Espada Boot Camp

Disclaimer: I want to own Bleach, but I don't.

Thank you everyone who was like, "come on! Write, we're pretty sure you're still alive! More, more! We wanna know what happens. Who's next? Don't give up!" It was great, well not really. I was being yelled at by people I didn't even know personally. But thanks! Thank you ashadowedphoenix, and Shinigami117 for adding my story to your alert list (and thank you Nee-chan for telling me the difference between favoriting and alerting, yes, I'm that retarded). Thank you applestoapples (again, as always :3), cool guy 33 (re-again, re-as always :3), CrazyAnimeluver333, and SeasprayLuv (do your socks match? Because mine never do -.-) for the reviews. And thank you I.-.-.I Kuroyagi I.-.-.I, SeasprayLuv (reviewing and favoriting? Sweetness), vienna13 for favoriting. And thank you everyone who reads, but is too lazy to review or favorite or alert.

I have school now so the updates will slow DRAMATICALLY! I'm sure you've noticed. I'm busy, so this story will be on hiatus until I have time to write (i.e. Thanksgiving break, winter break, summer). Also! I noticed that the last chapter was intended to be after this one, so yeah... my bad.

Also, would you like to become my editors? I'll dedicate a special 'thank you' section to you, and might fit you in the story... maybe.

Aizen and co. were walking through the desert at a whopping speed of .05 miles per hour. Why such a fast pace? They were tracking the slowest moving targets ever. Two Hollows with insane reiatsu that Aizen was practically ogling over.

"Aizen. Want. Hollows. Now."

"Well, Aizen-sama, maybe we should jus' round 'em up now."

"Gin."

"Yah?"

"We can't dooooo thaaaaaaat."

"Aizen-sama, if I may intrude, you are whining, and that is a very non-leader-like quality."

"I knooooowwwww thaaaaaaattttt, , but I waaaaaaaant them nooooooooowwww."

"Then let's jus' go an' round 'em up now, an' get 'em to join us. I want more people to talk to cuz ya'll are borin'."

By now, Tousen was quite annoyed with the constant bickering, and Barragan just wanted to get the two Hollow bastards and leave. However, Tousen beat Barragan to voicing his opinion,

"Patience, Gin."

"I know!" Gin shouted, completely ignoring Tousen, "When patience fails force prevails! TALLY HO!"

Gin rushed forward screaming, fist in air. If no one had seen him then they would have mistaken him for a small school girl being chased by boys with worms.

The group did not wish to see a bloody Gin so three of them followed suit and charged forward screaming their ferocious battle cry, which sounded oddly like a girl screaming as well.

Halibel refused to risk breaking her fish bowl, and ultimately suffocating, so she stayed behind to watch her new allies.

However Barragan, Tousen, and Aizen went. As usual Barragan's back gave out, so he was down for the count five steps into the charge. Tousen, alternatively, was fighting history and managed to stay on a relatively strait course. Aizen, on the other hand, was slower than usual because of a string Tousen had tied around him earlier, somewhat like a leash. So Aizen was, in a sense, a seeing-eye dog. Tousen's bitch.

All the while Ulquiorra was just flying over head watching the show unfold before him. If he had a video camera with him, he was guaranteed to win $10,000 on America's Funniest Home Videos. Alas, his 'get-rich-quick' scheme could go no further, so he decided to watch and contemplate on how retarded his new allies were.

"How could beings so dumb exist in this world?"

The more he contemplated this, the more confused he became. Each theory he came up with would mean that the intelligent should be dead, but that was not a possibility for he and Halibel were alive and well.

"Do not try to comprehend their foolishness, Ulquiorra."

Halibel had notice Ulquiorra flapping about lazily in a circle with a puzzled look etched across his face.

"I suppose, but still. Their existence makes no sense. Perhaps there is no meaning in this world."

"You are a constant downer, aren't you?"

Ulquiorra paid no heed to this last comment, but rather flew down to help these bumbling idiots get their targets. He flew over Barragan, still writhing in pain, Tousen and Aizen, who had passed out from carrying twice his weight, thus tripping Tousen, and then Gin, who had stopped to catch his breath, and landed in front of the two Hollows.

His landing was rather unorthodox because there was no room to land; the targets were surrounded by dead Hollows who crumpled under weight of the reiatsu emanating from the two targets. Therefore, Ulquiorra just landed on the largest Hollow.

"I am sorry to bother you, but I have a request for you two."

The larger of the two looked up. His eyes were glazed over, like a dead animal's eyes. There was no life in them.

"You. How can you be so close to us?"

His voice was void of life. It was not depressing, like Ulquiorra's, but there was no meaning in it.

"How has our reiatsu not killed you?" The other one piped up. Its voice was somewhat more characterized than the other's. It had a child-like aura about it.

"I may not have as much reiatsu as you, but my allies and I have enough reiatsu to withstand being near you. Now, as I was saying before, we have a request for the two of you. Will you join us? We are gathering an army; you will have to ask Aizen-sama for the details. He is a shinigami, but he is revolting against them. Will you come?"

"DAYMN! Dat's da most I've ever heard you say at once, Ulqui-bat-san!"

Gin's head popped up from behind a decaying body close to Ulquiorra's dead perch.

Ulquiorra threw a glance of annoyance, and then proceeded to knock Gin 100 feet away from him with a flick of his tail.

"We shall come."

"Yeah. This desert's so damn lonely. Only being with Starrk is boring. All he does is complain about not having sake*."

Aizen's head was the next to pop up from behind a corpse, "where have you had sake before?"

"A shinigami that wandered into this God-forsaken land had some."

By now, the moon had crept out from behind the blanket of clouds to cast its light upon the barren land. The two Hollows were now visible under the pale cast of the eternal full moon.

They resembled wolves. They had the body shape of wolves, but Starrk, the larger of the two, had black ruin-like markings on his gray pelt, while Lilinette had white ruin-like markings on her gray pelt. Both masks were bone white. The masks had the top jawbone, but no lower jaw bone, so only one row of teeth could be seen. The masks had two oversized fangs sticking from them. These masks had no marking like other masks. In fact, the Hollows, themselves, were quite plain. Their eyes were grey, unlike the typical yellow, and they had black slits, like cats. Their jaws beneath their masks looked very strong, but unlike a dog's mouth, there was no drool just falling like a waterfall from their mouths. They were civilized. Starrk was the size of a full grown wolf, while Lilinette was the size of a wolf pup.

Lilinette was sitting, gnawing on a dead Hollow that closely resembled a turkey (hey, even Hollows need a little food and a Thanksgiving, everyone not in America is missing out), while Starrk sat a bit off to the side glancing at her as though she were retarded.

"We have no other company. I suppose we will come, perhaps we may find more Hollows who can withstand us to chase away this tormenting loneliness." With that the two got up and followed Aizen and co. as they went to gather Gin, Barragan, Halibel, and Tousen, whom were scattered in every which direction within a 100 foot radius.

I've come up with a new theory. People enjoy hearing about how Bob is being hurt because they won't review and favorite and all that good stuff, so I'm giving Bob ice cream every time you don't do said things above, and I'll slap him each time you do one of said things above. So, please, just review and feel good because you aren't Bob.

And, if any of you have a Gaiaonline account, I'm lonely, find me, my user is the same there as it is here. Me no like to remember 10,000 names.