Disclamer: I do not own any of these characters, they are the property of Ms. Rowling.

Darkest of Arts
To Severus

Need I remind you to re-apply for the position of Defense Against the Dark Art teacher again? As always I need it before the comity meeting 15th of July.

Best
Albus

My dear Professor Snape,

I don't need an introduction, I am sure. Even you, with most likely a limited knowledge of the dark arts as you was not the one banishing the bushjuk Banshee, would surely have heard of my great adventures and the dangers I have faced. I have been asked by my countless number of fans to apply for the Position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I have of cause considered this carefully because my other responsibilities, which includes appearing in Witch Weekly, where I have won the most charming Smile award five times in a row, can be considered essential to the wizarding world.

Since I heard that we should become colleges, I hereby grant you your greatest wish, a signed copy of my auto-biography, "Magical Me". And should you need any private lessons in the dark arts I will be at your disposal.

Love and Hugs

Gilderoy Lockhart
Order of Merlin, Third Class
Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League
Five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award

Dear Severus,

Yes the only other applicant for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position was indeed a person named Gilderoy Lockhart, with a rather impressive CV, I must add.

I do understand your concern about this person as I had the honor of interviewing him myself. At least I am relatively sure he is somewhat harmless compared to last year's experience. Unless someone else applies for the job I am afraid he will have to do.

Best
Albus

Dear Severus,

I have the feeling that my husband is keeping something from me. He has instructed Draco to be extra careful this year, and the house-elfs are behaving oddly. As his oldest friend, could you ask him? After last year I am not confident in sending Draco back to Hogwarts.

I have the honor to be
Narcissa Malfoy

To Snape,

What the hell have you been doing with that book: Magick Moste Evile, vol. IV? Even though you are a member of the staff does not mean you can just destroy school property as you like. It looks like it has been on fire! If this repeats itself one more time, I will make sure you cannot borrow books from the library.

I have attached the bill.

Madam Irma Pince
School Librarian

Dear Friend,

I must say that your questions came as somewhat of a surprise, I positively sure I do not know what you mean.

I am however sure that something is amiss at Hogwarts, how could it not be with that unruly headmaster. I can assure you that this was the only thing on my mind when talking to Draco.

I am sure that you will have an entertaining year and that the conclusion will be prosperous.

I have the honor to be
Lucius Malfoy

My dear Severus,

As you have no doubt heard from all my admirers at the Hogwarts staff we are now officially colleges.

Now, as much as I know you are all eager to welcome me, I shall only have limited time before term starts, because of my autograph-tour with my auto-biography, "Magical Me", and my photo-sessions with Witch Weekly, however when I arrive at Hogwarts I shall happily share my extensive experiences with you all.

Of cause I knew that Headmaster Dumbledore would not refuse my application for the post as Defense teacher, as I like to call it myself, as nobody else could be expected to have my amazing resumé.

You will probably think it the greatest honor that you are the first of the Hogwarts staff to whom I am offering my assistance. But rest assured I will also find time to help our other colleges, so don't feel guilty. I am offering my help on your potion curriculum, what I am sure you will be extremely pleased of. As you probably know I am in wide circles considered an expert potion master.

Furthermore I was planning on making a dueling club, where I give all an opportunity to share my knowledge and greatness, and of cause I wish to invite you to join as the first. The boy-who-lived, Harry Potter, has already shown his great admiration of me, and have expressed a great desire in learning from me how to duel and vanquish evil wizards.

Love and Hugs

Gilderoy Lockhart,

Professor, Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Order of Merlin, Third Class
Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League
Five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award

To Severus,

Well, this is hardly my problem, I personally think it was a very nice thing that Prof. Lockhart should offer his help, I am sure you'll have plenty of fun.

Br.
Minerva

Dear Prof. Snape,

Thank you for applying for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Your application has been considered and I regret to inform you that this position has already been filled.

Best regards
Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster

To Severus,

Could you send up some more Blood-Replenishing Potion, it would appear that Kettleburn has used my last in stock.

And could you possible ask Hagrid to get rid of that ''thing'', which appears to be lurking around outside, before anyone else loses limbs.

-Poppy

Dear Friend,

I have a small favor to ask of you, Draco has during the summer payed an increasing interest in Quidditch. One of the other houses, I hear, had last term a seeker from first year. I am convinced that it would not appear strange with a seeker on the Slytherin team from second year during the following term.

Of cause it would be only natural if I made sure that the Slytherin Quidditch team was provided with the newest equipment with my son playing seeker.

Please consider it, and let me know when this request becomes relevant. Furthermore I am sure that Narcissa does not need to be informed at this time.

I have the honor to be
Lucius Malfoy

To Severus,

Just a reminder for the head of house meeting 25th of August.

And could you keep it down, I don't want that Lockhart to show up, it is hard enough as it is.

Br.
Minerva