SIX

"Sydney! Sydney, look."

Nadia released the ten-month old's fingers and Bristow stood with wobbly parted legs for almost two seconds before falling back into Nadia's arms.

Nadia grinned. "Good girl, Bris," she cooed, applauding the baby.

Bristow grinned back at her proudly, flashing her eight white teeth. She clapped once for herself, then moved her fingers into her mouth drooling around them and crawling across the floor towards the pile of toys in front of the couch.

Nadia got up and walked over to the counter where Sydney was making notes on some paperwork. "Sydney, did you see?"

Sydney glanced over at her daughter and nodded.

Nadia smiled. "She is going to be walking soon."

Bristow pulled herself into a standing position beside the couch and began tossing her soggy toys on it, babbling quietly to herself.

"Everything's been babyproofed since she started crawling," Sydney responded, not looking up. "She won't be able to get into much trouble."

Nadia sighed, eyeing the papers. "I thought you weren't working today."

"I'm almost done."

Nadia placed her hand on Sydney's writing hand. "Then, you can finish it later."

Sydney's pen slowed and she looked up at her sister. "Okay, you're right." She closed up the folder and put down her pen.

"It's taken you over two months since I asked to really find a day to set aside. I don't want today clogged up with anything else. I want to be able to talk to you."

"We talk almost everyday," Sydney laughed.

"But only about everyday things. I feel like I don't know anything about you anymore." Nadia sat down at the counter. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Maybe a little tired. How about you?"

Nadia sighed, having hoped for a more detailed response. "I'm okay."

Sydney swallowed and started to make an effort. "I've noted you've been using the days off from watching Bristow for a lot of gym time. Thinking about going back to work?"

Nadia shook her head. "No. I've just wanted to be in shape. I go for runs at night sometimes. Before, I knew I wasn't prepared to defend myself if anything should happen. I like being confident again that I am."

"We should go for a run together on the mornings I'm home," Sydney suggested.

"We can bring Bristow in the stroller," Nadia answered with a grin.

Sydney shrugged. "Or get someone to watch her."

Nadia hesitated. "Can we talk about Bristow...honestly?"

Sydney glanced over at the girl again, who sat down and pulled herself back up grippng the coffee table.

"I know you're going to feel like I'm attacking you, but I still worry, that you don't seem to have any time for her."

Sydney got off the stool and walked over to behind the couch, watching her baby. "I know it seems like that now. And maybe it's true, but what I'm doing right now is important, for her future and mine."

"And raising her isn't?" Nadia came up behind her sister.

"Of course it's important, and I do what I can. But look at her," Sydney responded.

Bristow realized she was being watched and glanced up at the two of them. She stuck her thumb in her mouth, blinking as though uncomfortable somehow.

"She's fine, Nadia. She's healthy. She's growing and developing right on schedule. Really, she's not even going to remember how busy I was when she was this small. It's why I try so hard to get everything done. When it's finished, I can spend as much time with her as I want."

"But, Sydney, what about what you're missing?"

"You take a million pictures, Nadia," Sydney reminded. She gestured to the framed pictures of Bristow that covered the mantle, coffee tables and walls. "And you're always telling me what she's up to. I don't really think that I'm missing all that much."

"But you are..." Nadia trailed off. "Does it...does it bother you to look at her?" She paused. "Because of Vaughn?"

Sydney straightened. "She barely looks like him."

"You know what I mean. I don't ever hear you talk about him in regards to her or vice versa."

Nadia could see it coming. Sydney's face mutated through several expressions before settling on distant. Sydney's eyes drifted over to Bristow.

"Sometimes...I look at her around the house...playing...sleeping..." Sydney sighed. "I picture him there. Holding her, playing on the floor with her, tucking her in. She should have that. She should have...him." Sydney shook her head. "She won't ever have that. And then all I can be is angry that he was taken away from her. It's unfair that the people who did this are still out there. I just know that that's what important right now. Doing whatever I can to change that." Sydney sniffled and blinked glassy eyes until the tears cleared, but never fell.

Nadia swallowed. She moved around the couch, sat down and took Bristow in her lap. "Are you ever going to tell me why?" she asked. "Why you named her Bristow? I know you were so busy during the pregnancy amd I suppose you and Vaughn never got discuss..."

"Actually," Sydney began, "we had. We chose names when he was in the hospital, after he was shot. The only one we both agreed on was Isabelle. Isabelle Bristow-Vaughn, he decided. The whole pregnancy I knew if it was a girl, that was going to be her name."

Nadia looked down at the baby confusion and then back up at her sister. "Why didn't you name her that?"

Sydney moved and sat in the chair. "In the hospital, I got the paperwork and I was supposed to write a name and I kept seeing him lying there. We had...we had this hope then. Maybe it was ridiculous but for that moment, when we picked that name, I really thought he was going to be okay. That Isabelle was a baby he was going to get to see and we were going to get to raise together. But when she was born, he was gone, Nadia. Isabelle could never exist." Sydney looked at her daughter a moment. "And when I dropped that, Bristow Vaughn was what was left."

Bristow leaned back against Nadia's chest, still sucking her thumb anxiously.

Nadia ran her fingers through the baby's soft hair sandy brown hair that had grown into baby curls at the girl's neck. "She should still have you, Sydney. She needs you."

"She should be safe," Sydney responded. "I thought about children with Vaughn, but I know he thought as I did: We would do it, when it was safe." Sydney's expression darkened. "I didn't get to plan this. I didn't get to plan...her. It's not even close to being safe and I can't just be a mommy right now." She blinked hard. "She's all I have left of him, Nadia. And if I just sit back, if I let my guard down for a second, I could lose her to them too."

"We won't let anything happen to her," Nadia assured her sister.

Bristow sat up in Nadia's lap and looked between them.

"I know. I know she's always safe with you." Sydney reached out and touched the child's arm ever so lightly.

It was silent a minute.

Sydney pulled her hand back and finally flashed a smile. "So, are you ever going to tell me what's up with you and Eric?"

"He's just perfect," Nadia responded, a shy smile crossing her face. She tickled her niece and Bristow's thumb popped out of her mouth and she giggled. She twisted and Nadia let the little girl slide off her lap gently until Bristow was standing holding onto her leg.

"Anything else?" Sydney asked, her eyes focused entirely on her sister.

"I love him. He loves me. And it feels like it should feel so much more complicated than that but it's not. It's just the way things are. I don't know what I'd do without him." Nadia trailed off at the vacant look that had over taken her sister's face. "Sydney, I'm sorry."

Sydney forced a small smile. "You know, I think we need some groceries. I'm going to run to the store."

"We can all go," Nadia started, standing up. "Or I can...or--"

"No, relax."

Nadia's eyes widened just slightly to see Sydney bend over and pick up the baby.

"I'm just going to take her with me. We'll be back in about in an hour."

Nadia sat back. "Okay."

"Okay," Sydney repeated as she hoisted the girl to one hip and grabbed her purse.

Bristow looked at her mother uncertainly and her thumb went back in her mouth.

Nadia watched them disappear out the door.

Nadia pulled her third load of clothes out of the washer and shoved them into the dryer. It seemed like Bristow was light on toys but the abundance of clothes the baby had was overwhelming. Nadia took her laundry basket of clothes still radiating heat from the dryer and carried them out of the laundry room and into the living room to fold.

She almost tripped on her way over the couch, but caught herself. The sudden jerk made her vision blur momentarily. She shook her head. It had been a nonstop day of chores and cleaning. Sydney told her she didn't have to do nearly as much as she did, but Nadia felt like she should do her part considering she wasn't bringing in any income to help with bills. Still, Sydney felt watching Bristow more than covered it.

Her own expenses were covered by a modest monthly deposit into her bank account from her father. She hadn't wanted it, but she only been able to talk him into reducing the amount to modest. There was no talking him out of giving her the money.

She sat back in the chair after folding half the basket and leaned over sideways on the couch. She needed a power nap.

The sound of the dryer buzzer is what woke her. She looked at her half a pile of laundry still in the basket and sighed. She didn't even know how late it was. She gathered up the folded clothes quickly and made a quick dash into Sydney's room, going to drop them off and grab the other basket.

The clothes tumbled from her hands. She could see a shadow in the baby's room! She surreptitiously grabbed a weapon from a box Sydney kept on the shelf and stalked towards the room. The figure leaned over the crib.

Nadia cocked her weapon and kicked open the door. "Get away from her!"

The figure straightened slowly, hands lifted passively.

"Get away from her!" Nadia ordered again.

"I would never hurt her, Nadia."

"Mama..." Nadia lowered her weapon.

Irina turned around slowly and lowered her hands.

Nadia blinked, tears coming her eyes. "What are you...when did you...Mom?" She deposited the gun on the nearby table just before her mother moved forward and embraced her tightly.

Nadia returned the embrace shakily. "Mom..." she repeated.

When Irina finally stepped back, she placed a hand to her daughter's cheek lovingly and just looked her in the eyes as if committing everything about her to memory. "I've missed you."

Nadia swallowed. "What are you doing here?"

Irina turned back towards the crib. "I thought I'd watch you from outside, as I have so many times in the past year and a half. But when I saw the opportunity to see my granddaughter up close...I'm sorry I frightened you."

Nadia nodded, slowly. "You've been watching me?"

"When I heard you were finally awake, all I wanted was to see you. Your hospital room was too well guarded, but the day you came home, I was watching from across the street. As I was the day, you and Sydney brought Bristow home."

"I wish I'd known. And I wish Sydney was here now to see you too."

Irina's eyes narrowed. "How is she?"

Nadia frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

"She's been under so much stress since Vaughn's passing. In my correspondence with her--"

"You've been in contact with her?"

"She sought me out. She wanted help to find any information, any leads that could give her insights into who'd done it and why it happened. Our contact has been intermittent, mainly phone calls, emails. She never mentioned it?"

"No." Nadia shook her head.

"It has been formal, except when she would send me pictures of Bristow." Irina's lips mutated to a brief smile. "She's hesitant to say anything about her own well-being."

Nadia shrugged a little. "Sydney's good, I suppose. Just very busy."

Irina raised an eyebrow. "You can't tell for sure, can you?"

Nadia's eyes lowered. "I see so little of her. And when we talk, she's always somewhat guarded. We had a good conversation a couple months ago. She still misses Vaughn very much."

Her mother's head tilted towards the crib. "And how is she with the baby?"

Nadia hesitated only a moment. "She always makes sure Bristow has everything she needs."

"And you?"

Nadia smiled. "She's my niece, I love her. And she's such a good baby."

"How are you, physically?" Irina eyed her curiously. "Have there been side effects from your exposure to the water or the treatment since your recovery?"

She shifted. "Nothing serious." Eric was the only one she'd told about the numbness and increased need for pressure in order to feel sensation.

Her mother looked suspicious.

A wail from the crib saved Nadia from the inevitable question.

Immediately, Irina's entire attention focused on the one-year-old in the crib.

The baby whimpered before her eyes opened. "Tia. Tia."

Irina formed a sideways smile and looked at Nadia as the baby continued to call the spanish word for aunt. Then, her expression was almost accusatory. "She calls for you."

Nadia moved towards the crib. "I'm the one who's always here."

"May I?" Irina questioned.

Nadia wasn't sure how Bristow might react, but Irina was her grandmother. She nodded once.

Irina brushed a finger against the baby's cheek to get Bristow to open her eyes before lifting the baby from the crib and into her arms. She hugged the child securely. Bristow looked at her wide eyed, her bottom lip poking out and trembling.

"It's okay, it's okay," Nadia reassured, rubbing the little girl's back.

Bristow looked at her and then back at Irina. She uncertainly stuck her thumb in her mouth and studied Irina. Irina studied the baby just as intently.

"She looks like Sydney, doesn't she?" Nadia said quietly.

"She's beautiful," Irina responded.

Bristow lay a tired head on Irina's shoulder, keeping her eyes open and focused on Nadia.

Nadia couldn't take her eyes off the two of them. There was something so right about watching her mother hold a baby and so strange at the same time. It was her mother and yet it was Irina Derevko, a name hardly associated with such gentleness. She felt tears coming to her eyes again. "I missed you."

Irina moved forward and kissed her daughter's forehead, gently slipping Bristow into Nadia's arms. "Take good care of her. We'll see each other again soon."

The tears blurred her vision as her mother disappeared into the shadows. For a moment, she still felt her mother's presence in the room.

And then, she knew Irina was gone.

Nadia kissed the top of Bristow's head and sat down on Sydney's bed, gently rubbing the little girl's back until she fell back to sleep.