AU 96478
I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER
Characters: Ron, Pansy, Millicent, Hermione
Mentioned: Various Members of the Weasley Family (not by name; canon and OC), Goyle,
No Dark Lord, No Horcruxes, No Pureblood Prejudices
When Ron woke up that morning, three things became apparent.
First, he was in the Slytherin Girl's Dorm. Second, he was stark naked. Third, he was in bed with Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bulstrode who were also stark naked.
At first, this thought was repulsive. Then Ron remembered last night. They had graduated and had a week without classes, a week of pure freedom before the real world. There was fire whiskey and Ron had drunk a large amount and gotten drunk.
Very Drunk.
Drunk enough, apparently, to go back to the Slytherin Girl's Dorm Room with Pansy and Millie. Slowly the memories of that night came back to Ron. He remembered that Pansy and Millie were actually, now that they had grown and matured a little, really hot. Parkinson had a very curvy body, while Millicent had strong hips that accentuated her frame just right, giving her a sexy shape. (Of course, you couldn't tell this under their robes.) And of course, they both had perfect boobs; Pansy's were perky and were just the right shape and size; Millicent's were slightly bigger and firmer, and perfectly proportioned. (In other words, they both were hot.) Ron remembered his hands exploring every inch of both Pansy and Millicent. He even remembered carrying Pansy into her dorm room bridal style, the hours of working out with Harry having paid off, making him pretty strong and giving him a well-defined six-pack, much to Millie's delight. Pansy had giggled at that. Ron then carried Millie into the dorm room, also Bridal style, causing her to giggle as well.
Ron sat up suddenly. They'd had sex, several times that night before.
"Did either of you, think to use…protection?" Ron asked Pansy.
"No. All three of us were drunk," said Millicent, her eyes still closed, "Why?"
"Why? Don't you know anything about the Weasley Family? The Weasley family is famous for being very fertile. My dad was one of 4 boys and 3 girls; my granddad was one of 6 boys and 4 girls, my great-grandad was one of seventeen boys and girls."
"So," said Pansy.
"So? My aunts, all 3 of them, each have at least three boys of their own," said Ron.
"So?" said Millicent.
"My aunts all got pregnant their first time doing it," said Ron.
"So?"
"You girls are idiots. What if I'm…pregnant?" said Ron.
Pansy and Millie hadn't thought of that. They remembered the night of passion they had had, both of them having sex with Ron Weasley, several times. It was their first time and Ron's too; they had both been pleasantly surprised by how well-endowed Ron was. And how strong his instincts were for proper use of his endowment.
"Well let's get dressed then. We'll go to the hospital wing and if you are pregnant, we'll decide what to do then," said Pansy.
So Ron, Pansy, and Millie, got dressed, and went to the Hospital wing. It was 10 in the morning and they went in to see Madam Pomphrey. She listened to their story and tutted at them for not using protection like sensible adults, especially knowing the famous Weasley Fertility, and proceeded to examine Ron.
As it turned out, Ron was not pregnant. Madam Pomphrey then examined Millie and Pansy, who were also not pregnant, thankfully.
So they went down to lunch and Ron sat at the Gryffindor table. Immediately Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan came over and sat across from him, grinning.
"So, we saw you leave the post-graduation celebration party last night," said Dean.
"With Pansy and Millie," said Seamus.
"So?" said Ron.
"So…details man…spill" said Dean and Seamus together. So Ron regaled them with details of his conquest of Pansy and Millie, and he didn't even have to exaggerate.
"But we didn't use protection, so when we got up this morning, we went to see Madam Pomphrey, and I am so relieved," said Ron.
Hermione had just sat down to join them. She had been at the party as well, eventually leaving for a night of passion with Neville Longbottom. (She had no idea just how…talented the Hufflepuff was, and was glad that she had said 'Yes' when he proposed to her during Easter break.)
"Why are you relieved, Ron?" asked Hermione.
"Because I'm not pregnant," said Ron.
Hermione stared at him. "Uh Ron, you can't get pregnant," said Hermione.
"I know, because I'm not married," said Ron.
"Uh…No…because…you…are…a…boy," said Hermione, talking very slowly as if to a particularly stupid child.
"So?" said Ron.
Hermione sighed and resisted the urge to beat her head on the table. It seems that the Wizarding World lacked more than just logic.
And so it was that Millie, Pansy, and Ron would meet up again during the week for another liaison of passion; this time Ron got Pansy pregnant. So he proposed to her, which he was going to do anyway. He also proposed to Millie at the same time. They both said Yes without hesitation. After all, Draco had broken the engagement with Pansy to pursue Astoria Greengrass and Goyle had broken his engagement with Millie to pursue a relationship with Crabbe's younger sister. (Having a broken engagement in the wizard world made it much harder to find a spouse.)
They had a long and happy marriage. Ron had started Auror training but left when he felt he didn't fit the job. He became Keeper for the Chudley Cannons and helped them become second in the league for five years running before his semi-retirement to become the team's coach. As coach, he helped the team win their first league championship. He then retired and was allowed to keep the trophy at his house, in honor of his 55 year career. He then went on to teach broom riding and be the referee for Quidditch at Hogwarts, where Pansy was the Potions Mistress and Millie taught potions. Headmistress Hermione Longbottom had decided to split the position of Potions Master and Potions teacher. They would actually share the teaching and potions making duties between them; it worked out really well.
Millie gave birth to 7 boys and Pansy gave birth to 3 boys and a set of twin girls, who took after their uncles Fred and George and took over the joke shop when they retired. Ron passed away, in his sleep, at the ripe old age of 180; he was a proud great-grandfather. Millie and Pansy both passed away, in their sleep, a year later on the anniversary of his death.
This goes with the previous chapter. I also had to make it up to Neville Longbottom for the previous chapter and his poor 'performance' so I did. People rarely seem to ship Neville and Hermione, so I did. Oh and the stupidity about Ronald thinking he could get pregnant is actually on purpose, so yeah, I meant to do that.
Once again, I am not advocating premarital sex nor am I advocating polygamy.