"Hey boys, what's shaking?" I couldn't control the words coming out of my mouth but I could see my reflection. My eyes were black.

I jumped inside myself but whoever or whatever was controlling my body had no intention of handing it back over.

"Get out of her! Now!" Dean yells.

"I always liked it when you were bossy." I said. "Seriously, it turns me on." I cringed. What was I saying? To my left, I could hear Sam chanting an exorcism incantation. "You seriously think that's going to work?" I asked him. He didn't stall or stutter, just continued flat out and determined. "I'll let you try it anyway." When he had finished, there was no sign of this demon even being bothered by it. Everyone was shocked. "You done?" I threw my hand up. Sam went flying, hitting the window and breaking threw onto the other side. I gasped but couldn't stop myself. Dean and Castiel were armed now, ready to fight me off.

"Come on, hit me with your best shot." Dean taunted. I raised a brow as Dean charged towards me, throwing punches that I was dodging easily until I was stabbed with a demon blade, right in wrist. I heard myself squeal and boy was the pain real.

"Dean, Stop it!" Sam yelled. I snapped to the door and he had already made his recovery. He stood in the doorway, leaning against the pane. I looked back to Dean who was at this time distracted with Sam's outburst and threw him back. His back crushed the drywall and I was manicly laughing. I was scaring myself and now, Castiel was up to bat.

I easily disarmed him and stuck him with his own angel blade. I shuddered on the inside, but most certainly not on the out. I looked and Sam was basically the only one left. Please no. I begged but Sam was starting towards me.

"Scarlett, I know you're in their." He said and I began laughing. He knew I was inside the shell that had been took over and now? Now he was trying to get me back.

"You're cute. No wonder she likes you so much."

"You can fight it, Scar." As he said it, my hands were on his shirt collar and he thrown against the wall. I held him there, taking a blade from my back pocket and holding against his neck. My head throbbed and my limbs ached...but most of all, it was my heart. That hurt the most.

"She has so much left to tell you guys. About hell." I was running the blade up Sam's neck and he was pulling away as best he could. Finally, I dropped him and turned in the other direction. Castiel was holding his side and breathing heavily. "Even if she doesn't remember it, I do. I'll admit though, she has a lot of blank spots." I spun again and Sam was staring me down. I was panicking now, trying to take control of my body once more as I watch Sam's vision shift to the left.

"Sam, don't just stand there!" Dean's voice was hoarse but stern. He looked at me, torn. I struggled with what was left to do. I've never been possessed let alone over come a possession. Suddenly, I watched him draw his pocket knife and venture towards me.

In that moment I was flashing in and out of reality. From hell to present time.

I thought it looked familiar, now I know why.

I kept being sucked into memories of ruthless torture. Sam manically torturing me. Enjoying every second, indulging in my pain.

And suddenly, I could feel everything. I could see everything clearly. I was back.

"Stop!" I scream as he raises it above me. "Sammy, stop it! I'm back under control!" I protest, backing away from him until I hit the wall. He doesn't stop and my heart is pounding. I look around frantically and he just continues closer, a regretful look on his face.

"I want you to know," I begin, hands trembling. "if I can't get her out, I love you. I always have and always will." He stopped for a moment, lowering his guard. "I love you Sam Winchester."

"Aw, that's tragic." I was locked back inside again. Hopes failed and Sam grew more angry then ever. "Duty calls. I'm sure we'll be in touch." With a wink my head was thrown up and like claws running up my throat the demon finally exits my body.

I was light headed fast and immediately collapsed on the ground. I leaned against the wall and Sam rushed to me. I waved my hand towards Dean and Castiel.

"Go to them. I'm OK, I'm OK." I told him. I think I only said it because I needed self reassurance that I was in fact alright. He cups my face with his hand before standing and rushing to Dean and Castiel who were both in a heap next to each other.

I had to look away. I couldn't look at the state they were in with my conscious this guilty. I couldn't stand the thought that I hurt all those people including Sam, Dean and Castiel.

"Sam dammit I'm alright!" Dean curses from my left. "Cas is the one who needs help. Go grab some holy water out of the car."

I watched Sam run out the door and could hear Dean struggle to lift Castiel onto the bed.

"I'm OK Dean, she didn't take that much out of me." Castiel says but all I could feel was overwhelming guilt. I was drowning in it...was this how Dean felt? Or is this worse?

I watch Sam come back into the room with a bucket of holy water, rushing to where Casitel was and helped Dean cleaned his wounds.

It was over an hour later that Sam came over to me, kneeling down and putting out a hand to help me up. I looked at it for a moment before shaking my head a few times.

"No." I tell him.

"Scarlett, you can't stay like this all night." Sam tells me. I look up to him, my face a sour expression as our eyes met.

"Why not?" I ask Sam honestly. "Shouldn't you be locking me up by now? Yelling at me? Poking me with a stick?" He doesn't try to stop me. He just looks at me upset with my response. "How could I let this happen?" I question. "I could have stopped myself if only-"

"You can't win all your battles, especially if you're fighting them alone." Sam tells me. "Remember that." I looked away from him to see Dean and Castiel sitting side by side on the bed. They were looking threw John's journal and it was like Dean could sense I was looking. He glanced up for a second, smiling lightly before looking back down. I look back to Sam and he puts his hand out again.

"Please come to bed." He asks of me desperately. I take his hand tightly and he hauls me onto my feet. I was sore all over and every limb and muscle yelped as I stood. I gripped his hand and bent over a little, trying to suck it up...but it was so hard. "Hey, hey Scar, are you-"

"I'm fine," I say sharply. "I'm just sore." I straighten myself up and let go of his hand. "I'm OK." He didn't wipe the worried look off his face and to be honest, I was worried as well. What if Crowley took control, gave me orders...what would happen? The demon is gone, would I still lash out?

I sat on the bed watching Sam try and set up a DVD for us to watch. "I almost got it." He murmurs, but I knew he didn't. He said the same thing 5 minutes ago. I sigh and swing my legs off the bed.

"I'll run down to Dean's motel." I tell him, slipping on my shoes. His head snaps to the door and fear impacts his face.

"No, Scar, that's alright." He responds, standing. I sigh, taking a pen off the table and drawing an anti possession symbol on the palm of my hand.

"No demon's are coming in." I tell him. He didn't look any less worried. "Do you want to watch me walk down? Would that make you feel better?" He opens the door and he actually insisted on watching me get to Dean's room. This made me feel even more helpless then before but I guess it was neccessary.

I put my hand on the door handle and I could hear yelling and shouting from within the room. With my ear up against the door and I can hear Dean shouting about something. I open the door and I catch my name in their conversation. Pushing it open further I watch as Dean throws his hand across the bereau. A lamp, papers and pop fly in my direction. The lamp hits the wall 4 inches away from my face. My head zips from the wall to Dean in a second and he's faced with immediate regret, his mouth drops.

"I'm so sorry." He mutters. My eyes look back to the wall slightly. I look back, my lips pressed into a thin line and nod once.

"Um, never mind." I respond, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible. I came to a quick conclusion that with his outburst, my name in his yelling and the throwing of things that it had something or everything to do with me.

"Scarlett, I'm sorry, I-"

"Dean is brave." Castiel cuts him off, mid sentence. "But he still fears what he does not know." Dean's jaw snaps shut and Dean dips his head. I stare for a moment before turning slightly to the doorway.

"I uh, I'll go." I say and begin to turn when Castiel stops me.

"Wasn't there a reason for you to come?"

I turn and nod. "Right," I say. "Sam is having trouble setting up the DVD player so I came to get your help." Dean looks at Castiel for a moment before nodding.

"I'll be there in a minute." He tells me. I nod and open the door, stepping outside and walking swiftly down to the motel room. I open the door and Sam is in his previous position, continuing with his strugle to set up the DVD player. He looks up to me and watches me walk in.

"Hey, what did Dean say?" Sam wonders as I plop myself down on the bed.

"He'll be here soon." I tell Sam. He nods, looking back down at the DVD player.

"I swear, I used to know how to use this thing." Sam murmurs, looking at all the cables. Before I could say anything, the door swung open and Dean stood in the doorway.

"Did someone call the cable repair man?" Dean asks. I couldn't conceal a small giggle as he walked over and sat down next to Sam. "Let's take a look."

I found it amazing how fast Dean could change his mood and hide his feelings. Normally for the sake of others.

I've seen him do it enough times in our line of work and it never failed to perplex me.

I watched them both turn on and off the TV, make sure the DVD player was plugged into the wall and make sure there was nothing wrong with the wires. I got off the bed and crept over, peering over their shoulders.

"Shouldn't that red wire go there?" I ask them. They look up to me and back down at the box. Sam picks up the wire and plugs it in. The main menu of the DVD player flashed on the screen. Again, they looked back up to me.

"Well, we have been showed." Dean stands. "Good job kiddo." He smiles sincerely. I smile back.

"Thanks." I say and Dean nods to Sam before leaving us.

I watch Sam go to his book bag and root threw it for a moment before a smile spreads onto his face and he laughs out loud.

"What is it?" I ask him. He just continues to laugh until he looks at me. He presses his lips together and clears his throat.

"You don't happen to have a DVD, do you?" He asks me. My eyes brows broaden and I close my eyes. My head bows and I laugh heartily at our foolish mistake. I look to Sam when we both had finally stopped but that just made me laugh more.

Once our rounds of giggles and chuckles had stopped we both sat on the ground at the foot of the bed, our backs leaning against it.

"We always laughed at the stupidest things." I say after a moment, looking to him.

"Well, there usually isn't much to laugh at." He says honestly.

"Point taken." I respond. I stared at the wall for a moment, just relaxing before I looked back to Sam. "Are you afraid?" I wonder curiously. His smile begins to fade from his face and his eyes do not meet mine.

"I'm not going to lie to you." He tells me, still facing the wall. "I am petrified. I'm worried about you, Scarlett." I take a deep breath in and nod.

"I know." I respond. "I'm sorry to make you worry. I wish none of this was happening." I say and turn away from him because my eyes began to sting with tedious tears. I blinked them away vigorously and turned back to Sam, giving a (very) fake smile.

"Can I ask you something?" He says after moments of silence.

"Anything." I respond.

"We aren't together anymore, are we?" He asks. I bite my lip and my shoulders go up.

"I'm not sure...are we?" I say looking into his eyes.

"I want to be." He tells me. I nod.

"I want to be as well." I agree. "But would that be best? I mean, I'm a time bomb on wheels, Sam." I respond.

"Don't say that." He tells me. "Scar, in sickness and in health, I promise to stand by you."

"No offense Sammy but this isn't cancer. We don't know how to deal with what this is. Whatever this is." I respond sadly.

"Scar, I don't care. I want to be with you. You want to be with me to. Isn't that all that matters?" He says and I think for a moment.

Thinking about it, I knew from the moment I stood in that parking lot surrounded with the bodies of the people I had slaughtered that I was doomed to death or constant torture. I get that.

Sam? He doesn't seem to understand the danger.

Crowley could simply say to me, 'Scarlett, kill them' and I would do it.

No questions except if I would remember it or not.

So do I say yes...or no?

Yes and I would be spending the rest of my (short) life with my love doing couple things again. Of course this would mean reforming the bond we once shared we would do anything and everything to protect each other.

Yes would mean putting Sam in more danger then before.

No would mean disappointment and mouth fulls of regret. Uncomfortable atmosphere's between us and we can't get into complications right now. There's already to much going on.

But no would mean keeping him safe.