Hey guys:D so here is my next update, its longer than therest, on word it is 7pages so thats all good :) the first poemy part was a song i found which i cant remeber the name to and the rest that all end in the same 3 lines is what i have written. the next chapter is going to be in edwrds POV so that might get you interested and also bella will finally meet the cullens, well at least edward :) i know i said they would meet in this chapter but i wrote so much for the whole leavcing and it didnt plan the way i was going to go and plus iw anted to get this up tonight and i have to go to bed so i thought id leave it wher i have and make the meeting in the next chapter :)
THANKS SO SO SO MUCH FOR ALL REVIEW ALERTS, STORY ALERTS AND FAVOURITED SOTRIES MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT ME TO KEEP WRTING AND THAS WHAT MAKES ME CARRY ON. PLEASE KEEP UP THE REVIEWS AND EVERYTHING :D
Disclaimer: i own NOTHING its all stephanies characters :)
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The sun shone through my window, and I curled tighter into a ball. I didn't want to leave my comfort, but I knew I would be forced up soon, so slamming my hand down onto the alarm to stop it, I pulled myself up. Staggering a bit and hobbling around my room, from the newest beating I have had which led to a sprained ankle, possibly broken; I grabbed my clothes and made my way into the bathroom. Charlie wasn't up yet and so I turned the shower onto full heat and stepped into it, and let the rain of water slide around my body and over my hair. The sensation was amazing and if I was allowed I would stay here all day, but just as these thoughts came, just on queue, 'IT' turned up,
"Bella, you better not be using all that water young lady, if my shower turns cold……"
"YES DAD!"
I sighed; I went through this every shower time. Only 3 times a week and they are only 5mins long. He goes through his hot water speech every time and then stays in the shower until its cold so he cans shout and beat me. I swear sometimes he's not even in the shower, just lets the water run.
But as he runs this house I am forced to get out have washed and get changed. I slipped my jeans over my black skinny jeans carefully, minding my ankle. My top over my head with my holey black jumper. Unlock the bathroom and step out into the dangerous zone. The bathroom and my room were the only safe zones; he couldn't get to me because they both had locks. If I was having an awful beating I would go to the bathroom mainly, as there is no ladder to the window, he couldn't get me. In my room he could go to the ladder climb in, so the bathroom was the only double safe zone. He threatened to take locks away, so I have stopped using it as a safe zone and only using it on special occasions, like when dad had taken drugs again, or was thinking about mum. They were the worst times. Him getting drunk over mum, and then lashing out at me for looking too much like her or smelling too much like her.
I walked to my bedroom and looked over at the calendar. Everyday of for the last month I've been counting down and finally it has come. I wanted to scream with joy, my birthday. Tomorrow. I was going to leave. Run away. I decided to leave at 16. I think I would be dead by the time I'm 18 or loose my courage. So now. I'm brave and strong. Ready for tomorrow and my leaving. I have a small handle bag to take and some supplies, I don't have much, but it's enough. The one thing I do have is money, I don't know how, but my sisters used to steal it and get away with it, we saved and saved so we could run away together. So now it's just me. Me alone. But I can use the money for supplies and petrol. Go to the other side of the world or further. Any where away from this monster.
Today I tried carrying on as normal. I didn't know what I was feeling, but I wasn't too good at hiding it. on one hand I am excited about finally getting away from this terrible place but on the other hand I was nervous about getting away without being hurt. My mood was strange today and unluckily for me my dad noticed,
"What are you so happy about?" he asked me in a dull tone as I sat at the table eating one of my meals this week.
"Nothing, why?" I answered in the same dull tone he asked me,
"You seem….. Cheery today…." He was right. I kept smiling and even when he tripped me up and laughed I didn't look away and storm off as normal, I just got my self back up and carried on.
"No, it's just my birthday tomorrow, just excited" I didn't think he would buy this, I've never been excited bout my birthday, because…. Well…. Really it didn't exist in my dad's eyes, he didn't want me here, and so he didn't care. He just made a grunt and walked off muttering to him self.
That day I walked around trying to keep my happiness on a low level so suspicion wasn't aroused. It was hard, I kept thinking bout what I would do when I got out of here. I had developed my plan over the last year, and my writing was improved now it read;
2.30 get up,
Pick up already packed stuff,
Climb down ladder,
Pick the lock on car,
Ride as fast and as far as possible
I was determined that I would get away what ever happens. I've had food today so I'm a little stronger, maybe I could fight him off if need be.
After a piece of bread and butter as my last meal of the week I was sent to bed early, my dad couldn't stand to see me whilst I looked so 'cheerful' as he put it. As I came into my room, a chill spread over me and I felt as though something…… someone was watching me, I spun on the spot but nothing looked odd so I brushed my teeth quickly still nervous as I crept along and into my bed. I stayed awake for most of the night, I knew I needed my sleep but I just couldn't help but feel eyes on me, something moving, just something…… something different.
2.30 came slowly but the chimes on the old wooden clock finally struck 2.30. Silently I clambered out of bed and slowly made my way across the room wincing as, yesterday's beating still painful sat on my skin. I grabbed my bag and slid my pale long fingers under the window ledge trying to silently pull it open.
After a few small silent pushes the window was open enough to get myself out and onto the ladder easily. I put my foot onto the first step on the ladder and then the next. Slowly and steadily my feet and hands worked together to form a simple pattern that kept me getting down the ladder without a sound. Everything was going so well until….. AAHHH! My foot slipped on one of the last steps and a scream poured out of my mouth. My first instinct after noticing what I had done was to jump so I jumped the last few steps and led on the floor hoping is dad had woken he wouldn't see me and go back to bed. After a few moments I saw the bedroom light shine onto the ground, I led awfully quiet no sudden movements but as I moved my eyes to look up I saw the hall light come on this was my only chance, otherwise it would be death for me.
Whatever happens now I'm in danger. If I stay here he will find me, go to my room realise I'm not there and come search for me. I would be left here and he would surely kill me like my innocent sisters. But if I ran for it he would follow come to find me. I didn't have long to make my decision as I knew he was walking down those stairs right now, I knew a bit of time would be spent unlocking the 6 locks the door had to keep me inside but I still didn't have that long.
Somehow I made my way to the car and was picking at the lock as fast as I could, I could hear the keys for the locks rattling away and finally just as the front door swung open the car door unlocked and I rushed inside.
"ISABELLA YOU COME BACK HERE NOW! YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY YOU HEAR ME! I WONT LET IT HAPPEN! ILL HUNT YOU! ILL FIND YOU! YOU'LL NEVER BE SAFE!" with his anger reaching its limits and me shaking like a leave it was pretty easy for him to get near me quickly. In no time at all he was at the side of my door swinging it open and pulling me out. I fell to the floor burying my head into the ground unable to move, paralysed by fear. I heard his leg swing then WHAM into the side of me. I squealed in pain trying not to look up. I didn't want to see the hurt, the pain that my dad had was in right now, he must be right I am a pathetic excuse for a daughter.
"YOU" kick "WILL" kick "NEVER" kick "DISOBEY" kick "ME" kick "EVER" kick "AGAIN" kick. I groaned in pain with every kick, with ever word, a different part of heart was breaking.
I'm feeling so worn out...I just can't scream and shout
You're coming home for me...
Whatever did I say...To make you act this way?
I'm your little angel...So why am I crying?
What would you say if I would tell?
Would you release me from this cell?
You said this would not hurt, would not hurt
But I don't feel well said that I don't want to...
How do you see to be loved?
Wonderful view from above
How does it feel to be loved?
I wouldn't know...
Would I ever get away from this place? It seems not. My dad was kicking me again harder and harder, every bruise darker, every bruise marking a part of my broken heart, every bruise lasting longer than the one before, every bruise killing me.
Why am I here when all I do is cause anger?
Why am I here if all I get is pain?
I'm drifting away, away from the world
No one knows and no one cares
No one knows what lies in store for me everyday
Every kick and every word
It's breaking my heart
I'm falling apart
Losing the will to live
I was led on the ground, my dad crouched beside me. His voice in my ear, kissing like a snake,
"Why do you do this? You know it makes me angry? You know I have to punish you then and hurt you. Why why DO YOU DO IT!?!?!?!" and with one more hard kick I felt myself slipping into a deep sleep. I knew I had to get away today, it was my last chance, I dint care how much it took I knew I had to go, so fighting the constant battle with my eyelids I forced my self to get up from the ground, bending over slightly from the pain,
"I have to go dad" I said in a small whisper, "if I leave you wont get angry, you wont have to hurt me, please, we can both live….. A good life" I knew he wouldn't let me, but it's was worth a chance.
"I DON'T THINK SO! IVE WROKED SO GOD DAMN HARD TO KEEP YOU HERE! IM NOT GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING I HAVE WORKED FOR WITH YOU!"
Why do you say such nasty thing?
Why do you lie and says it's for my own good?
I don't understand what I've done wrong
I don't understand why you've changed
You used to be nice and calm
But now you're making me drift away
Away from the world
It's breaking my heart
I'm falling apart
Losing the will to live
He came towards me again, getting ready to wing. I don't know where it came from one ounce of strength left in me I kicked him. Out of surprise he fell to the floor giving me chance to run to the car. The car door still open, I swing it shut and lock the doors. My hands were shaking badly but I knew this was my last chance, my only chance so I started up the car and pulled as fast as possible out of the drive. Not knowing how to drive I just pressed what ever I could find hoping I would get the hang on it.
Flying down and down deep to the ground
My heart is being eaten away
Tearing down the bumpy road
To never see him again
I'm lost
I'm confused
I don't know what to do
It's breaking my heart
I'm falling apart
Losing the will to live
Flying down this road scared me. The darkness, the forest all around, not knowing if he was following, not knowing if I was safe. Tears were streaming down my face and with every movement I made a searing pain shot through my whole body wanting me to scream. My hands were shaking badly, I didn't even see that I was veering off the road until I whacked right into a tree. My whole body screamed din pain worse than before, not knowing what to do I tumbled out of the car, tears blocking my vision not seeing that I was walking straight into the man I was running from.
You came back to me
You followed me
You're haunting my life,
Never going to let me go
To live my life alone,
How do I get away from this pain?
Will I ever be the girl I am inside?
It's breaking my heart
I'm falling apart
Losing the will to live
"LET ME GO CHARLIE" I've never used his real name before, I've always respected him and called him dad what ever he did to me. I must be losing all sense of feeling by now as I tore my whole body away from his loosened grip. Running as fast as my heels would carry me, tearing through the darkened forest, hearing the footsteps behind me, Charlie's footsteps.
"HELP! HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could. Hoping someone would be here, I would come across a house or just something.
I hear Charlie's footsteps getting quieter and quieter as I ran. Maybe he has stopped, but I kept my protesting legs going faster and faster, until they wouldn't go any faster and I crumble into a heap.
"Help, someone please find me, someone safe me from my life, please help me" I spoke, no energy to scream it, I just led hoping ad praying someone would find me before he did.
I'm lying here
All alone
Will any one notice that I'm gone?
Does anyone even know I even exist?
Will some hear my prayers?
Save me from my dreadful life
Take the pain and suffering away
It's breaking my heart
I'm falling apart
Losing the will to live
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please please review! some people have this on story alert but dont review so pleeease take 2 mins to tell me what you think. So go ahead and press the pretty lil button :D
kerri xxxxxxxx