Sorry for updating so late, but I'm pretty occupied at work :/ Next updates also can be delayed, sorry again.

I was on my way to my English course, listening „With the teeth" Nine Inch Nails, when my phone vibrated. I looked who it was. Stiles. I groaned. This was not going to be good…

- Yeah?
- Oh, thank God! - Stiles exclaimed. I thought what God has to do with that?
- Stiles, right now I don't have time to chat with you. Has something happened?
- No, nothing I know of. I think Scott would tell me if… - I couldn't stand his rambling.
- Stiles! What the fuck do you want from me!? - I know, I was on the street, but the kid was infuriating.
- Jesus… chill. I… I wanted to ask you, if you could help me... with my math homework? - was the kid blushing? I could hear his heart racing with anticipation. And to be honest? I liked that…
- Math? Really?
- Yeah… - I huffed.
- Ok. But I'm free after 7pm and you have to come here to pick me up - I wasn't asking.
- Aye captain! - he joked cheerfully. I rolled my eyes, gave him the address and hung up.

As it turned out, I wasn't the only person Stiles asked to his house. There was also Scott and Isaac in his room. As I walked in, I felt their anxiety. I didn't like that. I didn't want them to be afraid of me.
In fact, I never wanted people to be afraid of me, but somehow I managed to get people anxious. I never could understand how this small and insignificant person who was me could have that influence on people.

- Oh, I thought we were gonna study not party - I said with a smile, as I tried to lighten the mood.
- We're in the same class, so we thought… - Scott started.
- If it's not ok with you, we can go… - Isaac was already lifting from the floor.
- Oh, come on guys! Of course we can all work on the derivative of the function – I motioned them to stay where they were - I know, I might be the same age as some of your teachers, but I'm not that old for God's sake. It's ok as long as you won't start talking stupid things to me, ok? - They all nodded.

For the next 45 minutes I was explaining them the topic, which to be honest I had to refresh strongly from their books. High school was long time ago for me. Then they started doing examples step by step. I had to admit, that Stiles was the brightest from the three of them. He understood the problem and knew how to solve it. Soon he was helping Scott and Isaac with their examples.

- Can we take a break? I'm beat! - said exhausted Scott. I raised my brow at that.
- You are beat after a hour with minutes of math? How are you gonna survive studies with hour and a half classes? Or sometimes even longer? - his eyes went wide. It was hilarious.
- I don't want to think about that now - he replied.
- Yeah, you usually don't want to think at all - Stiles mocked and I had to smile at that. I was starting to like that over talkative boy.
- Hey! That's unfair. I helped you with… - the two of them started arguing, but I lost interest in them.

I looked at Isaac, who was always so quiet and distant, like he wanted to vanish or make himself invisible or just to be left alone. He noticed me looking at him and for a second our eyes meet. I felt he wanted to ask me about something, but his shyness stopped him. I smiled to encourage him and he started blushing. He looked at the floor. I just sighed and walked to the window. It was getting late and I should probably go home, but I could also use this opportunity to ask them some questions. I just didn't know which should be first.

- Will you really be able to track them? - I heard Isaac ask warily behind my back. I turned to him. He was looking at me with lost puppy eyes. The boys stopped whatever they were doing and looked at me, at Isaac and again at me.
- You miss them so much? - I asked with concern, I never thought I had. He nodded.
- They were… no, they are my friends and… and pack.
- When it comes to a pack, I don't know anything about it, but I know how it is to miss a friend - I smiled a little - And I will help as much as I can to get them back.
Ugh, it just sounded like a promise. I'm not good with promises, because if you won't keep it, even if it is not your fault, people will always put it on you.
- Can you tell me how it happened in the first place? - this was one of my questions, and maybe during the answer I might get some more details about all this situation.
- Because Derek is a shitty Alpha - was Scott's immediate answer.
- And you're a shitty werewolf too, dude - Stiles finally said something. I started to worry, when he was quiet for so long. - You didn't know any werewolf stuff! I had to tell you everything. And also, I taught you how to control the wolf - he said that with pride.
- Learning control isn't that hard - I interrupted their quarrel. Stiles snorted.
- Yeah, right. Wish you were here couple of months ago. This guy here - he shook Scott by his shoulders – is no egghead.
- And that only proves my point!
- It's easy, if you have an anchor - Isaac spoke absentmindedly.
- What is an anchor? - I had to ask. Boys looked at me like I was from space. - What?! - I snapped.
- You really don't know? How do you even shift? - Stiles as always wanted to know everything.
- I almost order myself to do it and it happens - Stiles rolled his eyes and flailed his hands.
- But what do you feel then? Or what do you think about?
- Emotions - was all I said. I wasn't going to tell them how I managed to gain control over my cat, over myself… Because honestly? I didn't know myself. There were too many emotions, too many things I was thinking, too much pain… I was definitely not talking about that with them.
- Oh my god! It's like talking with Derek! Are you also emotionally conspirated like him? Because I noticed, unlike him, you know how to use your words - Stiles was getting on my nerves, so I had to mitigated him.
- Do not talk to me about my emotions like you know them Stiles - I said in a low voice.
- Yep, you're definitely emotionally conspira… - Scott cut him off, putting a hand over his mouth.
- Stiles you should stop. Don't you see, she's pissed?
- An anchor is a person, an emotion that triggers your shift and also lets you come back - Isaac supplied me with an answer - For me it's my father - he was ashamed, when Scott shoot him look like "WTF man?".
- For me it's… Allison - he also admitted, little ashamed - And for you Agnes?
- It's complicated - I blunted, but the werewolves knew it's the truth.
- Come on… - Stiles whined.
- Shut up Stiles. It's true.
- Your little werewolf senses are telling you that? - he mocked.
- Little? - Scott was very easy to lost the main track - … Not the point. Yes, they are.
- Thank you Scott. Now, that we know your senses are small… - I grinned and heard Stiles and Isaac giggle - Could you please tell me from the start how this all happened? - I saw Stiles' eyes lit whit anticipation and excitement - But please, cut the crap with nature descriptions, characteristics and romance developments. Stick to the facts, ok?

So for the next hour or more I was filled with all the events that happened during the last months. It started with finding the body of Laura Hale, Derek's sister (Half of the body! What? It's crucial information, because of that we went looking for another half - Stiles of course had to elaborate). So during the search for another half Scott got bitten, then they met Derek (Unpleasant Hale - Scott interrupted)(Dude! He gave you back your inhaler)(Yeah, but as it occurred, I didn't need it anymore). Then was Allison. Meeting with her, meeting her father (and finding out her whole family are werewolves hunters) and again Allison when Scott learned control. Then Stiles started babbling about his crush on Lydia and I had to stop them (Guys, one more word about love or infatuation and I will cut your scrotum, take out your testicles, throw them away and tie a bow with your spermatic cord. And I warn you, I really know how to do it). After that there were no side love stories.

Then were those animal attacks that had occurred to be done by Peter, when he became an Alpha after killing Laura (I knew there was more than meets the eye when it comes to that man). As the alpha he healed from burns he got from surviving the Hale fire. He was driven by instinct and started killing people who were responsible for the fire. He also killed the ringleader - Kate Argent (Allison's aunt and Derek's former girlfriend when he was a teenager, who then tortured him and tried to kill him). Derek was accused of killing his sister and the janitor at school.

In the meantime Peter tried to bit Scott's mom as an encourage for Scott to join his pack (if Peter will think about something like that with me, I'm going to kill him)(Oh! And you know what? Alphas can show you their memories by digging their claws into your neck - you knew that?)(No Stiles, I didn't know that) and has ordered Derek to kill Jackson. Also, Peter offered the bite to Stiles (but he declined), unsuccessfully bit Lydia, because (as I already knew) she haven't turned. Instead, she went missing and after she was found, everyone thought she was crazy. People thought that she was the one eating organs from dead bodies. On top of that, she was wandering naked in the woods. She was in shock and her sanity was questioned.

Then Derek decided to kill Peter and he became the Alpha (I got very colorful description of how did they manage to put down an Alpha), which led to him biting Jackson, Isaac, Erica and Boyd to create his pack. But it occurred that Jackson was immune to the bite and soon he became the Kanima, first controlled by some Matt and then by Gerard, Allison's grandfather (what the fuck?! What's with those Argents? They are everywhere). Isaac's father was killed by the Kanima (so in fact, by Jackson), there was a massacre at the police station and Scott's mom get to know he's a werewolf (Wow, how did she take it?)(She wasn't talking to me for two weeks, but it's quite ok now). Matt was found dead, Allison's mother killed herself, after Derek bit her in order to save Scott, who she tried to kill.

Peter managed to come back from the death and he used Lydia and Derek to do that (What? Wait. How did he do that?)(Well… he threatened her, that he'll kill everybody. And believe me, with Peter freaking Hale it was possible)(And how did Derek help?)(Yyy, we don't really know)(I wasn't satisfied with this answer).

Erica and Boyd left to find another pack (it caught my breath. How Derek could let this happen? Wasn't the pack the most important thing for werewolves?), but Gerard caught and imprisoned them, and beat the crap out of Stiles (I could feel his shame and embarrassment). Then he used Kanima to blackmail Scott to make Derek bit him, so he could cure himself from cancer, but it didn't work, because Scott slipped mountain ash to his medications.

So now Jackson is finally a werewolf, Gerard is nowhere to be found (even his family doesn't know where he is), Erica and Boyd are still missing and to add a cherry on top of that fucking cake, Alpha Pack is in town! Oh, and Stiles' father starts suspecting something is off… Awesome! Just fucking awesome…

- Fuck… - was all I could manage after all this information. Some things become clearer now and some just complicated more.
- Yep, this is just life of a normal teenager in this town - Stiles sarcastically summed it up.
- This is not normal. This is all so fucked up - I noted.
- That was sarcastic…
- I know, moron - I rolled my eyes - Well… This explains, why Derek acts like he acts…
- Wait, what? - Scott and his big eyes welcomed the conversation.
- Oh, come on. Don't you see that? - for someone who solved two mysteries of the city, those kids were pretty oblivious to Derek's reasoning. They shook their heads. I huffed. - Why do you think, he's so "emotionally conspirated" as you put it Stiles? - still nothing from the boys - O. My. Fucking. God! - I had to raise hands to this nonexistent god - How would you feel, if all your family was burned alive?! By your ex? How would you feel, if your uncle had killed your sister? Wouldn't you be devastated? Hated people and life? Would you be able to go on and live? To try to stop your last family member before he would kill everybody? And follow your instincts to create a pack and cake care of them? - as I shouted all those questions at Scott, I started to develop a feeling of admiration towards Derek. Really, how was he able to get up every day and live on? If my family was dead, I think I… I would end up in a psychiatric hospital with a general break down.
- He's not taking care of us, he's a dick! - Scott shouted angry at me. I could feel shock from both Stiles and Isaac and a lot of buried emotions in Scott.

Scott's issues with Derek weren't just about the pack thing. There was something deeper. Something dark hidden very deep inside Scott's soul and was emerging right now. But though I really wanted to know what those deep emotions were to help Scott cope with them, I couldn't manage to subside my anger at his words toward Derek. And I slapped him in the face. Hard. The impact caused him to lose balance and he felt on the floor with a thud. Again I felt shock, but this time from all the boys.

- I'm not taking his side, but you will not say things like that about Derek again - I said in a low voice, trying to contain my anger. My face was leveled to his and I could see his cheek burning red. - Imagine Allison kills your mother and then someone kills Stiles - I pointed at his friend to emphasize my words - Then imagine how would you feel and realize, that Derek is walking that kind of hell everyday - I got up and started leaving, but then remembered something - Stiles walk me to the door, will you? - I felt his fear, but he feared more not to obey me.
- You're not going to eat me, right?
- Depends on what kind of eating you're talking - I grinned. I had to admit, the boy was a challenge I was willing to accept.
- I just pretend I didn't hear that…

We were by his front door. I knew Scott and Isaac were still in his room, so they could hear what I was going to say. Good, I wanted them to hear it, I just particularly didn't want to face them now.
- Stiles there is something I wanted discuss with you, but after this… disagreement with Scott I think it's better if we talk tomorrow - I watched him closely. It was little difficult, because he was taller than me, his lean body next to mine… I wanted to touch him, but was almost 100% sure he would flinch.
- What is it? - his curiosity took over anxiety as he whispered.
- I think I know what you and Lydia are… - his brown eyes became enormously big, his breath caught in his lungs, his hands flailing as he was speechless.
It was nice to make him speechless. What was not nice, was that he tripped and almost failed to the floor, but I caught him by the elbow and steadied. I smiled at him.
- How? What? When? Oh my god…
- I haven't told you what exactly and you're already acting like this? - I smirked.
- If you know, then it has to be something nasty. Jackson turned into Kanima, so we probably will be much worse, like… - he started to use his imagination, but I cut him off.
- Stiles - I took him by the arm - Focus Stiles - I cupped his cheek with my other hand and this tenderness seemed to get his attention.
- How can you first slap someone with a force that throws them of balance and then be so gentle with the same hand - I smiled a little, because I was asking myself the same question.
- It's just who I am. Bipolar. Listen. We should probably meet with Lydia, so I could talk with you both…
- And Derek.
- What?
- Talk to Derek too, 'cos you know, it's pack business - he shrugged and I huffed - What? I thought… The way you were acting upstairs…
- I don't want to know what you thought, but my last meeting with Derek ended in me almost ripping his throat out and vice versa, so I don't think he'll be happy to see me again soon - I smiled bitterly.
- Wow, it's nice to hear someone finally kicked his ass - I glanced at him dangerously - but he's the Alpha and this is pack's stuff, so you should definitely include him in this conversation - I growled a little with frustration.
- Fine. I'll set up a meeting with him - Stiles nodded - Tomorrow. In the evening. And I don't care if anybody has plans for Friday night.
- We'll throw a party at the Hale house - Stiles wiggled his eyebrows.
- Yeah… and Derek we'll throw you out, through a window.
- Sarcastic. I like that - I had to smile at that.
- Go to bed Stiles - I patted him on the shoulder - Have a good night for all that.
- And have dreams about you? - I heard him behind my back.
- You don't want to have dreams about me…

This was all fucked up. So fucked up. Why do I have a tendency to put myself in fucked up situations? Haven't I had enough of them in my life so far? And now I just added next ones.
This was frustrating. My job was frustrating, my friends were frustrating and men were frustrating also. And what was the most frustrating, I wanted to fuck. I wanted to fuck, whip, bite, scratch, dominate. My need was becoming so difficult to manage, that it started to hurt.

I had to contact Derek, but I didn't want to so badly. Maybe I do it tomorrow? No, fuck it has to be done today. Ok, so one more minutes of this relaxing walk and I'll text him, 'cos calling was not an option.

After few rewritings I ended up with a text:
To Derek:
I have some pack's stuff to discuss with you about Lydia and Stiles. All interested, meeting tomorrow in the evening?
Couple of minutes later:
From Derek:
Ok. I'll send the details when I get them
To Derek:
Ok

Well, that went smooth. But tomorrow might be a completely different story…