Disclaimer: I own neither Glee nor any part thereof. No money is being made off of this story and is intended only for entertainment purposes; therefore it falls within the parameters of "Fair Use"
A/N: So this chapter did wind up getting pretty long but I opted not to break it up. Thanks as always to everyone who reads and many thanks to those that review. A couple of you will recognize something you mentioned in reviews contained in this chapter. Now you see why feedback is so important to an author, you can actually wind up contributing to the story. This is the emotional climax of the story. There will be a brief epilogue to follow.
Chapter 6
After her forced exile from the hospital, Rachel and Puck agreed to alternate days on the overnight shift and while Rachel still visited every day she stopped racing to the hospital the moment her last class let out. She began participating in Glee Club again...as well as attending regularly. After school she would head home and practice for half an hour on her own, change into something comfortable and then head to the hospital around 5.
Her fellow Glee Club members had been very accommodating in helping to keep an eye on Quinn. Rachel had very quickly worked out a rotation and everyone but Finn was in. Rachel and Judy were the only ones there every day. Most came every other day for a couple of hours. The newer people that didn't know Quinn all that well, Sugar, Rory, and Joe, showed when someone was needed. Although, they found out quickly that Sugar and Rory couldn't be trusted to watch her together or there wouldn't be much watching going on.
Day 19 "So admit it Berry, you're feelin the PLL," Santana said, "It's okay, I'm use to being right all the time."
Rachel sighed lightly and said, "It's a decently entertaining distraction from other concerns, and while I'm glad to see the LGBTQ community represented in mainstream entertainment, the fact that the show has gay characters alone isn't reason enough for me to feel compelled to keep up with it, considering my busy extra-curricular schedule. That being said, I'm glad you like it and thanks for helping keep me entertained."
"Whatevs, I saw you grinning like the devil over there," Santana said, "You can keep watching if you want. I've seen 'em all already. I can jump back in wherever." Santana stood and pulled on her Cheerios letterman. "I'm gonna bounce, Pierce Family Night is gonna be over in a few and I needs my B time."
"Can I ask you something?" Rachel said. "Maybe it's not my place, but why don't you like spending time with Brittany's family? Are they not accepting of the two of you or something?"
"Uh, just the opposite actually," Santana said.
"What do you mean?"
"They're one of those weird, ultra-openness families," Santana explained, "I honestly think that I could bang Brittany in front of them and they'd just stand there and like fucking compliment me on my technique and shit. Now that they know about us, I can't deal with that. I mean, I guess I gotta learn to but… not tonight."
"I understand," Rachel replied as she stood to walk Santana out, "My fathers have a tendency to over share, at times. Goodnight, Santana."
"Night, Berry," Santana said and leaned in to give Rachel a hug. Neither of them remembered when they started this. Santana would still deny that it ever happened when they're in the presence of anyone beside Brittany and Quinn, but it had become a habit. "Night, Sleeping Beauty," Santana called to Quinn over Rachel's shoulder.
Santana left and Rachel walked back to Quinn and looked her over. It was funny, besides the removable brace still on her left arm, you could barely even tell from looking that Quinn had been in a horrible car wreck less than a month prior. The neck brace, the arm sling, and the finger splints were long gone. The bruising and swelling were likewise a thing of the past. Her cuts had all healed over with only one noticeable scar above her right eye, and even then you really had to be looking for it to see it. Rachel couldn't help but think of the nickname that Santana had bestowed upon Quinn over the last couple of weeks, Sleeping Beauty. The hopeless romantic in her couldn't stop wondering if the nickname was a sign, wondering if she should just try it. She smiled at Quinn. "It's stupid," Rachel said to herself. She stood there another minute and licked her lips. "It's not going to work."
Rachel turned away from the bed and sat down on the couch and began looking over her homework, double checking… which was actually about the fourth checking. She knew her work was flawless. She was just trying to busy her mind but she kept looking back over to Quinn. "This is ridiculous," she said to the empty room, "I'm not going to be able to get this off my mind until I just try it." She stood again and took the single step between the couch and the bed. "This isn't going to work." She tucked her hair behind her ear, wet her lips again, leaned over, and kissed Quinn gently on the lips. She pulled back, stood up straight, and waited.
Nothing happened, and all her mental coaching didn't prevent her from being disappointed.
Day 23, Monday, Rachel had been scheduled to be at the hospital with Tina but she'd had to cancel last minute to continue studying for her Trig mid-term with was seriously kicking her ass. Rachel had said that it was no problem, of course and made a couple of calls to find someone to come sit with her. Twenty minutes later, Joe Hart shuffled his way into Quinn's room with his guitar slung over his back. "Hello, Joe," Rachel said, "Thank you very much for coming on such short notice."
"Yeah, it's no problem," Joe said.
"Is there anything you'd like to do this evening? There's a TV and DVD player, there are books. I see you brought your guitar. We can sing but we have to be…"
"Actually, could we maybe talk a little bit, first?" Joe asked.
"Of course," Rachel said with a smile, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Well…" he started but trailed off, "So when all of this first happened, the accident, and everything, I was on the outside looking in. I didn't know you guys too well. I mostly knew The God Squad, Mercedes, Sam, Quinn, but now I've gotten to know a lot of you and most of you are really cool, so I…"
"Joe, would you like to join The Glee Club?" Rachel asked.
He smiled and said, "I… yeah, I mean I know you guys already won Regionals and stuff. I didn't know if there was a deadline to join up and I was way past it or whatever."
Come by the choir room before school tomorrow and we'll talk to Mr. Schuester together but I don't think that it will be an issue," Rachel said, "but I don't think it will be an issue. You will have to audition, but as long as you aren't completely atrocious you'll get in and I already happen to know you are far from atrocious."
"Okay, sounds good," Joe said, "So Sam and Mercedes have been teaching me a lot about secular music. My parents aren't religious fanatics or anything. They just like what they like and they just so happen to like Christian music."
"To each their own," Rachel said.
"Totally," Joe said, "but I'm finding a lot of stuff that I like. Do you know the song "Times Like These" by The Foo Fighters?"
"I do," Rachel replied.
"I was thinking that I'd do that for my audition," Joe said, "and maybe I could practice tonight and you could give me some pointers."
"I'd be happy to," Rachel said, "Though we have to keep the volume down since I do not wish to be asked to leave. It generally goes against my better instincts to sing quietly."
"Okay," Joe said.
X X X X X
"So forgive me if this is impertinent," Joe said, "but can I ask what the deal with you and Quinn is? Because first she didn't want to sing your Valentine's song but then she was kind of parading you around the quad while we were singing. Sam said you didn't like each other much because of that Finn guy, but then you've been here for three weeks with her. So are you guys friends or what?"
Rachel smiled and said, "Firstly, I'd like to compliment you on your use of the word impertinent. A great many of our peers aren't even aware of such a word much less its proper usage. Obviously there are benefits to homeschooling. Now to answer your question, the full depth and breadth of the history of Quinn's and my relationship to one another would require perhaps the most complicated flow chart in recorded history, but as to where we are now, yes we are friends. I value Quinn's friendship over most everyone except my very dearest friends, but that isn't all that we are...or I suppose it would be more accurate to say that's not all I want us to be."
"You want her to be your girlfriend," Joe said.
"I'm...I think I'm in love with," Rachel said, "I don't know how she feels about me."
Joe looked from her to Quinn. He was silent for a moment and said, "One of the first discussions Quinn and I ever had was about homosexuality. We did your valentine and then Santana wanted us to sing to Brittany. You were there for that."
"I remember," Rachel said.
"At that time, I didn't really know how I felt about it because I'd never had to think about it, so we met up to talk and I told them that I'd never known a gay person before. Quinn responded immediately by saying she guaranteed that I had and then fired off this laundry list of things that were considered sinful in biblical times that don't really bother us now and then pointed out that the Bible had no issue with slavery and finished by saying that Jesus never said anything about gay people."
"I guess I'm not seeing your point," Rachel said.
"It sounded like an argument that she'd worked out before," Joe said, "Something that one might give to a possibly intolerant parent or family member."
"So you think that Quinn is...?" Rachel trailed off.
"I don't know," Joe said plainly, "and I don't like to make assumptions about people, but it seems like she's put a lot of thought into reconciling her faith with her acceptance of homosexuality."
"Can I ask how you reconcile yours?" Rachel asked, "I only ask out of curiosity."
"Sure," he said, "You're Jewish, right?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"Not really," Joe said, "Someone told me a couple of weeks ago, so do you speak Hebrew?"
"I speak it a little," Rachel said, "I can't read it."
"That's fine, I don't have the Hebrew text with me," he said as he pulled his Bible out of his bag, "Are you familiar with the Book of Ruth?" Rachel shook her head slowly. Joe flipped through it until he came to the book in question. "It tells the story of Naomi, the widowed mother of two sons. Her sons marry women named Orpah and Ruth. The sons both die before either could bear any children so Naomi tells them to go back to their fathers, which is what would typically happen in that situation in that time, and Orpah agrees, but Ruth refuses to leave Naomi. Chapter 1, verse 14 says that "Ruth clung to her." That word, clung, is translated from the Hebrew word dabaq which also appears in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24 which describes Adam's relationship to Eve and God's plan for how all loving relationships should be. When Naomi asks her to leave, Ruth replies, 'Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.' Christians often use this quote in heterosexual wedding vows, so how can it mean anything else? Ruth loved Naomi as Adam loved Eve. The rest of the book tells about how they lived the rest of their lives together. They don't hide their relationship, they aren't treated as abominations. It's a beautiful love story about two women and it's in The Bible. It couldn't be much clearer than that to me."
Periodically throughout Joe's speech, Rachel had to wipe away tears and by the end she was dabbing at her nose as well. "Thank you for sharing that with me, Joe," Rachel said at last, "I may have to look into this epic love story. I'd like to hug you now, if that's okay."
"Of course," he said as they both stood up and met at the foot of Quinn's bed for a warm embrace. After a moment, Joe's phone chirped. "I'm going to have to go," he said checking the message, "My mom's almost here. Are you and Quinn going to be okay here on your own?"
"We will be," Rachel confirmed, "Please tell me your mother isn't texting while driving, because I can't handle the thought of that right now."
"No, it's fine she said she was about to leave Graham's Drug Store a couple of blocks over," Joe said, "I'm going to pray over Quinn before I go, would you like to join me? I promise to keep it Unitarian."
"I'd like that," Rachel said offering up her hands to him.
He took her hands in his and began, "Merciful Father, we love you and we praise you…"
X X X X X
"On My Way" she typed out. Her finger lingered over the send button as her thoughts raced. 'On my way to do what?' Quinn thought to herself. 'Be in the wedding and watch as Rachel makes the biggest mistake of her life or to interrupt and possibly lose Rachel's friendship? What's it gonna-'
Quinn was surrounded by darkness. She had absolutely no idea what was going on. She could swear she was just driving to Rachel's wedding in her car and now she's just standing here...wherever here is since she can't see anything much past an arm's length. Then she heard a voice from above her, "On my way to do what?" It's her own thoughts echoing in her own voice. Quinn tried to answer but no noise came out. She heard footsteps. They might be getting closer. They might be circling her. It's hard to tell. She tried to call out to whoever it is but again no sound.
Finally a figure cleared the darkness and Quinn looked her over: auburn hair, glasses, chubby, zits. It was Lucy. Suddenly, Quinn realized that there were others, behind her to her right was...well, herself, or at least the sophomore version of herself in her Cheerios uniform, high ponytail and a scowl on her face. Behind her to her left was Rachel but not Rachel as she knew her. No this was Rachel a few years older with her hair done up wearing a fabulous gown and beautiful jewelry, Red Carpet Rachel. Quinn held out a hand to Rachel and mouthed her name, still without sound. "I'm not Rachel," she said.
"Who am I?" Lucy asked.
"You're me," Quinn said surprised at the sound of her own voice, "You're Lucy."
"No," Lucy replied, "That's just who I look like." Quinn tried to ask her what that meant but again no sounds came out.
"Who am I?" Cheerleader Quinn asked.
Quinn turned to face her. "I-I'm guessing you aren't me," she said aloud once more.
"We're all you," Cheerleader Quinn, "but I'm not you like you're thinking." Again, Quinn tried to follow up and again no words came. Apparently this was the ultimate "speak when spoke to" situation.
"Who am I?" Not Rachel asked.
"I-I-I don't know," Quinn said as she turned again, "I don't know what this is."
"How did we get here?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know that either," Quinn said, "Last thing I remember was being in my car driving to your... to Rachel's wedding."
"So where are we?" Not Rachel asked.
Quinn shook her head, "I-"
"Shhh," Lucy said.
"Listen," Cheerleader Quinn said.
Again voices came from above her, "BP's dropping. She must be bleeding internally." In the background she could hear a siren.
"I'm in an ambulance?" Quinn asked.
"So where are we?" Not Rachel asked once more.
"In my mind?" Quinn asked.
"So then who are we?" Lucy asked.
"You're all me," Quinn said, "but none of you are me..." She turned in a circle looking at each of them, "...because you're pieces of me?"
"We are your broken psyche," Cheerleader Quinn said.
"Broken?" Quinn asked noting that it was the first time she'd been able to speak without being asked a direct question, "You mean, like from the accident? Do I have brain damage?"
"This isn't about the car," Lucy said.
"This damage was done to you and by you long ago," Cheerleader Quinn said.
"And the time has come to reconcile it," Not Rachel said.
"How?" Quinn asked.
"Answer our question," they said in unison.
"What question?" Quinn said.
"Who am I?" They all answered.
"I don't suppose the answer is as simple as Past," she pointed at Lucy, "Present," she pointed at Cheerleader Quinn, "and future," she pointed at Not Rachel, "is it?"
"Is this who you are now?" Cheerleader Quinn asked.
"Is your future to grow up to be Rachel Berry?" Not Rachel asked.
"So is it Freudian? ID, Ego, and Superego?" Quinn asked.
They all shook their heads in synch which was more than a little creepy. "Stop trying to solve the whole puzzle when you don't even know the pieces," Lucy said, "Who am I?"
"You're...you're Lucy," Quinn said, "You're the girl I use to be before I was her." She pointed at Cheerleader Quinn.
"I represent Lucy, but what does Lucy represent to you?" she asked.
"Shame," Quinn said.
"No," Lucy said.
"It's not Lucy that you're ashamed of," said Not Rachel.
"I'm not ashamed of you, Rachel," Quinn said reflexively.
"I'm not Rachel," she said, "and you're getting distracted."
"Were you ever really ashamed of Lucy?" asked Lucy.
After thinking about it for a few minutes, Quinn said softly, "No."
"How did you feel about Lucy after you became Quinn?" Lucy asked.
"Afraid," Quinn said, "I was afraid of what people would think if they found out."
"So who am I?"
"My fear of being honest," Quinn said.
"And what are you afraid of being honest about?" Lucy asked. Quinn shook her head lightly not answering. She wasn't unable to speak, just to answer.
"Quinn, who am I?" Not Rachel asked.
"You look like an older version of Rachel," Quinn said, "Are you my desire to look to the future?"
"No," Not Rachel said, "good guess, but no."
"Can you give me a hint?" Quinn asked.
"This image is the one your brain assigned to this part of your psyche," she said, "Analyze it."
"Is the fact that you look like Rachel significant?"
"Yes," she said.
"Is the fact that you don't look like my Rachel significant?"
"Your Rachel?" Not Rachel echoed.
"What are you afraid of being honest about?" Lucy asked.
"That you don't look like eighteen year old Rachel, is that significant?" Quinn corrected.
Not Rachel opened her mouth but Rachel's voice didn't come out but rather Quinn's own, "Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead you." Quinn just looked at her until she spoke again in Rachel's voice, "Why did you say that?"
"Because it's true," Quinn said.
"How come?" Not Rachel asked.
"Because y…she's talented and amazing and driven," Quinn responded.
"So what does this version of Rachel look like to you?"
"It's, you're her on the red carpet at some award show. It's Rachel living her dream," Quinn said, "Are you my jealousy, because I really don't think I'm jealous of Rachel anymore. I used to be. That's part of why I was so mean to her."
"You're not jealous. What does the image of Rachel achieving her dreams represent to you?" Not Rachel asked.
"Inevitability?" Quinn said. Not Rachel shook her head. "Success? Achievement?"
"You're so close right now, you don't even know it," Not Rachel said, "Just talk it out."
"Rachel achieving her dreams means perseverance in the face of adversity. It means never giving up, no matter how much it may hurt," Quinn paused trying to order her thoughts, "It means… being your very best. Wait, you're my self-actualization?"
"I knew you could do it," Not Rachel said in Rachel's 'I'm so proud of you' voice.
"But why is my self-actualization not myself?" Quinn asked.
"What does Rachel have that you want for yourself?" Not Rachel asked.
"What are you afraid to be honest about?" Lucy asked.
"Who am I?" Cheerleader Quinn asked.
Quinn looked from one piece of her psyche to another and another and her breath started coming short. Not Rachel said, "Quinn you can't hyperventilate here, because you aren't really here. It's all quite literally in your head. You're really in a hospital bed with an oxygen tube in your nose. Listen."
Another voice from above, this time Rachel's, "There was a lot that Billy said that was gibberish to the Tralframadorians, too. They couldn't they couldn't imagine what time looked like to him. Billy had given up on explaining that."
"She's here. I-I didn't stop the…" Quinn looked at Not Rachel, "Did she marry him?"
"I'm a part of you and your brain doesn't possess that knowledge," Not Rachel said.
Lucy opened her mouth and out came Quinn's voice, "I'm not going to stand by and watch you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson!"
"What does Rachel have that you want for yourself?" Not Rachel asked.
"Why did you say that?" Lucy asked.
"Because I'm a friend," Quinn said, "Marrying him is a mistake."
"What were you going to do at the wedding?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know," Quinn said, "I was still going over it in my mind when the accident happened."
"What did you want to do?" Lucy asked.
"Stop it," Quinn said, "To object."
"Why?" Lucy asked.
"Because I'm her friend," Quinn said.
"Kurt and Mercedes are her friends. They weren't going to stop the wedding," Lucy said.
"What does Rachel have that you want for yourself?" Not Rachel asked.
"Who am I?" Cheerleader Quinn asked.
"What are you afraid to be honest about?" Lucy asked.
"ALL RIGHT! ALL THREE OF YOU SHUT UP!" Quinn yelled. "I'm sick of turning to look at you every time you say something. If you're all a part of me, then you have to listen to me. All of you stand together." Not Rachel and Lucy walked to stand on either side of Cheerleader Quinn. She looked at Not Rachel and said, "What Rachel has that I want for myself… more than loving parents or a jaw dropping voice, is just simply that she accepts and loves herself for exactly who she is. She's proud of who she is. That's what I want for me. What stops me from that," she looked to Lucy, "What I'm afraid to be honest about is that I'm gay and that I'm in love with Rachel. I've had feelings for her for a while, but lately it's become more than that." Next she looked to Cheerleader Quinn and said, "And why I'm afraid to be honest about that is because of you. Lucy and Rachel don't represent my shame," Quinn said anger in her voice and tears in her eyes, "because you do. You represent it so well because I am ashamed of who I was and of what I did when I was you."
Cheerleader Quinn opened her mouth and out came a flood of things, "RuPaul! Man Hands! Treasure Trail! Hobbit! Dwarf! Troll! Yentl! Sterilize yourself! You're making my baby nauseous! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
"SHUT UP!" Quinn barked once again. "I know all of the horrible things I said. I don't need the replay."
"Why are you ashamed of me?" Cheerleader Quinn asked.
"Because the things I did...why would she ever want to be with me after everything I did to her? I'm ashamed of you...of myself because it means I've blown it before I ever had a chance to try."
"Why else?" Cheerleader Quinn asked.
"Because I hurt her so much," Quinn said, "I love her and I hurt her and I can't ever make that right." Quinn buried her face in her hands and cried, cried harder than she could ever remember crying in her lifetime, which for her was saying something.
After a while she looked back up as she dried her cheeks and hands. The three fragments were gone. In their place, was a single vision of Quinn wearing the same amazing dress that Not Rachel was wearing, her hair also done up. She, like the vision of Rachel, was a few years older but she looked genuinely happy and just as Quinn was about to speak, Not Quinn brought her left hand up to tuck away stray hairs and Quinn caught sight of the huge diamond wedding band on her ring finger. "I'm not going to make you work to figure me out," Not Quinn said, "I am your dreams for the future. I graduated Yale at the top of my class with a double major in Drama and Creative Writing. I am a hugely sought after actress and burgeoning screenwriter. I have a beautiful home that I share my even more successful wife Rachel Berry-Fabray and our two dogs Barnaby and Cornelius. All of this can be yours, Quinn, if you have the will to make it happen."
"Why would she want to be with me?" Quinn asked.
"Why wouldn't she?" Not Quinn said.
"Because I was awful to her," Quinn said.
"And yet you're friends," Not Quinn said, "She's eagerly sought you out more than once and was desperate for your approval about her wedding. She cares about you. She's forgiven you."
"Who knows what I even look like anymore?" Quinn said.
"You're a very pretty girl, Quinn," came Rachel's voice out of Not Quinn's mouth, "the prettiest I've ever met... but you're a lot more than that." Back in Quinn's voice she said, "Rachel doesn't care what you look like."
"She loves Finn," Quinn said firmly.
"And yet she's here," Not Quinn said, "she's always been here."
"What?" Quinn said.
"She's with you," Not Quinn said, "at the hospital. She's hardly left your side. Listen." This time the voice from above was a cacophony of sounds overlapping and echoing off of each other. She caught bits about Billy Pilgrim and Bilbo Baggins. She heard singing and what sounded like casual conversations. She couldn't really understand that much of it but it's clear enough to her that all the sounds were Rachel's voice. After a moment the ruckus died down and there was just one trailing sound, "Come back to me, okay, Quinn? Whenever you're ready."
"How long have I been here?" Quinn asked.
"Here doesn't exactly measure time very well," Not Quinn said.
"How long have I been in the hospital?" she reworded.
Not Quinn shook her head, "Your brain doesn't have that knowledge." Quinn went to speak again and suddenly found that she couldn't once more. "You're wasting time in here. You've done what you needed to do. You've put the pieces of you back together. You admitted the truth to yourself. You've done all you can do from in here. Now every minute you waste in here is a minute you aren't with Rachel."
"Rachel, I'm on my way," she said.
X X X X X
It was 2:30 in the morning and all but one small light behind Quinn's bed were out in the room. Rachel was fast asleep on the couch beside the bed, when Quinn began to stir. She emitted a low, soft groan that didn't draw much attention. She flexed her fingers which obviously didn't send people racing to her side. Another louder moan and Rachel began to stir. Finally Quinn, through dry lips and a parched throat croaked out, "Ray… Ray…" Rachel's eyes shot open and she sat up abruptly. She looked over to the bed expectantly; suddenly desperate to know she wasn't dreaming. She wasn't disappointed. Quinn was holding her hand out shakily towards her, "Rachel?"
Rachel leapt from the couch to Quinn's side, taking Quinn's hand in hers. "I'm here, Quinn! I'm right here with you," Rachel said, "Can you hear me?"
"I'm… not…" Quinn was struggling to speak.
Rachel grabbed her water bottle and held it to Quinn's lips, "Small sips okay? Don't overdo it." Rachel held the bottle to make sure. After Quinn had taken a couple of small sips, Rachel pulled the bottle away and sat it back down.
Quinn cleared her throat and spoke again, "Rachel?"
"I'm right here," Rachel repeated gripping Quinn's hand between both of hers.
"I'm… I'm n-not going to stand by and watch y-y-you ruin your life by marrying Finn Hudson."
"I'm not," Rachel quickly replied, "I'm not marrying him. I gave him the ring back. I'm…"
Quinn spoke again, cutting Rachel off, "Not gonna… stand by…" Her eyes fluttered shut again and her head rolled to the side facing away from Rachel.
Rachel's eyes bulged, "No, nonononono!" She let one of her hands drift up to Quinn's wrist to feel for a pulse and it was definitely there. "Quinn, please don't leave me again. I love you, please come back to me. Please come back." Nothing. Rachel hit the nurse's call button and less than a minute later a nurse walked in. "She… she came to. Just like for a minute," Rachel told her
The nurse, Brenda, quickly went about checking Quinn's vitals and after a minute a slight smile broke out on her lips. "It's okay, honey," she said, "She's just asleep now. It's not uncommon. She could wake back up in a few minutes or it could be hours. How was she while she was awake?"
"She was disoriented," Rachel said, "I don't think she knew where she was. She kept repeating her part of a conversation that we had a few days before her accident."
"That's also not uncommon," Brenda said, "Her vitals are good, strong. I'm going to go call Dr. O'Malley."
"And I'll call Quinn's mother," Rachel said reaching for her cell phone on the table next to her couch. Brenda left and Rachel quickly called Judy to inform her than Quinn had come to, if only momentarily, and Judy said she'd get cleaned up and be on her way soon. Rachel then questioned who else to call at this late/early hour. Finally she settled on calling Santana, who said she'd get up in a couple of hours and be up there, and her fathers, who told her to keep them updated. Everyone else she sent text messages. She got a couple of replies just saying that it's good to hear and to keep them updated.
Dr. Karen O'Malley arrived just over an hour after Quinn had come to and gone over some cursory examinations but said that they really wouldn't know anything for sure about Quinn's status until she woke and could talk to them. She encouraged Rachel and Judy to just be patient and if they could to get some sleep since Quinn could potentially sleep for the better part of the day. Rachel had no interest in even trying to sleep again but Judy insisted she do so since she had school in the morning.
Rachel was about to tell Judy that she had absolutely no intention of going to school tomorrow until she'd remembered her promise to Joe. She briefly considered just phoning Mr. Schuester in the morning to tell him that she sent Joe by but she had promised Joe that she would be there and Rachel Berry was a woman of her word. So with some reluctance, Rachel lay back down on the couch and eventually dozed back off slightly before four.
Rachel's alarm went off promptly at 6 and she once again sprang out of bed. Rachel quickly collected her things and left for home to run through a slightly abbreviated version of her morning routine. Then she was off to school. As it turned, it didn't take much convincing to get Mr. Schuester to let Joe audition for Glee. Considering that about two-thirds of the existing club was due to graduate in just over two months, he was happy to have all the new blood he could get.
Rachel's school day had been dragging by. To her and her sense of drama, every minute seemed like an eternity. Life seemed to be in slow motion. Anyone who talked to her never registered. For three weeks she'd been okay at school even though she would spare many thoughts for Quinn in those days wondering if she would wake up, but now it was different, now Quinn was going to wake up. It was no longer a matter of if but just when, and Rachel found she couldn't bring herself to focus on anything else.
Everyone tried to talk to her about anything and everything else, thinking to keep her mind off of things. Kurt and Blaine talked about New York and NYADA. Mercedes and Tina talked about whatever the latest gossip was. Puck and Artie went off on debating the relative merits of one video game versus another. It was Mike, of all people, who looked at her in their fourth period AP Chemistry class and said, "Any word?" Rachel just shook her head. "I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sure it won't be long now."
"Thanks, Mike," she said leaning her head on his shoulder.
Thirty minutes later at lunch, Rachel couldn't help but think that she's not the only one in Glee who's a little bit psychic as her phone vibrated across the surface of the piano where she'd sat it during her customary rehearsal during lunch. Rachel retrieved the device and looked to the caller ID; it's Judy. "Judy, is…"
"Everything's fine, honey," Judy said, "She's awake and she seems to be doing just fine. She doesn't remember the accident but she remembers being in the car, so she's not missing too much time. They're going for an MRI right now just to be sure."
"Ohmigod, this is wonderful, amazing news. I'm going to go get my things and I'll be there right away."
"Rachel, honey, I know you're excited, as am I," Judy said, "and I know that nothing I say will keep you from coming here right now but please take a minute. Take a couple of deep breaths. I really, really do not want you behind the wheel of a car when you're this wound up. Get Santana or Brittany to drive you if needs be, okay?"
X X X X X
Rachel, Brittany, and Santana made it to the hospital before Quinn made it back from the MRI. Judy was sat in a chair on the other side of the bed while the three girls were all perched on the couch that Rachel had called home for the last three weeks. Rachel, never a terribly patient person anyway, was so anxious that she was vigorously tapping her foot much to Santana's chagrin. "Stop it, Berry," she said, "It's like you're tapping out messages in Morse code to the floor below us."
"Don't be mean, San," Brittany chided.
Rachel didn't respond to or comply with Santana. Instead she just continued staring at the door hardly even blinking.
Ten minutes after they had arrived, the door to Quinn's room opened once more and in rolled Quinn in her wheelchair pushed a very large male nurse named Bruce. "Hey, Q!" Brittany said bolting up from her seat immediately. "I'm super happy that you woke up."
"Hey, Brittany," Quinn replied, "I'm super happy to see you now that I woke up. Could I ask you a favor?"
"Totally anything," Brittany said.
"I can't feel my legs and I'm not supposed to put weight on my wrist while it's still healing, so would you mind helping me back into the bed?" Quinn asked.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," Bruce said.
"It's totally cool," Brittany said, "I'm way stronger than I look. Q's a cheerleader like us. I've picked her up like a million times before. Plus I dated a guy in a wheelchair for a while, so I totally know what I'm doing." Bruce stood aside and waved Brittany on. She reached down to make sure the chair's breaks were secured then squatted next to her. "Okay, put your arms around my neck, Q," she said. Quinn did and when she leaned forward Brittany put one arm across Quinn's back, the other under Quinn's knees, and quickly scooped her up. "I totally did this to San the other night."
Quinn scrunched her face and said, "Was she hurt?"
"No we were pretending it was our wedding night," Brittany said settling Quinn down on the bed, "I was carrying her into our Honeymoon Suite before we had-"
"Britt," Santana said, "Remember where we are and that maybe Q and her mom don't want to hear about that."
Quinn scoffed, "More like you don't want her to tell people how sweet you are to her."
"Look, Q, if you're just gonna bust up my game, you can go back into the coma, okay?" Santana said as she came to stand next to the bed.
"San, be nice," Brittany quickly chastised.
Quinn however was laughing, head tilted back against the bed, "Oh I missed that." He eyes drifted over to see Rachel still sitting on the edge of the couch, staring up at her expectantly, and biting her lip. Quinn looked back up. "S, B, Mom, can Rachel and I have the room please?"
"Sure, honey," Judy said, "I could use some lunch, actually." She leaned down to give Quinn a hug and then walked out.
When she was out the door, Santana said, "Remember, Q, the doors don't lock, so no sex in the hospital room."
"Right because that was my first thought after waking up with no feeling below the waist," Quinn fired back.
"That pretty much makes you perfect for one another," Santana said, "After dealing with Stay Puffed's limp noodle I'm sure Berry's pretty well use to feeling nothing below the waist, too."
"Get out," Quinn said firmly. Brittany forced her hand into Santana's and led Santana out of the room. When they'd gone, Rachel was still in the same spot, still looking up at Quinn. Quinn held out a hand in Rachel's direction. "Rachel?" she said.
"Quinn, I'm so sorry," Rachel said tears springing from her eyes immediately, "You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me…"
"Rachel," Quinn tried to interject.
"…I shouldn't have been texting you while I knew you were driving. I-I shouldn't have even been there in the first place. Getting married in high school, not even straight out of high school but actually still in high school…"
"Rachel."
"…if that was anyone else I've dragged them to the nearest medical facility and had them tested for drug abuse. What was I even thinking? But rest assured that there will be no repeats of that…"
"Rachel!" Quinn barked this time, "I can't get up to come hug you. You have to come to me." Rachel stood and stepped up to her. Quinn sat up and pulled Rachel into a tight embrace pressing them together as firmly as her unbroken right hand could manage. "None of this is your fault, Rach. None of it, do you hear me? I was the one who picked up my phone. I was the one who was all in my head when I should have been watching the road. You did nothing wrong, okay?" she said as finally let Rachel go.
Rachel shifted back sitting on the side of Quinn's bed. "I don't know how you can so easily forgive me, Quinn. You could have died."
"Me forgive you?" Quinn said incredulously, "Rachel, think about all of the forgiveness that I get from you that I don't deserve. I was awful to you for years: insults and slushies and drawing in the bathroom. If anything, I'm the unworthy one."
"But you could have died."
"But I didn't," Quinn said, "The doctors say I could be back up and walking as early as next week. The cast will be off in another month or so. By the time Nationals roll around, it'll be like all of this never even happened. I'll be right there swaying in the background while you win us a national championship."
"Oh, Quinn," Rachel said looking down at the blanket draped over Quinn's legs, "who cares about Nationals right now?"
"I do," Quinn responded with no uncertainty, "It's what we've been working towards for the last three years and we're on the verge of making it happen, Rachel. Why would I give up caring about it now?"
"I just… After everything that's happened, something like Show Choir Nationals seems sort of trivial by comparison," Rachel said.
"I disagree," Quinn said, "I think it seems even more important than ever to pursue the things that you are passionate about and revel in your successes. Personally, I can't wait to see the smile on your face when they announce New Directions as the 2012 Show Choir National Champions. And I'll be right there beside you helping you lift that absurdly huge trophy." Rachel let out a deep, cathartic sigh and smiled at Quinn. "So I caught in your kind of rambling speech that you didn't marry Finn, is that right?"
Rachel nodded and said, "That is correct. I walked out and left him standing at the altar. Broke up with him, or well, I gave him the ring back, called off our engagement, and have barely spoken to him in three weeks. I think that qualifies as breaking up with someone."
"I should think so," Quinn said, "I'm not entirely sure how to say this really, but after everything I can't just not say it, so…" Quinn took deep, relaxing breath and continued, "Rachel, I love you. I love you in the way where I want to take you on dates and ask you to prom and spend the next four years taking buses and trains back and forth between New Haven and New York every weekend. I-I don't know when it happened. I only know when I realized it. I was singing 'Never Can Say Goodbye' when it occurred to me that you're the person that I don't want to say goodbye to. On top of all that, you were here and I knew you were here for me. I heard your voice calling out to me, calling me home. I'm here now because of you. I want to be with you, Rachel." Rachel sat stunned looking at Quinn. It's not that she didn't know or at least hope that was true but she just hadn't expected it to all sound so wonderful and so eloquent. "You're silence is kind of brutal right now."
Rachel shook off her stun quickly, "I, um, after Regionals you asked me if I sang 'Here's to Us' for Finn. I didn't," Rachel said, "I sang it for the club, so that we'd win. I sang it so that I'd get into NYADA, so that I'd be close to you next year, so that we could do bus trips and train rides and Christmas and New Years in New York. I wanted to tell you this then but I let fear of the unknown paralyze me and for that I'm sorry. A-At this point I'm rambling because I'm stalling and I don't know why. All of our friends probably already know this, as well as our parents… Quinn, I love you, too."
"You do?"
"I do."
Quinn sighed and pulled Rachel back into her for another hug, "Oh God, you don't know how good that is to hear. I think I was afraid to even let myself think it was possible after, you know… everything. I really want to kiss you right now."
"And I you," Rachel replied, "but I think once we start, we may not stop for some time and there was one more piece of business I wanted to discuss before we start what I can only imagine will be an immensely pleasurable experience-"
"Rachel," Quinn interrupted.
"Right, concision is key right now. My fathers are taking me to New York for Spring Break so that I can get use to being in the city. I would like it if you could join us."
"I'd love to," Quinn said. No sooner had the sentence escaped her lips than Rachel's lips were upon hers. "Immensely pleasurable" didn't begin to cover it.
A/N: Yes, the names of their dogs are a reference to "Just off the Key of Reason" by ElsBells.