Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Its like looking at a Mirror
By Garden of Avalon
Chapter 7: The Blessing of Kohirumaki Karen
"If it's fine with you…"
"Huh?"
"Can you forgive me for what I did last time?"
A week had gone by since my visit on the Hikigaya residence, and a whole week since I entered the school. I didn't do much to be honest, the week was boring. However, an exciting prospect came up. At the end of this week would be the start of summer break.
Since my grades were fine, I wouldn't need to enter summer classes or something like that, which would mean this would be my first holiday, and I've only been here for a week! Anyway, the chance is good as any other opportunities.
See, there is something common in this world.
"Well? What's your answer?"
It's that everyone fall easily into the traps of social conduct. Yumiko looked baffled with her clique as I stood before them. Currently, I was bowing low enough for my face to be obscure as I extended an arm.
"K-Kohirumaki-san…"
Yui looked worried for some reason but I ignored her and focused at my target.
Miura Yumiko.
The resident queen bee of Sobu high (asides Yukino of course). Here I am, seeking forgiveness for my actions that I did last week. Truth to be told, I had been avoiding Yumiko just for this moment. A perfect chance to enter the clique's inner circle.
See, the thing I'm doing, the 108 Schadenfreude Skill Direct Confrontation Ver. 2, is quite suited for those situation. Social butterfly, such as Yui, and especially someone like Hayato and Yumiko, easily fall victims to the eyes of society.
As I seek forgiveness, she only had two options.
One, don't forgive me and look like an immature heartless brat in the eyes of others who sees her as someone who can't accept her flaws as I vocally voiced them out. And as it turns out, it was true.
Or the second option. To accept my apology as the seeds of poison run deeper. I would be a step closer within the inner clique, until I'm close enough to make them comfortable, and only then, I strike from within.
Of course, she doesn't know this.
And so, Miura Yumiko, what would be your answer hm? Are you brave enough to lose some social points or cast aside disdain for me whilst you get poisoned? Don't worry, either way, the illusion of that youthful moments you love so much will crumble.
The trouble with them is that, they are burdened with expectations of many other people, despite not vocally sounding it, the invisible force of expectancy is there. A giant is quite vulnerable no matter how big they are. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
"You know…me calling you out in your attitude.. "
I reminded her of her behavior, much to her chagrin, although she sighed this time.
"Its fine, I'm over it anyway." She huffed and crossed her arms. I made a mad grin. Teehee~
There it is! The pedestal I've placed her on. She felt like she was atop, she felt like she managed to handle this in a mature manner! What a delusional girl, but I'll let her enjoy her glory.
Because even though the Queen sits at the throne, one must remember that behind every great figure lies an even more greater figure. In this case, a snake slithering the Queen.
"Man, I'm so glad!" I chirped, scratching my head while laughing like an idiot as I opt my 'Normal High school girl's trope. "I shouldn't have gone over board either. It's a bad habit of mine."
Not really.
"So…friends?"
Empty lies.
I extended my hand with a sweet smile.
"…Yeah…"
She took it. She took my hand and awkwardly shook it! Oh you have no idea how good this is!
Though the Queen was gracious enough to grant pardon, she quite oblivious to the snakes now gathering at her feet.
"In fact, let me make it up to you, I want to get to know you better. Are you free for summer?"
See, being aggressive in the social standings is quite effective. What I'm doing disgusts even myself, and especially Hachiman, knowing him.
"On the first three days, I'm busy but-"
"Sunday then?!"
"Yea-"
"Great!" I chirped and fished out a card from my breast pocket, before placing it at her desk. "That's my number. We should totally meet up at the mall within town! I would like to get to know you better!"
"…Yeah sure…"
Yumiko looked weird seeing as I'm suddenly asking her to hang out. That is also one of the things I dislike about the social conduct. When a classmate you're not really aware off ask for your time with the intention of bonding to be new friends, they suddenly feel so discomfort in doing so.
But what if someone like Hayama ask?
Kya!~ anything for you Hayato-kun!
Sure thing Hayato-kun!~
LET ME BEAR YOUR CHILD!
GEEZ.
I shuddered in disgust within , but I remained smiling outside. As I was getting ready to leave the classroom, I gazed at Hachiman. He sat on his sit lazily, not paying attention. What should he care for what happens to Yumiko, or what I'm even doing?
Our relationship has been reset already.
The things we've experienced as a child was gone, the memories, the heart felt moments, the bond we made. It was probably best for both of us. Clinging to our old memories would only breed more pain, aware of the fact someone you loved so much suddenly change.
Hachi was always smiling, a boy breeding with life, in fact, without him, Hykh wouldn't have stayed intact. We were a group of neglected children, each in our own different ways…except Hachi. He was the bright light in our dark childhood.
However, he is no longer Hachi in my eyes. He's changed. The name 'Hachi' would always be engraved in my heart, but just that. A sweet memory. I remembered the nights he consoled me, how he introduced me to PB, how he was there even after I lost sight of my way. That is, until I moved away of course.
He is now Hikigaya Hachiman, a loner. Just like me. In his eyes, I too have changed. I was always a broody girl to be honest, looking back at least. I didn't have friends due to my birth defect, but I've always tried to look for the positives, but alas, the world was wrong. Not me. Hachi and Hykh was there.
But now, I'm just a shell of my former self. No longer weak, no longer afraid of others, as I take the initiative to break apart this illusion we call youth. I want peace, a solid lone territory. However, with all the noise outside my kingdom, it's pesky.
So it's my duty to change that.
At the very least, shift the tides to turn them for the best. Because once they are poisoned, they die. Then, they can choose rise above my poison. Once everyone is poisoned then!...only then, true peace.
Super peace! [1]
Speaking of change….
I eyed Hayato.
Even in my eyes, 'Hero' had changed. The moniker bestowed by us all had indeed fitted him more then before. What was once an ironic joke now turned into a rotten reality. Out of all, he and Yog-Sothoth had changed the most.
What was once a loner like us, he is now beyond us, out of our reach. He belongs in the heavens now. That is…where he belonged after all. It's not my fault he couldn't help someone in his past. He was so keen on helping this girl in elementary school.
I wasn't into my Schadenfreude motto at the time, but I was just starting. It's not my fault he couldn't handle the toxic I've planted. See, Hayato used….no….Hero, Hero used to be…mesmerizing even. While he was much like a loner, he always tried his best to fit into society.
Not because he needs.
Because he wants.
In the world of Loners, he truly was one of a kind. He was aware by brooding like that is what Loners do, he needed to take the next step to rise above this loneliness. Where do you think I learned to take initiative from?
Anyway, he tried. Quote, tried.
But it would seem his rotten values kept him from doing so. Still, he searched for…It. The one thing us Loners desire. The sense of…IT. I'm sure you guys are aware of it right?
The value of something genuine in his life.
That changed however, when he met this girl in elementary school. She was his childhood friend due to his parents work with that girl's parents. They were close, too close in fact. He was becoming something he wasn't. Not out of his desire, rather, the environment.
It was so sickening.
It was so…revolting.
It was….fake.
Something that stood beyond his ideals. He was walking a path that he didn't want to, and what's worse was that…he was aware of it.
I won't have any of it.
And so, for the first time, my Schadenfreude skill was used.
I twisted everything, I destroyed their illusion, and when they can't face reality…
It's not my fault they can't face it. I did nothing wrong. I tipped the tower for them, because I knew that it was better off to live in a bitter reality, then in a sweet dream. Because dreams are just that, dreams. And so…he changed.
We drifted apart, Hykh was torn without Hachi around and thus we move forward, in a different path from before. To change is to leave one's past self behind, however, I do not abide by that law. Changing is never good, even if it's for the greater good.
Because you left your shell behind to be something more beautiful. In an essence, you left behind your flaws. You don't embrace it, you discard it to be better.
Me?
Heaven's no.
I'm broken, but that's what I am. I choose to fix up my broken state, and now you find me where I am today, because I never change. Rather, my childhood, both the dark times and my time with Hykh, was a process of fixing, a process of healing, a process of…experiencing the reality of this world.
In fact, I'd rather say Hachiman and I are the ones that changed least. Hopefully. Hayato and Yog-Sothoth is a lost case already. As I left the classroom, I closed the door behind me. Now then…
What can I do to get into the clique?
Remember, I do not poison those who are not salvageable. I do not wish to poison Hayato in respect of him as a person (lmao), but I can do it on Yumiko. One day, there comes a time where she will abandon all senses and confess up her affection for Hayato.
That will, for sure, end in ruins. I don't want. She needs to experience the reality of this harsh world. She must. She will. She needs. She should, no, everyone should be grateful, as I'm lending a helping hand. I am after all, a good person.
Teehee~
They should be grateful to be honest. And if not…
Well…
That's a bonus for me. My poison breeds hurt, pain and disdain, electing a natural reaction of me being outcast. That was my main goal from the very beginning. Besides, I was never part of them any way. Friends? Closed ones? Loved ones?
There's no such thing.
I was never emotionally invested anyway.
This is not a story of where one gets past their problem, this is a story, where one fixes their problems.
No matter how ugly it may be.
They say that first impressions are important. What the hell does that even mean? So you mean to tell me that if I were to wear ragged clothing you would think ill of me? Does that mean the elitist you says 'don't judge a book by its cover' are not following their own words?
Stupid normalfags, go to hell!
So what if I choose to wear weird clothing? That automatically means that they are indeed superficial, and appearances does mean everything. Such fakeness needs to die already. Just like this stupid heat. As I gazed at the sun, I sighed heavily.
I stood before a large mall with people eyeing me weirdly. I looked at a window to eye my reflection momentarily. Today I don a black one piece blouse with long sleeves and slight puffed up sleeves and frills with a matching black long skirt. Below I wore leggings and black flats to match the colour, and wore black gloves. Finally, an umbrella was held up above me, oh and don't forget my favorite scarf, Rotten Fellows [2], though it was in it's summer form. Finally, atop my head was a large, white coloured summer hat.
Contrast to wool, it was made from a different material, close to towel but fluid and thin enough to be a scarf, hand made mine you.
Got to love Gucci.
And boy did I look emo (lmao).
Anyway, what struck odd was my face. I wasn't really good with make up, so long story short, too much powder, too much lipstick and eyeshadow, I became a clown despite my (usual) ravishing looks. I was tempted to go without makeup but…
I wanted to see how Yumiko would react.
Speaking of the devil, I saw her ahead, texting on her phone. Seriously how do some people walk whilst doing that? Are psychic? Or did they have The Allmighty? [3]
Anyway, she looked beautiful, befitting of the Queen Bee. She wore a pink summer dress with a dark blue blouse and black sandals whilst carrying a purse. A string was tied around below her bust, which honestly made them stand out even more. Seriously, girl got a nice figure.
Anyway, she took notice of me, before recoiling a bit.
What?
That bad?
"You looked over dressed."
Sparing no mercy, she eyed me head to toe. I shrugged and said, "I dislike showing skin. I feel conscious about it and I'm no good with the sun."
"An umbrella, a long skirt…and a summer hat. Whilst standing in the blazing heat of summer. Nothing out of the ordinary."
"Really-"
"Like hell it is!"
"Ah. Shame."
She huffed and crossed her arms as she eyed my face.
"And what's with the make up?"
"I can't do make up for myself to save my life, but I want to make a good first impression…"
"Well you're doing a horrible job."
"Gee. Thanks."
"Like, let's get you cleaned up first."
"Fine~"
Though I gagged mentally, I decided to endure it.
"Oh and I'm expecting a third guest."
Now in normal circumstances, that was a horrible move. You see, when you are having a friend agreeing to hang out, and then suddenly they brought another person without prior advanced notice, that could lead you to all sorts of bad vibes.
People expect that you would only go with the designated invited friend, what's worse is that, no matter what, one of them would always end up as the third wheel. However! The person I called wasn't just an ordinary one!
"Honestly if I knew you would be calling me here out of nowhere, I wouldn't have come-"
"…."
Yumiko blinked at the voice ahead of us. Hachiman stood before us with a stoic face, before twitching an eyebrow. "S'cuze us~" He said awkwardly before yanking me away. Hey! That hurts! At least pull harder!
"You have thirty seconds to explain before I turn tail and leave."
"I want to hang out-"
"Omae wa mou Shindeiru."
"N-Nani?!" [4]
Hachiman stood straight and was about to leave when I grabbed his hand and hissed.
"Did you just hissed at me?"
"Yes! Please! Stay! I need a third opinion!"
"Third?"
"Ah, it's Hikio."
Yumiko pointed out casually as she eyed me.
"Anymore?"
Of course. How could I forget. It's one of the things I've noticed about the Queen Bee. It was her 'No nonsense' attitude. Though she is very much shrouded in the illusion we called youth, she was one of the more…hm…evolved ones?
Kinda like her Kakuja. [5]
See, Yumiko doesn't expect anything out of a person (asides when she ones something or assert her power), she doesn't over think things, like whether strangers had an intention of hurting you, or they have planned something in their mind, or how Loners think of people like her revolting.
Including me and Hachiman.
She simply doesn't care.
Either it goes her way, or go high way, simple.
"Ah, yeah?" I replied with a question. "Um…who the heck is Hikio?"
"Your cousin duh."
…
….
…
She spoke as if it was the most obvious thing ever. Hachiman saw this coming for sure, so he didn't looked hurt at all.
"Kuh…"
So it was a lie?! What happened to your low expectancy of others regarding you?!
"Erm…Hikigaya Hachiman." I reminded. Seriously, it's like that Tobe guy calling Hachiman Hikitani. I mean, who the hell is even this Hikitani?! Where did they get that in the first place?!
"Oh."
What's with the lame response Yumiko?! Shouldn't you like, apologize or something?!
"I knew that."
….
Ah?
Hachiman looked stupid, and so did I. We both stared at her as she casually flicked her hair and stared at a distance.
"Lets get going yeah?"
"R-Right…"
And like a servants, we obeyed her orders.
"But first, let's get Kohirumaki-san sorted. She looks stupid."
Ouch!
"She is."
Hachiman! Support me here!
After a quick trip to the girls bathroom, we were standing at a secluded corner. Overall, Yumiko cleaned my face and rid off my summer hat. Hey! That was three dollars on eBay! Pay up!
"…You look like you're dressed for a funeral…"
Yumiko scanned me again as I hugged my sides.
"I dislike showing skin."
"Coughsleptwithmecough."
Hachiman's subtle words did not go by Yumiko who stared at him.
"What?"
"Oh…um…cough!"
And then he faked cough in an attempt to hide his snarky comment. Yumiko stared at him for a bit, before going back to me.
"Why the dress?"
"Does it matter?"
"It's summer. You could get heat stroke."
"Well it's better then my skin being burnt. Luckily I wore lots of sunscreen today~"
"Ah, so that's what smells like coconut. She's Coco and nuts anyway. Heeheee, Hachiman you are a genius…"
I didn't hear Hachiman's ramblings as he spoke to himself in a creepy manner.
Anyway, Yumiko crossed her arms and said, "So, what are the activities for the day?"
Not wasting time I see. I closed my umbrella seeing we were indoors as I said, "Well, my intention was getting to know you better. We could do that as we shop around for my house?"
"Shop?"
"Not groceries. I moved in recently see, and I need some help and opinions regarding my furniture's or whatever I could find."
"Then why is Hikio here?"
"Yeah, why is Hikio here?"
Yumiko spoke up, followed by Hachiman chiming in as he eyed me with annoyed eyes.
"I could be lounging in the room right now, with my air conditioned room whilst I'm playing my games or something…"
Hachiman spared no lies and honestly spoke out his desire as Yumiko eyed him weirdly. See, it was weird for normalfags to see people resting or lazing around during the summer times. Unlike outside the Asian countries, usually, say, the United States has extended summer vacation, whilst shorter winter ones.
In here, summers don't last that long, whilst we have extended winter break. Logically, why would anyone want to go out on the cold days? Which is why summer is the time to go out. However, that itself is a flaw. Summer is used for days of taking a break. You could have hung out on normal days.
Therefore, going out in summers is a waste of energy.
At least that's how the normalfags works nowadays.
But today was an exception because I have a goal in mind.
"What kind of person spends time indoors during summer?" The Queen Bee spoke up.
""Me.""
Hachiman and I answered in sync.
"Not everyone thinks like you ya' know?" I inquired and hugged her arms. "Summers are meant to take rests from the daily life of youth. Logically you would want to spend more time taking the rest you deserved."
"…That sounds weird. Like, don't you want to hang out with your friends?"
"What is friends to be exact?"
"People who you hang out with."
"So just simply hanging out is worthy to call them friends?"
We started walking with Hachiman in tow.
"What is the definition of friends to you anyway?"
"Someone who you hang out, gave a good time and is fun to be with."
Isn't that the same thing but in different words? I visibly recoiled in disgust with Hachiman. Too much! That shitty youths reasoning! She really is a normalfag!
"Is that so? I think that isn't enough to be honest. Acquaintances is the more accurate depiction."
"You seriously speak like Hikio."
"Ah?"
"What?"
How the hell does she know how Hachiman speaks?! I whipped my head towards Hachiman with a look of betrayal, before enclosing my self towards him.
"How could you do this?!"
"Why does it sound like I've committed adultery?"
"She knows your methods of speaking you oaf."
"…Maybe because she finally noticed the true, good and real deal of a man?"
"But you're supposed to be my ideal man you twat!"
"Fuck off!"
"You know I'm here right?" Yumiko reminded and rubbed her temples. "Besides, it isn't too difficult to distinguish his way of speaking seeing he mutters creepily."
"Ah, never mind, faith restored."
"Bitch!"
Hachiman spat at me as I giggled back.
"Seriously, I don't go out in general unless I have any agenda's or planned activity." I answered Yumiko who made a satisfied nod.
"I guess I know a little bit more about you."
"I guess you did~"
No you didn't.
"So let's get going yeah? But before that…why Hikio?"
"He's my cousin, and he has good taste in housings."
"Hmph! Finally some recognition."
"And I want him to choose my underwear too."
*Hmph! I take that back."
Skipping ahead, we find ourselves in a clothing store. Hachiman stuck to me, using me as a scape goat whenever an employee would come over to ask for something, seeing my social skills are much more better compared to his.
As I picked a shirt, I rubbed my fingers on it.
"This isn't Gucci or Prada, the materials aren't that elite you know…"
"I was raised on them. It's my first time picking up clothes for myself. Miura-san, can you help me out?"
"What?"
"Does this black turtleneck suit this checkered long skirt or-"
"Why would you wear a bright, kilt checkered skirt with a turtle neck?!" She fumed as if she was a fashion police. "I mean, it's horrible!"
"Its my first time doing this okay? Besides, I don't like showing much skin!"
"Why?"
"Because…it'll look weird…"
"How so?"
I rolled my eyes.
Then I quickly unzipped my back and bared my chest towards Yumiko who widens her eyes.
"Why are you opening it here?!"
"What? You wanted to know why right?"
"But not in the ope- why the hell are you ogling your cousin?!"
"Ah, um…errr…I was staring at Mt. Fuji?"
"Follow me!"
Yumiko dragged me as I winked at Hachiman who had a tinge of red in his cheeks, before looking away. Boys would be boys~
Anyway, as I was placed within the changing room with Yumiko, she huffed and eyed me with an annoyed expression. "Why the hell did you do that?!"
"I just said-"
"I get it! But why in public?!"
"Because skin ship is one of the best ways to get closer to someone?"
"Yeah that's taking it too far…" Yumiko dead panned. I giggled in response as she was ready to leave the changing room.
"I'll get some clothes for you to try on."
"Thanks."
"…. Kohirumaki-san…"
"Karen is fine."
"Karen then…"
"What is it?"
"What are you after?"
"Getting to know you better…"
"…Is that so?" She mused and turned to face me. "I'm not exactly the…err…nicest as you said, but there is one thing I dislike."
"Oh?"
"Its when people have ulterior motive. It sickens me to be honest. I simply don't have time for that."
"…."
My silence was a rather dangerous answer, however, that isn't always the case. I turned around as she faced my back, before I lowered my head.
"Tell me…what is the definition of friends?"
"This again?"
"Yeah…it's that again…" I mused, before lowering my top to expose my back towards her. "To be honest, I don't even know the definition of such word. Which is why I asked you. At the very least…I wanted to have a normal one…"
Yumiko eyed my back, before a short gasp escaped from her. My skin was exposed, however, it was pale. Unusually pale, too pale for normal standards as well. And if you look closely, there were strands of white at the roots of my hair.
"Growing up, I didn't have many friends due to my birth defect and odd scar…"
"S-Scar?"
I removed my scarf.
A gasp was heard.
There was a scar. Around my neck, to be specific, circling my neck. It was as if I tried hanging myself or someone tried to choke me, or even tried to behead me with a knife. As I tilt my head back, I eyed her dead in the eyes.
"This is the first time in years since I've told anyone about this. The scar is hidden due to my long hair, one of the reasons why I kept them long and coloured it black is due to this. Which is why I ask you for the definition of friends."
I lowered my head again as I felt my heart ache as my body shook a bit. I've never done this before, so it was a first for me….however….I….
"Even in this ugliness, even with my disability, even in my flaws, even in my twisted personality…"
I want…
"Will you…accept me? As….me? Even in the eyes of the masses, even in the eyes of society…could you perhaps…
I want…. !
"Be a true, genuine friend to me?"
I have no one. That is why….!
"…Why me?"
"B-Because…I've hurt you before and…you were willing enough to forgive me and even accept my invitation to get to know you better…"
I felt my eyes becoming moist.
"I-Its sudden but…I've never done this before…"
The silence was all I got, before a hand lands on my shoulder.
"…Of course…"
Feh?
"F-For….real?"
"Of course. I don't lie." Yumiko said with a warm smile, before blushing a bit as she turned tail.
"L-Lets get that clothes of yours okay? And clean yourself up!"
As the footsteps dispersed, I clenched my chest as my shoulders violently shook. I felt my heart ache as I bit my lip. T-That was….I….my first time…..
And….my heart….
My eyes. Moist.
My heart, aching in a foreign, yet familiar manner.
I've…I've…
She….if she could see me right now…I am truly happy…
Ha.
So happy…
Haha!
So happy!
Hahahahaha!
That she didn't see my mad grin.
What the hell was that?! Pouring my feelings? As that all it took to capture her heart?! Too damn easy! Such normalcy! In the eyes of a humans weakness, truly they can shift within a blink of an eye. However, is that truly genuine?
What mind of person changes within a split second? Fake! Such fakeness!
My heart ached….with laughter!
My eyes moist….whilst holding back a laugh!
Ha!
So easy.
Schadenfreude 108 Skill, The Pity!
You see, the shitty youths are filled with so much empty lies that they could switch within a blink of an eye!
Oh look! Look at the freaky girl!
And then they saw someone being bullied.
Ew! Bullies are seriously the worst!
Such hypocrites.
As I cleaned up myself, I noticed a pair of clothes above the changing room. Hmph. The poison has been seeded deeper, and is slowly coursing through the body. Perfect. I would have never shown my weakness.
Never.
Ever.
…
And then I peeked my head out.
"Hachiman, can you pick a pair of underwear for me? The fancy ones with garter belts?"
"What? Why me?"
"Don't you want to see me in it?"
"On it."
"Scum!"
So apparently Yumiko finds my straight forwardness weird.
"Right right…so I'll be buying these!" I chirped and placed a stack of clothes onto the counter. The clerk eyed me in a surprised manner, before shrugging as she began scanning the set of clothes. Yumiko and Hachiman eyed me weirdly as I grinned. "Its okay, I'll pay for yours too!"
"I didn't buy anything."
"And I can pay for myself. Why did you buy everything? Like, it was just test runs for most of them…"
I took out my wallet from my purse and placed a platinum card onto the counter as I said, "Well having all covers all options don't you think?" before I turned towards the clerk. "Does this place do delivery?"
"No-"
"Okay then!"
One quick message later and showing the clerk the message, the three of us left the store without any of our items that we purchased.
"What the hell?" Hachiman inquired as he eyed me suspiciously.
"I simply asked someone from home to pick it up. I gave a bonus to the clerk if she does a good job."
"…You're quite loaded aren't you?" Hachiman spat in a mocking tone as I smirked at him.
"Hmph! The Kohirumaki Family is a conglomerate business company mind you. We have many business partners and many forms of getting money, be it clothing line, mining, corporate work, and even education, in this case, Sobu High."
"That sounds nice." Yumiko chimed. Indeed it was, the benefits are large, but so was the burden. Why did you think I left home with three platinum's with me? Teehee~
Mother doesn't really care so as long as we do good in our education and public image. Silly mother, those who care for public images are simply normalfags insecure about themselves. They keep up good appearance for the sake of the acknowledgement of society, which isn't that important to begin with.
I was blessed to look beautiful since birth anyway, so I wouldn't know.
Teehee~
Anyway, the three of us carried on our walk, before we arrived at the residential Ikea within the mall. "Furniture's huh…how empty is your house anyway?" Hachiman questioned. "Better yet, is this why you asked me to come along."
"Yeah, you have good eyes for furniture's and house applicants."
"And how would you know that?"
"Do you still dream on becoming a house husband?"
"Of course!"
"Then a true house husband would know what to pick suited for their family no?"
"You're not family."
"Ouch. Then what am I then hm?~"
"I can't say relative because that's the same as a family…nor can I say friend because we're no longer bonded. What are we anyway?"
"Acquaintances at best?"
"I loathe to admit it but all I know you is by name I suppose. I refuse to use the memory we have as an example because that would be looking back at the past, and I'm not going to do that…"
So you loathe to have known me then?!
"Maybe someone that I shouldn't have known?"
That's the same as acquaintances!
Though a cruel statement, Hachiman has a point. I don't know the term friends, let alone proper or loose acquaintances. Can someone whom you've talked to once be called an acquaintance? Let alone someone whom you had though to have cherished?
Source: Me and Hachiman.
What are we to be exact? I would use closest strangers, but that isn't possible anymore as our relationship has been reset? What is the exact term for it? Shit!
Oh well.
Instead of using loose labels, let's just use the facts we have now.
"Cousins. Nothing more, nothing less. Just cousin."
"But that's the same as a family."
"Ah ah! You forget Hachiman, what is exactly 'family' hm?"
And there was the opening! The snake slithered around the panda, scanning the situation for an opportunity to strike!
"Family is someone whom you love. Period."
The chiming of Yumiko was heard as she eyed the two of us weirdly.
"Like, you have an odd view. Rather than that, you over think things. Sometimes you just have to take that jump ya' know?"
What jump woman?! The leap of faith in life? The drive to just DO IT?! Like that meme?
False.
You can't simply leave your heart and mind to 'chance' and take that 'jump', if you readers are catching my drift. Of you do, you'll end up falling from a high place.
Source: me.
I've confessed once.
It didn't worked out.
I was thrown out of a high place for goodness sake, that is why, to leave it to 'chance' is simply stupid.
"That so? Life isn't so easy to see things that way…" Hachiman muttered, though he got a stare from Yumiko.
"What?"
"Err...oh look! A kitchen counter. I'll go on ahead!"
Hachiman used the crucial survival skills for us Loners, to retreat as soon as possible when the going gets tough. In fact, for him, retreat anyway. Unlike him, I don't do that. I'm not passive at all anyway. The Queen been eyed Hachiman weirdly, before shrugging.
"So what are you looking for?"
"Beds, kitchen stuff like counters, stove, utensils, any house applicants. My new apartment was blank to be honest."
"Then how did you sleep?"
"I stayed over with…an acquaintance. Her mother was honestly terrifying."
"What about this one? It looks cute."
"Ah, no. Wood doesn't do good in an apartment unless well maintained. If Karen wants an easy time, it's easier to get stone all the way."
"Why is it like that?"
"Wood can accumulate fungus if untreated properly, much less worse when you have stains. It's easier if it's rock-"
"Or granite!"
"Or granite."
The three of us eyes some kitchen counters and stoves, browsing through the many contents of Ikea. Time to time, I would envision that I owned everything in the store, running around like a kid, before plopping myself on a bed.
"Oooh this is fluffy."
"It does look comfortable-" though Yumiko spoke up, she was interjected by Hachiman shaking his head. "What?"
"Fluffy beds, whilst comfortable, is quite the hassle to clean up, especially when you're living alone and have to clean the bed sheet. Karen, how many times in a week do you do a house cleaning?"
"In a week?"
"….You do house cleaning weekly right?"
"…."
Err…..
Yeah about that….
"Um…once a month I guess?"
"Disgusting."
"Like, that's gross."
Heeeeeeyyyyy! Don't judge me! I mean…um…like, when it's still usable it's good right? Right?!
Hachiman sighed and said, "Ugh why do I even bother…"
"Fine I'll change!" I flailed my arms childishly as we progressed forward. After finishing our conquest, I ordered and purchased the ones I was interested in and process of elimination done by Hachiman, we found ourselves sitting in a nearby café, specifically, the one my parents owned. Remember? In chapter one?
"Coffee, black, no sugar."
"Coffee with condensed milk."
"Latte."
We ordered, and took out sit in one of the booths before relaxing back. "That was fun." Yumiko chimed as she took a moment to lean back. As I rested my head onto the table, Hachiman eyed me.
"Is that all?"
"Well we got bed, kitchen stuff, and cupboards and all sorted out, so I think it was a good run for the day. Man I'm beat, it'll be a solid three months before I do this again."
"You guys are lazy. Like, don't you want to go out? No outings even?"
"Nah, I'm above those things. It doesn't benefit much."
Hachiman made a nod of agreement as Yumiko eyed me again.
"There you go again, like, that weird way of talking. What's up with that?"
"Its speaking facts Miura-san. See, when you do an outing with a friend, what does it do? Bonding? How does merely having a 'fun' time equals to bonding? You don't do much asides fooling around."
I eyed my drink as our drinks were served.
"See, bonds is a subject that is considered loose in my book. Just because you had fun with someone doesn't automatically make you close to them. Is that even their true self? No, it's not if someone asks. It's mask they wear constantly."
"How-"
"Like you for example. You were easily frustrated when I called out on you."
I made a wry smile.
I made a mad grin.
"It shows you're a bratty person, and can't take others opinion, short tempered if things don't go your way and you simply like to be above others."
"I get the point!"
"However, you still forgave me despite my doings. In doing so, that makes you genuine. You showed me your true colours, even if you still wear the mask right now."
"…"
"See what I mean? You're not afraid to voice out your opinion of my odd way of thinking, and I won't hold back in calling out yours either. That itself, is what I think it means to be friends."
"…Hmmm…"
Ah.
This is good, she's considering my methods of thinking. She is slowly understanding me. This is it! The true way of actual bonding. However…
"Tell me, do you think of your clique as friends?"
"Well duh."
It's not enough.
But I'll take it slow this time.
"I think not on the contrary," I pointed out as Yumiko eyed me weirdly. "Do you know about the two side characters who's name I've forgotten? Or Tobe the dumbass? Or Ebina the decent? Or even Hayama-kun? The shiny Riajuu. Do you know who they are?"
That's right, think about it. Doubt the friendship you've made. It's not real Yumiko, all of them, the spirit of youth, the joy, it's all fake!
"Well they are good people. Tobe is quite stupid but his energy is appreciated…"
So a hyper dumbass.
"Ebina's a good girl, despite her…erm…tendency."
…
"Hayato-kun…well…he's amazing. Of course I know them."
I visibly grimaced at her response, but made a strained smile. "That so? Well that's good (not really), I'm happy for you (not really), glad to know you have good friends."
"Yeah-"
"But that's just on the surface. At least, in my opinion."
Yes! The look of that disturbed and surprised look! Push me! Push me away so I can attain that solitary as I destroy that illusion of yours!
Why should I care what happens to them anyway? Soon enough, they will, one way or another at some point in their life, experience the reality we call 'life'. High school friends drift apart once they go to university, or even beyond. The bonds in high school they say, makes up for their future.
Fat chance.
What are the chances of one connecting with their social network they made in school? Slim chance obviously, because university itself is a different ground. Life however, will always move forward. Therefore, they will face that harsh reality anyway.
I'm just giving them a head start! They should be grateful to me!
Hachiman seemed to be staring off. That's right, on normal days, he would probably retort along the lines of me 'not getting into other people's business'. Sure, but he doesn't care for me, nor Yumiko or anyone. It's simply his way of being passive added with the fact we're nothing more than strangers.
Which would mean he would have no reason to object, nor agree with me. It's how relationship resetting works anyway. Not that I care how Hachiman is. Maybe. I think? Do I really care?
Maybe for his wellbeing? Or his health? But that doesn't exactly mean caring does it? It's simply being polite. So the question ponders on me now. What are we? Cousins, just that? A mere simple label?
Rather than that….
How do I feel about him anyway?
I gazed at him.
….
….
….
Cant say I feel anything. The resemblance to Hachi is strong, yet he's not Hachi. No matter what, even Hachiman thinks so, we can't deny we we're close once upon a time. Reflecting to those memories is fine, but to cling or to even act out those memories is a huge no-no in our book.
See, one must always reflect on their past, but not use it or even cling to it. Like Hachiman and I, we recall our rotten memories, yet we don't even hold them heavily in our heart, unlike other people in this world.
Which would mean that Hachiman and I are not classified as someone who is stuck on the past. Which would mean we are moving forward in life. We've been through those hardships anyway. People like Yumiko, to be honest, I pity them.
They simply don't know what awaits them. But it's fine, I'll give her the landing hand soon enough.
"Surface?" Yumiko questioned.
"Well everyone has their own set of dark secrets or real self."
"What?"
"Take me for an example. I'm quite weird and disturbing to be around. Say I didn't approach you, would you have offered a hand in friendship?"
"…"
"See? No one likes when the truth is exposed. However, I carry myself at my sleeve Miura-san. That way, there is a 100% guarantee that I do not have any ulterior motives whatsoever. Because this is me."
"Well…um…"
Ah.
She's thinking about it.
Good.
"Well, that's how I view things. It's always nice to look from another set of perspective time to time, because if you merely see a person for what they are, you won't be ready to accept for who they are."
Yumiko eyed me with a thinking gaze, taking a sip from her drink, before nodding. "Well if that's how you see it…"
Ah?
"Then I guess that's you then?"
So simpleminded!
Hachiman actually let's out a stifle of laugh, before sighing out. And then our eyes connected.
What?!
Nothing. It's just you underestimated one thing my cousin.
What is it?!
You didn't see things from her perspective.
….
You see you toxic troublemaker, unlike you, I do not act upon the labels that society has placed on people. Like Yumiko being a typical normalfag, or Yukinoshita a strong person. I mean, what kind of expectations do I expect from them? To act out on those?
See, I hate myself.
I hate that I've even placed a label onto Yuigahama and Yukinoshita, and even to you. Because one way or another…
Everything isn't as it seems.
You are good at piercing through the illusion of youth, and you are certainly a dangerous for as you tread in between the lines of loner and socially active, however, you are not a true loner.
What?
You claim to have helped people, simply by you making an intervention in their social activities and relationship. It won't help. You are not a help either. You're just some uptight bitch that is forcing down your views of the world onto other people.
And how would you know hm? You barely have any experience with normal people, whilst I danced on their bodies.
Hachiman, I love you.
But seriously.
When is that charade going to stop?
When is that charade going to stop?
?
Right back at you.
Though our gaze looked simple, it held a deeper meaning. I couldn't help but giggle and poked his nose and pinched his cheeks a bit.
"You're so cute when you're besting me."
"That so?"
"I have some points too you know~"
A cough interrupted our excessive display of creepy incest/lover-like affection. Yumiko eyed us with an awkward gaze as she said, "Um…what side did you come from anyway?"
Understanding her question, I released Hachiman and placed my chin atop my intertwined fingers.
"My mother would be-"
"The sister of Hachiman's Mother."
Its like looking at a Mirror
By Garden of Avalon
Chapter 7.5: The Blessing of Kohirumaki Karen
The trio blinked as a voice cuts in. And then they eyed two people outside their booth. For one thing, the one who spoke, was a…little girl. She looked twelve to be honest, and had long flowing black hair reaching her ankles and has crimson red eyes. She adorned a purple kimono with butterfly designs [6].
Behind her was beautiful woman, about the height of Hachiman and Karen. She wore a long skirt maid outfit with blonde hair tied at the base of her backside neck with a black bow, with blonde hair and blue eyes. She looks like a foreigner to be honest.
The little girl smiled at them, instantly widening the eyes of Karen who froze at spot. Her eyes swirled with emotions instantly, which Hachiman picked up easily. She was disturbed...no….it was something.
It was fear.
The little girl smiled at the trio, before she eyed Hachiman.
"Its been too long, Hachi."
"Ah?"
"Ah, you must've forgotten me? That's a shame Kagami didn't visit me anymore…"
"Kagami? Kaa-san?"
"Indeed."
"Are you lost little girl?"
Hachiman rebutted instinctively, seemingly an automatic response as the little girl giggled.
"Nonsense, I'm no little girl."
She bowed politely.
"I am Kohirumaki Karuta."
And then…she eyed Karen.
It wasn't a norm gaze. No. It was that gaze. The gaze which Karen uses as she devoured her victims. It was the glare of one who had mastered the Schadenfreude skill, with that being only Karen.
"And I'm Karen's mother."
And then she eyed Hachiman.
"Which makes me your Aunt."
…
...
…
"I have a loli for an Auntie?"
End of Chapter
[1] This is a reference to Tokyo Ghoul:re. 'Super Peace!' is a line said by Nimura Furuta, the antagonist.
[2] Another Tokyo Ghoul:re reference. Rotten Fellows is the Quinque of Furuta.
[3] Bleach reference. The Antagonist, Ywach, has an ability called the 'Allmighty' that enables him to see the outcomes of the future. Or something like that. I kinda forgot but it was roughly like that lmao.
[4] Fist of the North Star reference/meme
[5] Another Tokyo Ghoul:re reference
[6] Her Kimono design resembles the kimono design of Shinsuke Takasugi, a character in Gintama.
Well there you have it folks!
I apologize for the late update but I've returned after getting more inspiration and re-reading the Volumes! However, once again I will say the next update might also come late again, as I will be doing the same thing, getting inspirations blah blah.
Also…
Did you guys notice the new picture of the story? Perfect! That picture, which I think looks a bit too small for my taste, will be the main picture now. Each picture represents the state of our lil' protagonist. Depending how you see it, it may have spoiler if you squint your eyes.
Also…
Yes, they are indeed real…well, one of them. Let's have a game. Can you guess EACH of the character in the picture in regards to where they came from? Each picture is actually an inspiration regarding Karen's character growth. Now then, I won't be too cruel. Hl
Here are the clubs.
Five of them comes from manga's that are real. Three of those come from the same manga. One of them comes from manga's omake.
There is only one fanart, but the fanart is based on a real character.
And that's all the clue. Try guessing it from the upper left corner. Give me the names and where they come from. The first person who guesses all correct is um….err….
Gets cookie?