Disclaimer: yada yada yada, I don't own F.E.A.R. In this universe or the next. Or even in an alternateuniverse ruled by apes or elves or republicans.

Author's note: Yeah, go ahead and bash me for never getting around to adding more chapters. I deserve it, I've been an unbelievably lazy bastard. At least as not as bad to George R.R. Martin though....

Day 8

Armacham Technology Research Facility

Two guards strode down a hallway deep within the confines of the building. The two were carrying a disheveled and half-drunk man. He looked roughly beaten and

hadn't shaved in days. He smelled bad too. The guards were taunting him.

"Heh heh heh, we're gonna lock you away for a real long time buddy."

"Nyuk Nyuk, a really really long time."

The beaten man gave each of the guards a look of deep loathing.

"Let me get this straight, I've beaten up countless numbers of hobbos, smacked down my fair share of cops, and ran around the bowels of the city with a firearm and no permit, and now I'm being thrown into a jail cell BECAUSE I DIDN'T PAY MY CELL PHONE BILL?!"

"yeah, that's right heh heh heh."

"But I'm with Cingular! Is Armacham even a cell phone company?!"

"Nyuk nyuk, tell it to the judge!"

"What judge?! You lunatics picked me off the street and told me we were going to go get some ice cream!"

The two guards/abductors walked their prisoner passed a row of identical looking cell doors on the right side of the hallway. Each door contained a slot on the top and bottom, for food and spying. They were built out of what seemed like solid "you can't force your way through me" steel. They came to a stop at one door, and threw the prisoner in.

....Or at least they tried. One of them forgot a slight detail.

"Look, you have to 'open' the door first before you throw him in."

"Nyuk nyuk whoops sorry."

"Oh gawd I dink by noose is bwoken."

One of the guards slapped him in the back of the head.

"That's not how someone with a broken nose would talk heh heh heh."

The captive grinned despite the blood smeared all over his head from his recent face plant with the door.

"umm, heh heh heh, let me try again?"

This time, he was properly chucked into the jail cell and locked away.

"You're going to rot in here for a long time... Ethan Thomas! Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!"

"heh heh heh."

"nyuk nyuk nyuk."

"heh heh heh."

"nyuk nyuk nyuk."

"heh heh heh."

"nyuk nyuk nyuk."

"heh heh heh."

"nyuk nyuk nyuk."

"Get the fuck out of here you ass-clowns!"

They surprisingly obliged.

With an aggravated groan, Ethan Thomas sat down on a cot attached to the wall. It was the only cot in the cell, he was the only person even in the cell. The walls were gray. A grey sort of gray. There was a sink and toilet in the corner of the room. No toliet paper though.

"Pricks."

The only form of light came from a small window that could barely fit an arm, and of course it was barred. It also stood four feet higher up than an average man. Currently, a raven was perched on it. It was looking down at Ethan.

Ethan sighed. "Do you pity me too?"

The raven tilted it's head as if confused.

A cat suddenly pounced on the raven and ate it. It plunged itself into Ethan's cell, and quick as a flash, it jumped into the toilet and flushed itself down the drain.

Ethan sat there for a few moments.

Then in one quick motion he got up and hammered his fists against the wall again and again.

"Why does this weird shit always happen to me?!"

Eventually, he grew tired of turning his fists into bloody pulps and slumped against the wall. His mental exhaustion was total.

Ethan let time pass, and pass. Then, he became aware that something was wrong with the room...something ominous. It felt... worse closer to the wall so he pressed his ear to it.

He heard what sounded like heavy breathing coming from the other side of the wall. Jeez, these walls must be paper-thin for me to hear from the next cell over. What the hell is he doing in there if he's breathing that heav-

Ethan screamed and pounded on the wall.

"Hey are you masturbating in there?!"

In the next room over, Paxton Fettel sat on the floor.

He twitched.

"Hey!"

Fettel felt a change come over him. An overwhelming invisible force. In front of him, the footsteps of a small child appeared. But the child herself wasn't there.

"Mother?" He said softly.

"You're thinking about your mother while your beating your meat in there?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ethan shouted from the next cell over.

Fettel saw the footsteps stop right in front of them, and the lights outside the cell door flickered. Fettel was engulfed, and Fettel screamed.

"You. Are. A. Sick. Man!" Ethan screamed emphasizing each word.

Paxton Fettel stood up. His cell was open. He walked closer to the exit, then turned around and stared at the footsteps on the floor.

"M-mother, I always try to keep i-it clean y-you know."

At hearing those words, Ethan ran from his cot and retched into the toilet.

Still in his cell, Fettel flinched as though he were being yelled at.

"Y-yes mother." He said meekly.

Fettel made his way through the building until he came upon two Armatech guards in a lounge area. He walked over to them.

"Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk"

"Heh heh heh."

"Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk."

"Heh heh heh."

"Nyu- SPLAAAGGGhh"

As soon as the knife exited through the man's neck, Fettel threw it at the other guard. It sunk into his chest until the hilt.

A spray of blood soaked Fettel.

He grinned.

In the very sub-basement of the building (the very lowest level) the first replica soldier stirred. Then the next one; and then the next one, until the entire clone battalion was awake.

"Sound off, check in!"

"Sigma 1, excellent."

"Sigma 2, excellent."

"Sigma 3, constipated."

"Sigma 4, green."

"Sigma 5, excellent."

"Brave 1, excellent."

"Brave 2, green."

"Long live the empire!"

"Brave 4, green"

"Brave 5, excellent."

-Some time later-

"All persons present and accounted for. Everybody find the commander. Form up around him and secure a triple circle. Delta and Sigma in the outer, Gold and Fire-red in the inner, and the rest in the center."

"Do you mean Lord Vader sir? I thought he was still on Courscant hunting for Jedi?"

A burst of gunfire rang out and echoed in the basement.

"Man down."

Another burst.

"Man dead."

"Casualty of war. Enemy Rpg. Understandable. Everyone alive, find the commander."

Somewhere, thousands of miles away from the facility, the London Symphony Orchestra was playing the "Imperial March"

F.E.A.R. Headquarters

Betters turned away from the monitors in the surveillance room to face the F.E.A.R. Team as they walked in.

"We have a situation." He said to them gravely.

"My Xbox 360 just got the red rings of death."