Chapter 6: Sticking the Dismount
"MIRACULOUS... LADYBUG!"
The cork Charm flew overhead and dissolved into a cloud of magical ladybugs, which did its customary repair work on Chez Coûteux and its vicinity and greatly improved the mood of the maître d'hôtel. The restaurant resembled a fine restaurant once again, rather than an afterparty held in an aquarium that went horribly wrong.
Ladybug and Adrien swung across the city, headed for the Agreste mansion. "What about the other Lucky Charm you had?" Adrien asked.
"I'm hanging onto that for now, actually," said Ladybug. "I only needed one for the cleanup, I'm not sure that my... power source had enough left in the tank to do it twice, and besides, hey! Free iPad."
"That'll be great for your Christmas shopping," laughed Adrien, "as long as everyone likes all their presents in red."
They landed at the front gate as usual, this time fully aware that stepping off to the side would be needed for any kind of privacy. They didn't have enough energy left to raise many eyebrows that night, anyway.
"Are you all right with how everything turned out?" Adrien asked. "This was... not exactly how I planned on romancing you."
"Yeah," Ladybug grinned. "But sweet intentions always count for a lot in my book. Are YOU going to be okay?"
"A shower and a good night's rest should help a lot. What are you doing tomorrow?"
"I'm not sure," she replied. "Shower and sleep tonight, oh yes. But after that I'll wait and see when I wake up tomorrow, or if I wake up surrounded by lobster attack squads."
"What was WITH Hawkmoth tonight?" Adrien shook his head. "Four Akumas in one night has to be a new record."
"I have no idea. And Hawkmoth knows exactly what he can do with those Akumas, too," Ladybug grumbled. "But thank your father again for me - that was such an amazing gesture for him to set all this up. And thank YOU, sweetheart. You two both tried so hard, I feel so bad for you."
"We both know how much you're worth it," smiled Adrien. "Call you tomorrow?"
"Please do. We probably ought to talk about a few things then. Sweet dreams." She kissed him, slowly and lovingly, then headed for home.
Inside, Gabriel stood by the security monitor, watching and listening to the conversation. He had recovered enough from his barrage of Akumas to detransform, return to the main house and try to gain any intelligence regarding Ladybug he could from their chatter.
The humiliation of repeated defeat still stung him. The headache he would have in the morning, no one would envy. Yet, hearing her gratitude and seeing her obvious care for his son, he thought to himself, I must still defeat her and seize her Miraculous for my plans to succeed... but despite myself, I actually like this girl. One of life's little ironies.
Ladybug arrived home, transformed back to Marinette and made an immediate beeline for the shower. Getting herself de-lobster-watered and de-noodled was an absolute priority. Once done, she threw on her pajamas, brushed her hair and got ready for bed.
"Are you all right, Tikki? That was quite a workout," asked Marinette.
"Yes, I'm fine. I don't think I can eat again until around Tuesday, though. Wow, I'm stuffed... Oh! Your phone was buzzing," answered Tikki.
"This time of night? Strange." She picked it up and saw a message from Adrien; "Checking on you. Let me know when you're home safe."
"Awwww," she sighed. "That was sweet of him. That's weird, though; he used his real account instead of the talking-to-Dottie one he uses." She took a closer look and nearly dropped the phone.
"Tikki! That message wasn't for Dottie... it was for ME!"
Marinette made sure that she was responding from her own account, then sent "I am home, thank you for thinking of me!"
She turned out the light and plopped down onto her bed, but was startled when another message arrived quickly. "Can I call you?"
Um... A little bit of the old Marinette returned, as Tikki watched her go all fluttery. "Adrien wants to call ME? Now?" She hopped up, turned on the light, rushed to the mirror, checked her hair, brushed it out again quickly, moaned about her lack of makeup, then killed the lights again and messaged "Sure." A moment later, her phone rang, and Adrien's face and pajama top filled her phone screen.
"Hi!" she said, very quietly. "I can't talk very loud or my parents might hear. How are you?"
"Pretty good. My head is still spinning. So you made it home all right?"
"Yeah. My dad picked me up," she fibbed. "Once Ladybug hit her magic reset button, the roads were clear and it was smooth sailing."
"I'm glad. As crazy as that restaurant was tonight, I was really worried about you. That was really dangerous and I'm sorry you got caught in it."
"Hey, it wasn't your fault," Marinette whispered. "Seems like that's life in Paris these days. Every time you turn around, bam! Another Akuma villain."
"Well, I'm still sorry. And I called to say that I'm so grateful for how you looked out for me tonight. It really meant a lot to me."
"Aw, anyone would've..."
"No, they wouldn't have. And that's why I couldn't sleep without telling you this tonight. An awful lot of people would've gotten the heck out of there the first chance they got, but you didn't. You stayed right there with me even when you were in danger, too. And Chat Noir, uh, told me how you asked him to make especially sure I was safe, too. That... really touched me."
"Adrien, um..." Marinette fumbled a little for words. "People like you don't come along every day, you know. I have to make sure I take good care of them when I find them."
Adrien smiled, looking away slightly, and his face turned noticeably redder, catching Marinette by surprise. "You are really special, Marinette," he said, softly. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that tonight."
It was her turn to blush, and she did it quite well, having had lots of practice.
"I'll let you get some sleep. Thank you again... and sweet dreams, Marinette." Adrien hesitated for a second, then blew her a small kiss like the one she'd blown to Chat at the restaurant, and disconnected.
Marinette laid back in her bed, staring up at her ceiling, wide-eyed. "Tikki?"
"Yes?"
"What... What just happened?"
Sunday morning brought another buzzing noise to Marinette's phone. This time, it was Alya.
"Hey," Marinette sald, sleepily.
"Hi! WHAT HAPPENED? Are you all right? How did you end up at Chez Coûteux last night?" bubbled Alya.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, I'm just waking up. Yes, I'm fine," mumbled Marinette.
"People sent me a bunch of cell phone pictures for the LadyBlog of what happened at the restaurant. That looked INSANE! Three villains! Almost four! And then I went through them and saw YOU there in a couple of them!"
"I, uh, was there, yeah." This generation and their cell phones. No privacy in public places at all, she grumbled internally. "Ladybug asked me to be her backup there for her date - like, if she needed something I could run and get it. Then things went nuts and I was just running for cover and checking on Adrien for her."
"So it wasn't a double date, then?" Alya smiled, knowingly.
"Oh, come on. Who's going to take ME to a place like that?"
"One of the pictures is you at a table with Chat Noir."
"Pfft," Marinette laughed. "Chat sat down with me for, like, thirty seconds in between villains. I was happy to see him but we didn't arrive together. I told you, we agreed we're better as friends!"
"You told me that," Alya agreed. "But you told me, like, three other stories before you gave up that you double-dated with Chat, AND the other half of that double date was there too... Nothing you want to tell your best friend about?"
"Not this time. It was NOT a double date. I promise. Let's get together later and I'll give you the rundown on what happened at the restaurant."
"You'd better!", Alya grinned.
Plagg floated around Adrien's room, watching carefully. He wasn't the most empathetic Kwami around but he could certainly see that Adrien was troubled. "Are you okay? he asked.
"I'm figuring that out," Adrien muttered. I have the one thing I've ever wanted - the one person I've ever wanted - and now I have to figure out how to stay there.
He was still completely head-over-heels for Ladybug; he knew that for sure. It wasn't just about the bravery, the passion, the spirit he'd seen that hooked him from the start; when she opened up to him and showed him her vulnerable side, her sensitivity, her doubts and questions and dreams, it only multiplied his feelings. His surface crush turned into deeper emotions. When she was by his side, he was all the way awake and alive in ways he'd never felt before.
But... that was just it, wasn't it? When she could be by his side. Opening up these new communication lines helped, sure. But they were still stealing minutes and hours with each other and trying to stay one step ahead of a whole lot of madness. Just look at the chaos at Chez Coûteux! All that scrambling keeping Ladybug AND Marinette from figuring out his secret life as Chat Noir. It still felt like deception no matter what both Plagg and Marinette had said, and not only was he not comfortable deceiving good friends, it was exhausting. He could only imagine what it was like for Ladybug, too, and for whoever was under her mask.
Just one night out in public, and Ladybug's identities were both stressing. She'd said she could manage it, but it was stress that was in part because of him. One big date night, and villains came out of the woodwork to threaten him, threaten Ladybug, and even threaten Marinette, who REALLY didn't deserve any of that. Was there really any way that they could make this work long-term?
Did he even have to think long-term yet? Couldn't they just enjoy the thrill of this ride as long as they could? Ladybug seemed genuinely happy to be with him. Her kisses were electric, her smile melted him at twenty paces, he could hear it in her voice every time they talked. Being together with him gave her something she seemed to genuinely need. He was just as crazy about her, and needed her just as much. That was more than enough, right?
Wasn't it?
How could it not be?
And then there was that... other thing weighing on his mind. A little something about five feet tall, with dark pigtails and an infectious giggle, whose inherent sweetness and genuineness and heart were sneaking into his thoughts more every day without her even trying.
Should that have surprised him? Through visiting her as Chat Noir, he'd seen a different and relaxed side of Marinette for months now. That Marinette was probably his favorite person in the world to spend time with, or at least who didn't wear spots and a mask. She'd been so sweet and a great friend to Adrien as well, even if he... STILL couldn't quite figure out why it seemed like he made her nervous. But whatever got her to open up to him and relax around him as Adrien... this new Marinette was melting his heart a little at a time.
There! He'd said it, in his head at least. He was utterly enchanted by this open, flirty, confident Marinette and right now he shouldn't be.
He wanted to be a loyal and faithful boyfriend. That's what boyfriends were supposed to be, full stop. He let his mind drift and bluebell eyes filled his thoughts, and it really bothered him that for the first time, he wasn't completely sure whose they were.
After lunch, Marinette huddled up with Tikki, comparing notes on the dizzying past twenty-four hours. "That was an amazing dinner, but I'm thinking next time we just get a burger and fries..." Marinette laughed.
"At least until an Akuma hits the fry cook," said Tikki.
"Something about last night just doesn't add up," pondered Marinette. "I mean, there's an Akuma popping up near me, or near Adrien, and then there's just plain TARGETING. I know Hawkmoth probably doesn't like our beating his villains over and over, but that was just mean."
"I hate to say it," reminded Tikki, "but there is one thing that was different this time... the public knowing that Ladybug and Adrien are a couple. I don't know about that making Hawkmoth mad, but maybe it drew too much of his attention."
"Yeah," Marinette said, sadly. "I just can't put Adrien in danger just because he's close to me. This time we won, but a villain only has to get lucky once, and if he got hurt it would break my heart in two." She curled into a ball on her bed. "But now what are we going to do? I can't just put the public genie back in the bottle."
"It's not impossible... if you're clever about it," Tikki mused. "Two young lovebirds can find a way more often than not. But the first thing you have to do is talk with Adrien about it! I'd bet he's thought about this, too."
"I hope so." Picking up her phone, Marinette logged in as Dottie and sent Adrien a message: "Let's get together tonight and talk. You free around 9?"
"Should be," came the reply. "Where should we meet?"
"I'll text you when I'm ready. Love you."
"Love you too."
That gives me the afternoon to figure out how not to break both our hearts, Marinette thought.
Adrien paced around his room in the early evening. "Plagg, what should I do?" he asked.
"About what? Talk to me. I promise I'll be serious for once," replied Plagg.
So he did. He laid out his frustrations about their secret identity dance, his fears that going public put both them and their friends in danger, his absolute need to keep Ladybug in his life. He hinted at his growing feelings for Marinette and how conflicted they were making him.
No kidding, kid, Plagg thought to himself. You fell for Ladybug both in and out of costume? Who could've seen that coming?
"First off, I kinda have to agree. Find a way to take the heat off for a while, go back under the radar. On a blanket in the woods counts as under the radar, in case that worried you."
"I can't say that it... didn't come to mind," Adrien blushed. "Keep going."
"As for Marinette..." Since I can't tell you the one thing that'd solve this whole problem... "You have one option. Go talk to her."
"Like, right now?"
"Like, right now. I mean, see if she's home first. But Ladybug's coming to talk out where you stand in, like, three hours, right? Well, I know one person in the world who knows what Ladybug's thinking AND who Chat Noir can talk to about anything. Get some intel. Go into talking with Ladybug prepared. Maybe even figure out some of what Marinette thinks about you."
"That's... actually really good advice, Plagg," Adrien said. "I'm impressed."
"A few thousand years, you pick up a few things," Plagg grinned. "Come on, kid. Get your ears on."
A few minutes later, Chat Noir was perched on the balcony where he'd planned his romantic evening with Ladybug long ago, scoping out Marinette's balcony. He didn't see her out there, but the lights were on in her room.
He reached for his phone. MY costume has POCKETS, he thought with a grin. Not that Ladybug's being form-fitting is a bad thing, though...
Inside, Marinette's phone buzzed. She saw a message from a strange ID she hadn't seen before...
"Knock-knock, Princess. Do you have a few minutes for a neighborhood stray cat?"
"You might have the wrong number," came the reply.
"Only if this isn't a purrfectly adorable design student who might want to check her balcony."
There was a pause. The next reply came: "Chaton? Only you could be that corny. I'll be right up."
Marinette opened the hatch and ascended, finding Chat perched on the balcony rail. "Hi, kitty! Can't say that I was expecting that message..."
"Well, Adrien mentioned that he and Ladybug set up separate IDs so they could talk privately, so I figured, what the heck. That way I can bug you whenever I want, and see if you're home before I plop down on your roof. One of these times your mother's going to climb up instead and take ten years off my life."
"You've got nine of those, so can't you spare some?" smiled Marinette. "Besides, she likes you. As long as you don't try to climb INTO my room at night."
"Which would have YOU removing some of those lives. I'm smarter than that. Usually."
The friends pulled up two chairs, facing each other. "So what's on your mind, Chat?"
"A bunch of stuff, actually. First off, I'm glad you got out of the mess at that restaurant last night. That was really cool of you to help Ladybug out like that, and Adrien was blown away that you did that and that you stayed with him."
"Yeah, he called me after. He was SO sweet on the phone. Even more than usual. And thank YOU for watching over him for me!"
"No problem," Adrien said. "All part of the job. Plus he's my partner's boyfriend AND he's a great guy."
"A really great guy," smiled Marinette absently. Well, I didn't MEAN to dangle that as bait, but since she bit at it...
"From what he tells me, you two HAVE gotten a lot closer lately, talking a lot more... I know that he's really happy about that."
"We have! And that's wonderful that he feels that way. I'm just as happy. I've wanted that for a long time."
"Do you think he's the right guy for Ladybug?" Chat ventured. I'm on dangerous ground here.
"She sure seems to think so! From everything she's told me, they can't get enough of each other. He's handsome, he's kind, he's down-to-earth, he's got sweetness he hasn't even used yet..." Chat watched, with more than a little bit of wonder, as Marinette approached her melting point describing Adrien. Verrrrry interesting.
Abruptly, she realized what she was saying and snapped, "HEY! Did he put you up to asking that?"
"N-no! I mean... why would he do that?"
"Ladybug's still crazy about him, if you're asking that as his wingman," Marinette glared, "though I don't know why he would have any doubts."
"No, it's not that at all..." Whoops! Time to back off. "I worry about my partner, naturally. They do seem completely happy together, and that's awesome."
"Yeah. Though..." She trailed off. "I am wondering a little if their going public with their romance was a good idea."
"I wondered that myself," agreed Chat. "I mean, they shouldn't HAVE to hide it. But that was a crazy scene last night. I know Adrien doesn't want people like you caught in the crossfire. I know _I_ don't, either."
"You're both sweet," beamed Marinette. "And I know Ladybug doesn't want Adrien with a target on his back, either. I hope they can figure this out."
"Yeah." Time for one last bit of fishing. If Marinette's seeing someone, that removes all of my temptation. "Speaking of dating, how's your love life going lately?"
Marinette turned crimson, instantly. "WHO did you hear that from?" she demanded.
"Hear what?" Chat protested, innocently.
"Ohhhh... you got me in so much trouble the other night," Marinette began, embarrassed. "You remember when you came over and talked the other night, and I hugged you goodnight over there?"
"Of course."
"My friend Alya saw us hugging. And then she confronted me about it, and Ladybug was nearby, and I messed up my story, and I didn't want to blow anyone's secret identity by accident, and it got really complicated and, um..." Now Marinette was curled into a ball on her chair.
"Go on..."
"Alya kinda thinks that you and I went on a double-date with Ladybug and Adrien. And that we kissed. And that we were, uh, kinda dating a little bit," she finished in her very best if I say this quietly enough we can both pretend that I never said it voice.
Chat Noir was speechless. That was about twenty miles southeast of anything he'd ever expected to hear. "We, uh... what?" he managed.
"I KNOW! It wasn't my idea! I was helping Ladybug protect her secret and that was more important! It was complicated!" Marinette stammered. "I told her we decided we were better off as friends. I said you were a really good kisser; that should help your reputation."
"She's... not putting it on her BLOG, is she?"
"Oh no. She swore it would never leave the room and I _think_ I convinced her that it was a one-time thing. The only problem is now I can't stop her from meowing at me."
"Bahahahaha!" Chat laughed loudly. Inside, he was in hysterics. THAT explains what I kept hearing in class!
"I mean, it's ridiculous, right? The idea that you and I would get caught dating, or making out up here on my balcony..." Marinette said, giggling.
Chat's face got serious, and he leaned forward intently. "...But what if it wasn't?" he asked.
Another silent moment, and Marinette giggled louder, remembering how he got her with that the other night. Then her laughter slowed down, gradually.
Chat... isn't really... laughing. Why isn't Chat laughing?
Under the costume, Adrien had a sudden, very strange, very un-Adrien-ish thought.
What IF it wasn't?
Very slowly, he got up out of his chair, never breaking eye contact.
Marinette is sweet and caring and wonderful. And really cute, too. And I haven't been able to get her out of my mind lately.
Chat walked towards Marinette at a slow and deliberate pace, their gaze still locked. Her laughing slowed, then stopped.
She's told me that she's been pining for her Mystery Guy for a long time. She's been pretty lonely. We trust each other.
Chat knelt in front of her. Her eyes went huge. A little part of his mind noted that, despite her shock, she showed no signs of protesting.
Would it be so terrible if that WASN'T so ridiculous?
Inches away from her face, Chat smiled, very warmly, and whispered to Marinette...
"Gotcha."
Both Chat and Marinette erupted in laughter. "YOU!" howled Marinette. "For a moment there..."
As if I could ever live with myself if I cheated on anyone, much less Ladybug! Chat thought, as he watched Marinette try to regain her composure.
"Oh, you are BAD, Chat Noir," she accused him, still giggling. "SO bad. I guess I deserved that for what I said."
You deserve so much better, Marinette. You really, really do. And I need to think hard about where that thought came from.
"So as much fun as that look on your face was..." Chat smirked, then softened to a more normal smile. "WOULD that help cover Ladybug's identity, somehow? I'm trying to figure out how it would. I mean, if you need me to pretend that I'm infatuated with you, we could have a lot of fun with that. But it's the same thing as with Ladybug and Adrien - if we were public about it, I'd be putting you in a lot of danger."
"No, no, definitely not public. One person saw me hug you and it started a fire, I don't want a few million witnesses. And, um, no, I don't think we NEED to pretend anything. I covered for it pretty well," Marinette said nervously. "But thank you for offering. I think. I'll keep your application on file."
"Or anything else I can do to help you. There's not much I wouldn't do for you, Marinette," he purred.
"I know. You're so good to me," Marinette smiled back.
"The kissing parts are no problem, either. I hear that I'm a really good kisser."
"Stop, you!" Marinette's smile was all the way back. "Hugs I can handle," she said, wrapping her arms around him. "Just, let's do that away from street view for a while."
Chat returned the friendly hug. It really did feel right having Marinette in his arms, for any reason.
Around nine, Marinette gathered her willpower. This wasn't going to be her favorite conversation of the week coming up, but it was necessary.
"Am I doing the right thing, Tikki?" she asked.
Tikki nuzzled her cheek. "I know you will. Though I am curious... what are you going to tell him?"
"Oh..." Marinette looked pensive. "Definitely that Ladybug and Adrien need to step out of the spotlight for a while. I don't think that'll get much argument. After that... um... I have a few ideas. We'll see just how brave I can be."
"Spots on!"
Adrien stared at his phone, anxiously. 9:00... 9:00... still 9:00... 9:01... 9:01...
His phone buzzed with a new message. "Are you ready, sweetie?"
"Sure. Where are you?"
"Look at your window."
He turned and saw Ladybug sitting on his bedroom window with a big smile, swinging her legs gently.
"Sneaking into my boyfriend's bedroom at night! If my mother could see me now..."
Adrien climbed up to meet her, put his arm around her and let him swing him up and out. "Let's go out to the park," she said. "It's a lovely night."
They found a park bench away from everyone, kissed for a few minutes, and then Ladybug said what she needed to say.
"So... I wanted to thank you for what was still a wonderful and romantic night last night," Ladybug began. "It... may have been the strangest night of my life, too." Both of them laughed at that.
"It wasn't... EXACTLY how I'd planned it," agreed Adrien. "But I'm still glad I shared it with you."
"Me too. But it did get me thinking about a lot of things, and I do think we ought to talk about them."
Adrien said, "No time like the present," but his face fell. He didn't have a lot of relationship experience, but he knew that "we need to talk" rarely ends well.
Ladybug took a deep breath. "Adrien... as wonderful as you are... this is going to be really difficult to make a relationship work, and it's not because of you. Because of this," gesturing at her costume, "my life gets really crazy. I feel like I'll be putting you in danger all the time, and if something bad happened to you it would tear me apart."
"That's my choice to make," Adrien said. "I didn't ask you out expecting you to hang up your spots."
"And I don't want to. But I don't want to give you up either. So..." Ladybug gathered her strength. "Would it be okay if we dialed things back some, and kept out of the public eye together for a while?"
Adrien smiled, but she saw he was straining inside. "I was... thinking something similar. We need to keep ourselves and our friends safe... But I just can't lose you, Ladybug."
Ladybug saw a few tears starting to well up in his eyes, and knelt in front of him. "Hey! Hey, LOOK at me. Listen. This is NOT me breaking up with you. No way. Not at all. Don't you start crying or I'm going to bawl my eyes out, and I don't want to make this a sad thing," she insisted.
"I know," he replied, "it shouldn't be."
"I want you in my life. I NEED you in my life. I need you to message me and email me and chat with me and be part of my world as much as we can. I want to go places with you, do things with you, just the two of us. Don't you think for one second that I can live my life without Adrien Agreste and be happy." That brought his smile back, most of the way.
"And believe me, once in a while you just might be grabbed by a yo-yo, dragged somewhere private and kissed 'til neither one of us can speak." She gave him a raised eyebrow and a sly smile as his face went "Ohhhh..."
"But..." Ladybug took a breath. This was a big but.
"...if we're keeping it private, there are a lot of things that you and I just can't do together. I want to bring you home, cook you dinner, have you meet my parents. I want to spend lazy Sundays with you just hanging out in the park or walking through the city. I want to hold your hand in front of all our friends. I want to go on dates with you that don't trend on Twitter. I want to know that I can just BE with you and not worry that a giant glowing lobster's going to try to take our heads off. I want all of that so bad, but these spots get in the way. And I can't give those up either."
Now Ladybug was on the verge of tears. "Ohhh... I told myself I was going to hold it together..."
"Do you get where I'm coming from, Adrien? I'm still crazy about you! That's never going to change. I will always be close to you. THAT's never going to change. I will never tell you 'Goodbye.' But maybe we should slow it down, put a little distance between us, and let our lives calm down a little. I don't know that Paris can stay standing if we go all out right now."
Adrien leaned against her. "I do understand that. I don't want to hear it... but I understand it. And, like I said, I was thinking along the same lines even if I didn't want to say it out loud." He took a deep breath of his own. "I've seen you... straining to keep your two lives separate. Having to hide your normal self from me, and I TOTALLY GET WHY! I don't want you to feel bad about that. But it's tough on you. That's obvious, and I'm adding to that."
"I want you to be happy with me. But most of all, I just want you to be happy," he smiled. "I want to be part of what makes you happy. So if we have to slow down and wait to make that possible, I'm okay with that."
Ladybug threw her arms around him, and they held each other for a long while. Okay, we got to where we needed to get most. Now comes the really tough part, she thought.
"I need you to be happy too. So as weird as this is going to sound... I don't want to ask you to sit and wait for me forever, either," added Ladybug.
Adrien gave her a very confused look.
"I don't mean, run out and throw yourself at the first girl you see. If I see you making out with Chloe, rest assured that you WILL get an earful. I have eyes in that school, mister," threatened Ladybug, giggling.
"But being Ladybug is always going to be... really complicated. All those things I was talking about are big parts of a real relationship... I don't know when I can commit to any of those as Ladybug. If I ever can." She swallowed hard before saying the most difficult part.
"If you find someone who has a... more normal life... who means a lot to you, it won't hurt my feelings if you get close to her, if you two do the things that I wish I could with you. I don't want you to miss out on those things. You deserve them. As long as I'm still a part of your life," Ladybug said, her voice quavering a little. "But doing that is completely up to you. I'll never push you away, but I also won't tie you down to a girl who has to hide behind a costume. I won't."
If you love someone, set him free...
"As if there's anyone else in the world who could take your place," whispered Adrien. "The hardest part is that I know how close we are to how it COULD work, for real."
"We are?"
Adrien gave her a sympathetic look. "We know each other in your secret identity. You told me that. You don't need a mask and costume for me to love you. But I know that I can't ask you to tell me who the other you really is."
Oh, no. No, no, no, Ladybug thought. The one thing I prayed you wouldn't say. Because now I have the power to say two little words and make this all work out and I can't say them.
She laid her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, trying not to cry. Just say it!, part of her screamed out. Spots off. Spots off. SPOTS OFF! SPOTS OFF! That's all it takes! SPOTS OFF! Say it and Adrien is yours forever! SAY IT! SPOTS OFF!
"I want to... so much. I know I can trust you. But I just... can't," she whispered.
"I know. I know." Adrien held her close, caressing her head gently.
Ladybug faltered for a moment, trying to muster up the courage to say what her heart was truly aching to say. Do I stop there? she thought. Or do I take the biggest chance of them all?
Months of hesitation and doubt and fear screamed at her to stop. Her heart screamed DO IT! as loud as it could.
If I don't do it now, I never, ever will.
"Adrien, I can't tell you who I really am. But I c-can... tell you the kind of girl that I truly hope you'll find. Like, um..." She closed her eyes tight.
"There's this girl I know... a good friend of mine... and she's been lovesick for a very long time." Oh GOD I am saying this out loud. Once it started, it all spilled out at once.
"She has a guy friend, and he's a really good friend to her, and she's really happy to just be close to him but she is so... she just adores him. She loves him so much and she doesn't know how to make it stop and she doesn't want it to. And she just can't tell him herself. She just can't. Someone like her would be... so good to you. So good for you."
A tear ran down her cheek. "And I'm shoving someone else at you like she's a consolation prize, and I'm sorry, and I'm pathetic, and forget what I just said. You need to find who's right for you."
There. It's as out as it can ever be.
Adrien looked thoughtful. He leaned forward and kissed Ladybug's cheek, gently, wiping the tear away. "No, you're not pathetic. Never, ever. You're wanting what's best for me and I love you for that."
He paused before adding, "And I'm not sure if you're saying what I... think you might be saying. I don't need to know that for sure. But you are telling me something I've needed to hear for a very long time."
"I... am?"
"Yeah. I know you are. Something I should have known all along. For some strange reason, I couldn't see straight for a long time. Must've been those spots in my eyes."
She leaned against him, holding mixed emotions in tightly. "So... are we good?" she asked.
"I'm with you, aren't I?" said Adrien. She looked up and hugged him tight.
"This isn't goodbye. It'll never be goodbye. I love you, Adrien."
"I won't let it be. I love you, too."
After dropping Adrien back off at home, Ladybug kept moving. Partly because if she stopped she was afraid that she would collapse, and partly because she knew what she needed to do next. She knew the Parisian press well and planned on using that to her advantage.
She spotted a TV news crew setting up for a human interest story and decided they'd be a perfect messenger. She dropped out of the sky nearby, landed and made a show of looking around. "You guys didn't see an Akuma fly by, did you?" she asked. "I'm not SURE that I saw one, but if there is one I don't want to let it get away."
"I haven't seen one, Ladybug. BUT while we have you here... can you comment on rumors that you're romantically involved with fashion model Adrien Agreste?"
Ladybug smiled a guileless smile, or at least she hoped it was. "Oh, Adrien! Some mutual friends introduced us. Someone saw us together?"
The reporter coughed slightly. "You could say that. We had full coverage of the chaos at Chez Coûteux."
"We did spend some time together recently, but we are keeping things friendly. He is quite handsome, so charming, and he was a perfect gentleman, but I'm not looking to get romantically involved with anyone right now. I do hope we'll see each other again, though!"
"Thank you, Ladyb-"
"Whoops! I think I see the Akuma flying over that building. Bug out!"
"This has been Channel 14 News, with an exclusive report on Ladybug... Back to you, Rusty."
Adrien was restless. He watched the news play Ladybug's impromptu interview, and she made him smile even while she made him hurt inside.
Oh, he agreed with Ladybug on the most important thing - no matter how strong his feelings for Ladybug were and vice versa, things were spiraling out of control and their different worlds would always be an obstacle. But going back to hiding was a big step backwards, and no matter what else she'd said, he'd also heard Ladybug letting him go as gently as she possibly could. She would always be a dear friend, and they could steal a little more than that sometimes if they wanted to, but their circumstances just wouldn't allow what they both really wanted.
And that wound might not heal quickly.
Part of him kicked himself for not just saying CLAWS OUT! and showing her, once and for all, that she wasn't putting him in any danger... but he knew that he couldn't just do that any more than she could reveal her identity. That just wasn't in the cards.
Maybe she'll be more receptive to me as Chat Noir now, he thought. She turned Chat down because she wanted to be with someone else, and that's... over now. I guess. But that had its own obvious drawbacks; in some ways it was WORSE as far as secret identity drama went. They could be together but couldn't tell each other who either of them really were. Desperately romantic at its core, sure, but disastrous for all those real-relationship things Ladybug had talked about. And when he came right down to it... yeah, he wanted all those things too. The odds were pretty good that she'd turn him down as Chat for the same reasons she'd let him go as Adrien. Especially now.
But then there was... the last thing. The one that was turning his mind into banana pudding.
Did Ladybug just tell him who she really was? Or was she giving him permission to be with someone else? If she was... should he even consider it? Was Ladybug letting go of him, telling him to move on, or desperately begging him to come find her? Should he chase what he knew he could have - a red-and-black whirlwind that couldn't be caged, whom he could only share scattered moments with, but whom he loved and who loved him? Or should he go where he knew Ladybug had been pointing him, and take her at her word that Marinette was a mystery well worth solving?
He closed his eyes and concentrated. Bluebell eyes floated across his mind once more. This time, he knew their owner.
Marinette sat in her room around six o'clock, eyes closed, replaying the last two weeks in her head. I had everything I ever wanted and I just let him go, she thought. Even if it was absolutely necessary, I feel... empty.
Though there were certainly wonderful memories, too. She did smile remembering walking to Andre's hand-in-hand, the first nervous meeting on the roof, the nights curled up on the blanket in the clearing... the look on Adrien's face as she descended to meet him at the restaurant. Those were unforgettable, and really - she hadn't LOST him, had she? She still had his email, his messenger, his friendship, his place in her life as Ladybug. She could still enjoy all of that; she just had to hide it all away like none of it was really happening.
That was the whole point of today, wasn't it? To keep him in her heart but also keep him safe. And then she had to run her mouth like a lovesick fool and maybe scare him away from her as Marinette for good.
"Marinette!", her mother called from downstairs. "You have a visitor!"
Great, she thought. Another round of telling Alya that I don't have the hots for Chat Noir. "Can you tell her to come up?" she hollered.
"I think you'll want to come down this time," she said, with a strange lilt to her voice.
I do? Marinette came down the stairs, a little confused, and gasped slightly when she saw Adrien at the front door, waving shyly.
"Adrien! Hi! This is a surprise," she said, coming out to meet him. He led her over to a nearby bench, and they sat down together.
"So... I talked to Ladybug," Marinette ventured. "She told me that you two hit the brakes. Are you okay, Adrien?"
"Mostly," he said. "It wasn't a bad breakup at all. We're definitely going to stay close friends and do things together, just not with the same... intensity."
Thank goodness, Marinette thought. I got that much done right.
"That's good," she said. "I know she was petrified that she was going to hurt you if she pulled back."
"Well, it was amazing while it lasted, so it's going to hurt some. But it makes too much sense not to do it. I know you got to see firsthand how... insane it could get," Adrien said, apologetically.
"Yeah, but I got at least a salad course at Chez Coûteux out of it," grinned Marinette. "And a good friend in Ladybug, which is a little more important than that."
"About that..." Adrien turned a bit bashful. "Did Ladybug say... anything else about what we'd talked about?"
"Not... really?" Marinette's voice was tentative. "Anything interesting?"
"It interested me," he said. "Ladybug brought up a friend of hers and spoke very highly of her."
Here we go, Marinette thought, closing her eyes. The it's-not-you-it's-me speech.
"She said that her friend's been lovesick for a long time. That there was some dummy she fell for who took forever to notice how she was the sweetest girl he'd ever met, or how she puts everyone else's needs above her own. How her laugh is like music to his ears. Or how she has the most beautiful blue eyes he's ever seen. The kind of eyes he could lose himself in if he's not careful."
Those blue eyes reopened. They opened very, very wide.
"Actually, that wasn't her saying those last few parts. That was me," he said, smiling. "But I meant every word."
"She's not just a rebound from Ladybug, is she?" asked Marinette, turning to face him, a hint of hope in her voice.
"I'm pretty sure of two things," Adrien said. "She's always been there for me, but in the last few weeks when she's opened up to me, I've gotten to know her even better and she's been irresistible. I can't get her out of my mind."
"And the other thing?"
"That she's NOBODY'S consolation prize. She's adorable and amazing and beautiful all on her own."
"You really mean it, Adrien?" breathed Marinette.
"And a third thing! I almost forgot. I'm pretty sure that I would love a nice, long walk with her tonight to go get some of Andre's ice cream. No pressure, no rush, and I HOPE no Akumas... You hear that, Hawkmoth?" he called out, getting a laugh from Marinette. "Just a regular guy with a girl who's stolen his heart."
He reached out his hand to her. "If she'd like that?"
"She really, really would." Her hand slipped into his as if made to fit.
The pair got up and started walking slowly together, holding hands, in the general direction of the last Andre sighting along the Champs-Élysées.
Adrien stole glances at Marinette as they walked quietly, both grinning their heads off.
Did I really find my Ladybug? Maybe I'll never find out for sure.
He watched the love sparkling in Marinette's eyes.
But I did find my Marinette. And that's all I'll ever need to know.
~fin~