him meant that I was going to get sucked back into all of the crap yet again.

I went off on my rounds the Friday before my meeting with Draco, and to be honest I really wasn't paying much attention. Since I couldn't do lumos with my wand I went down the halls with my flashlight, or torch as I was always reminded by my Muggleborn students, and halfheartedly flicked the beam of light back and forth. As I was coming around a corner I heard quiet voices; it was much too late to be out in the halls, and whoever was out and about was going to be in trouble. Before I could say anything I heard a bit of the conversation and stopped.

"My mum would go mental, Petey. We have to wait until school is over."

Franny Ellsworth, and she was obviously talking to Peter Sawgrass. She calls him Petey? I didn't really need to know that.

"I know, Fran, but I don't want to wait. I'm of age now, and you will be before the Christmas holiday. We could do it then."

Oh shit. I had a feeling I knew what they were talking about. I started walking again, and made sure to shine my light around the corner. "Mr. Sawgrass, Miss Ellsworth? You do realize that…"

"I'm sorry, Professor. We won't do it again." Peter looked at me and I noticed he was holding Franny's hand.

I looked at the two of them. What to do? "Um, well ok. Get back to your houses. And if anyone catches you out again I'll put you in detention until…get out of here." They started walking in opposite directions and I couldn't help myself. "Mr. Sawgrass? A moment, please?"

Peter and Franny looked at each other for a moment, and then Peter walked over to me. "Yes, Professor?"

"Peter, I'm not going to lie, I overheard some of what you and Franny were talking about. Now, hold on, before you say anything, I'm not going to tell you what you can and cannot do. You're my student; I'm not your father. I know you're of age and Franny will be soon, so what you do is your own business. But I highly recommend finishing out the year before you do anything. Will you promise me that?"

Peter looked down at his shoes. "Um, I can't really…"

"You're right. That's not fair. Just realize, though, that even if that happened nothing would change at Hogwarts. We don't have married housing. You would both have to live in your houses. Don't you want your family there when you get married?"

Peter's face looked up at me and I could tell that I had said exactly the wrong thing. "My family?" The word 'family' came out almost as a curse. "My family is a bad joke, Professor. Mum's been dead for years, and Dad doesn't talk to me much except to say that I should date a pureblood. No mudblood daughter-in-law for him. When he sobers up he's a little better, but that never really happens."

Shit. "I'm sorry, Peter, I didn't know."

"I know you care, Professor Muggle, but you don't know everything. Do you know why I did so well on the unit about Muggles taking over wizarding land? Do you? It's because my family lost a lot of land and money. Dad's sold off what he could to keep the house, and I'm pretty sure he's drank what money we have left. I need to get back that land so Franny and I can have something. And I'm not inviting him, we're…"

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Peter, I'm sorry. Listen, I'm meeting with Draco Malfoy tomorrow and he knows more about the subject than anyone I know. If you want I can ask for his help. I'll have to say who it's for, obviously, but that will stay between us. Just drop off any details in the morning, send it by owl." I took a look at him and made the offer before I could even think what Melody would say. "Peter, if you don't want to go home for the holidays, I might be able to help you out. Don't answer yet, but think about it, ok?"

He nodded and walked off towards Slytherin house. I leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths. The meeting with Draco was shaping up to be very interesting.

Saturday morning at breakfast I did receive an owl from Sawgrass, but I made no indication that it was from him; I didn't look at him, I just put the note in my pocket. Neville gave me a bit of a hard time about being so quiet, but I just said I had a meeting outside of Hogwarts and he left it at that. I was happy to not have to discuss it any further, and after making my way to Titus' office I spoke with him briefly and used the Floo.

Arriving via Floo to Malfoy Manor was, um, weird. I expected to arrive in the nice drawing room, sitting room, lounge or whatever you call it, but instead I ended up in a dark, cobweb-filled room. At least the sun was out, so some light filtered in through the dark, heavy drapes, and I made my way out in to the hallway which carried the same sense of overpowering gloom as the room. I tried to remember my last visit in the Manor, how to make my way back to the "new wing" but after a good fifteen minutes I realized I was hopelessly lost. Fuck. Not knowing what else to do I made my way towards a large staircase, sat down and looked down another gloomy hallway.

"Hello? Is anybody home? Draco? Anybody?"

Nobody answered me. Sonovabitch. I looked at my watch and realized that I was a half-hour late for my meeting with Draco.

The sudden pop of Apparition startled me, and soon the grumpy visage of an ancient house elf looked at me. An ancient house elf wearing an old Slytherin jumper. Shit, I should have thought about that earlier, if I could only remember…

"How can Blink serve Master Malfoy's guest?"

Blink, that was it. The little blighter that burned my clothes when I was hiding out at Malfoy Manor years ago. "Blink, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. I'm supposed to have a meeting with your master, but the Floo put me someplace weird. Can you take me to him?"

The old house elf nodded, and I followed him through a maze of gloomy hallways until we finally reached the new wing. He opened the door, and I saw Astoria sitting on the floor playing with Scorpius. Hearing the door open she looked up at me and smiled.

"Professor Boyd, how good to see you again."

Before she could say another word Scorpius tottered towards his mother, lost his balance and landed on his butt, causing him to erupt into a very loud squall. Astoria picked him up, patted his back and stood up. "It's almost nap time. Draco is in the library." Noticing Blink standing several steps behind me her face changed expression quickly. "Oh, the Floo! I'm so sorry; our normal one has been having difficulties. Where did you arrive?"

"Um..." I looked back towards Blink.

"Professor Muggle arrived in Mistress Narcissa's study."

"I am so sorry, Professor. Please accept my apologies." Astoria had finally calmed Scorpius down, which enabled us to talk in normal tones.

"He's getting big, isn't he?" I looked at Scorpius, and even though I knew all of the things that had happened, it made me sad to think that Draco would never visit him at Hogwarts.

"Yes, and I think we'll get an early start on that nap."

Astoria left the room and I took a deep breath. For some reason I was nervous seeing Draco this time; I assumed it had to be the conversation I'd had with Harry when I was playing Auror.

Draco was reading at his desk when I entered the library, looked at the clock and smirked at me.

"The Floo put me in your mother's study."

The smirk changed instantly to an expression of embarrassment. "The Floo! I'm so sorry. Please, have a seat. Tea?"

"Actually I could use something a bit stronger." Definitely stronger than tea after being lost in the old part of Malfoy Manor.

Draco waved his wand and a bottle came over to the desk. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a bit of spiked coffee, then." Blink appeared before even being summoned, and shortly we both had our substantially improved coffees. "Now then, Professor, I have some developments concerning my research. The situation in Ireland during the Muggle war mirrored Britain's predicament; what to do with land that the Muggles were encroaching upon due to their combatants' weapons? Land was ceded to the Muggles, sometimes with documentation, sometimes without. We are lucky that the parcel in question was documented. The documentation, however, still poses interesting questions."

"Like what?" I took a sip of coffee and sighed contentedly at the small sting of the whiskey.

"Before the last wizarding owner ceded the land to the Muggles the property changed hands many, many times. The trail was hard to track down, as even wizarding records were not the best kept when going that far back into the register, but I think I have discovered the reason why. All of the wizarding owners were married women, and they married Muggles."

Muggles? "So let me get this straight, the land passed down or was sold to witches who had married Muggles?"

"Yes. Quite unusual." Draco sat back and crossed his legs. "Even more unusual was the maiden name of the earliest owner on record, Charlotte Pénitence. That name does not appear on any documentation other than the legal documents for the land and a marriage record to Labraid Quinn. While the groom is obviously Irish, the bride, and the linchpin of our research, is French. My communication with the French Ministry has revealed that, according to them, a witch with that name never existed. The daughter of the two, however, attended Beauxbatons, as did most of the daughters until the early 1900's when the daughters attended Hogwarts. The direct line ceases, though, during the time period of a first Muggle war, one that you did not cover in your textbook in as much depth."

"So this Charlotte appeared out of thin air one day? That's weird. I know from working with Molly Weasley on my genealogy book that the wizarding world usually keeps really good records of births."

Draco kept silent for a moment and then nodded. "That is true. Due to the small population of magical people in comparison to the Muggle population, we do tend to keep very detailed records. Partially to ensure secrecy, but also due to blood status." Draco sighed loudly. "You must remember blood status has been very important up until the most recent…changes in wizarding society. Not all felt that way, but, unfortunately it was not uncommon."

Something was sticking in my head, rolling around and not quite coming to the surface. It was like trying to remember what color shoes your first grade teacher wore on the third day of classes. I took a look at Draco, and he was giving me a rather odd look. Before I could ask him why he was giving me a weird look Blink popped into the room.

"Does Master Malfoy require anything? More coffee?"

Draco shook his head. "No, Blink we are fine. Thank you."

Blink bowed his old, gnarled head very low. "It is a pleasure to serve the noble house of Malfoy."

Sonofabitch. "That's it!"

Blink, who was frightened by my outburst Apparated away instantly. Draco leaned forward intently.

"Yes, Professor? What is it?"

"When did Charlotte Pénitence arrive in Ireland?" Holy shit, if I was right, this was huge. "When?"

Draco moved several books and pulled a folder out from underneath. He flipped through the pages in the folder until he found what he was looking for. "The first date we have on Charlotte Pénitence is 1785."

No fucking way. "Draco, I know my French is horrible, but her last name, it means penitence in English, correct? If that's right, I think I know why you can't find any record of her. She changed her name. Draco, I think I saw a portrait of her in New Orleans at a magical hotel. Her name used to be Malfoy, but spelled with an 'I' instead of a 'y' like you do. She left America because the Malfoi's were, um, sorry, but they were horrible to Muggles."

I spent the next half-hour or so recounting my experiences in New Orleans, how Melody and I arrived at the Bon Charme, describing the portrait and retelling Draco the story of Aunt Charlotte. The entire time that I was telling Draco the story his attention never wavered, and he made notes on a small piece of parchment on his desk. Finally I sat back and laughed.

"Professor, are you…"

"I'm fine, Draco. Really. It's just…I mean, shit. Talk about coincidence."

"Fate has a way of playing with us all. If your precious car had not been stolen, who knows what might have happened? Based on your tale of what may be distant ancestors or relations of mine, it is doubtful that the inheritance of Aunt Charlotte would not cause considerable animosity amongst the family. Perhaps we now know why your book was at the site of the house. As you know from countless sources, as well as your own experiences with my father, the Malfoy family has always stressed the importance of pureblood marriages and interactions. If someone traced their lineage to the house in Ireland, discovering how each successive generation of women married Muggles…"

He gestured with his hands, and I knew exactly what he meant. "Then they would have wanted to destroy everything."

For the next hour or so I tried to give Draco background on the wizarding community in New Orleans, but it wasn't much since my experience there was very limited. I told him as much as I could about American history, especially about how the Creole culture was, in some ways, much more socially advanced than the rest of America at the time, since color and culture distinctions were blurred somewhat. He shook his head when I described how discrimination and worse things took place based on race; he understood the divisions regarding wizards and Muggles, but discrimination based solely on race was hard for him to comprehend. After a while, though, he stopped and seemed lost in thought, so I didn't say much.

"Professor, I may need to do some further investigation, personally at the source. As I am unfamiliar with the UMS, and specifically the New Orleans area that you have described, it may be prudent for you to accompany me on the visit. I will need time to prepare, obviously, but be aware that I may require your services."

Another trip to New Orleans? How much school was I going to miss this year? "Um, ok, when…I mean, I've missed some of the term this year already, and Melody and I had talked about spending some time together and…"

"Professor, if we do make the journey, and it is only a possibility at this time, I believe we should take our spouses. I do not want to be away from my family if at all possible."

Wow. That was going to be a fun conversation with Melody. "Ok, ok. Just let me know as far in advance as possible. I need to make sure everything's ready for my students if I'm gone." Students, that reminded me. "Um, Draco, before I go, I need a favor."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"One of my students, Peter Sawgrass, he's trying to reclaim some land that Muggles took over during World War 2. Do you think you could take a look?" I put the note I'd received from Sawgrass on his desk. "I mean, I know you're going to be really busy now looking for Aunt Charlotte and all of that stuff, but could you look, as a favor? He's a good kid, he's a seventh year, and…"

Draco held up his hand. "I know the family somewhat, as well as their current…yes, Professor, tell Mr. Sawgrass that I will do what I can."

I didn't have much time to dwell on my conversation with Draco as it seemed like the minute I got back to Hogwarts I was thrown directly into work. Headmaster Titus stopped by my room and informed me that one of my first year students was in trouble for pulling a prank on a Ravenclaw girl, so I had to go and have a talk with him. Apparently George Weasley's pipeline of illegal Wheezes was still alive and strong as a Ton Tongue Toffee was slipped into a bunch of sweets that the girl received from an "unknown admirer." How they tracked it to him I'm not sure, but after dismissing the boy, and informing him that he was serving his detention with me, I spent the rest of the day trying to come up with an appropriate punishment while talking to Neville.

After making the boy organize and re-shelve all of my Muggle literature books for a couple of hours I figured that was sufficient punishment, especially as I put on an album by The Shaggs on my WUMP with the speaker thing George was selling, so after he left I sat down and wrote Melody about my meeting with Draco. Had to turn off The Shaggs first, though; only so much of a "so horrible they're wonderful" band one man can take. I didn't let on in my letter that there was a possibility we'd be taking a working holiday to New Orleans with the Malfoys, though. I knew better than to drop that little bomb in a manner other than face to face.

The rest of the week went well, but my classes were slightly unruly, as the first Quidditch match of the year was that Saturday. Gryffindor was taking on Slytherin, the Red Sox versus Yankees of Hogwarts, and the match was always one of the best attended events amongst Hogwarts alumni. I did receive an odd letter from Melody, though; she let me know that she'd be attending the match. Usually she only came out for the Hufflepuff matches, and she didn't say why she was attending, but I chalked it up as an opportunity for us to visit about my letter and for her to see Lavinia. Either that or she just wanted to get out of the house, as it seemed like she was writing a lot more for Witch Weekly than her usual column and was working from home most of the time. There was even a hint in her last letter of a promotion, so I guessed that she wanted to talk about that face to face instead of via owl.

The Saturday morning of the Slytherin versus Gryffindor Quidditch match turned out to be a very bright, but cold and windy day. While having breakfast with Neville he gave me a very good suggestion; why not sit in the stands for the other houses? Instead of sitting in the "thank you very much we're not cheering for either side" section I could sit in the stands for Gryffindor this match, on the Slytherin side in another match, and then the Ravenclaw side for another match whenever Hufflepuff wasn't playing. Of course he suggested sitting on the Gryffindor side for that match, which I teased him about, but all in all it was a good plan.

After breakfast I told Neville I'd find him in the stands later on and retired to my office, figuring Melody would meet me there and we'd walk to the pitch together. As the clock kept moving, and Melody hadn't arrived, I started to get nervous. I paced around the room a bit, wondering what could keep her when I heard a knock on the door. After hurrying over to open it I saw Lavinia and Willy in front of me.

"Hey, oh. Sorry. I thought you might be Melody."

Lavinia shrugged. "Sorry, but she sent us up to get you. She's downstairs talking to Mrs. Potter right now. Is it true that you're going to sit on the Gryffindor side?"

What? How the hell did she know? "Um, yeah. I'm going to sit on the sides of the different houses when Hufflepuff isn't playing. How did you find out?"

"We heard Professor Longbottom talking to Headmaster Titus. The Headmaster thinks it's a good idea." Willy stuck his hands in his pockets. "We're not going to sit there, though."

I left the door open, went over to find my coat and Molly Weasley scarf, and then exited my room. "Ok, come on, you two. Let's go see why Melody kept me waiting."

Sure enough, Melody was talking to Ginny, and when they both saw me Ginny put her hand on Melody's arm and said something in a quiet voice that I couldn't hear. When I got down to the both of them Ginny gave me a hug, and very strangely, a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Nice to see you too, Ginny. What was that for?"

"Oh, nothing. Just glad to see you, Hank."

"Well, you'll get to see plenty of me, we're sitting on the Gryffindor side today." I looked over to Melody, and couldn't read her mood. "Hi honey, good to see you again. I get a kiss from Ginny but not from you?"

"Sorry, Hank." She leaned up and gave me a quick kiss. "Um, we'd better go find our seats."

As we walked out to the pitch with Ginny something was off with Melody. She didn't seem like her usual self. She didn't tease me or ask me any questions about my visit with Draco. Something wasn't right. "Mel, are you sick?"

Ginny laughed. "You mean is she ill? I don't think you meant to ask her if she's vomit."

I waved a hand at Ginny dismissively. "Whatever, Ginny. You know what I meant."

Melody just shook her head, and we continued our walk to the pitch. When we got to the entrance Ruby and Carrick were standing together, looking at something that I couldn't make out.

"Something interesting?" Besides the fact that you two are talking again? I couldn't keep up with their relationship status.

Ruby looked up happily. "Yes, it's my birthday present from Carrick! He got me a camera. Oh, can I take a picture of the two of you?"

Why not? "Sure, Ruby. C'mere, Mel." I put my arm around Melody, Ruby snapped a picture and the flash almost blinded me. Melody didn't seem too enthusiastic about the picture, but I didn't think much about it. "So, are you two sitting on the Gryffindor side today?"

Carrick nodded. "We're trading off whenever our houses aren't playing each other."

I nodded. "Good idea. We're kind of doing the same thing."

Ruby continued telling us about her birthday presents from Carrick, which made him turn a slight shade of red. It was while we were talking to the couple that Ron Weasley walked up to us, and after a little pleasant conversation he decided to join our little Quidditch party. Eventually when we found our seats it was almost as if it was a dinner party at Colony House, as Neville, Hannah, George and Angelina had joined us. Ron brought out a large sack which contained sandwiches and crisps, and he offered the extras up to anyone who was interested. Melody shook her head vehemently, again something odd as she usually never turned down crisps.

I opened my bag of crisps and sat the ham sandwich down on my lap. "So Ron, how'd you get off work for the match?"

Ron started to answer with his mouth half full until his sister elbowed him, and after he finally finished chewing he smiled. "Part of my Auror contract. I never have to work when Gryffindor plays unless it's an emergency or something big. What's the point of winning an Order of Merlin if you can't use it, eh?"

"Only you, Ronnie." George shook his head. "If you would have stayed with the shop you wouldn't have to worry about that. Set your own schedule and all, but no, you left me in the lurch and decided to be an Auror."

Ron smacked George on the head, as George was sitting below him in the stands. "That was years ago, you git. You've done quite well, so quit whingeing."

I felt Melody elbow me, so I turned to her. "What?"

She had her eyes closed and sighed. She leaned close and whispered "What kind of crisps are you eating?"

"Cheese and onion. Why?"

She shook her head. "They smell horrible. Please stop eating them."

"But I like cheese and onion. What's wrong?"

Ron leaned over towards me. "What's the problem?"

"Mel says the smell of the crisps is awful. Do these smell bad to you?" I held up the bag and Ron sniffed them.

"Nah, smell just like they always do." He laughed and licked a spot of mustard off of his fingers. "You know when Hermione was pregnant with Rosie she couldn't stand the smell of mustard. Made sandwiches pretty horrible for a while, not having mustard." Suddenly Ron leaned across me and tapped Melody on her leg. "Must be pregnant. Triplets, right? Name one after me."

Ron was instantly smacked on the head by Ginny. "Ron Weasley!" Ginny's voice was angry. "You are a prat."

Wait a second. "Uh, Mel?" The announcer's voice rang across the pitch, as the Snitch had been released and the match was on. The voices of the crowd were loud, cheering on the action on the pitch, but I kept looking at Melody. "Melody?"

She grabbed my bag of crisps, threw them down and nodded. "Yes. Yes, Hank, I'm pregnant. I was going to tell you after the match." She leaned over and gave Ron a withering look. "I was going to tell you when it was just the two of us, but someone had to go and ruin it."

Ron, judging by his expression, was completely shocked. "Hey, I was just taking the mickey. How was I supposed to know?" Ron leaned away from Melody and looked to his sister, who just shook her head.

Holy crap. I sat there for a moment, not knowing what to do or say. I was brought out of my shock by the flash of a camera, and I looked down to see Ruby laughing.

"Professor Muggle, your face!"

"Hank?" Melody's voice was soft. "Hank, please tell me what you're thinking."

What was I thinking? About a million things at once but my brain couldn't process everything which rendered me unable to speak. Since I couldn't say a word I did the next best thing; I pulled Melody close and gave her one of the biggest kisses of my life.

Once again the flash of a camera got my attention, and I leaned down a row towards Ruby and Carrick. "You will give me copies of those, right?"

We were deluged with congratulations from our friends in the stands. Ron was sort of subdued, and I told him that Melody might forgive him but she'd tease him about it for years. I was shuffled off to another seat while Hannah, Ginny and Angelina crowded around Melody, and while she looked sort of happy I could tell that my wife really wanted everybody to get out of her face and just talk to me. George and Ron, however, were predictably horrible, telling me that my days of "fun with the Mrs." were over, that I had better start sleeping now and that it was too bad that I couldn't do magic for crap because there were several spells to make nappies less nasty smelling. Luckily the Gryffindor seeker caught the Snitch and the match was over. Before I could say anything Ruby shot out of the stands, Carrick holding her hand for dear life as she hurtled down the steps. Finally I was able to get over to Melody.

"So, Mrs. Boyd, how are you feeling? And, um, when…"

She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm feeling fine, well, there was one thing but it wasn't bad until you started eating those crisps. Um, it was after you came back from playing Auror."

I smiled. That was a very good homecoming. "Mel, love, do you have anything planned for the rest of the day? Feel like hanging out with me? Wait, does your Mom know?"

"Yes, Hank, I planned on staying today, and no, Mum doesn't know. Ginny was the first person I told, because when I saw her the smell of her shampoo…ugh." Melody pulled her coat closer to her throat. "And I'm cold. Let's go back now."

"Do what the pregnant one says." George had poked his head around my shoulder. "Trust me, I learned the hard way."

"That's because you were a git then and you're being one now." Angelina grabbed his ear, and George made a big show of being abused. "Leave them alone, George. Now come on, we need to go to The Burrow and get Freddie and you're taking care of him the rest of the day."

As we started down the stairs I realized something. "Oh shit, Mel. Lavinia. I'm sure Ruby's told her. We need to find her."

Melody stopped on the stairs and I looked back at her. "Merlin! I'm going to, oh, Hermione is going to hear about this."

It was obvious that Ruby, surprisingly, had kept the big news to herself, as when we walked back nobody said a thing to indicate they knew. I said hello to a few students, a few of the Muggle Studies students said hello to Melody, but for the most part it was just a quick walk back to the castle. As soon as we got inside and made it to my room I picked her up, kissed her, and sat her on my bed.

"Well I'm happy as hell. What about you?"

Melody took off her glasses and put them on the pillow. "At first I was scared, then I was really angry with you, and then I started crying but Spit kept licking my toes, and I don't care how upset you are a puppy licking your toes takes care of that, and then I realized that you're not getting any younger, and we're at a good spot right now with our jobs and that I can still work from home and take care of the baby, but then I thought about all of your worries that the baby would have your magical abilities but I remembered what Hermione told me when Rosie was born, and I remembered how you looked when you held Albus after he was born, and how good you are with him and all of the other little ones, and…"

"Good God, Mel, take a breath! You'll pass out." I sat down on the bed and put my hand on hers. "Yes, I was worried about the magic thing, but I'm not now. Really I don't give a shit, it's our baby. As long as it has ten fingers and ten toes and is healthy I don't care."

Melody went to say something but a knock on the door stopped her. I went over and opened the door, somewhat surprised at who stood outside.

"Ruby said you wanted to see me, Professor? Oh, Melody's still here?"

As usual Lavinia came into the room while I was still holding the door, standard operating procedure whenever Melody visited me at Hogwarts. She climbed into my desk chair and spun it around a bit until I shook my head at her, so she stopped and gave me the usual grin. I sat down next to Melody on the bed and looked over to Mel, but she just raised her eyebrows as if to say "well, get on with it."

I cleared my throat. "Um, Lavinia, Melody and I have some news. Before I say anything I just want you to know that this won't change anything. Well, ah. Melody's pregnant, we're…"

I didn't get the rest of it out, as Lavinia was off her chair and hugged Melody, then me, and then Melody again. I laughed and looked at Mel, and she had a big smile on her face.

"Oh wow, wow, wow, this is..I finally get to be your nanny!" Lavinia was sitting on the bed beside Melody, but she was bouncing. "I wondered why Ruby seemed so anxious for me to come up here. She wouldn't tell me why, either." Lavinia's face fell. "How did she know?"

Melody gave a disgusted sigh and I quickly looked over to Lavinia. "It was an accident. Ron Weasley said some things and guessed it; Ruby and Carrick were sitting below us in the Gryffindor stands."

"I wanted to tell you right after I told Hank, but Mr. Foot-in-Mouth Weasley botched that. We're sorry, Lavinia. You should have been one of the very first people to tell." Melody looked over to me, and I nodded. "But if you like you can be the one to make the announcement here at school."

"Oh my Godric, I wonder who won the pool?" Lavinia bounced up. "I need to go find Poesy. I'm so happy for you!" She hurriedly left the room and Melody gave me a sharp look.

"Pool?"

I held up my hands to express my innocence. "I have no idea whatsoever."

Another knock was heard on the door, and I laughed. "You should probably charm this into a revolving door for the next few hours." When I opened the door Headmaster Titus stood there, beaming. He grabbed my hand and began pumping it up and down enthusiastically.

"Congratulations! Oh, very, very good news." He looked around the corner and Melody waved at him. Gavin dropped my hand and went over to Melody, kissing her on her cheek. "I am so happy for the two of you. Neville ran into me and, well, he couldn't contain the news. Now, since this is a very big day I think you should do what you need to here and then spend the rest of the weekend at home. Don't try protesting, I won't take no for an answer. Professor Farnsworth and I will manage the Hufflepuffs; don't worry about that at all. Now the only question I have is whether you'd like to make an announcement to the students, or…"

Melody laughed and held up her hand. "Thank you, Gavin, but I think Lavinia will take care of that."

He laughed. "Oh, I have no doubt about that." He cocked his head and looked at me. "Have you told your families?"

Mel shook her head. "No, we probably should go see Mum."

"What are you two waiting for?" Gavin shook his head. "By all means, go tell her! Trust me, I know when I…that's a story for another night, then. Right, you two. Hank, I'll see you on Monday morning, not a moment before that. Congratulations again, very good news!"

As Titus left the room I put my arm around Melody. "Well, love, ready to go see your Mum?"

"Let's go. Should be interesting to see if she thinks she's ready to be a grandmother or not." She looked up at me. "Think you're ready to be a father?"

I stood up and pulled her off of the bed. "I think that ship's already sailed, Mommy."

She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. "Definitely not. I will be Mummy. You will be the idiot who still can't remember to can't pick up his clothes."

As usual we arrived via Apparition outside of Forthingsgate, Melody's childhood home. I chalk it up to the fact that, regardless of how much she's warmed to me and softened, Lane Bramble simply does not approve of people showing up unexpectedly in her house, even if it is her daughter and her son-in-law. One doesn't simply do those types of things to Lane. As usual Lane's big mastiffs meet us at the end of the path down to the house, barking as if we were intent on burning down the house.

Melody shook her head, looked at me and rolled her eyes. "Go on, I know how much you love it."

She was right, as it's one of the best parts of visiting my mother-in-law. I held up my hand towards the approaching dogs and, in my best stereotypical English bobby voice that I learned from PBS, half-shouted "Right! What's all this, then?"

As soon as the dogs heard that they stopped barking, wagged their tails and ran over excitedly. I petted them as quickly as I could to keep them from jumping. "Cassius, Brutus, how are you boys?" They licked my hands, ran off for a few feet and then came bounding over again, and I repeated the process until we made it to the front door. I waited for Melody to knock, but she didn't seem to be paying attention, instead she was staring ahead blankly and I realized she was nervous as hell. I knocked on the door quickly. We stood there for a few minutes while Cassius tried to lick Melody's hand. Oh shit, this was going to be interesting.

The door opened and Leeky, Lane's house elf stood before us. "Mistress Gwennie, very good to see you. And you too, Professor."

Melody and I walked in and Leeky quickly half-jogged around the corner to go tell Lane that we're here. I knew we had a few minutes to talk so I took a hold of her hand. "It'll be ok. She has to know, and sooner better than later. Could you imagine what would happen if…"

"Melody, Hank, this is a surprise. Tea?"

As usual Lane looked immaculately dressed, even if she was just puttering around the house like I imagined she would be on a Saturday. Only my mother-in-law could look that well put together while lying around having tea and reading The Daily Prophet, as her hair was immaculate as usual and the dressing gown-whatever thing she was wearing was fire engine red with Chinese dragons all over it. I realized that I was wearing jeans, an old button down shirt and a pair of boots; only coming to Forthingsgate made me feel underdressed, regardless of the occasion.

When we made it to Lane's destination, the little nook with massive windows, we sat down and had tea and made small talk. Lane asked about our jobs, how Hogwarts was going so far, told Melody that her last piece for Witch Weekly was well done and that she'd received compliments at her Women's Guild meeting, all sorts of stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with why we were actually there. Of course Lane would never be so crass as to say "so, why are you here?" I knew that my Mom would have said that almost the instant that we arrived, but I'd learned to navigate the waters of Forthingsgate well enough to know better.

Finally, as Lane was in the middle of a story concerning her new strain of orchids, Melody couldn't take it anymore. "Mum, I'm pregnant."

I had anticipated something very sedate, very proper in my head when imagining the scene on the way to Forthingsgate. In my imagination Lane had sipped tea, crossed her legs and very politely inquired about Melody's health, the due date for the baby and gave Melody very specific instructions on raising a baby that would probably result in Melody becoming angry later as she would somehow consider the comments an insult to her intelligence. What happened couldn't have been further from my thoughts than, well, George Weasley becoming Minister of Magic. Lane dropped her teacup, the contents of which spilled all over the cream colored tablecloth, and was out of her chair and over to Melody before anyone could say another word.

"Gwennie! Oh Gwennie!" She hugged Melody tightly, and over Lane's shoulder I could see Mel's completely shocked expression. Lane kissed Melody on her forehead. "Oh, Gwennie, this is such good news! When do they say the baby will be here?"

Shit. Mel hadn't even told me that yet.

"June, Mum. Early June." Mel looked in a daze. "You're really happy about this, aren't you?"

"Oh Gwennie, I'd hoped…and your father…" Lane put her hands to her face and began crying. "I'm so happy for you."

Melody looked over to me and mouthed "what the fuck?"

I started laughing, as quietly as I could because Melody had said "fuck" about two times in the entire time I'd known her.

Lane composed herself quickly, but the smile on her face was bigger than I'd ever seen. Actually, this was the most emotion I had ever seen from my mother-in-law.

"Gwennie, Hank, you are staying for lunch. No, we'll go out, to celebrate! We have so much to talk about. I believe your old nursery things are in storage, wait, no, that won't do, not for my grandchild. We shall go shopping, yes, that's it. I know exactly where to go, Francine will be able to show us the perfect things for the room. Yes, the second bedroom upstairs will be perfect, not too close to Lavinia's room but still close enough."

Lane continued to talk and plan but I wasn't listening. I glanced over to Melody and after seeing the look on her face I realized we were both in for a long nine months or so.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been following this story. It's been quite fun to write. For the record The Shaggs are an actual band, and their history and music are definitely worth a look, especially if you enjoy the "so bad it's good" type of thing. Of course Jo Rowling owns most of the things in this story and all of my other HP stories, so credit where credit is due.