Chapter Six

Alyss and Hatter shared a look, Hatter's eyebrows furrowing at the knight. There was silence for a moment before the knight questioned them, "Who are you?"

"I'm… Alyss."

"Alice! The Alice?" The Knight leaned towards her, getting in her face, "The Alice?"

Alyss shook her head, "No. Alyss Heart. Just Alyss, really."

The knight got an odd look on his face, contemplating, "Just Alice."

Hatter stepped in, putting himself further between Alyss and the old man, "I thought all you guys were wiped out years ago."

Sir Charles turned his attention back to Hatter, "Well, you thought wrong. As you can see, I'm as fit as a butcher's dog," He stood up proudly, sticking his nose in the air.

"Are there any others like you?"

Sir Charles scoffed, "Certainly not. I'm a one off. My Nan used to say, if I was the only eligible bachelor left in the world there wasn't a warthog or wall flower who'd polish my escutcheon."

Alyss frowned, "No, I meant are there any other knights, in these woods. Your… comrades in arms…"

"Heavens no. Are you mad? We were all wiped out years ago!"

Alyss and Hatter starred at the pit they'd just crawled out of, "You dug that pit on your own?" Hatter questioned sounding incredulous as he rubbed his bruising chest again.

"You think I'm too old!" The knight stalked towards them again, "Well, let me tell you something, nugface. Youth is vastly overrated," Hatter put himself in front of Alyss as Sir Charles walked forwards, the couple taking a step back for every one of his forward, "I may have put on a few years, but I'm crafty! I have a very inventive and calculating mind, stacked high with groundbreaking state of the art ideas. I invent all sorts of things," Alyss and Hatter just stared at him, "The beehive mousetrap, for instance," The knight made his way back to the trap, "This here pit, as you so rudely call it, is in fact my third attempt at the gravity-assisted snare, Mark Four."

Sir Charles turned away again, wandering back to the trap as Hatter turned to Alyss, "He's mad as a box of frogs," Hatter turned to the knight, "How the hell have you survived?"

The knight was looking into the air, his arms out. He didn't seem to hear Hatter, "Hmm? Oh, yes! I am a knight. And I'm an inventor, as I've said, although, if I'm honest, it's strictly on a part-time basis."

Hatter seemed to be sizing the man up, "You don't say."

"And I dabble in the black arts, now and then," Alyss and Hatter looked at him incredulously, "Soothsaying, toenail readings, that sort of thing. Here, let me show you! Give me your palm."

He took Alyss's hand before she could protest really, "Get off," She tried to take her hand back but it was too late.

"What's that on your finger?"

"Nothing," Alyss shoved her hand in her pocket.

"It's the sacred ring. The Stone of Wonderland. Our ring," Sir Charles was getting in her face again.

Thankfully Hatter stepped in again, pushing the knight back, "Don't get too excited, Granddad. The ring stays on the lady's finger, okay?"

The knight didn't seem to be paying any attention anymore. He fell to his knees, clasping his hands in front of him as he seemed to pray, "It is meant to be! This time, this place, this meeting in the woods…"

"Okay, we need to get away from him before he gets us killed," Hatter took Alyss's hand, walking the two of them away from the elderly knight.

Alyss glanced back towards Sir Charles, "But maybe he can help us."

"Have you forgotten about the weirdo that's tailing us?" Hatter demanded, pointing off into the woods, "This freak show is going to draw his attention for sure."

"This knight has survived out here for this long maybe he knows a thing or two," Alyss stomped back to the knight, "Listen, Charlie, we have some very bad men following us who want to kill us and steal the ring. Do you know anywhere we could lay low for a while?"

Charlie was not paying them any head, "The stars are aligned in a cosmic ray of hope."

Hatter, hands on his waist, shook his head, "And you want to put your faith in him?"

Alyss turned back to Hatter, "Yes. He might be nuts and 150 years old and dressed like a car crash, but he's a survivor."

"And I'm not deaf," He cried, jumping to his feet, "Alyss Heart, Just Alice, I, Sir Charles Eustace Fotheringhay Le Malvoy the Third, White Knight and guardian of the curtsey," He curtsied at this point.

"Very nice," Hatter glanced at Alyss.

"… Will be honored to escort you, your goods and… vassal… to my sacred kingdom."

There was silence for a moment, as Charlie bowed, before Hatter turned directly to Alyss, "Did he just call me a vessel?"

Charlie made a noise of pain, "Quickly, quickly," He gestured, "Sacroiliac."

Hatter dropped his hand that he'd been pointing at Charlie and rolled his eyes, "Oh, for crying out loud."

"Straighten, straighten, straighten, hard, hard," Charlie gasped, "Good-o," He managed to say after Hatter forced his back straight. Hatter and Alyss stared after Charlie in astound.

"He's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs," Hatter muttered as he watched Charlie with the horses. Alyss laughed, leaning against Hatter, who held back a wince when her back pressed against his injured chest. Wordlessly Charlie handed the reins of one horse to Hatter. Alyss put a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh, "What?" Hatter demanded. Alyss just shook her head.

Hatter mounted first, pulling Alyss up behind him. Charlie came up to them then, "Just Alyss, this," He handed her a rope attached to a strange net looking contraption, "Will hide our tracks. If you'd just attach it as so…" He put the rope around her waist, leaving the net to drag behind the horse, "There!" He said with a smile, "That ought to do it."

Hatter looked at the contraption incredulously, "You think that will wipe out our tracks enough to get the weirdo off our tail?"

Charlie drew himself up to his full height as he did when offended, "My dear sir, that will wipe out any tracks on any surface!" And then the knight stomped off to mount his own horse.

Hatter stared at Charlie before turning to look at Alyss who just shrugged, "It can't hurt to use it."

"Even works over mud," Hatter said in wonder. He'd been amazed when the net thing had actually done exactly what it was supposed to do, "It's wiping the tracks clean away. Maybe Senile Sam does have a trick or two up his, uh, escutcheon."

Alyss laughed, "Maybe."

"You comfy?"

Alyss scoffed, "No. Of course not. I'm on a horse with a rope pulling me backwards. Sound comfy?"

Hatter was silent for a minute, "Why don't you just lean forward and put your arms around my waist and let my body take the weight."

Alyss contemplated for only a moment before wrapping her arms around Hatter. She heaved a sigh, leaning against his back and breathing in his scent. He smelled like trees, paper and fruit. She smiled at the fruit part. Probably from running a tea shop.