a/n: Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and story alerts! Sorry for the late update! This chapter just gave me so much trouble. I must have changed the beginning at least four times.
Also, it wasn't supposed to be quite so long. I thought about breaking it into two chapters, but then I became indecisive over where cut it. In the end I thought it best to just leave it as one big chapter.
Hope you guys enjoy!
Disclaimer: APH does not belong to me.
Chapter 5: I Need You, But I Don't Want You
Alfred swallowed heavily, fear slowly creeping into his eyes. He knew that look. Knew what it entitled for him.
He swallowed audibly.
His anger dissipating, giving way to fear.
Whispers.
Creators, the whispers were starting again.
He scrunched his eyes closed, biting his lip nervously.
Cerulean eyes opened, but besides Ivan, no one else was in the room. His eyes narrowed at seeing Ivan's intense look. "I'm not yours," he stated angrily, fear still apparent in his eyes.
The whispers seemed delighted at Alfred's outburst, their voices all but shouting at him in a chorus of voices.
Alfred's face paled as he heard his name being shouted. Demons— demons knew his name.
His fear swelled, encompassing his heart in a vice like grip as a single voice stood out amongst the voices.
"Alfred…" He stiffened. Anxiously he grabbed the hem of Ivan's cloak. It laughed. The fucking voice laughed. "I'm here to help," it said, its voice low and sleeplike, as if trying to coax him into a sense of safety. "Don't you want freedom? You don't want this. I can help you," it murmured softly. "Let me help you."
He shook his head defiantly. No, of course he didn't want this, but he damn sure wouldn't get help from a demon of all things. No, he would gain his freedom himself, with his own strength and resolve.
"A pity," the voice rang out, as if it could read his thoughts. It laughed, and soon the other voices joined in. Alfred all but jumped as he felt something touch his skin.
"Are they talking to you?" Ivan asked quietly, from his tone, he knew they were.
Alfred didn't respond, he merely looked at Ivan with expressive eyes.
Anger, pain and fear, so much fear.
He'd never seen the elf look so vulnerable… so pitiful.
But he couldn't deny how alluring it made Alfred look. Hair tousled and glasses skewed, it was almost as if he was waiting to be ravished.
He reached forward, his gloveless hand touching the lyrium markings beneath Alfred's lips. He felt him shiver, and couldn't help but grin.
Oh, he would have the elf, but not now. No, the elf would come to him.
But just because he couldn't have him now, didn't mean he wouldn't touch him.
Slowly, he moved his hand down Alfred's chin, to his neck, finally stopping at Alfred's clavicle. Ivan frowned, his fingers casually tugging at the bandages wrapped around Alfred's chest.
He deftly began tugging at the bandages, causing Alfred to hiss in pain.
"W-wha—"
"Shh," he mumbled forcefully, tearing at the bandages, finally, through sheer tenacity, the bandages were torn asunder, revealing lyrium branded skin and a still healing wound.
Ivan's violet eyes followed the tendrils of lyrium on Alfred's skin, the skin flushing red everywhere he looked.
"Dude!" Alfred shouted angrily, trying to push Ivan away.
"I can make the voices go away," Ivan replied casually, his finger continuing its conquest of Alfred's chest. The markings lighted ghostly-blue under his touch, and he couldn't help but note how Alfred's attempts to remove him were weakening.
Boldly he leaned forward, his clothed chest mere centimeters from Alfred bare chest. "I can make them leave you alone," he whispered sultrily, enjoying the hazy look of anger on Alfred's face.
"S-stop," he spluttered spitefully, trying to push his body further into the mattress, away from Ivan. "Don't."
But Ivan didn't stop, he moved away from the elf, but his hands continued their assault on Alfred's body, slowly and torturously following the lyrium markings.
While his hands continued their assault towards Alfred's hips, Ivan's gaze traveled upward, toward the flushed and angry face of Alfred.
"Are they still talking to you?"
"Why—," he gasped sharply as Ivan rubbed circle's on his abdomen, "d-do you care?"
"Because you interest me." Slowly he bent down, resting his mouth against Alfred's ear. "Like I said," Alfred shivered as Ivan's warm breath tickled his skin, "I won't let the demons have you." He pulled back, his eyes darkening considerably at seeing Alfred underneath him. "Now, tell me. The demons, are they still talking to you?" he asked, his tone demanding.
Alfred scowled, turning his head to the side, he shook his head.
Ivan couldn't help the calculating smile that graced his face. "Excellent. I won't have weaklings tied to my name." Slowly he removed himself from Alfred, at once missing the heat that radiated from the elf. "I expect you to undergo the Harrowing, pass that, and I'll overlook the fact that you lied to me."
"I didn't lie." Alfred crossed his arms, wincing in pain as he grazed his wound. "What's a Harrowing?"
"A test."
"For what?" Alfred asked, not liking the smug grin on Ivan's face.
"To see if you're as capable as you believe you are."
Yao wasn't surprised when Ivan had asked him to change Alfred's bandages, but he was surprised when he entered the room and found the bandages torn apart.
Yao approached the bed slowly, vaguely noting that this was the first time that Alfred had stayed on his bed for so long. "How," he whispered to himself, "did this happen?" An image of Ivan came to mind, and he quickly dismissed it. But it had to be him, didn't it?
He couldn't help but get a little upset at the thought of Ivan touching Alfred while he slept. When Ivan had come to Yao earlier he had that look. The look that clearly said he was plotting something. What exactly, he didn't know. And while he usually didn't mind not knowing, he couldn't help but want to know this time. Because somehow—somehow he knew that it involved Alfred.
"Hey," he whispered lightly, gently shaking Alfred's arm, purposely avoiding the lyrium tattoo. He didn't like the way his body would react on contact, and judging from the way Alfred would tense, it wasn't something he enjoyed as well. "Alfred, wake up."
The blond slowly stirred, opening his eyes angrily he turned towards Yao. "Oh," his glare vanished, replaced by a smile, "what's up?"
"I'm here to change your bandages."
"Of course…" slowly he sat up, some of the torn bandages still clinging to his skin.
Yao couldn't help but look at Alfred's face as he removed the bandages and cleaned the wound. He looked fine, not as though he had been… harassed. Should he ask? Carefully he applied the new bandages, slowly covering the wound. Alfred hissed every time it passed his injury.
But his thoughts were interrupted by Alfred's clear voice, "What's a Harrowing?"
That got his attention, Yao's hands stilled in their work as his gaze locked onto Alfred's blue orbs. "The Harrowing is a test," he said casually, forcing his hands to go back to work. Why was Alfred asking? How, in the name of the Maker, did he even know that word? No one in the Imperium even—oh, is this what Ivan was plotting?
"Yeah, I got that much, but what exactly is it a test of?"
"It's not done here, though some of us have undergone the ritual. Unlike the rest of Thedas, we don't keep mages isolated from the rest of the world."
"You mean the Circles?"
"Yes, the main difference between the Imperium and everyone else is the Circle of Magi. We don't have one, but they do. Any person who shows sign of magic is taken by the Circle, and all mages sent there are considered dangerous and are treated as apprentices until they pass the Harrowing." Yao licked his lips, nearly done re-bandaging Alfred's wound. "It is a very dangerous test."
oOo
The Circle of Magi: The dominant organization for the training of mages within nations of Thedas. They are governed and monitored by the Chantry.
Harrowing: A secret rite of passage that the Circle administers, without warning, to adult apprentice mages. The ritual is analogous to a vaccination-the apprentice is exposed to a demon under controlled circumstances in order to prove that they are strong and willful enough to fight off an attempt at possession. If a mage fails this test, they become possessed by a demon and undergo a physical transformation and are immediately destroyed by the Templars monitoring them
oOo
"I'm not a mage, Creators, doesn't he get it?"
Yao sat on the mattress, meeting Alfred's dark gaze head on. "You may not acknowledge the fact that you have an affinity for magic, but the demons do, and unlike us, they'll hound you till you break." His gaze softened, as he saw Alfred stiffen at the mention of demons. "The test is to see if you can resist the demons in the Fade. I went through the test and so did Ivan."
"And if I don't pass it?" he asked seriously, his eyes hard.
"You'll pass it," Yao responded.
"But—"
"No," Yao shook his head, his brown hair fluttering across his vision, "you'll pass, failure is not an option."
"… Okay," Alfred responded back, confusion clearly visible on his tired face. "So," he began awkwardly, "did you end up finding that plant?"
"Yes, I did end up finding it, though I was more concerned with bringing you back to the palace," he crossed his arms, suddenly looking unhappy, "though Ivan would have none of it, Maker, he didn't even want me to touch you!"
"He didn't want you to touch me?"
Yao couldn't help but note the faint blush that spread across Alfred's cheeks. "Yes, he seemed determined to heal you himself, it took a lot of persuasion on my part to make him let me heal you, and once I healed you as much as I could, he told me to look for the flowerer so that the trip wouldn't be a waste." Alfred nodded, his eyes lightly glazed as they took in the information.
"I'll be leaving soon," Yao said, looking away from the elf. "Tomorrow is my last day here." He turned back, his brown eyes boring into Alfred's. "I take it you'll be undergoing the Harrowing. Do you know the actual date?"
"No." Alfred's fiddled with the bandages, his face heating up despite his wishes. "Can I ask you something?"
Yao nodded, his thoughts on what Ivan was plotting pushed back. Why was Alfred blushing?
"What's—," he bit his lip anxiously, holding on to Yao's gaze, "what's Ivan's deal?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why is he so interested in me?" he asked bluntly, the flush spreading to his ears.
Yao felt his own cheeks heating up. Of all the things he thought the blond was going to ask him, that was definitely not one of them. What was he supposed to say? Even he found Ivan's attraction to Alfred odd. "I'm actually not sure," Yao admitted. "Ivan never really showed any interest in anybody. I only know of two relationships that he's ever had, and both of those relationships were with human women who initiated the relationship."
"Can 'ya, I don't know, tell him to lay off? He thinks it's a challenge when I tell him to fuck off."
"Is that what prompted him to rip your bandages?" Yao asked suddenly.
Alfred's face darkened considerably, his face nearly rivaling the color of Ivan's robe. "Is that what he told you?"
"No, he just told me to change your bandages."
"So… how'd you know it was him?"
Because that was what he first thought when he entered the room, but he wasn't going to tell Alfred that. "Lucky guess."
Ivan hadn't had many dealings with Magister Elizabeta, but Yao always commended her abilities, so there must be something about her that was worthy of the praise.
Slowly Ivan picked up his quill, beginning his request for her abilities. He couldn't help the self-satisfied grin that graced his face. When was the last time he had felt like this? The elf was truly to turning out to be a source of entertainment, if not an unhealthy obsession.
His hand stilled as he recalled the elf beneath him. He couldn't help but envision Alfred a panting mess beneath him, begging Ivan to touch him, those sky-blue eyes glazed over, and that toned lyrium branded skin throbbing against his own flesh. Ivan took a shaky breath at the image.
But would it really be like that? Somehow Ivan couldn't see Alfred relinquishing control so completely.
He looked back down at the summons he was writing, suddenly feeling the urge to complete the letter sooner rather than later.
Alfred would need to undergo the Harrowing ritual, not just to prove his worth to Ivan, but to give Ivan an edge over the elf. Yes, this test would give Ivan the means to control Alfred.
He set to work, time passing by quickly as he wrote.
A knock at his door sounded, before the large oaken door opened, and without even glancing up Ivan knew who it was. "What brings you at this hour, Yao?"
Yao sat in the chair in front of Ivan's desk, his face tight as he eyed his friends moving hand. "I just came back from Alfred's room."
"Oh?"
"His wound looks well, but he looks exhausted. How long was he awake when you were in the room with him?" he asked casually.
Ivan smiled lightly. "Not that long. I stayed to make sure that he went to sleep."
He had stayed, much to Alfred's annoyance. In the end, his little elf tired of glaring at him and nodded off, but Yao didn't need to know the details.
"I take it he told you about the demons?" Ivan asked casually, signing the document with a flourish of his signature. Where had he left that stamp?
Yao's eyes widened in surprise. "No, he didn't mention that." Yao's chocolate gaze fell onto the parchment on Ivan's desk. "Is that why you're making him go through the Harrowing?"
Ivan folded the paper, carefully placing it in a plain envelope. "He has to show his worth," Ivan responded. "The elf needs to learn his place. This test is his punishment for lying to me."
"But you already knew he was a mage," Yao argued.
"Yes, I did," he sealed the document, the hooded ferryman standing out clearly in the drying wax, "but he didn't know that, did he?"
Ivan smiled innocently, and Yao couldn't help but feel some of his resolve leave him. "Will I be here when he takes the test?"
Ivan shook his head. "I plan on inviting Magister Elizabeta to observe the ritual." He eyed Yao coolly. "After all, you're always praising her abilities."
Yao smiled at her name. Good, Elizabeta was someone trustworthy. "She is a good healer, for being a mage who doesn't specialize in Spirit Healing." He leaned back in his seat, weariness clear in his demeanor. "Would you like me to take that to the messenger?"
Ivan nodded and slid the letter across the table.
"Are sure about this, Ivan?" Yao asked as he took the letter. "That test… it may do more harm than good."
Ivan smiled at the question, humorously noting the way that Yao slightly shivered. "Do you know how to control a man who doesn't want nor need anything?"
Yao took in the words slowly, mulling over the question. "You give him something," he answered after a few minutes.
"Yes," Ivan leaned back, his smile turning predatory. "And then you hold that against him."
Yao nodded, confusion visible in his eyes. Clearly he was wondering how this conversation was related to what he had asked, but Ivan was not about to elaborate on his plan, Yao didn't need to know what he had planned for his elf.
"You'd best be on your way, Yao. I want that letter delivered quickly."
Yao nodded, obviously still perturbed with Ivan's decision. He gripped the letter tightly and walked out, knowing that he could do nothing to deter Ivan, after all, Alfred was his.
"Mythal guide me…" Alfred chanted lowly.
It had been three days since Yao left, and Alfred was left with only Ivan for company, which on any other occasion would have annoyed him greatly, but it seemed the demons would shut-up when in the presence of the platinum haired bastard.
At first he had been somewhat happy when he realized that Ivan wasn't kidding when he said that he could make the demons go away, but that quickly changed to annoyance, and ultimately anger.
Alfred glared angrily at the door, waiting for Ivan to barge in at any moment.
"Fucking ass," he spat out venomously. Ivan had ordered him to remain in bed the last time he had visited Alfred, but the enthusiastic blonde quickly ignored the demand. He had awoken not a few hours later in Ivan's arms. Apparently Ivan didn't appreciate Alfred's choice of sleeping in the corner.
Alfred couldn't help the flush that spread across his cheeks at the recent memory. Oh, he fought back, but that did nothing but amuse Ivan. Smiling the whole way through he dumped Alfred unceremoniously on his bed, aggravating his wound.
Then the bastard had the gall to threaten him if he found him anywhere but the bed. It wasn't so much the threat but the fact that Ivan had looked at him strangely that kept Alfred on the bed. He didn't like the way Ivan's eyes darkened as he threatened to bind Alfred to that accursed bed.
Since Yao's departure Ivan would randomly appear in his room, and Alfred didn't like awakening to those violet eyes watching him sleep.
But Ivan would smile that infuriating smile of his and just sit there, occasionally he wound bring a book with him, but not always. When he didn't bring a book he'd just… stare.
Could he complain? Not really. As much as he hated to admit it, Ivan's presence had a calming effect on the whispers, and while it was creepy to fall asleep being watched he couldn't help but succumb to the exhaustion.
He was damn tired, and those fucking demons wouldn't let him sleep, hell, they wouldn't let him think.
Which was why he was waiting for Ivan to appear. He was tired and creeped out. Much to Alfred's embarrassment, he had asked Yao to place some of that tree bark from the garden in front of his door before he had left, hoping that it would block the whispers. It was a foolish endeavor, but he didn't want a repeat of whatever it was that happened earlier with Ivan.
Ivan had come to see him after Yao had left and Alfred was on the defensive. He had looked at Alfred amused, that intense look he had worn gone. He just looked like his normal pompous self.
If Ivan was going to act like nothing happened, that was fine with him.
But that didn't stop him from being paranoid when he was around.
Grumbling, Alfred removed himself from his bed. "This sucks."
Slowly he walked towards the window, admiring the myriad colors in the sky. They looked so warm and inviting. The sky was always calling his name, and now more than ever he wished he could fly out to that sky, away from these voices… He reached out, his palm touching the cool surface of the glass. Creators, he wanted to go outside. Both Yao and Ivan had refused to let him leave his room until one of them deemed him in decent enough health. He could understand Yao's concern but not Ivan's, then again, he never got Ivan.
Alfred rested his forehead against the glass, watching the trees sway as the wind blew. "I need to train." Had he still been with Sadik he would have been punished. Severely. He closed his eyes as a shudder passed his body.
"Yes, you do." Alfred smiled bitterly, turning to meet those violet eyes he was becoming accustomed to waking to. But just because he was getting used to it didn't mean he had to like it. "Why are you out of bed?" Ivan asked casually, but Alfred could just barely make out the stern tone in his voice.
He crossed his arms across his chest barely restraining the grimace of pain from his wound stretching. "Oh, didn't realize I couldn't get out of bed."
They stared at each other, neither breaking their gaze until Alfred relented.
"Whatever."
Quickly he made his way towards his bed, not enjoying having Ivan's full attention. As he passed the violet eyed man, the whispers fizzled out and Alfred smiled contently as he sat on the bed.
"Next time you leave that bed without my permission, I'll do more than just tie you to the bed," he said, eyeing down the wheat-haired youth. "Is that clear, elf?"
He had to be joking. What was he supposed to do if he had to use the bathroom? "Do you want me to relieve myself here too?" Alfred asked incredulously.
Ivan leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. His violet eyes looked murderously at Alfred.
Why had he even asked? Glaring at Ivan could only provide so much joy, and after a few minutes he felt himself dozing off. He felt a presence at his side, but it didn't register in his mind. A few seconds later found Alfred dozing peacefully and Ivan at his side.
A week and a half passed in a blur of sleepless nights. The whispers had gotten worse, and the nightmares were an unexpected mess. Alfred shivered, wrapping his cloak tightly about his body. He couldn't remember how the demon's looked in his dreams, but their voices were a different matter. There were some things that Alfred was certain he would remember until he died, and those voices were one of them.
One voice had stood out from the bunch, one that had followed him incessantly in that warped word of the Fade. That raspy voice, with its drawn out breathes, so low and hypnotic. Alfred rubbed his eyes tiredly, his frustrations growing by the second.
"Cowards," he muttered lowly, voice slowly growing strong. "Do you hear me? You're fucking cowards!" The whispers whirled around him in a cyclone of mockery.
Alfred gritted his teeth, growling threateningly. This was getting ridicules. He had been ecstatic when Ivan had told him he would be too busy to see him, but now all he wanted was for that smiling bastard to show up!
Caution be damned! Alfred hastily changed, putting on a plain blue robe, a gold sash hanging loosely at his side. He grabbed his cloak, gripping the fabric tightly as he left his room.
He hadn't gone very far before he found the source of his frustrations. The whispers turned to shuts as Alfred stepped determinedly towards Ivan. Yeah, they sure as hell didn't like Ivan, which was fine with Alfred 'cause he didn't like him too.
He saw the surprise in those violet eyes, and couldn't help but feel some pride at getting a reaction out of that hard-ass.
Ivan's amethyst eyes quickly lost their surprise, and instead of anger or even annoyance, they changed to amusement.
"Problems sleeping?" he asked innocently, meeting Alfred halfway in the corridor. He gently ran his finger under Alfred's eye, his amusement doing nothing to change Alfred's mood.
Alfred smacked his hand away, glaring at him. "Dude."
But, Creators, that touch—it was just a touch! Just a touch and the voices haunting both his waking and sleeping worlds seemed to crumble, their ferocity and grip on Alfred gone, and for the first time that week he could hear himself.
How was it that Ivan could make them leave? Was it some skill that mages learned?
"You're lucky I'm in a good mood," Ivan began, motioning for Alfred to follow him. "Or you'd be tied to that bed of yours."
Alfred snorted at the remark, but followed Ivan nonetheless.
Ivan led him to his study, sitting behind his desk he motioned for Alfred to sit down. The room was dark, the only source of light coming from the fireplace. Countless books littered the wall, and Alfred wondered if Ivan had truly read them, or maybe he put them there for show? Knowing that smug bastard he probably had read them. Hell, he just wished he could read.
"It's rude to stare," Alfred stated, resting his head on the extremely soft chair. His eyes closing as he relaxed at the sound of the fire cackling. He felt Ivan's gaze on him, but he couldn't bring himself to get annoyed. He was too tired to feel anything but that mind-numbing need to sleep.
"Also rude to fall asleep when someone invited you to speak," he responded, his deep voice forcing Alfred's sleep deprived eyes to open. He smiled and Alfred glared, his eyes beginning to close once again.
"Did you actually read all these books?" Alfred motioned towards the walls, his eyes refusing to open, his eye-lids felt so heavy.
Ivan laughed, his eyes moving from Alfred to his shelves. "Only a fool would surround himself with books he has not read."
"Show-off."
Ivan's chuckle filled the room, that deep laugh forcing Alfred to open his eyes. Where was Ivan from? Definitely somewhere on the fringes of the Imperium, no way was that accent a mainland one.
"Hey," he asked dreamily, his brow furrowed, "Where are you from? Your voice… I haven't heard any people with that voice." He heard Ivan move in his chair, and could just imagine that infuriating smile on his face.
"Oh?" he smiled, lazily he rested his chin on his propped up arm, watching Alfred with curious eyes. "I'm from a small village in the northern Imperium, the Nocen region. Not many people in that area, so it's no surprise that you haven't heard the accent elsewhere."
"But Yao doesn't have it."
"No, he doesn't, but then Yao wasn't originally from Qarinus. He moved in later on, and retained his accent from Asariel."
"Oh," Alfred breathed out softly. Well, mystery solved.
Ivan pulled out a letter from his pocket, placing the unsealed envelope down he stared at Alfred's still body happily. "You'll be undergoing your test soon. Magister Elizabeta should be arriving sometime this week. Are you prepared for the test?"
Alfred's head fell forward, his bloodshot eyes half glaring at Ivan. "I just tell the demon to fuck off, pretty sure it's not that hard."
Ivan smiled, the grin reaching his eyes. "The Fade is a dangerous place. The demons, in their pursuit to enter our world, have reconstructed their world to look like ours. But their bases for their world are our dreams. You can probably guess how warped the place must look."
Oh, he knew. Knew too damn well how the Fade looked. Everything looked so off, and the voices. He bit his lip, resting his head back, his lyrium laced neck clearly exposed. The voices had to be the worst thing.
Ivan watched Alfred's neck with slowly darkening eyes. "A word of advice: don't trust anything in the Fade. Demons control everything in that plain, from the appearance of the world to the way they look."
Alfred smirked. "Is that concern?" he asked mockingly.
"And if it is?"
"It's not needed. I totally got this."
Nothing more was said.
A blanket of silence descended upon the room, and Alfred felt himself drifting off, Ivan's presence permeating his very being.
"T-this way, miss."
She smiled lightly, the poor boy, he was so nervous!
"Has the Archon been waiting long?" she asked gently, the boy shook his head, giving her a nervous smile. "What's your name?"
"Toris, miss."
"No need to be so nervous, Toris." She laughed, the noise calming down the nervous brunette.
He nodded, directing her toward a secluded corridor. He knocked on the door nervously before opening the heavy oak doors. She entered and he followed after, the door closing silently.
And there he was, the Archon, sitting at his desk, his trademark smile on. "Ah, Magister Elizabeta, a pleasure having you."
"The pleasure is surely mine," she said as she bowed. The boy behind flinched as he caught Ivan's gaze.
"I-is there anything else you require, sir?"
"No, that's all for now Toris. You're free to go." He nodded, offering a quick goodbye to the Magister before he left the room.
"Come take a seat. There's much to discuss."
She smiled lightly, doing as she was told. It was odd sitting before the Archon with no other Magisters but herself.
"I came as soon as I received your letter. I hope I didn't keep you waiting long."
He smiled, shaking his head. Those violet eyes taking in her appearance. "Your timing is perfect." He replied cryptically. "Are you familiar with the Harrowing?"
"Yes. I haven't taken the ritual myself, but I know the gist of what the ritual entails."
Ivan nodded, his gaze hardening. "I'm certain the rumors have reached all of the empire by now. Surely you've heard that I have a slave."
Well now. She had dabbled in a bit of rumors here-and-there, and certainly the topic of the Archon owning a slave had been covered, quite extensively actually. But talking about those things was different when you were speaking to the person who the rumors were about.
"Yes, I've heard the rumors." Maker, she was probably responsible for passing more rumors than any other individual in the Imperium on that matter.
"The rumor is true. I do have a slave." Her emerald eyes widened at the confession. "He's a mage," he said casually, his eyes locking onto hers. "Blood magic is a serious offense, I'm certain you know my stance on its use." She nodded, of course everyone knew his stance on blood magic. The last public execution of a blood mage was proof of his hatred for that forbidden branch of magic.
"Which is why you're making him take the Harrowing."
"Yes. I won't have a potential blood-mage tied to me." Ivan sat back, his eyes looking at her gravely. Did the room get colder? "This slave is very important to me. I hope I can expect your full cooperation."
"Of course, you will have my full attention, Archon. Have no doubt about it."
He smiled, and the room seemed to lose its chill.
"Now, about the finer details about the ritual…"
"This feels so good." Alfred sat out in the garden, resting beside the sunflowers. Ivan had finally let him leave his room, thank the Creators, that room was driving him insane.
Out here the voices of the demons were extinguishable with the howling of the wind. But while he could avoid them while he was awake, he couldn't while he slept.
He had been avoiding Ivan since their last meeting. He hadn't meant to fall asleep in Ivan's study, but in his defense, he'd been so damn tired that he probably would have fallen asleep anywhere.
The wind rushed past him, the sunflowers bending from the pressure of the wind.
He sighed happily, wrapping his cloak tightly about himself. The black material really was warm. His cerulean eyes flicked to his left at the sound of crunching twigs. Who was out here? Curiously Alfred followed the noise, it wasn't like he had much to do. Until his wound healed he couldn't train.
"Now, where in the name of Andraste am I?" A woman's voice… was it a new servant? Slowly he inched forward, the first thing he noted was that dark brown hair. It was so long, and looked so soft. There was no way this was a servant, not from the way she was dressed. She wore a light lime-green robe with countless pink and yellow flowers tastefully stitched throughout the garb, a white sash adorned her waist. He stared, crap, he knew he shouldn't, but she looked amazing.
The woman turned, her green eyes widening as she spotted him. "Hey!" she yelled, marching towards Alfred. "Do you work here?"
"Uh…" he looked at her confused. "Work? Yeah, I guess I do."
She wasn't scared of him?
Smiling kindly, she bowed to him. "My name is Magister Elizabeta." She looked at him expectantly.
"Alfred," he said after a few seconds. That voice sounded familiar…
"Nice to meet you, Alfred." She stepped closer towards him, smiling brightly, and Alfred found himself smiling with the same vigor.
"What are you doing out here?"
She shivered as the wind blew past, her long hair flying in the wind. "I just finished a meeting with the Archon, and he mentioned that I was free to do what I pleased. His gardens are well known throughout the empire, so I figured I'd spend some time here." She smiled sheepishly. "But I lost track of where I was, and ended up wandering about, that is, until you showed up."
Alfred nodded in understanding. "I've gotten lost before as well. It takes a while to learn where everything is," he said sympathetically. "Ivan invited you?"
She raised a brow at him. "You call Archon Ivan without his title?"
"Yeah, why?"
"He doesn't mind?"
Alfred shook his head. Ivan never brought it up. Heck not even Yao seemed bothered by the fact that he called Ivan without his title. Was it really such a big deal?
She shivered again, closing her eyes she cursed lightly under her breath.
"Here."
"Huh?" she opened her eyes to see the blue eyed youth extending his cloak to her. "Oh, no, it's—"
"Don't worry about it," he smiled lightly, and that's when her eyed widened. Those markings on his skin… this was the slave Sadik owned.
She took the cloak from him, her fingers gently brushing against Alfred's hand. "Thank you."
He nodded. "I know the way out. Do you wanna leave?"
She nodded. Alfred turned away, his smile leaving his face. He saw the shock on her face. He clenched his fist angrily.
"Do you remember me?" Elizabeta asked quietly.
Alfred looked at her confused. "Have we met before?"
She nodded. "Yes, though at the time, you couldn't see."
"That's why…" he smiled, of course, that gentle voice, "you're the healer Sadik called on."
"Yes, I'm glad that you were able to find a healer who could do what I couldn't," she said sincerely.
"Me too."
They walked for a bit, Elizabeta's gaze on Alfred's glasses.
"Was it Yao who healed your eyes?" Alfred nodded. "So I take it you no longer belong to Sadik?"
At the mention of his name Alfred stilled. "No, I don't."
They entered the palace, the warm air in the building tingling their chilled skin.
Elizabeta removed the cloak, handing it back to Alfred. "Thank you."
He blushed lightly. "Don't mention it." He put the cloak back on, the light scent of something sweet wafting in the air. Was it his cloak? "Do you know the way back to your room?"
"Yes, Toris showed me how to find my room."
Who the heck was Toris? He nodded, slight confusion in his eyes. "I'll see you later than." She nodded, and he turned to walk away. Not three steps later he stopped. "I look forward to seeing you at the Harrowing."
"What? Wait, you mean you're the one who is taking the test!" she shouted surprised. He nodded, smiling tiredly.
The walk back to his room had been uneventful. The voices were back, but they weren't enough to dampen Alfred's mood. He actually had a conversation with someone who wasn't Ivan or Yao, and damn did that feel good!
He waltzed into his room, about to head towards his corner when he spotted Ivan.
"Where were you?" Ivan asked casually, his eyes never moving from the papers he was reading.
"The gardens. You said I could leave the room."
"Yes, I did, didn't I?" Ivan sat the papers down, violet eyes roaming over the elf's body. "Magister Elizabeta is here. The test will happen tomorrow night."
Alfred nodded, a lopsided grin on his face. "Good, I'm ready to kick some demon ass."
"Hmn," he stood, making his way towards Alfred. "You should get some rest."
Alfred stood his ground, though all he really wanted to do was back away. "I'll get plenty of sleep when those demons leave me the hell alone."
Ivan reached out, hand slipping into Alfred's hair. "Were you lying on the ground again?" he pulled some grass and leaves from Alfred's hair, letting them fall to the floor. All too suddenly his eyes narrowed. He moved closer towards Alfred, his eyes boring into those sky-blue eyes. "Where you with someone?"
How did he know? "Yeah, I found that Magister in the gardens. She was lost so I helped her find her way back to the palace. How'd you know?" he asked amazed.
"Why do you smell like her?" he asked dangerously, his tone low and deadly.
Alfred looked at him confused, and a little angry. "I let her borrow my cloak. She was cold."
It was uncomfortable being that close to Ivan, but the demons didn't like it so he suffered through it. Finally Ivan smirked, and Alfred couldn't help but step back, the moment he did so he mentally cursed. "I see. Always the gentleman," he cupped Alfred's face, forcing his face up. "Next time let her freeze." Alfred tried turning away, but he held on tighter. "Go to bed."
He let go. Alfred didn't even say anything, his heart was beating so hard that his wound was hurting. He turned away, walking toward his corner.
"Alfred."
He continued his walk, but not towards the corner. He got onto the bed, glaring spitefully at that platinum haired bastards face.
"Goodnight."
"Fuckoff," Alfred growled out.
He saw those violet eyes darken, and on some vague level he knew he crossed the line, but he didn't care. But Ivan didn't do anything, but smile, and that smile looked so twisted that Alfred actually turned away. Despite the warmth of the blankets Alfred couldn't feel a thing but the perpetual cold he knew was emanating from an angry Ivan.
"Why are we doing this here?" Alfred asked cautiously, after their little spat last night, he had awoken tied to his bed. He had remained there the whole day, only released from his binds when Ivan showed up to take him to the ritual.
Magister Elizabeta stood to the side of Ivan's desk, watching intently as Ivan stood before the elf.
"Here." He thrust a small box into Alfred's arms.
Alfred looked down at the box, and when he glanced up he found Ivan walking away from him. He really had pissed him off, hadn't he? He opened the box slowly, not sure if it was some elaborate trick to get back at him.
His eyes grew large as he removed the top of the box. Slowly he glanced at Ivan, but he still had his back to the lyrium-branded elf. Carefully he removed a pair of new glasses from the box. He removed his damaged pair, placing them in the box. He put the new pair on, and bit his lip as he watched Ivan.
Suck it up, he told himself. But it was so damn hard to! "Thanks," he said awkwardly, not liking the way Elizabeta watched them so blatantly.
"Like I told you before, I take care of what belongs to me." Ivan turned to face him, anger still evident in his eyes. "Have you checked him?" Ivan directed at Elizabeta.
"Yes, besides that wound he seems to be in good shape."
He glanced back at the elf, motioning him toward the desk. "You'll plunge your hand into this chalice of lyrium," at the mention of lyrium Alfred tensed, "Where you'll mentally be transported to the Fade. A demon will be waiting for you there, your goal is to face this creature, and overcome it. If you fail, it will take your body." He lowered his voice so only Alfred could hear him. "If that happens I'll have to kill you, and that would be such a waste of a pretty elf."
"What?" Alfred asked confused because there was no way that Ivan said "cute".
Ivan simply smirked moving himself to the side.
The chalice was plain silver, but that wasn't what grabbed Alfred's attention, no, his eyes were locked onto the lyrium in the bowel. Everything always went back to that damnable lyrium.
He reached out his hand nearly touching the substance when Ivan spoke. "Remember, don't trust anything in the Fade." Creators, how many times was he gonna tell him that? His hand plunged into the cold, liquid substance. He pulled his hand back in shock, his body shivering as the residue of the lyrium on his hand began to burn.
In a burst of blinding light, he closed his eyes. When he reopened them he was no longer in Ivan's study.
"I hate this place."
The Fade was a creepy place. Everything seemed normal, and so long as you didn't really look, you could tell yourself that it was indeed that, but once you noticed, really noticed how everything seemed off, you couldn't help but see the Fade for what it truly was: the home of demons obsessed with the mortal realm.
The area looked so warped, the colors of this world not right. Everything was rocky, and dead, no plants or any signs of life anywhere.
Alfred walked aimlessly, not really sure how he was supposed to find this demon, or fight it for that matter. He didn't have his sword with him, and he wasn't going to relay on magic. Which left only his lyrium markings. But would his markings even work here in the Fade?
The only reason he was able to phase through people was because his limbs would momentarily tap into the Fade.
He wandered a bit more, before his focus fell on a mouse scurrying along the ground. "Nice to know that there's an infestation problem in this world as well."
The mouse stopped. Was… was it watching him? They stared at one another, Alfred still in a daze over the fact that the mouse was in a staring contest with him.
The little creature scurried away as the wind picked up, carrying the sound of low screams. Alfred turned toward the noise, his body poised for battle. But instead of a hulking beast coming at him it was a wispy cloud. It looked so harmless. It flew towards him, its low scream picking up.
Alfred rolled to the side, springing up, he activated his markings and pushed his arm into the cloud. He groped blindly before finding something solid within the gas-like object. He solidified, a spherical object grasped tightly in his hand.
The wisp didn't even cry out as it fizzled away, nothing remaining to show that it once existed.
"You're not a demon, are you?" Alfred looked around the area, his blue eyes glowing brightly in the Fade. "Down here."
He glanced down slowly, not sure what being awaited him on the floor.
It was the mouse.
The mouse was talking to him.
"This place is so fucking weird," Alfred said, running his hand through his untamed hair. He stared disbelievingly, crouching on the tips of his toes to get a clear view of the hairy vermin that had definitely called out to him.
"I saw the way you handled that wisp, it was amazing!" he spoke excited. Well he sounded like a 'he' to Alfred at least.
"You're a mouse."
"Huh? Oh, yes, this appearance, it keeps the demons away. They won't bother with something as insignificant as a mouse."
A look of disappointment crossed Alfred's face. "So you're not really a mouse?"
It chuckled, and Alfred found it the oddest thing he had ever witnessed. "No, I was once a human. Surely you know that everything in the Fade is just what you imagine. Your look the way you do because you think you do… I've been here for so long." He shook his furry head, rubbing his little eyes with his even smaller arms. "So long, I tried going back, but I spent so much time here that the Templars killed my real body. They trapped me here."
oOo
Templars: The strong arm of the Chantry, Templars serve as guardians of the Circles of Magi, hunters of apostates and maleficarum, and rarely, as a standing army at the command of the Divine. Through ingestion of carefully prepared lyrium, Templars gain resistance to magic, including the ability to interrupt spells. Though the Chantry controls the lyrium trade, those with the right connections can acquire enough to emulate the abilities of these vigilant warriors.
oOo
"Wait—wait," Alfred tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Let me get this straight. You used to be a normal dude, and for some reason the Templars killed you while you entered the Fade?"
"I was undergoing the Harrowing, isn't that what you're doing as well? I've only ever see apprentice mages come through here. But none of them ever bothered with me, which is fine by me, the less I interact with people, the less the demons take notice of me."
Another mage… why was he surrounded by them?
"But why did they kill you?"
"I took too long. I-I guess they thought I had failed. Maybe they thought I had succumbed to the demons? I'm not certain why they did it, but without an actual body I'm trapped here… trapped with these demons."
"Do you have a name?"
"I'm sure I do, but I don't seem to remember it… if you wish to call me by a name, then mouse will do. After all, that is what I am now." His long tail wagged happily. "If you're looking for your demon, its close by. I saw a large demon past the spirit of Valor, in that direction," he flicked his furry head back. "You can try speaking to him. Most of the apprentices do. He may be able to help you better than I."
Alfred nodded. Walking past the little fur-ball, who watched him as he walked away.
Just as the mouse had said there was an ethereal man in a suit of armor in the direction he had told him to go. He felt the gaze of the helmeted man. "Are you the spirit of Valor?"
He nodded. "Another mage. What is it that you want? Unlike the demons that crowd these lands my kind don't much care for your world."
"Nice to meet you too," Alfred crossed his arms in annoyance. "So you're not a demon?"
"No, don't you dare confuse us for those mindless beasts. All they care about is entering your world, tell me, what is so grand about your world that would warrant losing yourself to baser instincts?"
"I'm not a demon, maybe you should ask them." Alfred licked his bottom lip contemplatively. "So if you're not a demon, then what are you?"
"I am the spirit of Valor. Unlike the demons we spirits stay away from the affairs of your realm. Though on rare occasion we may help you out." He motioned at the weapons lying beside him. "I have helped a few of you apprentices before. I am capable of forging weapons just be my will alone," he said strongly, his voice commanding respect. "Prove your worth to me and I will help you in your test."
Alfred stood defensively, unlike the mouse this spirit looked more than capable at harming him. But he needed a weapon, there was no way he could rely on his lyrium markings alone to pass this test. "How would I go about proving myself?"
He couldn't see the creatures face, but he could hear the smile in that voice, "A dual, with whatever weapon of your choice. The first to disarm the other wins."
Alfred eyed him critically. He didn't look evil, hell, he didn't sound like the demons. But nothing was a guarantee in the Fade. After all, hadn't he just spoken to a mouse who claimed he was once human?
"The sword." Valor nodded, handing the blade to Alfred's outstretched hand. The weight didn't feel foreign, in fact, it oddly felt as if it had been made for him. He couldn't help the brilliant smile that graced his lips as he swung the blade, marveling as it seemed to become one with him.
Valor walked away from his set of weapons, walking a decent enough distance where neither he nor Alfred would have trouble swinging their blades. "Are you prepared?"
Electricity seemed to pass through Alfred's body as he gripped the blade, his eyes lighting up as he nodded.
"On your guard!" Valor yelled, lunging for the blonde.
Alfred dashed to the side, his sword coming down in a wide arc, Valor narrowly avoided the blade, charging toward the opening that Alfred's attack had left open.
But Alfred had left the opening on purpose. He smiled as his fist connected with Valor's chest, his hand phasing through the spirits wispy form. The attack left the spirit confused. Slowly he looked down at where Alfred's arm met his body.
"Drop your sword," Alfred said steely. His hand plunging further into the surprisingly cold body.
The sword clattered to the floor, its sound echoing quite loudly in the clearing. Alfred pulled his hand out, adrenaline pumping in his vain. He kept his blue eyes on Valor as he kicked the fallen sword away.
Valor backed away, and Alfred lowered his blade. "What was that?" Valor asked surprised.
"I win, the blade is mine, right?" Alfred asked, avoiding answering the question.
"Yes, the agreement stands, the blade is yours. A word of advice, the demon that awaits you is a demon of rage. I advise you against touching the creature with your flesh. Creatures consumed with nothing but rage are burning hot with their anger. Don't worry, that sword should be than capable of withholding its shape."
Alfred bowed his head, gripping the blade tightly he walked away from Valor.
How much time had passed since he entered the Fade? He couldn't help but think back on Mouse. The poor guy's body had been killed just 'cause he took so long. Would Ivan do the same to him?
He bit his lip anxiously. Ivan hadn't been too bad as of late, but then again, Alfred had been tolerating his presence. At least Ivan had cut down on the number of times he would enter Alfred's personal space. "He wouldn't," he said knowingly, gently fixing his glasses.
The area was becoming increasingly hot, sweat was falling from his brow, and his clothes hung annoyingly to his skin. "Should have worn some gloves," he lamented, his grip loose on the blades hilt.
Alfred stopped suddenly, his long ears picking up a noise. It sounded sluggish. Slowly he walked further into the open area, a gasp escaping his lips.
The rage demon was pacing about the area, leaving a trail of magma on the floor, much like a snail leaving its sticky residue, but unlike the snail, the ground sizzled after the demon.
Alfred coughed, the sulfuric smell of the demon leaving him feeling nauseated. At the noise the creature snapped its head at Alfred's direction, its bulbous head wobbling as it was entirely composed of a river of fire. Burning eyes like the sun locked onto Alfred's and he automatically pulled his blade out before him.
The beast raced towards him like the raging ocean, Alfred held his ground, prepared to thrust his blade into the beast. Creators he was hoping that Valor hadn't been kidding when he said the sword wouldn't melt.
"N-new meat," the beast hissed out as globs of magma fell from its lips.
"Disgusting."
The demon laughed. "Mine…" it groaned out, stopping before the elf, lava forming around his still body.
The smell was so much stronger with the beast so near. Alfred's eyes began watering at the smell. "I've come to slay you, demon."
It smiled, its liquid face a twisted mess, and Alfred knew that face would haunt his dreams later. "Mine," it began again, outstretching his hand towards Alfred. He brought his sword down, the beasts arm falling to the ground, where it became nothing more than a puddle of lava. The beast laughed, jumping back its reddish eyes dark with rage.
The ground beneath Alfred shook and he leaped back, his sword out in the defensive. The ground cracked open, molten magma flowing freely from the fissure. He gripped the blade tightly, running past the mini-volcano the demon had summoned. He thrust the blade to where the demons heart should have been, but nothing happened. His eyes widened as the beast grabbed clumsily at him, his sleeve disintegrating at the demons touch. Had the demon allowed himself to be injured?
"Mine," it began to chant, trying to push Alfred into the ground.
"Gah!" Alfred shouted, his chest burning from contact with the demon. He saw his blade still sticking out from the demons chest. He used his left arm as a shield to block the demon from touching his chest further, biting his lip to keep from screaming, he went to pull his sword out. He gripped the hilt tightly, tears forming at the ends of his eyes, and pulled. The blade pulled out with a plop, and Alfred leaped back, panting from the exertion and pain.
"I belong to no one," Alfred said dangerously low, his eyes carefully taking in the demons appearance. His sky-blue eyes flashed dangerously as he swung the blade in a wide arc, the demons head falling to the ground.
His body seemed to dissolve on itself without its head to keep it together.
Alfred choked on the demons dying fumes, walking away from the charred area.
He walked past Valor, who nodded at him as he passed. Alfred offed a weak smile back.
"You-you did it!" came a distinctly human voice.
"Of course, no demon can stop me," he said proudly, spotting the little mouse near a large boulder.
"I can't believe you did it, and without using magic too! I never had it in me to face them, not then, and certainly not now."
"Is there any way you can leave?" Alfred asked sadly. It must suck to be stuck in a place like this.
"Can you let me go with you? I can't leave this place unless I have a body to go back too. I swear I'll leave your body once we make it out. I just need you to let me in."
"… Let you in?" Alfred repeated, not thrilled with the idea of having someone in his own body. "What if tell the other mages about you? I'm sure they'd be willing to help."
"Help? What kind of help would they be willing to offer? They let the Templars trap me here!" he shouted.
"These mages don't have Templars…"
"No Templars?" where the mouse's eyes glowing? "Why are there no Templars?"
"It's the Imperium. Mages are free to do as they please."
"The Imperium?"
Alfred gripped his sword, the action not lost on the mouse. "The Tevinter Imperium. The oldest country in Thedas, surly you must have heard of it…" He looked at the mouse darkly. "I'm starting to think that the other demon wasn't the real test."
"What? What are you… of course it was! What else is here that could harm someone of your potential?" Alfred brandished his sword, holding it before the mouse.
"You're the one who told me that people look the way they do in the Fade because they wish it, so what's to stop you from doing the same, mouse?"
"Oh, aren't you a smart one?" came a deep throaty voice that exuded power. Light engulfed the furry rodent, and when it cleared a grotesque beast stood before Alfred. It hovered in the air, its face looked like something a Qunari had pounded. "Simple killing is a warrior's job. The real dangers of the Fade are preconceptions, careless trust… pride." It smiled at him, a primeval fear engulfing Alfred's heart. "Keep your wits about you, mage. True test never end."
Light filled his vision, blinding him from everything.
"… Ugh…"
"Are you alright?" came a gentle voice.
Alfred pushed back against his covers. The voice was soothing, but he didn't know any females. He opened his eyes only to be greeted by darkness, there were a few torches lit, but for the most part the room was dark. Blurrily he eyed the woman beside his bed. Oh, right, the healer from the garden.
Creators he ached…
"Where am I?" he asked, his voice cracking. He closed his eyes, moaning pathetically as he felt his raw throat clench.
A hand combed through his hair gently. "You're in your room… do you remember how you got here?"
Mouse…
"I was taking the Harrowing."
"Yes, you passed the test." She smiled, the action clear in her voice. "The Archon carried you to your room last night when the ritual was over."
He groaned lightly, the covers felt far too heavy on his body.
"Tell that ass that… that there was more than one demon."
He heard a tight laugh. "I'll be certain to let him know."
She continued talking, but it was so hard to focus. All he really wanted to do was sleep.
Such soft hair… It was one of his guilty pleasures, touching his elf's hair.
He had walked into the room, only to see his elf thrashing pathetically on the bed.
Ivan smiled down at Alfred, the shameless joy apparent in his eyes. Oh, the elf would soon be his, and the only thrashing he would be doing, would be done on Ivan's bed.
At his touch Alfred stilled, but the look of discontent remained on his face.
Wasn't the Harrowing supposed to have fixed this? Why where the demons still bothering him? He rubbed his face tiredly, not enjoying the way the action was sluggish.
Ivan had come in to see him, and the bastard had brought him flowers in congratulations on passing the ritual. What was he supposed to do with flowers?
That had been it though. No smart-ass remarks, just flowers.
He hadn't asked Alfred about what happened in the Fade, not that he wanted to elaborate on what had happened, heck, he was still confused.
The demons still bothered him, but not in the same manner. Oh, he heard their whispers, but they were distant, almost as if they were hiding from something. In fact he was sure they were.
Shivering involuntarily he wrapped his cloak tighter about himself, resting his head on the wall. His dreams had lead him to become paranoid. There was something always off in his dreams. No matter what he always dreamt that he was in the palace gardens, and always there was the intense feeling of being watched. He'd always catch a glimpse of something extremely tall from the side of his eyes, but as soon as he would turn to make sure he hadn't imagined it, it would disappear.
He was certain that whatever was watching him was keeping the other demons at bay. He didn't have any proof, but he knew he was right.
The door to his room opened quietly as Elizabeta walked in. "Hey," she called merrily. Alfred smiled tiredly, not sharing in her enthusiasm. "How are you feeling?"
Alfred looked dubiously at her. "I'm really tired." He ran his hand through his hair for the hundredth time that day, sighing angrily.
"You know the Harrowing doesn't prevent demons from bothering you. It just proves that you're capable of resisting their influence." She sat at Alfred's bed, watching him sympathetically. "My former apprentice usually played music when the demons became too much to handle. Those melodies were so beautiful, yet haunting," she said distantly. "You could tell that he was really bothered by them."
"Former? What happened to him?"
She feel back on the bed, her gaze on the ceiling. "He became the Divine for the Imperial Chantry." She smiled sadly, her voice bitter-sweet. "He went off to bigger and better things. I just hope he still plays."
oOo
The Imperial Divine: The leader of the Chantry, unlike the Orlesian Divine, the Imperial Divine is always male. Outside the Tevinter Imperium he is referred to as the Black Divine.
Imperial Chantry: A denomination of the Chantry centered in the Tevinter Imperium. The Imperial Chantry does not recognize the Divine of the Chantry of Andraste in Orlais, but elects its own Imperial Divine. In contrast to the Andrastian Chantry, the Imperial Chantry allows male priests and has more tolerant views of mages and magic.
oOo
Alfred brought his legs up, resting his head on his knees. Maybe he should go do something to get his mind off the demons too.
He scrunched his nose in disgust as he smelled himself. When was the last time he had bathed?
"Sorry about your friend."
She shook her head. "He's off to better things. Anyway, that's not why I came here for. Ivan told me to tell you that he'd be away for a few days."
"What?" his head snapped up at the information. "When? When is he leaving?" he all but shouted. That bastard! His eyes flashed dangerously as he stood abruptly.
"He should be leaving soon." She looked at him strangely. "He was in his study when—where are you going?"
But Alfred didn't answer, he was out the door the moment he heard study. He licked his lips angrily.
The door to the study opened forcefully as Alfred marched inside.
"What the hell?" he shouted angrily, his blue eyes filled with hate.
Ivan looked at him calmly, but the room chilled as he locked gazes with the irate elf. "Yes?"
Those violet eyes narrowed slightly as Alfred stepped nearer. "You're leaving. I'm your guard, you're supposed to take me with you when you leave." He crossed his arms defiantly. "If you're going, I'm going with you."
Ivan smiled, if one could even call it that. "You think to highly of yourself." He walked towards Alfred, closing the gap between them. Alfred repressed a shiver as Ivan cupped his face, lifting his face to meet Ivan's own. "You're in no position to protect anybody." His smile turned sinister. "You're still wounded from the Qunari, your body is still recuperating from your mind being in the Fade for so long, and look at yourself," he leaned forward his forehead touching Alfred's, " you look like shit, when was the last time you slept?" Alfred opened his mouth, but Ivan blocked his lips with his thumb. "You're staying. When I come back I expect you well."
Footsteps sounded in the corridor, alerting both the occupants in the room that someone was approaching.
Ivan moved his hands from the sides of Alfred's face to his hair, the look of anger vanishing as he ran his fingers through the silky strands. Alfred closed his eyes, not wanting Ivan to see the relief filling his body.
That strong feeling of being watched lessened as Ivan played with his hair. A knock on the opened door caught Alfred off guard. He pushed himself away from Ivan, his face flushing as he turned to the door. How fast had that servant walked to reach the room so quickly?
"S-sir?" He directed towards Ivan.
Ivan glanced once at Alfred before walking towards the nervous brunette. "Toris, this is who I was talking to you about." He nodded, looking at Alfred he offered a shy smile.
Ivan walked back towards Alfred, his hand finding its place in his hair once again. "I expect you to rest until I return, do I make myself clear?" Alfred scowled, pulling Ivan's hand out of his hair.
"When are you coming back?" Not that he really cared…
"Don't worry," he said, smiling knowingly. "I'll be back before you break."
Before he broke? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Had Alfred not been trying to figure out the meaning behind Ivan's words he would have noticed the predatory look in Ivan's gaze.
"I'll be seeing you, elf." He turned, smiling innocently as he passed Toris.
And just like that Ivan was gone. Funny, Alfred always figured he'd feel relief knowing that the touchy blonde was far, but he didn't feel any relief… just a gnawing feeling in his gut that something bad was going to happen.
He caught the brunette looking at him, nervous smile still etched on his face. "Hey," he said brightly. "The name's Alfred."
"Toris."
Alfred couldn't keep the honest smile from spreading across his face. "Nice to meet you," he said, extending his hand out to Toris, who looked at the action surprised. Slowly he reached out, his hand unsure in Alfred's as they shook.
"Likewise…" he said a bit more confidently, some of his nervousness leaving his face.
Awesome, this guy didn't look scared of him. "Let's get out of here," he said calmly. In truth, the feeling of being watched had come back. The small room felt stifling. Toris nodded, following the blond out of the room.
"So," he began oddly, "what did Ivan order you to do? Watch me?"
He shook his head, a bit of nervousness returning in his demeanor. "No, the Archon asked me to bring you your meals, and to make sure that you ate them."
"Oh." He glanced apologetically at the nervous youth. "Sorry," he said sincerely, slinging his arm around Toris shoulder. It seemed the appropriate thing to do.
Toris looked up surprised, not used to someone being so friendly. "No need to apologize, sir."
Alfred stopped walking. No way, did he just call him sir? "It's Alfred, don't… don't call me sir."
Toris nodded, his blue eyes twinkling. "If you don't mind me saying, you look exhausted. Maybe you should retire to your room, si- I mean, Alfred."
He was tired. But sleep was a luxury that he no longer had access to. It seemed that his ties to magic where far from being severed. "I need a bath," he muttered as he rubbed his hands on his face. Maybe with his body relaxed he could pretend that he wasn't being watched.
"I'll go fetch you some clean clothes."
Alfred nodded absentmindedly, already focused on the steamy, burning hot water that awaited him.
"Do you think he's okay?"
"Yes," she sipped some tea, her gaze on the person of question. "He just really needs some sleep." Had Roderich felt the same amount of fear as Alfred? She felt her heart ache as she watched the elf. He kept insisting he was fine, but he wasn't. All one had to do was look at him, his skin was deathly pale, and the bags under his eyes where so dark, it looked as if he had put charcoal purposely on his face.
"Are the demons really terrifying?" Toris asked lowly, playing with his cup of tea.
"They were never really too bad for me, but," her eyes hardened, "for others the experience is truly horrible. You fight, and fight, but you can only take so much before you break." She looked at her cup of tea, her gaze distant. "Sometime they'll tire and leave you, but it's never permanent. They come back. They always do."
Toris swallowed nervously, his stomach grumbling in disdain. "Ugh," he put his cup down, wrapping an arm around his stomach. He looked up at Alfred, who was watching the sunflowers intently. "Has-has he told you about it? The demon, I mean." He looked suddenly uncomfortable. "He told me a bit, I don't think he meant to."
"What did he say?" she asked her voice low, as if Alfred could even hear their conversation from where he stood.
"It's just one demon, it never speaks to him, just… just watches him," Toris gripped his belly tightly. "It only just recently showed himself, apparently." He grinned weakly, a quiver in his voice. "He said it looked human, except it was off, he wouldn't say what was off. I asked him, but he just smiled."
"Almost human?" she gripped the cup tightly, her knuckles turning white. "Can you remember anything else he said? The face, did he say anything about the demons face?"
Toris looked bewildered by the question. "Face? No, he didn't say anything about the demons face, though… though I think he was going to." He looked at her worriedly. "Is the face important?"
She looked back at the elf. He was just standing there, but even from this distance she could see the way his eyes glanced about the gardens, his gaze never staying in one spot for too long. He was looking for the demon. "It can't be the same one…" she mumbled to herself. It couldn't be the same demon. The former Divine had sealed him away, hadn't he? "In his last message, did the Archon mention when he would be returning?"
"N-no, he didn't say."
"Can you send him a message? Tell him that I think he should come back. Tell him that as Alfred's temporary healer I'm concerned for his wellbeing."
It was bad. Truly bad.
He'd seen him—it— the demon, Creators, he wasn't sure anymore. He had been in the gardens, the real gardens, this wasn't his fucking dreams, damn it, he hadn't imagined it!
He'd nearly dozed off when he realized how quiet it was. The wind had stilled, when previously it had howled across the garden, leaving a plethora of orangey-brown leaves in its wake. He hadn't thought much of it, and why should he?
But then he felt it.
That prickly feeling on his skin… he was being watched.
He turned back towards the Weeping trees, his eyes dilating at what he saw.
"Hah…" he looked crazily at the figure amongst the long limbed trees. "No-no way!" he stumbled back, quickly rubbing his eyes. But it was still there.
Just watching him.
Always watching him.
He stared at the tall thing, his heart racing as that blank face that he'd only just recently seen in the Fade looked at him. At least, he assumed it looked at him. It didn't have eyes, or for that matter a nose or mouth.
It looked eerily human. As if the demon had tried, really tried to be what it desired: a human.
In his opinion, its appearance was more unnerving than anything he had seen in the Fade.
It tilted its head, the shadows behind him quivering around its body. Its hand extended out, beckoning Alfred towards him.
"Fuck that…" He backed away. His eyes never once leaving the face-less demon. "Mythal guide me, protect me…" he chanted it lowly, his voice dripping with unconditional fear.
"Alfred!"
He jumped, his body dropping into a battle stance.
"Whoa!" Elizabeta held her hands out before herself. "It's just me."
"Heh, sorry," he smiled impishly, running a hand through his hair nervously.
She knew he wasn't okay, so what was the point in asking? Roderich always got touchy when she would ask. She reached out, grabbing his hand. His body tensed as she squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Ivan's on his way back. I thought you'd like to know." She released his hand, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at the news.
"Why do I care when he comes back?"
She nodded, her eyes soft. "Try getting some sleep."
"I will, trust me, I'm trying."
Was it always this quiet? He walked through the garden, half expecting something to pop out. But nothing did.
He smiled despite his paranoia.
Hadn't Elizabeta told him that Ivan would be returning soon?
Wait, wasn't that him?
"Hey!" he called out, relief filling his body at the sight of the platinum haired man. It had been damn near two weeks since he had left.
Ivan didn't stir.
Alfred looked at the body, anxiety creeping down his spine.
"Bastard, don't act like you can't hear me!" he shouted. Anger usually got a reaction out of him.
Slowly Ivan turned his body.
Alfred's face paled. This… this wasn't Ivan.
Faceless.
He closed his eyes with a sense of dread engulfing his body. "Not cool," he said tiredly, his eyes opening to see the faceless Ivan still before him. As if the guy wasn't creepy on his own. He bit his lip anxiously, not liking this.
It was always just him and the demon.
Always.
Why the sudden change? Was, was it planning something?
He walked away from Ivan.
He tried to leave the gardens but he couldn't. All the ways but one was blocked. The way towards the weeping trees.
All at once the scene from the gardens came to mind.
There it was. Just like last time, it was hidden in the trees.
Creators, it was tall. Much taller than Ivan. Far too tall, and much too thin to be human. And unlike the other demons it wore clothes. Dark, regal clothes.
"What," he licked his lips nervously, "is your problem?" He broke his gaze from the demon, feeling a sickening sense of fear engulfing his body. Whatever blind courage he had mustered was disappearing as he stood before the source of his nightmares.
It walked towards him-more like glided.
Alfred stood rooted to the spot. His heart was beating so fast, vaguely he noted that he was shaking. His wanted to run, but he couldn't. He couldn't move his legs!
It was in front of him now. Alfred lifted his head, and how he wished he hadn't. The skin of the creature was disgusting. It looked as if it had stitched it from countless human bodies.
It gripped Alfred's violently shaking wrist, the touch like lightning on his skin.
Alfred screamed. The action breaking whatever spell the beast had placed on his body. He punched the demon in the chest, turning to run away, a primeval fear pushing him to move. So complete was his fear that he didn't notice how his own shadow swelled abnormally.
He fell, and tripped harshly onto the floor. "Ugh," he looked down confused, his body shaking as he saw his leg gripped by swirling shadows. His markings lit up and he hissed angrily as he wasn't able to phase his leg out. "What?" he questioned breathlessly. This couldn't be happening…
The smoky tendrils swirled about his body, binding his arms to his body awkwardly. "Fuck! Let—let me go!"
The faceless creature was before him, the shadows originating from his body. The shadows on the demons back looked like the limbs of the trees that it had been hiding in. Frantically Alfred yelled, the sound animalistic. It echoed across the silent gardens.
The creature leaned forward, his writhing shadow-like appendages struck Alfred across his face.
Forcefully they opened Alfred's mouth, pushing past Alfred's throat, through his lungs and heart.
Alfred choked, his eyes watering as he felt his body turn icy cold as the demon's appendages entered every organ and vein in his body. He tried screaming, but choked further on the tendrils. He could feel the shadows crawling through his blood, burrowing into his bone.
He was choking, drowning on the demons tendrils.
It hurt, Creators, it hurt. Tears streamed down his face. The demon...it was going to take his body.
Alfred's struggled in vain, his head dropping back as his lungs burned.
The tendrils jerked, and Alfred's body arched up, his body in spasms as white-hot pain ripped through his body.
He screamed. Blindly Alfred struck out, his markings lighting up as he shouted obscenities, his mind racing with thousands of thoughts. It was minutes before he calmed down, but the need to hit something, anything remained.
Tears ran down his face as he wrapped his arms around himself. The feeling of something in his throat, in his body remained.
Suddenly he felt so violently sick. He ran from his room, pushing past Toris who was rushing towards his room.
He could hear him shouting something but he didn't care. His legs carried him to the washroom where they promptly abandoned him, he fell to his knees, the sounds of his vomiting filling the room.
He stayed like that for quite some time, not sure what awaited him once he would leave the room. They were gonna ask questions. And he didn't want to answer anything… he just wanted to be free of magic, angrily he punched the floor. "Fucking magic," he growled out as his body began to shake. He punched the floor again, and again, and again. But the feeling of something trying to merge with him didn't go away.
No one said a thing, which was fine by him. He didn't need their pity.
Toris had brought him his meal, and Alfred felt his stomach flip as he eyed the dish. He covered his mouth, a low groan escaping his lips. "Thanks," he managed to say weakly.
"If you don't like it I can—"
"No, no, it's fine, really." He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Just an upset stomach."
Toris nodded, but neither mentioned the incident from before.
"Do you need anything else?" he asked his eyes filled with concern.
"Naw, I'm fine, really." He looked away from Toris. "About before… I just wasn't feeling well. So really, don't worry."
Toris nodded. "If you would like to speak later, I'll be in the library."
Alfred truly did smile. It was weird, but comforting, to know that someone cared, truly cared.
Alfred sighed tiredly, running his hand through his freshly wet hair. He had ended up bathing after dinner. His skin had been rubbed raw, but the cold feeling in his veins remained.
He shivered, the feeling of being watched returning.
"Fuck you." He looked around the hall, his eyes narrowing. He hoped that bastard heard him.
Mindlessly he walked, his feet carrying him to Ivan's study.
He rested his forehead against the door, biting his lip anxiously. "I suck," he breathed out. The room wouldn't get rid of the demon. Nothing would.
Well that was a lie. He knew that Ivan could, and that pissed him off to no end. Still, the room practically radiated Ivan's presence. Maybe he could at least relax there. Quickly he looked behind, making sure that no one caught him entering the room. The last thing he wanted was them thinking he missed Ivan.
He opened the door and froze.
No way…
There he was, bent over, his back to Alfred.
For a brief second Alfred thought back to the faceless Ivan and that all-encompassing fear once again gripped his body. He ran towards Ivan, turning the man around.
Violet eyes. "Thank—I mean… hah," he laughed nervously, but it sounded more crazed than nervous. "You have a face."
"Yes, I have a face." He stood up, looking at Alfred with interested eyes. "Are you drunk?"
Alfred reached out, his hands trembling as he touched Ivan's face. He closed his eyes, a shaky breath leaving his lips. For a moment… for a moment he thought that the demon had come back.
He griped Ivan's face tightly as he remembered the feel of those tendrils forcing their way into his mouth and he paled.
Creators, he didn't feel well.
Alfred opened his mouth but felt his throat constrict. He shook his head. He needed to get out of here. He was freaking out again, he knew he was, but he couldn't stop it.
Ivan's arms fell to Alfred's back, pulling the elf against his chest.
"Didn't I tell you that I would come back before you broke?" he whispered into the elf's pointed ear.
He pulled back, lifting the elf's tear stained face. "I can make them go away. I can make sure they never hurt you again." He leaned down, his lips centimeters from Alfred's, his violet eyes boring into Alfred's crystal-blue.
He saw the unasked question in those eyes. This… this was something he had to choose.
It wasn't much of a choice. He needed Ivan, even if he didn't want him.
Alfred's body shook violently as he crushed his lips onto Ivan's. He cried into the kiss, the overwhelming feeling of relief filling him as Ivan deepened the kiss.
a/n: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! I actually felt like such a prick when I wrote this… sigh…