Tarock: Oh please! Tell me the theory! Dear… did I really write Hill?!?! Man.. .thanks… that is a big mystake! I will change it in a second ok? Haha! I knew it! My friend often confuses everything! Take that Sam! *Blume makes nasty sings to her friend* ;P Ooow… so you're from Europe? Cool! =D tell me more! is the weather nice there? Do they have elves? ^_~
A/N: I was reading in "defense of slash" by AC, it seems to me a very consistent work, and yeap now that we know the the categories, this is not a Personalization, but rather a horrible, horrible mix of Genre Shifting and Character Dislocation.
But hey! This have put me into a thoughtful state! Anyone out there would like to see slash here? ^_~
And yes, remembering we all hate Mary Sues I will try to describe other characters's reactions rather than the girls ok? (because I've come to that realization, the least you talk about your own characters, the better) I just ask all ppl around: let me know when they become too unbearable, ok?
I also went to see ROTK again and came to one conclusion about the ppl of Gondor and the coronation of Aragorn: Dear God, they were desperate!
/English/
'Sindarin or Quenya'
"Westron"
ThoughtsHello~o! there's Westron remember!?
a.k.a. what would really happen if someone landed on middle earth
Casualties in daily talk.
Frodo had tried to talk to the girl and so did Sam, but there was no case, she spoke a language they could not understand. Sam looked a little troubled; he expected all elves to speak fluent Westron; but after a while he realized only the girl's clothes were elven kind, and she was in fact a human (that was discovered by her lack of grace and her round ears). So Frodo, being the small, currently fragile, but always smart hobbit, sang one of his famous songs; songs that had gotten him in trouble before mind you, but that "Kpt'n Yack Ssparrow" (which was the only thing they understood in her long introducing speech) enjoyed a lot.
But Frodo was still hungry and the exertion (however little) drained him off all his energy, to which he began to mourn in his bed without being that obvious.
The impossible to be fooled Sam, glared at the girl (who was looking at everything but him) because it was her fault Mr. Frodo was ill again. And Mr. Frodo was a great nice person who didn't deserve being treated that way. Sam may not know it, but he will develop a great deal of courage. Starting now.
"Shoo!" he said bravely to the girl of the big folk. Said girl wasn't scared by Sam, on the contrary he found him rather amusing. Sam would have showed more of his courage had it not been by a loud shriek from out of the window.
"Pippin!"
/Tziganne! /
"My Food!"
The three occupants leave the room (yes, even Frodo) faster than any elf thought possible or any healer should recommend, and reached the center of the garden in no time.
Tziganne lay in the ground trying to rub her head, elbow and ankle at the same time while a rather shaken Pippin was lifted by his cousin.
"I told you to slow down..." patronized Merry. Jack approached her befallen friend.
/Umm... what's up?/
/Ouch/
/I see... What were you up to? /
/Nothing in particular/ replied Tziganne, /I was just walking around/
/And why the bandage? /Asked Jack, pointing to the white cloth in Tzi's ankle.
/Oh, that? I sprained my ankle and Aragorn bandaged it/ Said Tziganne quite proudly. Jack knelt down to inspect the ankle. /*hump* human work. See mine? Mine's real and I don't have to pretend I was randomly limping around the gardens/ she said showing the bandaged thigh Elrohir had tended a night ago; Frodo made a chocking sound (which probably had nothing to do with Jack's exposed flesh since he was swallowing all the food Merry had in his arms) but Pippin stared without remorse. Jack ignored them and continued to interrogate her friend.
/The only reason you don't limp now is 'cause you always limp whenever you go/ replied Tziganne.
/Skip. I skip, not limp/ argued Jack. /Let's get you out of this hobbit tangle anyway/ but when she was doing it Tziganne gasped. /I think I damaged my ankle this time for real/
Aragorn was conversing with Glorfindel when Jack approached them.
"Tziganne, hurt" she said. Aragorn acknowledged her and came to the conclusion this one was one of the unnerving guests Glorfindel told him about. "She's hurt? What happened to her?" asked Glorfindel, who in truth didn't want to spend more than what was necessary with the two girls.
"Ankle" replied Jack.
"Oh, that? It's nothing serious, I banged it already" said Aragorn. "Do not worry for your friend my lady, she's out of danger now" chuckled Aragorn. Jack understood enough to shake her head and said: "Nope. Tziganne. Pippin. Again ankle"
Translating that into a logical thought was not as confusing for Aragorn as many would have thought. Anything with the word Pippin in it meant damage. "Where?" asked the man.
"Garden" said the maiden. Aragorn nodded. "Glorfindel, could you escort this lad-" but Glorfindel was gone.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry" said Aragorn as he lifted Tziganne into his arms. Tziganne was a great actress, Jack confessed; any other in her situation would have drooled by now…
/See? I brought help. Are you happy now? / asked Jack.
/A lot. How may I pay the favor? /
/Getting oxygen and dying Legolas hair while he sleeps/
/He sleeps? /
/He must, besides, his chamber has a bed, so he should use it some time or the other/
/How do you know his chamber has a bed? /
/I'm finding myself with a lot of free time lately. Besides I was looking for the hobbits and happened to see him walking out of it/
/Really?…wait. What did you stole? / asked Tziganne knowing full well her friend was a psycho fan. /His shirt, and a nice looking ribbon. / said Jack showing her the mentioned ribbon. It was long and blue, and it was kept safe in one of her most secure places (her breast). As they talked, the little group reached the healing rooms. It was beautiful; there was no comparison to the sickening rooms if a hospital. Aragorn laid Tziganne in one of the tables and began taking the previous bandages. In contrast of his earlier revision, this time the ankle really looked red, and since Tziganne's skin was pale, it out looked more.
"The hobbits made this!?"
Jack and Tziganne didn't have to understand the language to understand the meaning. /yeah, it was Pippin/
"Pippin?"
/Yes, Pippin. / Aragorn nodded. It is amazing how people with different languages can have a normal conversation so easily.
/Ouch! /
"I'm terribly sorry" said Aragorn.
/I'm in heaven/ said Tziganne, very happy to be here again.
"I must have tied too tight, does it hurts you?"
/Man, your hands are incredibly soft-Ouch! /
"Sorry"
Just in that moment Elrond entered followed by Glorfindel, who was looking positively happy since Tziganne wasn't paying him attention and Jack was too busy glaring at Elrond to pay attention to him.
'I was just informed of the events' said the half elf.
/I'm not impressed by your hospitality/ said Jack.
'Estel will bandage that ankle again' he said indicating his foster son
/Oh, worry not, he will tend to it, but I cannot assure you Tzi won't be back in an hour/ said Jack.
'Shall we await them in the hall of fire?' asked Elrond, crooking his arm for Jack to take it. /all right I will go whenever you take me, but I hope it's your bed…/ Jack took gracefully *coughnotcough* Elrond's hand.
'I see you have improved your Sindarin' said Elrond, happy the girl understood his last phrases.
/I have no idea what you are talking about but I will nod anyway…/
And so, Jack left Tziganne in the confident hands of Aragorn…whether his hands were disinfected or not we do not want to know.
*Next day, next horrible day*
/Move on, I don't want to miss breakfast again/ said Tziganne pulling the bed covers.
/…Don't wanna…/ mumbled the pile of covers.
/C'mon! There's a great smell coming from the kitchens! I need Foo~d!/
/Alright… but you better wake up mum and dad… Mum has been tired lately… she had to read two books the other day in a single week for school and…/ Jack mumbled some more.
/Jack, your parents are not here. We are in Middle Earth remember? /
/REALLY!?/ Jack jumped out of bed to take a look form her balcony. Yes! They really were! /Oh my god! We are in-/
/We had this conversation yesterday and we ARE NOT, repeating it today. /
/Sport spoiler/
/Get dress and move on/
/Have you realized they didn't give us shoes? /
/No, I just like to walk shoeless and didn't bother to search in my provided closet/
/Oh really? Funny, I always thought you hated wearing no shoes. Oh well, do you think we would find some if we check your closet, because they certainly forgot to give me some/
/I was being sarcastic Jack. /
/…Oh. / Jack opened the closet and found just dresses, not a single pair of pants, not even a short. /…what happened to our clothes anyway? /
/I don't know, I think they burned them because they though they were indecent/
/They haven't seen my sister's clothes then…/ said Jack while she fought with the sleeves of a dark blue dress.
*sighs* /I fell so naked without my own clothes…/
/Does that mean you would rather be naked? / asked Tziganne.
/If it impresses Elladan and Elrohir, then yes/
/The twins? What happened to Legolas? I though you said you loved him? Don't tell me, it's for his hair-/
Jack wailed a little more and Tziganne didn't try to stop her. Some things were just fun to watch. Like those car accidents. Oh yeah, funny they are.
*Some time later, and certainly long after breakfast*
/It is incredibly the hastiness in which people can take you out of your good mood by just crossing your way don't you think? Said Jack clearly upset.
Pippin had created more problems in Rivendell than Lord Elrond might have had to face in all his elven life. In one of his escapes from Glorfindel, or the twins or the maids, or whoever he had angered, he ran into Jack and hide under her dress. Jack didn't stop him because for her, dresses were out of fashion and therefore no more considered clothes, and so, it was no different form hiding behind her legs. Besides it was kinda cute and funny.
To the Twins, however, it seemed it was a great matter.
Elladan turned around and managed to compose himself to greet Jack, but when Elrohir saw the hobbit feet coming out form under the dress he shrieked. soon, it all become a large fight between Pippin, who was desperately trying to get a good hold of the clothes and of Jack's leg, and the twins who frantically were trying to tear Pippin away, look at anywhere but Jack's legs and not blush, the three action at the same time. Finally out of desperation, Elladan, always the impatient one, took out his knife with the intention of ripping apart the part of the dress Pippin was holding to, but as soon as Jack saw the knife she shrieked, and tried desperately to get away from the twins with a hobbit still clung to her good leg. Elrohir tried to reassure her they were meaning no harm to her, and attempted to hold her steady by the waist when Elladan, still grabbing the knife, managed to trip with one of Pippin's feet, bumped into Elrohir, who then bumped into Jack, who lost balance and fallen on the nearby stairs along with the twins and the hobbit. Tziganne was about to comment in the absurdity of the nearby stairs when she noticed Lord Elrond himself was in the base of said stairs. Probably al the grunting sounds they made in their fall, plus a strange ripping sound, have alerted the Lord that something else was amiss in his house, again.
Pippin untangled himself from the mess of limbs and prepared to escape again when the hand of the older twin stopped him. Elrond no doubt planned on questioning his older first when he noticed his other son. 'Elrohir! I thought we have talked about this before? Whatever possessed you to do this?!'
Elrohir was still above Jack and his arm was still clutching possessively her waist, no doubt his father though… couldn't someone make an innocent deed nowadays?! He thought angrily. 'It is not what it seems father' he said.
'Then why haven't you released our guest yet?' replied Elrond. I was just catching my breath! Thought Elrohir as he lifted himself from Jack (who, for the record, hadn't complained for the slight pressure above her) before helping her stand. And that's when all her dress went down, apparently Elladan's knife was sharper than it look.
Elrond gasped and turned away immediately, Pippin stared at Jack without shame, at least until Elladan had the sense to cover the hobbit's eyes while he himself looked at another direction; the only one who was naïve enough to not go away was Elrohir. Who was fumbling with the straps of what remained of Jack's dress to make them look like a dress again. Jack's left arm was holding the straps up to her breast to cover herself while her other harm was busy slapping Elrohir's hands away from her. One thing was to desire all dresses destroyed. Another very different was to see them destroyed when you were wearing them, fall some stairs (which mean more brushes) and then appear almost naked in front of the Lord of the city.
Elrohir, more than embarrassed by now. (since more people than just Tziganne and Elrond had noticed the incident) bowed to Jack, took his own cloak off and offered apologetically to Jack, who in turn glared at him, snatched the cloak off him and tried to put it on as fast as she could, this time all present looked at another direction while she adjusted it to her frame, Elladan explained what have truly happened to his father and that in truth is wasn't Elrohir's fault, but Pippin's; said hobbit, once he saw another chance to escape, retreated away from Elladan, he was almost out of reach when the elf noticed him and made a dash for him. Pippin, being a small hobbit, had no opportunity to avoid the elf tackling him and yelped in pain. Whoever said the elves were light as feathers lied to him.
Jack, always the defender of lost causes, yelled at Elladan to let the hobbit go, hit Elladan a couple of times in his arm, carried Pippin the same way one carries little children, and after sending a dirty look at the presently confused elves, walked away with her friend muttering /hobbits are people too you idiots…/ whatever that could mean.
/Stupid males…/ muttered Jack while she checked Pippin had no serious injuries, /who do they think they are to threat a poor child this way?!/
/Er… umh… Jack? You do realize Pippin is not a child, don't you? / Tziganne asked her friend tentatively, Pippin was in hobbit's account, older than them for all she knows. Jack frowned at her. /don't be silly, Pippin is Pippin, and Elladan was mistreating him, you do not do that to small children! /
/yes, I know, but Pippin is NOT a kid… are you even listening to me? …come back here! Don't leave speaking to myself! / Jack stopped impatiently, waiting for her friend to finish her tirade.
/Are you done now? I have to change you know; just look at this! They destroyed my dress! My beautiful dress! / cried jack, holding pieces of what have been the sleeve. With her left hand she carried Pippin.
/But I thought you said you didn't like it …/ said Tziganne, looking with scrutiny at her friend's face, right now Jack looked distressed, angry, hurt and… where those tears in her eyes?! /Wait… are your hormones currently, right, Jack? /
/You just don't understand do you?!/ cried Jack.
/Understand what? / asked the black haired girl, but the only thing Jack did was yell at her more. /What? WHAT?! Everything! Everything's wrong! The air, the earth, even this damn dress is wrong! / And with that she ran (to an undetermined location) crying and hugging poor Pippin for as she was worth.
/…well that was weird. / said Tziganne.
The sun had gone by the time Tziganne decided to go in search of Jack. It must have been her crazy hormones, decided Tzi. Jack was normally crazy, all around freak, but this was even beyond her standards…most of the time.
But to her surprise, Jack wasn't in her room crying, as Tziganne supposed she would be, she wasn't in the gardens either, and dinner wouldn't take place until an hour or so.
She was about to go back to her room and wait until dinner to find her friend when she heard her laughing. She ran to the direction of the sound and turned a corner only to find Jack, happily by the arm of a sturdy, tall, but rather handsome rider. Boromir?!
The new identified man known as Boromir had Jack by his left arm, while his right was occupied by Pippin, who had embraced the man by his neck; Boromir's shield, surprisingly, was being carried by Jack herself. All in all, they looked like a perfect, happy, and disturbing family.
Seeing her friend was not going to go away soon, she left her to her craziness… is that giggling I hear?!
TBC…
(Ooopsss….) BTW, this chapter has an interminable amount of mistakes, every time I tried to check the spelling I found at least five new mistakes, so I expect to have a few… er… twenty something or so mistakes… -_-;