Ok, so I'm an insomniac that can't sleep at the moment. After posting chapter 5 I just couldn't let it go. So, here's chapter 6. I'll give a warning to the content, it does imply rape, but nothing graphic. You've been warned. Thanks again for reading, and reviewing is love.

Chapter 6 Nightmares

She could hear Brooke and Rachel downstairs, just mumbled voices though, she couldn't tell exactly what they were saying. She lay back on the bed, not really realizing how tired and weak she had become. It wasn't long until her mind went blank and her breathing evened out, she was sleeping. Sometimes she would actually dream good things, things that she really wanted to happen, things she really wanted to say. Sometimes sleep wasn't really that bad. This, unfortunately, wasn't one of those times.

In her mind she was back in the apartment, hers and Brooke's apartment. She was laying back on the bed, radio blaring Fall Out Boy, just thinking random thoughts.

"Hey buddy."

She sat up to see Brooke standing in the doorway. Her long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was wearing a red shirt with spaghetti straps and blue jeans.

"Hey." Sliding over she made room for Brooke to sit down.

"I've got something to tell you P. Sawyer." Her voice was almost cold. No caring, no concern, nothing.

"Ok, I'm listening." She hoped the little bit of fear she had felt hadn't seeped into her voice.

"Well Peyt, it seems you talk in your sleep."

Almost instantly she felt her mind flash back to Jake and the way she had blurted out her feelings for Lucas subconsciously.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"It is when you confess that you have feelings for your best friend." Brooke stood, walking in front of her, blocking the door off just incase the girl wanted to escape. "Anything you'd like to say now?"

She sat there silent, trying to look past Brooke to the door. The tone of Brooke's voice wasn't happy, and she really didn't like the glare she was receiving either. Peyton hated the feeling of being trapped. She had every since Ian.

"I think you were right, she does lead people on." Brooke was now looking over Peyton's shoulder.

She didn't want to look, but fear and curiosity took hold of her. Turning, she saw him. Blood still pouring from the open wound in his chest, that same sickening smile across his face. "You're in jail, I saw you in jail."

"Now is that anyway to say hello?" He smiled as he looked at Brooke. "She's still just a tease."

"I think you're right Ian, when she's sleeping, she's in love with me, but when she's awake it's a different person." All in one motion, Brooke stepped aside so that Ian was now standing between Peyton and the door.

"Maybe we should teach your best friend here some manners."

She felt his hands on her shoulders, pushing her back hard on the bed. She started to fight, throw a punch, anything, but realized her hands were being pinned down. Looking from Ian she saw Brooke above her, both hands with a grip on her's holding them down to the bed.

"Brooke, please..... help me." She pleaded. This wasn't happening, not like this.

"Help you Pey, you won't let me." Pinning down one of Peyton's arms with her knee she let her free had trace the scars there on her arm. "You don't trust me to help you. Hell, you don't even trust me to love you."

Panic took over, she felt paralyzed. She couldn't move, she could barely breath. She could feel Ian pulling on her pajama bottoms, easily pulling them off. She could feel the cold air as it hit her bare skin, sending a shiver through her body. She wouldn't look at him, that would make it too real. Somewhere in everything she found her voice, if you could call it that. "Brooke, you're hurting me."

"Hurting you? I'm hurting you? That's real rich Peyton. You screwed around behind my back with Lucas, not once but twice. You told me I was dead to you, Ian here will be my witness to that, and last but not least, I could really have loved you, but look at what you've done to yourself. It wasn't drugs this time, I guess I could give you a gold star for that."

She felt her body tense up, still trying so hard to get her hands free from the brunette's grasp. Looking back down she saw Ian, his knees pressing against her bare thighs holding them apart. "Don't....please, don't do this."

"Too late." He smirked as he shoved his body forward.

"BROOKE!!!" She screamed, pleaded, one more time as pain wracked her body.

"Peyton!!"

"Don't let him do this, please Brooke."

"Peyton!!!"

"Help me....please."

"Peyton, open your eyes, just look at me."

She could feel hands on her arms more strongly now. She struggled trying her best to break free from them, gasping for any air that her lungs could take in.

"Peyton!! Open your eyes damnit!!!!!"

Looking up she saw a difference in Brooke this time. Her hair wasn't in a ponytail, instead it fell around her face. Her eyes weren't cold either, they were laced with concern, worry, even fear. The grip loosened a little on her arms.

"It was a bad dream Peyton, just a nightmare."

Everything that had happened had seemed so real and she just couldn't shake it from her mind. She felt as a hand brush her hair back from her face. Too quickly she darted off the bed, her mind racing. "You let him do it Brooke. You helped him hold me down, you said he was right, I just lead people on." She backed away from the brunette. Her words spoken between sobs.

"I'd never do that to you Peyt, you know that." Brooke took a step closer but stopped when she watched as Peyton backed up further, her back hitting the wall behind her. "That wasn't real, it was just a dream."

"No, no it wasn't. I could feel him, I could smell his cologne, I could smell your perfume. You said...you said" Her mind clicked. It had really been a dream. She was so confused and she knew the girl in front of her could see that.

Brooke took a step forward, her hands held cautiously in front of her. "It's me P. Sawyer. It's the Brooke that was there when your mom died, the me that was their when you got your first training bra. I'm not the Brooke from that dream. I'm the Brooke who is here for you, and who's never gonna leave you. Ok?"

Peyton looked up, breath still ragged, heart still racing. But the Brooke that was there in front of her was not the one she had seen with Ian. She let herself fall into her arms. Both girls shrinking to the floor. She cried harder than she had in a long time. Just thinking of what dream Brooke was doing to her, what she was saying to her, it tore her apart.

"I would never hurt you Peyton. Please believe me on that." Brooke felt the blonde nod in her chest as she continued to hold her, she could feel her trembling. Looking up, Brooke caught site of Rachel standing in the doorway, big brown watery eyes staring back at her.

She had been standing there the whole time, part of her wanting to help, but part of her knowing that Brooke had to be the one their for Peyton right now. She felt a tear as it fell, but didn't bother to wipe it away. She nodded to Brooke and mouthed, talk to her. Brooke nodded back as Rachel turned and started down the hallway.

Peyton still sat, curled into Brooke. Her breaths had slowed but she was still a little shaky. She was able to find her voice once again and finally spoke. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Brooke wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore about the dream, but the only way for her best friend to heal was for her to be there to listen.

"I'm sorry you saw me like this."

Pushing her back gently, Brooke cupped Peyton's face in her hand, tilting the girls head up so that their eyes were meeting. "Don't do that. Don't make this out to be some kind of burden or something you're embarrassed about. It's not like that and you know it. You've seen me on my worst days, and you always helped me make it through them. It's my turn to do that now, and there's no where else I'd rather be." Sighing, she let the question out that she knew she needed an answer to. "What did I say..... in your dream?"

Peyton tensed at the question. She couldn't keep doing this though. She thought back to her conversation with goth chick, what happens when I push you too far? The voice played over and over in her head. Death almost seems like a good idea. No sooner than she thought it, she regretted it. Why did this have to be so hard. She took in a long breath, breaking her stare from Brookes. "You said that I didn't trust you to help me, and that I didn't trust you to love me." That last part was almost a whisper, but she knew it had been heard.

"You do know I love you, right?" Her voice was even more raspy and Peyton knew it was because she was crying.

"I know Brooke, but I don't think you're gonna like me very much when I tell you the next part."

Brooke waited, tears still falling but she didn't care. Rachel's voice ran through her head, you're gonna have to trust Peyton before she can trust you. "Peyton, there's nothing you could say right now that would make the way I feel about you change. You mean everything to me, you're my heart."

Guilt started to flow though her now, she couldn't stop it. She pulled herself from Brooke's body, but still allowed her arm to drape over her shoulders. "You don't understand, you know when I told you that I had done things that I wasn't proud of?" She didn't look at her, but she knew she had to have nodded. "This is what I meant." She held her arm out, turning it over so that the scars weren't hidden anymore. She knew they weren't as prominent as they had been before, but you could still see them.

Brooke took hold of her arm, looking more closely now. There were dozens of tiny red scars, they went from just above the wrist up to at least the elbow. "I don't....wait, you did this?"

Peyton nodded.

"You did these to yourself?"

Again she nodded, still looking away.

"Why...how?"

"I used a razor to make the cuts. I can't explain to you how it makes me feel or how it makes me not feel. I just wanted to be numb. I didn't want to hurt anymore."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm mad as hell right now that you would do this, but these are old, right?"

"Those are. I had to hide them better when I found out I was coming to the beach with you."

"There's more?" Shock, disbelief, all that was terrifying to the blonde was there in Brooke's voice.

"Yea." She still wouldn't look up. "I guess you're pretty disgusted right now, huh? I must look pretty pathetic." She reached up, wiping yet another tear from her face.

"Mad, yes. Hurt, yes. Disgusted, no. Pathetic, never. Peyton you have been through so much in such a short time, I'm surprised you haven't done worse." She thought about it for a second. "You haven't done worse, right? I mean these weren't you......trying to kill yourself, were they?"

"No, Brooke. I just wanted an escape, something to make me feel less. I didn't want to hurt, I didn't want to be scared, and I didn't feel like I deserved to be loved or to love you." She bit her lip. She did not by any means mean for that last part to come out.

"I know you love me Peyt, and I love you. But the truth is, I haven't exactly been honest with you either." She took in a deep breath. "I love you Peyton, more than anything, and more than just my best friend."

This got the girls attention. She looked up, her big green eyes meeting those brown ones that held her heart.

"I know that may be hard to hear, but in order for you to trust me, I need to trust you. It's ok if you don't...."

She wasn't able to finish, mainly because of the set of lips that now pressed firmly against hers.

Fire, Brooke thought. I'm on fire. Heat rushed up her body and could feel the urgency in the blondes kiss.

Peyton reached up, her hand tangling up in Brooke's hair. The kiss was new, but it held something familiar, almost like it was nothing but natural. She let herself get lost in it, until her chest began to burn. Air, I need air. She pulled away, separating herself from Brooke and taking in a deep breath. She watched as her friend did the same. Oh. My. Damn.

Brooke reached up, one finger resting lightly on her slightly swollen lips. Peyton had kissed her. Peyton freaking Sawyer had just kissed her.