Life After
Chapter Six
By Path Walker
"I look like Misa."
"From 'Happy Sweets?' Great, that's exactly what I was aiming for."
Kira had not stopped laughing since he had returned that evening and found L's short hair pulled into two pony tails on the side of his head, with black and white striped arm warmers to cover his bandage. This continually made the former detective wonder why he was doing this in the first place, but watching her face fill with life, and seeing Kira smile without looking sadistic was worth being a Barbie for one night.
"How does she know about Misa?" Kira asked between fits of laughter.
L relayed the question.
"Reruns of her show come on the Food Network at night, right after Iron Chef. Misa Misa had a look that was just classic."
The two unearthly entities started at one another.
"Is she in love with Misa or something?"
Before L could ask however, they had arrived. The place was a kitschy cowboy bar, complete with swinging wooden saloon doors.
"Maybe I should have rethought the phrase 'Beauty in Boots.'"
L's boots were the kind of knee length commando boots one would find at their local Goth store.
"We should go register," was L's only reply.
---
"Welcome to Boots and Saddle's Beauty in Boots contest!" A tall Hispanic man screamed into the mic. "I'm Ramon, you host for this evening's extravaganza!" He twirled as the crowd cheered. Ramon was the picture of stereotypical gay: He wore a large leather cowboy hat, no shirt over his muscled torso, ass-less chaps, and rather flamboyant cowboy boots, complete with spurs. It made Kira shiver from his seat in the back. He had thought of going back stage, but L had insisted he watch the show.
"You may enjoy it."
However, Kira was sure this was not reason the Throne had asked. It made him worry. He never really knew where he stood with L. Even after all this time the angel was still a mystery to him. Why was he going through with this? Was it some sort of elaborate scheme to get a head of Kira in the game? Maybe he was trying to entice him as a sort of torture for the Shinigami's actions earlier in the day. Everything was layered with L -he always had a motive- didn't he?
The Shinigami turned his attention to the stage once more as Ramon's falsetto broke through his train of thought.
"Our eight lovely queens will be graded on beauty, poise, grace, personality and intelligence."
L was screwed.
"But before we bring them out, let's introduce our three judges!"
The two club owners and city councilman stood up as they were announced.
"Ok! And now for our ladies in their first costume: Club Wear!"
A large man wearing see through lingerie came whirling onto the catwalk. His thick beard glistened in the spot light, and he made no attempt to hide his uh, "package"
"Here comes Pound Cake in a lovely see through nightie complete with white pumps! You know white after Labor Day is a fashion pho-paw guys!"
There was a mix of cheers and jeers as the Bear made his way back stage. He didn't seem to hear though.
"Next is a local favorite. Get ready to dump your drink on your crotch boys because here comes Sugar!"
Sugar burst through the curtain like a trained professional. His long legs were covered in thigh length red boots with white furry trim. The red sleeveless dress also had white trim on the bottom, along with the matching arm length gloves. His hair was long, black and silky.
"Our naughty Mrs. Clause here won the Miss Gay International last year folks, and is still going strong!"
Sugar mooned the audience of wild men on her way back, and Kira had to admit, it was a rather nice ass.
L doesn't stand a chance.
The next to appear was a man named "Samantha," whose idea of club wear was a cross between a naughty school girl and a fairy tale princess. There was no doubt he would not make it to the next round.
Leslie had a thing for leather, and looked very much like a dominatrix. It scared Kira as much as it turned him on.
Furry Fantasy looked as though he had jumped right out of the musical "Cats," but seemed to have a rather large fan base as quite a few regulars began to sing "TomTugger."
Georgette was the most muscled man Kira had ever seen put on a dress. His bald head did not help matters, neither did his "sexy pose."
Akeem seemed to be the only one who knew what the phrase "club wear" meant. He wore black nylon/spandex pants with large slits in the front to show off his low top boots. His fish net shirt was mid drift, and his metal armbands matched his studded belt.
I wish L had worn that.
"And last but not least ladies, the ravishing Regina!"
A minute passed and L did not appear.
"Uh, here he is men, Regina!"
L was shoved onto stage, and gave everyone the distinct impression of a deer caught in headlights. He just stood, lollipop sticking out of his mouth, eyes wide. There were a few cat calls from various men, and Kira quickly looked around, Death note ready.
Ramon gave him a pointed look, and L seemed to come back to his senses. He began to walk down the catwalk with the same slouching manner he always walked.
The judges did not seem too happy, but the audience didn't seem to mind at all.
"Oooh, what a china doll!"
"Mind suckin' my lollipop?"
"He looks just like Misa Misa!"
Kira wasn't sure who to kill first.
"Lets give a hand to our eight lovely contestants: Pound Cake, Sugar, Samantha, Leslie, Furry Fantasy, Georgette, Akeem, and Regina!"
The eight men filled the stage, waving and blowing kisses to the audience, but L only looked at Kira, face blank.
"Now, while our queens change for their second outfit, let's say a few words about HIV and how its tearing not only this community, but the world apart…"
---
L thought his heart would burst out of his chest. He had not been so scared since had to give the acceptance speech at To-Ho University all those years ago, but Kira had been with him then.
"You did great!" The girl squealed, and L tried to smile. He found his teeth were chattering to much to succeed.
"You see, they loved you! Now, all you need is a little confidence and you can win this thing."
"I don't want to win." L murmured as she pulled out a long white evening gown.
"Why not Regi-"
"They're all staring at me. If I win, everyone will be staring at me even more. I don't like it."
"Oh Ryu…" The girl gave him a hug, and L immediately stiffened. "Oh, sorry."
"Well, stage fright is normal, but you shouldn't let it stop you from having fun. Besides, you look good out there-"
"Yeah! Do you know how many people would kill to have a body like yours?"
Both turned to find Sugar and Pound Cake standing behind them. L bit his lollipop.
"What do you weigh? 110, 120?"
"I weigh one hundred thirty pounds."
"Wow! I would kill to be that weight!" Screamed Pound Cake, eyeing L appreciatively.
"You've got it baby, just flaunt it!"
"In fact, I wouldn't mind having it now-" laughed the bear , grabbing L and pulling him close.
"Hey! Let him go! He's taken!" Their was a short tug of war between the two before the girl stepped on Pound Cake's foot, causing him to let go.
"Get your bitch on a leash."
"Yeah, Fag Hag."
The two walked away, noses held high.
"… I'm taken?"
"Well, I know you're interested in someone at least, and I didn't think it was right for him to just- grab you like that… Ryuzaki, it's your decision, but I think you should see this through 'til the end."
L actually did smile this time.
"You are right."
She helped him into the dress, telling him the swim suit section had been cancelled due to the cold. L sighed in relief.
"Will I have to do a talent?"
When she did not answer, L followed her eyes to an obscure part of the dressing room, where Pound Cake could be seen wrapping tight cloth around Sugar's chest.
"Make it tighter! If they find out I'm taking female hormones I could be disqualified."
Her eyes began to well with tears.
"Are you okay?"
She looked up at the detective suddenly, as though seeing him for the first time.
"I'm fine, just thought that must be real painful." She quickly wiped her face and began to zip L up. "And no, you won't have to do a talent. The talent portions of most pageants don't count anyway. They're mainly for another award called Miss Talent."
That was ideal, as the only talent L could think of was reciting Pi to the millionth place.
"They're going to be calling you guys soon, you better get out there."
She sent L on, deciding she'd tell him later tonight.
No point in spoiling his fun.
---
The gown portion had gone rather quickly, as five of the contestants had worn their rendition of "the little black dress." L's white, backless evening gown had been the hands down winner.
"Okay ladies time for our final four! Our obvious first choice is Sugar!"
The queen paraded him/herself across the stage.
"Dresses aren't his thing but we love him anyway: Akeem!"
Akeem bowed.
"Next, everyone's jungle cat: Furry Fantasy!"
Tom Tugger let out a menacing roar for his fans.
"And last but not least: The lolly loving new comer who stole our hearts and hard ons, Regina!"
"What?!" Kira sat up as his angel only stared blankly into the crowd. His impression of a deer caught in headlights was remarkable.
"Next, is our intelligence and personality on stage interview! Our first contestant is Regina!"
L moved stiffly towards the single stool on stage.
"Please sit in the seat correctly, Ms. Regina."
"I can't, if I do my deductive skills would drop by forty percent."
There was an awkward silence and a few coughs.
"Regina, you've proven that you have creativity and imagination with your costumes, but what makes you think you'd be ideal for Miss Beauty in Boots?"
"Actually I don't think I'm perfect for the title at all. I'm not very attractive, and do not enjoy the spot light. However, my friends thought I should enter to get over my stage fright, although I'm sure at least one of them just wanted to get a laugh out of seeing me on stage."
There were a few chuckles at that.
"What would you do with the prize money if you won?"
"Buy candy."
"How do you keep such a slim figure if you eat so many sweets?"
"My brain burns off most of the calories as it is the part of my body I use the most."
"How would you change the gay community for the better?"
L bit his thumb reflectively.
"Find the cure for Aids. Not only would the world think better of the gay community for the cure to be discovered by one of its members, but also one of the age old stigmas associated with the gay community would be eliminated."
Stunned silence.
"What is your idea of the perfect day?"
"Working on my laptop, surrounded by sweets, and K- my best friend being beside me."
Kira's eyes widened. He actually enjoyed all that time they spent chained together?
"Aww that's so swee- I mean, thank you Regina."
L walked off stage, shaking.
---
"Okay ladies, the moment you've all been waiting for: Our winners!"
"In third place, our local wild wonder: Furry Fantasy!"
The wild man prowled onto the stage and took a swipe at Ramon before claiming his trophy.
"In second place, the chocolate that melts in your mouth: Akeem!"
The two men appraised each other with hungry eyes as Akeem smoothly took his trophy.
"And our winner: The sultry Sugar!"
L was not surprised. The contest had actually turned out exactly as he had calculated it would.
"And now the winner of the Spirit Award- the contest participant that best exemplified the ideals of the gay community. This vote was unanimous among the judges and our delicious audience. The winner is the courageous, the curvaceous Regina!"
The room burst into wild applause as the stunned Throne accepted his trophy.
Its bigger than Sugar's He thought. It was strange, to have everyone staring at him, and not feel the least bit afraid. L smiled, and hugged his trophy tighter.
---
That night L the girl had celebrated with a dinner out, and Kira had congratulated him in the shower after. It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning that the girl had approached L.
"Don't you ever sleep?" She asked, pouring herself some tea.
"I did, for a whole hour this afternoon, remember?"
"About that-"
"No need to apologize."
"Well, remember when you asked me if I was alright earlier? I wasn't. I- I remembered something."
L stopped typing, and was glad Kira had gone.
"I remembered my dad -or at least, a man I called dad. He was on top of me, and said I wasn't good anymore. I was getting too big, so he was going to move on to the other girl. I didn't want him to hurt her like he was hurting me and I thought- if I could make my breast stop growing, and stopped growing tall, he would leave her alone. I started wrapping my chest everyday, and would smash them with things. I even stopped drinking milk and drank a lot of coffee, but it didn't work."
There was silence between them.
"… I've spent the last two months looking for any clue to who I am, and now that I've found one, I wish I hadn't."
L moved to the bed, and gingerly placed his arm on her shoulders.
"I don't want to remember anymore. I don't want to be that person."
She cried on his shoulder and L didn't move.