A cool breeze picked up, tossing leaves into the air. Constance drew the scarf closer to her face to keep the chill from stinging. She could not stay here for long, less someone would see her and think she was preying on the kids at the school across the street. But she had to see for herself. It was eight thirty on the dot according to her tiny golden watch when she spotted the pair making their way up the sidewalk. Julie was holding onto Karen's hand but fidgeting. Constance watched the pair make their way to the elementary school. According to Constance's math, Julie was six and would be in the first grade today. She watched Julie step on fallen leaves, crushing them with what little brute force she had being six and tiny. She toted a backpack and lunch box, her curls bouncing with each pounce she inflicted on the innocent leaves. Constance watched Karen allow Julie a few assaults on the leaves before gently tugging on her hand and forcing her to walk normally now. Constance felt the urge to run at the pair and snatch the little girl from that rigid woman; in her world, she could crunch as many leaves as she wanted. But she had to refrain, there were people watching, and any move she made would constitute a kidnapping charge. So, she stood rooted to her spot across the street, shielded by several trees and shrubs, watching not just Julie and Karen but other parents with their children. Despite the young age at which she had given birth, she could not recall a time when she didn't feel like one of these exhausted parents. Her brother was so successful, and she was the screw up, yet she had to work twice as hard to earn better grades at that girls' school. The school bell ringing signaled the end of her watch as Karen knelt to kiss Julie goodbye before scooting her off into the building with her friends and classmates. Constance felt a rage come over her when she saw Karen hug and kiss her daughter but there was nothing she could do to change this situation now. She wondered how many more painful encounters she was willing to put herself through just to see Julie grow up. As she disappeared behind the bushes and back towards her car, she knew the answer would be upwards of infinity.
The pink and silver bike had completely given out as Julie made a turn around the corner, propelling her onto the ground, her knees scrapping against the brittle cement sidewalk. She braced herself with her hands and they too became bloodied when she landed hard onto the concrete. Constance felt an overwhelming urge to run to Julie again in her time of need and because no one else had witnessed the accident. If she revealed her presence to Julie now, she knew she would have to explain to Karen and Patrick what happened, and they would likely throw a fit, so she forced herself to stay hidden in her car. Julie stood up on shaky legs and scrambled to pick up her bike which looked bent in several places. Constance watched Julie drag the bike, limping, as she walked back to her house which was only a few yards away. Julie dumped her bike on the front lawn before continuing to limp up the walkway. Karen must have seen Julie from the window because she raced out the front door and met her halfway, turning to yell back into the house for Patrick who emerged, took one look at Julie covered in blood and her twisted bike to realize what happened before scooping her up and carrying her inside. Constance did not see the little girl shed one tear as she went through this ordeal. She waited and within twenty minutes, Julie was back outside, sitting on the porch steps eating ice cream, both her knees bandaged up with gauze as well as her wrists. Constance didn't have to worry about this kid, she was tough, as evidenced by the way she returned to her bike after eating her ice cream and twisted the front handles back to normal with her bare hands before starting to ride off down the sidewalk again.
Summer seemed to linger on the east coast longer than usual. Hot, sticky, humid weather remained even though August was ending. Constance used a cheap, handmade paper fan to try and cool down as she sat in her car, parked outside the recreational pool and playground. There were large trees tucked further on back along the property and from her car she could see Julie and her friends climbing high into their branches. Julie's group of friends consisted of all boys now, something most ten-year-old girls deemed as "weird" but from what Constance observed, Julie got along better with the boys in her class. She watched Julie climb higher and higher even though some of those boys began to protest her risky choice. Julie stuck her tongue out at those boys and kept climbing. Constance couldn't help but smile and think to herself "That's my girl"
The station wagon backed out of the driveway, toting Patrick, Karen and Julie inside. Constance watched the car roll down the street, make a stop at the stop sign then turn onto the main road. She waited until it was out of her sight before she stepped out of her car and proceeded up the walkway to the side door. There were, a considerable amount of bushed and shrubs to conceal her and she prayed that no neighbors were watching as she dug around in her purse for a bobby pin. Picking the old fashioned and poorly fastened lock was easy and the side door popped open with ease. Constance slid inside, locking it behind her. She walked slowly around the kitchen and into the living room, taking in the feel of the house. Knick knacks and books occupied the shelves. Pictures hung on the walls, nothing fancy, just generic scenes of nature and flowers. The dishes were clean, there was no laundry in the hamper and not a speck of dust on any of the tables. The purity of the place made Constance think of her Catholic school and a shiver ran up her spine. She detested religion and how it had influenced her parents over the years. But for the grace of God, she and Patrick did not fall for that nonsense, but she got the impression that Karen was somewhat of a devout follower. Constance continued her trek through the house, stopping at a large cabinet and shelf system that housed the TV, books, CD's, a radio, old record player and various other junk. Tucked away on one of the shelves was a photo album. Constance snatched it up and began thumbing through it. She stopped at various photos of Julie at different stages of her life. When she spotted duplicate photos, she tore them out and tucked them away into her purse. Each photo represented a different side of Julie; there was the frilly school picture of her as a child, wearing a ruffled dress and her wild curls forcibly tamed by Karen prior to the photo. Then there was Julie posing outside with some friends, covered in mud, no doubt allowed by Patrick who was more care free. Julie standing next to an old car in the garage. Julie on a bike. Julie blowing out birthday candles on a cake. Constance felt her heart ache with a bizarre longing to have been there for these moments but deep down, the conflicting notion that she never could have been the parent Julie needed. She took at least ten duplicate photos before becoming aware of the time; five forty. She put the album back as she had found it and let herself back out of the house. She drove to the high school and got a parking space near the back of the lot. There was a makeshift stage set up on the football field and parents and families were seated in the bleachers. She leaned on the hood of her car, listening to the principal reading off the names of each graduating student. Thank goodness their last name was early in the alphabet, Constance thought of the warm night and the way she was forced to stand out here in the parking lot. When the principal called out "Julie Elisabeth Finlay" Constance stood up on the hood of her car to see better and sure enough, the mass of blonde curls was easily visible amongst the crowd of black gowns and caps. Julie walked across the stage and accepted her diploma, never looking back towards the parking lot, never knowing there was an extra source of love there for her.