Chapter 6: What in the Blazes?
After a nice breakfast of steak, he traveled back across the great plains. The weather was nice for a change, and the sun shined cheerfully. Now that he thought about it, the sun was a square, too.
An odd creeper strolled around aimlessly in the distance. He hiked up the hills near the edge of the forest and plains, trying to ignore the suicide bomber.
It was nearly evening as he arrived at the docks and got out of his boat, anchoring it. He examined the glowstone, wondering how it did what it did and wondering what 'Port' could possibly be be. It can't hurt to take a look before heading home.
Using his compass to change directions accurately, he walked slightly Northeast. He pushed back some brush and walked around the side of a cliff into a small valley that he hadn't noticed before.
He could make out a strange light where the valley ended in a sheer cliff face. Going closer, he realized that it was coming from a strange formation of pitch-black rock.
It was five by four with a two by three opening in the center. The opening was glowing a strange purple color that reminded him of lilacs, even though he hadn't seen lilacs since he woke up.
Trying to push the vague memory aside, he walked even closer to the rock. There were two signs on the left and right. The first one said, "The Nether" and the second one said, "Welcome to Hell!"
A strange shudder went through him. Ayol had mentioned 'the Nether' in passing. He used it like one would use a curse word. The second sign didn't do anything to cure his uneasiness.
He took another step forward and realized it made an odd sound. Looking down, he saw that within a four-square radius of the formation, there was no grass. Even though grass could've grown there, it simply didn't. The fact that life rejected the black rock made him wish he could just run away, but he didn't. The odd purple light enthralled him.
He reached out and touched it.
Did you feel that?
A door opened.
Yes, a door. A door!
Your excitement is understandable, but calm down just a little bit. Do you know what this means?
The surface. We can go there. After all this time, we can go there.
Is it possible? Is it? IS IT?
The moment he touched it, his body lost all strength. He fell through the formation, ending up enveloped in the light. It felt hot and cold. It felt like a current was being run through his skin. It felt like he had jumped into a pool of liquid steel, and then cooled and hardened.
When it ended, he was lying on the floor. Looking up, he realized that he was not in the same place.
…
WHAT THE HECK? What is this? Where am I? Why…? It took him a second to work it out. 'Port' means… portal. Great. I just teleported. But… this place is… the Nether? The words "Welcome to Hell" floated in front of his eyes.
Looking left and right, he certainly agreed that the Nether matched that description. 'Hell' was a good word for it.
He had ended up in a cave with only one opening. The rock all around was dark red and speckled. Some of it was on fire. Behind him, the portal shined.
However, none of that attracted his attention so much as the heat did. It was probably hot enough to fry an egg in its shell.
Okay. Goal one: find Ayol. This is the last place he said he was going. Goal two: leave and never come back.
He headed down the tunnel. It slowly narrowed until it was just big enough to let him through. It goes on a long way.
It felt like hours until the path suddenly turned. He checked the clock to try to determine exactly how long he had been there.
The clock turned quickly from day to night and back, and even went backwards, as if to say, "Sorry buddy, this is the Nether. Time has no meaning here."
Great, just great. Clock's not working, maps don't apply here, and compass… is spinning randomly. If not for the fact that this tunnel is going one way only, I'd get completely lost down here.
The small tunnel ended, connecting to a wide area. Finally!
He slowly lowered himself down a short hill, making a mental note to remind himself where the opening was.
The place was large and flat. Several wood-and-stone structures dotted the landscape. Other people? Excited by the idea, he quickened his pace.
He stopped suddenly. A door had opened. The creature that walked out of the dwelling looked like a pig, but was as tall as a man and walked on two legs.
His eye twitched. What… is… that?
The creature looked up at him, then turned around and walked away. "Hey… wait up! Where are you going?"
He ran after it, wondering vaguely how wood got here in the first place. The pigman stopped and turned around again, grunting.
"Oh, thanks for stopping. Uh… can you… speak?"
The pigman grunted and nodded slowly.
"Good. I was wondering if you've seen another human like me around here."
The pigman continued to nod.
"Alright. Where is he?"
The pigman didn't stop nodding.
He was somewhat confused. "Uh… hello? Where did you see him?"
The pigman stood straight and seemed proud of itself, as if it had accomplished something of great importance. It then turned and left, leaving him very confused indeed.
More doors opened, and little pigmen ran around, playing tag. The older ones stood across from each other, nodding and grunting.
All in all, he found it creepy. It's like they're stuck doing the same things over and over again. I don't know why they're doing this, but I suppose their culture makes sense to them.
He spotted another, similar village off in the distance through the odd fog that was everywhere.
By his fourth village, he wanted to massacre all of the pig-headed freaks.
He made sure not to lose his way, making sure he noted which way was which before moving on. The pigmen were everywhere, but not particularly helpful. It was as if they had a vague idea that he existed, but didn't believe it entirely. Now he wandered around in search of Ayol, or at least someone who would talk to him. He entered the fourth village's square, thinking slowly.
That's when he heard it: a giggling noise.
It sounded close and none of the pigmen seemed to care. They happily wandered about their business. The noise cooed and giggled some more, making a high pitched sound no pigman was capable of. Where is it?
He started to panic. In the fog, it was difficult to see much that was very far away. And he had heard enough weird sounds in just the tree alone to know that an unknown sound probably didn't belong to something friendly.
The noise giggled again and changed to a sort of spitting sound. He froze, wondering at the significance.
A house blew up.
The pigmen suddenly panicked, scrambling around like normal pigs would have. The spitting sound happened again and another house blew up.
One pigman grabbed a bow and shot up in the air. A fireball shot out from the fog and blew up the ground, sending the poor creature tumbling down a cliff.
"Will someone here tell me what that is? Somebody tell me!"
The pigmen ignored him and equipped themselves with various tools and weapons. A few took aim at something that started to emerge from the fog.
It was gigantic. It looked like somebody had taken one of the giant squid of the surface and twisted it, mutating it into something most unnatural. It cooed, then shrieked as one of the pigmen shot it. It spat fire out of its mouth and blew up another house.
I have to stop it before it blows up everything! He pulled out the bow and quiver he had found in Ayol's tree. Before this point, he had never really had a chance to use it, but now seemed like a good time. I hope I'm a good sniper.
He cocked an arrow, drew back, breathed in, and fired.
And completely missed. Oh, come on!
He tried again, remembering where the arrow went and how it felt.
The arrow shot forwards and struck the thing in the eye. The floating creature shrieked again and melted, leaving behind a bit of gunpowder.
He relaxed, then turned around to face the village. The pigmen had gone back to their business of standing around and nodding at each other. "What, not even a thank you?"
He turned around, then felt a tug on his pants. Looking down, he saw a young pigman holding out some kind of red fungus. "Uh… thanks?" He took it gingerly. This is too weird. I need to get out of here.
He climbed the stairs as quickly as he could. "AAAAAAAAAAH!"
Behind him, the horde reached the bottom and started climbing as well. "SQUEEEEEEAL!"
He had found a gigantic fortress made out of peculiar dark bricks. When he had gone up to it, he had found several pigmen who looked rotten and made half-grunting, half-moaning sounds. Great, zombies have invaded Hell.
However, walking by them provoked no response at all. Maybe they only eat pig people?
The first clue that they shouldn't have been messed with should've been that they were zombies. The second should've been that they all carried gold swords. Just to see what would happen, he had swung at one, chopping its head off.
Apparently, that's all it took for the rest to go on the offense.
"I'm sorry! Stop chasing me! AAAAAAAAH!" He ran down the corridors, getting lost.
The zombie pigmen didn't stop advancing. There were at least a dozen of them, and all of them charged full tilt, waving their swords around.
Finding a niche, he jumped in it, rolling out of sight. He peeked around the corner.
The zombie pigmen, after losing sight of him, seemed to awaken from a deep sleep. They all turned and wandered away slowly.
He sighed. "That's one way to kill yourself: attack the zombie pigmen."
There was a groaning noise. He froze, turning slowly.
He was in a small jail. Multiple areas were sectioned off with iron bars. "He-hello?"
The groaning sound happened again. He zeroed in on a single cell. In it was a girl who was maybe ten years old, lying on the floor. "Hello?"
She coughed weakly. "Water… water."
He paused for a minute to think this through. He was elated that he found a fellow human, of course, but… I need to get her out of here right now. I haven't seen any water at all down here… I'm sorry, Ayol. But this girl is more important than you right now.
He pulled out his iron pickaxe and banged it against the bars until they broke. The girl winced. "No, no. Too loud. They'll come."
He didn't hesitate and smashed the last bars apart. "Yeah, yeah. If something comes, I'll deal with it."
He picked up the girl with a bit of effort. It was surprising to him because he could carry huge amounts of solid rock, sand, and dirt. Doing that was effortless, but this girl was somehow heavier than all of that.
He moved as best as he could through the fortress. The girl helped ever so often by pointing towards the way out.
When he reached the entrance, he heard some strangely heavy breathing. "Uh… what?"
The girl winced again. "They heard you. Blazes. They have good hearing. They build the…" She broke off into an extended fit of coughing.
He frowned. "Don't speak. I'll get you out of here. Just don't speak."
The breathing became more pronounced.
Someone took the human girl.
The same person opened the door!
Don't kill him. Scare him, sure! But we need him to lead us to the door!
He ran as fast as he could. Even then, his arms were tiring and the breathing sound was catching up. They were no longer in the fortress, but he still couldn't see his pursuers.
He ran into the third pigman village. "Just two more, then a long tunnel. Do you think you're going to make it?"
The girl smiled a sad smile and nodded.
There were several squeals. He turned around to see his opponents at last. There were about a dozen of them. And they were killing all of the pigmen.
The blazes were seemingly made of smoke and bars of white-hot iron, with a humanoid head that was constantly twitching and grinning. They floated above the ground and shot fireballs that they formed within their core.
One of them spoke with a gravelly voice. "Run little piggies, run! Blaze, blaze, blaze!"
He groaned. "I've had enough talking monster issues with the skeletons…"
The girl groaned. "Run… faster…"
He didn't need more prompting than that.
The human boy runs quickly.
Surprising that he's strong enough to carry all of that armor, tools, and her, and run quickly.
The surface. We're close to it. I can feel it. Just through this narrow tunnel…
Hey, Aldrajl, you're in front. Fire off a few charges to let them know we're still serious.
I got it, don't worry.
Three more shots hit the wall behind them, setting the reddish rock on fire. Despite that, he managed to stay quiet, not cursing or yelling, although he really wanted to. He was more worried about the girl than himself, and the tunnel was long.
He stepped into the wide cavern at the end and ran full-tilt towards the portal. His arms and legs burned with the effort, but he jumped through without a second thought.
A door…
A door.
A door!
A DOOR!
A DOOR!
A DOOR! A DOOR! A DOOR!...
The hot/cold/electric/hardening sensation was the least of his worries. What if there are monsters around? He checked the clock, surprised to see that it was earlier than when he went through. I got an hour at least.
He ran as quickly as he could to the nearest pool of water and set the girl down gently. He pulled a small bottle out of his backpack and filled it with water, putting it in the girl's mouth to let her drink. He did this over and over again.
The blazes left their realm and took in the new sights. Grass. Trees. Water, especially, was a new one for them.
So what do we do now, Yamataq?
Well, what do you suppose we should do? Let's go find our creator. But first, you see that grassy mountain way off in the distance?
Yes, Yamataq, we do.
That's our new home. And the first thing we're going to do is burn every living thing on it. Burn them all.
It was night before the girl seemed like she was recovered. "I'm… I'm good now. Do you have any food? I'm ravenous. The blazes don't feed prisoners very well. They wouldn't listen when I told them I can't eat fire."
He smiled tentatively and handed her some steak. "Why'd they throw you in there in the first place?"
The girl ate quickly. "I was from 'the surface.' Which is what they call the Overworld."
"The Overworld?"
The girl pointed around. "Earth, if you want. This place. The Nether is an alternate dimension. And not fun. They wanted to get here."
He nodded, then looked around at the dark clearing. "We should get going before monsters show up."
The girl raised an eyebrow. "Really? Why?"
He hesitated. "What? What do you mean, 'why?' Monsters are going to show up."
Right on cue, there was a clicking sound. He pulled his sword out of his sheath and spun around. "Get behind me."
Seven skeletons stepped out of the shadows. Gashface stepped forwards. "We follow tracks. New human, you die, now. As different one of us say, 'pincushion.' With many pins." Finally. Danger goes away.
The other six skeletons chuckled, smiling with eternal grins. They pulled out arrows and drew their bows.
He swallowed. Even with his armor, there was no way he could survive this. "St-stay behind me… huh?" The girl was no longer there and his shovel, bow, and quiver were missing.
There was a large crack. He turned to face forwards only to be presented with a strange image.
The girl was using the stone shovel to bash in the skeletons' heads. The closest skeletons, surprised, were unable to react in time. She quickly switched to the bow and fired off three shots, each one ending up in a skeleton's forehead. They all dropped like rocks, melting into nothingness until Gashface was the only one left.
It growled. "You."
The girl smiled. "Me. Hello, Mr. Inspiration."
Gashface shot an arrow, but the girl deflected it with her shovel and jumped forwards. "Allow me to make that gash wider." She plunged the shovel through its face as easily as one plunges it into the ground. Gashface melted, leaving behind its bow and two bones.
The girl cheered. "Loot! Sweet!"
He stared in awe. "What? How did you…? Who are you?"
The girl spun on her heel to face him. "Well, if you're from around here, you've probably heard of me. I'm Ayol, hunter of zombies and bane of skeletons. And I'd like to thank you for rescuing me."