Chapter 6

Christine uncurled like a contented cat upon the couch. A genius, some years ago, had decided that placing indoor furniture into the garden area of campus would develop an environment to decrease stress levels of students, how right they were she purred to herself.

Stretching to the full length of the seat her top lifted partially to expose her stomach. The sun spilled onto her skin, warming her from her bones out towards her flesh.

The past weeks had been like a dream. A time caught in a cloud disconnected from reality.

Spock's recovery had been slightly slower than expected. Even with the delay it felt too soon for him to be contacted by Kirk to arrange for his return to duty. Tomorrow he would resume his position by the Captain's side, and she would stay on Earth.

There had been no more interludes in her room, professionalism had finally won out over her romantic indulgences. Which is not to say that there had not been a shift in the dynamic one-which had had glimpses of potential perfection. Always the potential, never the realisation, a small tear formed in the corner of her eye, quickly wiped away.

As she shifted her position to sleep a little longer, a chill was cast over her body. Turning her head, whilst shielding her eyes from the suns rays a silhouetted figure stood before her, she smiled. She did not need to see his face to know who it was.

"Hello Mr Spock"

"Doctor Chapel"

"Care to join me on the couch?" Spock continued to stand, hands positioned behind his back. "Or alternatively take a chair", she waved her hand beside her.

"A chair will be adequate at this time"

She swung her legs to the side to be able to face him. Arms on each leg she leant forward to better observe his movements.

"Its remarkable, there is no discernible difficulty with your actions. I know I know medicine, but after the hell your body has been through it still amazes me that there is hardly any signs of what the avalanche put you through"

"Perhaps it is a reflection of the quality of the medical treatment I received at this facility"

"Perhaps", her grin nearly consumed her face.

"I have come to request your company at dinner. The Captain has confirmed my return to the Enterprise by 0600 tomorrow"

Her grin faded slightly "Oh, I knew it would be early I didn't think it would be quite that early…"changing tact she quickly asked "will Leonard be beaming down?"

"It is unlikely that he will have time to accommodate a meeting, and given the previous interaction with teaching staff on these grounds, it is likely that the Captain has recommended against it"

Her smile returned at the thought of his last visit to the hospital "Dinner would be lovely Spock, it would give us a chance to .." she paused

"Indeed" the silence between them now was more a reflection of mutual calm, rather than awkward disturbance. Sitting in the sun, neither spoke absorbing the moment, the smallest finger on each of their hands barely touching.

A small child, peering at them from the corner of the garden, broke the moment.

"It appears we have an admirer"

Christine looked around at the girl and encouraged her forward. Christine knew her as the daughter of one of the attending lecturers.

"How are you Madeleine?"

"I am good Doctor Chapel how are you?".

Madeleine was very polite. She had been raised on campus as such had much to do with visiting medical staff and dignitaries.

"I am good too" Christine responded, the girl looked from Christine up to Spock, who had sat silently through the interaction, and back to Christine. She bit her bottom lip as if holding back something she wished to say.

"Is there something you want to tell us?", Christine asked gently

"Mummy said I shouldn't bother the Doctors"

"Its alright", Christine said "I give you permission to bother us"

Madeleine continued to stand before them, appearing to consider her words. She then looked directly at Spock. "His eyes smile when he looks at you" she giggled "its nice". With that she ran from their side back into the garden.

Christine sat slightly open mouthed "well.. bless the imagination of children" she said as she watched her disappear into the trees surrounding the grounds.

"And their willingness to express truth without censure" Spock responded.

-000-

Christine sat at her desk, quietly drawing meaningless circles on the pages of her lecture notes. There was no intention to her actions, just slowly dragging herself deeper into her private thoughts.

She had walked away from Spock, she had made a conscious decision to say goodbye to the ache that accompanied her interactions with him. A strength had grown in her the further she had pulled from him, then he had kissed her. With that one act he had brought her back. Then he had kissed her again, and, she suspected, would not be beyond a third attempt if she allowed it. She realised clearly that a third time could end any status quo she hoped to maintain in relation to the current situation. With that thought she threw the pen onto the desk, watching it roll onto the floor.

She was under two years from graduating as a fully qualified doctor – fast tracked due to previous experience and clear focus. The last year of her study could be conducted aboard a star ship, or medical facility on another planet, under guidance of an agreed Doctor. Had she thought of forwarding a request to Captain Kirk, one year under McCoy, in Spock's world. Of course it had crossed her mind, more than once and almost hourly as the days had come closer to Spock leaving. Would she just be recreating the hell she had escaped from by transferring to Earth.

"No" she thought "it would be different, things are changed between us…better?" she could not answer her own question. Was what she had better than before? The only fact she could clearly state was that now the situation seemed increasingly unstable. Ironic, the chaos of her previous feelings had been predictable, as she had only had her own chaos to manage. Now there was Spock, with his trepidatious attempts into the world of wanting.

A knock brought her out of her doubts.

"Coming" she yelled

Spock was standing in the doorway, dressed in black. It was his final night in civilian clothes before returning to the Enterprise. Her breath caught sharply in her throat at the sight of him. There was a masculinity that purely ebbed from his person, contained by a sense of almost regal calm.

"You look… umm lovely" she managed to get the words out.

" I had intended to wear the Enterprise uniform, however considered you may prefer more casual attire"

"Good presumption", she smiled, "very very good presumption"

Grabbing her bag she went to leave, Spock remained standing at the door.

"Spock, come on. We have reservations and I hate being late"

"Christine you have forgotten your coat"

"My coat? Spock its 104 outside I'm not going to be wearing a coat"

Spock remained standing. Christine turned back, she had seen him face the most scary situations, life and death moments of no return. She had not, however often see him falter at a door in relation to clothing.

He continued to look at her, in her flowing blue, low cut halter-necked dress, cut into her waist. Two students walked past, clearly appreciating Christine's new attire, one ran directly into Spock as he turned to gain a greater view of Christine's near perfect naked back.

"Ah oh sorry Sir", Spock acknowledged the student with a raised eyebrow. Christine had a flashback to a similar situation aboard the Enterprise, at that time Spock had radiated an anger that had disturbed her. It was subtler now, but she could sense under her skin his annoyance at the young man's attention to her.

"Mr Spock", she stated firmly "I wish to eat, you can choose to remain standing in the hallway, or you can accompany me – either way I am leaving"

She started to walk away towards the exit, when a circle of warmth was felt against her back. He had chosen to follow her and make no more comment, however he now stood with his hand firmly upon the small of her back. It would be very clear to any pending admirers that attention towards Christine this evening would not be tolerated unless it was from the man who stood beside her.

-000—

The meal, the music, the two small candles flickering against the night sky all combined to create a swirl of convivial conversation.

Questions had raised themselves in Christine's mind throughout the evening, though the ambience of the night had dissuaded her pursuing them, the ambience and perhaps some element of fear of the responses.

Returning to her room, Spock waited at the door as Christine walked in.

"Spock, its ok – come in"

Spock moved inside and took a seat near the small table she had been using to study on. She excused herself briefly to go to the bathroom. Looking at herself in the mirror she spoke softly to her reflection.

"Its now or never, set your boundaries clarify your expectations and then…" groan…. "And then"

She untied her hair and splashed water onto her face before returning. Spock was still seated, appearing nonplussed by her slowly emerging anxiety.

"Tea?"

"No Christine, I am not thirsty, however I believe it would be appropriate to use this time to discuss this current situation"

Christine moved to her bed, sitting crossed legged in her gown as she positioned herself opposite him.

"What exactly is our current situation Spock?"

"Ill defined, at this time"

"To say the least", she paused "Spock – it is said that all good things must end, and this has been good"

"Do you wish this to end Christine?"

"No, yes I don't know. I want this to be defined. On the Enterprise you told me that we, that you couldn't do this. It was really hard, but I accepted that. Well believed I had accepted it. Now you are here, and it seems …."

"This is not the Enterprise"

"No its not, its also not reality"

Spock stood and moved to sit next to Christine. She was unsure of his intention, as such was reluctant to move closer to him. This was a where she had to draw a line, for risk of her sanity.

"You have done a lot of bad things Spock, ignored me, rebuked me, and betrayed me with my own journal. Yet you claim all these things were to protect me, or understand me" she paused "I think you have been trying to protect yourself, understand yourself. I don't know if I can be a trial point any more, I know I deserve better than that"

Spock was silent, clearly considering his next words.

"It would be easier if you were not human". There he had said it, the words she had known were within him, however had never wanted to hear.

"That doesn't make sense", she responded. She had thought what she would say in this situation. "Your Father married a Human"

"My Father had been married to a Vulcan prior to my Mother, but it is not the bonding between Human and Vulcan that creates an unresolvable situation"

"Then what Spock, what could stand in the way of a future toge….children?" the last word was almost whispered.

His head slowly lowered, raising his shirt slightly to the side he showed her a small scar. It was barely noticeable, but had clearly once been deep. Chapel's brow furrowed with confusion.

"I've seen your scars before Spock"

"Yes, but are you aware of the origin of all".

Chapel shook her head, she had assumed that they were all were due to skirmishes during his time in Starfleet.

Spock turned his head towards her. His eyes were hypnotic, she felt she could not move, even if the desire to do so had come across her.

"As a child I was a ….curiosity to the others. My parents being of both Human and Vulcan race. After an evening class I was meditating in the yard. Six Vulcan youth's approached me and held me to the ground. As an agreed action between the six to resolve a scientific debate I was cut across my side so that I would bleed"

Christine's hand went to her mouth

"Their dispute had been over the colour of my blood, given my Mother's species. I , of course, bled green – the matter reached resolution, I was then allowed to leave".

Spock's eyes had left hers as his memories drifted back to a time when he was not the First Officer of the Starship Enterprise, rather just a scared little boy trying to belong in his own world.

Christine quietly asked "how old were you Spock?", his attention returned to her "I was five years old Christine, and yet this scar still remains, the cut, I assume was made more deeply than I had thought".

"Your parents?"

"I did not tell them – the wound was manageable, and I could not argue the logic of the children's decision at the time, I may well have done the same if the situation had been different" He moved his hand to her cheek and spoke into her "I believe you will want children, that you should have children. But to father a child Human and Vulcan would potentially expose the child to harm. If I can avoid this potential suffering then surely I must choose the logical path"

Christine was horrified at what the children had done to Spock, she was also angry that a species that claimed such enlightened views would create such a fear in one of its own that the denial of love was the only path he could see.

She leant across and down his body to gently kiss the scar with her lips. She felt Spock's body tense under her touch, then relax as she moved her cheek to rest against him, his hand moving to her hair.

"Don't leave tonight Spock", she whispered. "Stay with me, until its time to go"

She could feel his hands reach to release the clasp of her dress, slowly he removed the straps from her neck. She turned and lifted his shirt to reveal the rest of his body.

Moving closer to hold him she whispered "it does not have to be that way, I can protect you, I am strong enough for that and for … for any outcome of us being together. I can make decisions about what I want from this life, that doesn't have to be your responsibility" turning to kiss the side of his neck, his body relaxed into hers. She held him for comfort not for desire. Together entwined they curled upon the bed.

She ran her finger over his cheek, down across his lips, looking into deep eyes – supple skin against hers, skin that her heart could almost feel. Their lips almost touching yet not, close enough for the heat of their bodies to merge into the other.

"I have let this go too far" She thought it was Spock that spoke, or perhaps it was her own mind trying to argue with her heart. Their two worlds were becoming increasingly hard to distinguish as the evening melted into the morning.

She could have left it at that, vague grey boundaries, yet that seemed wrong. The honesty between them at this moment was the strongest she had ever felt. She had to be as honest with herself, and so too to him.

"I cannot offer you forever Spock", regretfully she spoke the words "But I will offer you until my graduation. I believe that this can work, that we can make this work – but you need to believe it as well. So I give you that time, but no more"

Spock lowered his forehead to rest against hers, his thoughts, desires, wishes, fears briefly filled her. Followed by feelings of humble gratitude and respect.

"I wish this", his lips were warm upon hers "to be the truth that I can accept. I will devote myself to the time you have granted me to meditate on this. I make this contract with you – not to be broken. With respect, with …love.. we will have resolution"

-000-

Spock sat quietly opposite Kirk, surveying the chessboard with calm precision. Kirk couldn't help but smile it had been a few months since his return to duties. Whatever had happened on earth appeared to have had a generally positive effect .

He had approached the subject intermittently with Spock , though Spock had not disclosed full details Kirk was aware of enough to know that he and Chapel had somehow moved in relation to their situation. He was unclear if it was forward or back, he was assured in his own self that there was definitely movement.

McCoy of course was taking full responsibility for Spock's improved mood. Walking around like an expectant father every time the topic was raised.

Uhura sat near the two officers, viewing a number of routine reports being channelled through from Starfleet Command. Chapel's name was mentioned, with a query raised as to her graduation. To Kirk' surprise Spock responded without lifting his head from the chessboard.

"Doctor Chapel will graduate in 545 days"

McCoy had been settling himself next to Kirk when he heard the comment.

"That's very exact Spock", McCoy turned to Kirk and winked.

"I am a Vulcan Doctor, at which point did you not expect me to be exact"

"Of course Spock, I always expect you to be exact, particularly about important events" Spock raised a characteristic eyebrow.

Kirk gave McCoy a kick under the table, resuming his game.

"I just hope she is looking after herself", joined in Uhura.

"I'm sure she's fine, not much can happen on a medical campus", Kirk replied.

"Oh Captain, haven't you heard, she requested to assist on Infernaum 5. There was an outbreak of some sort of, I don't know she described it a bit like a Bubonic Plague, I didn't quite understand all the details when Chris contacted me. A request was put out to medical students, particularly with knowledge of biochemistry, to go as part of a neutral team of medics. Given the political nature of the planet it was not seen as appropriate to direct anyone, it had to be volunteers"

McCoy turned accusatorily to Spock "did you know about this?"

Spock remained looking towards the board "Doctor Chapel did provide information in relation to her intention. Given her background in biochemical research, combined with her medical experience it appeared a logical, albeit hasty decision".

"Infernus is a war zone Spock!"

"Was a war zone", Kirk corrected "the situation has been settled for a number of months now"

"Months" McCoy grumbled into his coffee "I swear Spock, if I find out you encouraged Chris on this mission…" his voice trailed off

Infernaum 5 was a sensitive topic within the Federation. Colloquially referred to as Infernus (Hell). The trajectory of the planet's orbit brought it into Federation space for only six months of each year. Outside of that time it veered just outside the Federation's influence. The locals were fiercely divided on how much involvement Starfleet should have in the domestic policies of the planet. What remained a grey area of diplomatic discussion, led to very clear and bloody wars between the inhabitants.

Uhura had been quiet during the last part of the conversation, obviously distracted by the stream of communications being submitted to her console.

Ensign Carter was sitting at a small distance from Uhura, interested in the reports coming through.

"Maybe not months", her voice was very quiet.

Her sudden drop in tone prompted Kirk's attention.

"Starfleet Command has just advised that there has been an uprising on the planet earlier than expected" she spoke inwardly "All ships in the area are being asked to leave the area. It appears that the planet is moving away. At the moment it remains just inside Federation space, but only for another week. There has been a decision to allow the inhabitants to manage the conflict. There is to be no involvement by any Federation members"

The table was silenced whilst private thoughts ran through the heads of those assembled. Considerations were shattered by a voice from the end of the table.

"Doctor Chapel is in the middle of a war!, to hell with Starfleet" Carter exclaimed "we have to do something"

"Ensign", Kirk voice was firm and controlled "that will be enough. Starfleet has recommended the withdrawal of all ships from the area. The situation requires cool heads and calm actions" Carter was silenced.

Kirk could manage Carter with little more than a commanding voice, glancing at Spock, sitting with clenched fists and stoic face, he realised controlling his First Officer may be a whole different matter.

-000-

With respectful nods to:

"The Graduate"

"Shore Leave" – Star Trek Original Series

Oh Susanna – "Oh Kate"

Star Trek 2009 for a the possibility of Spock's past. Or perhaps a fanfiction I read somewhere - the idea came from somewhere, just cant pinpoint where. To whoever is responsible - thankyou

I have a genuine love of ST, though mostly derived from memories of watching years ago. As such my knowledge of canon / timelines etc.. leaves something to be desired. Hope I haven't offended too much with lack of depth