Change My Needs
Charming was still in a state of shock, four days had passed since Donna had been killed.
All subjects on what happened revolved around a case of mistaken identity, the attack wasn't meant for Donna but for Opie.
Opie carried the weight of her death, blaming himself for what happened to her that night.
'If she took the kids to my mum's that night, it would have been me that got gunned down not her, the kids would still have a mum but she knew that this would happen, she said it so many times that I would bring death to our family but I never expected it to be hers'.
Clay had taken responsibility for what happened, the blame laid on the deal with the Mayans, he knew that the Niners would be have been pissed for the SONS betrayal but he didn't think it would lead that far.
The rest of the club felt the guilt for agreeing to the Mayan deal in first place.
The blame still remained purely with the Niners and Piney was vowing for blood but even though Jax agreed with him that they needed payback.
Donna was going to be laid to rest tomorrow and it didn't seem right to go after anyone while everyone was still coming to terms with what happened but Piney was heartbroken by the loss of his daughter in law and could only see revenge at this point.
She stared at the front page of the newspaper, like she had done for the last two days.
She had returned to work but she noticed the look the parents gave her and she knew what they thought, was she going to end up the next victim of mistaken identity.
So she stayed at Jax's and grieved as she looked at the pictures from the party of her and Donna laughing and Donna and Opie looking at each with happy smiles and love in their eyes.
That was how Donna would always be remembered as a loving wife and mother, not as the victim of gang related violence.
She had gone over to Opie's with Jax and watched how his kids, didn't understand why there mum wasn't coming back.
It was impossible to try and understand how they were feeling, death was hard for children to understand.
The last thing they remembered about her was her kissing them goodbye and then that was it.
She sat with them giving Jax time to be with his best friend at this difficult time, the blame that he felt was destroying him.
She sat outside and watched Kenny kick a ball against the wall, while Ellie sat on the swing tears still fresh in her eyes as she sat there missing her mum.
Haley went to sit beside her and she looked at her.
'I miss my mummy'.
Haley looked at the young girl and nodded.
'I know you do but your mum, she loved you so much and I know that you miss her and it's okay to miss her but she will always be with you and watching over you and your brother to make sure that your safe and happy.
Remember all the good times you had with your mum it will help, tell some of your best memories of your mum'.
She watched as the tears disappeared for Ellie's eyes as she spoke about Donna, Haley found herself laughing and soon Kenny had joined them and she sat there with these two amazing children as they spoke about their mum.
They had been so sure that it had been the Niners that killed her.
But he listened to Leroy, tell him that even though the Niners have beef with the SONS, he wouldn't have taken it out on an innocent women and gun her down in cold blood, it wasn't his style.
He didn't know what to do with this new information if it wasn't the niners it had to be someone else and he had gone to the police station curious to know if any new leads had been found but there was nothing, well that's what Unser told him but Hale told him something different.
Something made him question what really happened that night.
She got out of her car and saw her friend sitting on the door step, just staring lost in deep thought.
She sat down beside her and looked at her, Haley didn't even move as she down but continued to stare.
'You find yourself thinking a lot at times, like this I know I have'.
Haley looked at Peyton and then back at the street in front of her, as a mother walked with her daughter.
'It's crazy, you know to think that one second you here living your life not thinking that in an instant your gone, taken from everything you know and love.
It's wrong that something like this happened to a good person, that someone out there had the intention to just go after an innocent person and take her away.
How broken does the world have to be for someone to do something without remorse for their actions.
Love was never made to be simple but I never knew that it could be so dangerous, maybe your right to never truly let someone in it keeps you safe'.
She fell back into silence as the sound of the child's laughter reached her ears as she ran towards her father who picked her and kissed her cheeks.
Peyton knew that these words came from Haley's fear that maybe being in love with Jax, was the worst thing for her that it could end up getting her hurt or worse.
'Hales, don't beat yourself up over this I understand why you are so upset but Donna's love for Opie isn't the reason her life was taken before her time, it happened because some people are just evil, nobody deserves to be taken from the world like that'.
'But it still happens'.
She looked at Peyton and then towards the street as he pulled up in front of the house.
He looked at her as she stood up and walked into the house and then at Peyton as she walked over to him and smiled.
'Hey'.
She smiled as he embraced her.
'I wanted to see you were holding up?'.
'I've been better, how's she doing?'.
'She's not doing well, she lost a friend, the only other women involved with the SONS that isn't your mother or me, the only person she could really talk to about the club, she's afraid that loving you may cost her life'.
'Maybe she's right but I wouldn't let something like this happen again not to her or anyone else'.
'I know that but she's not used to this feeling, being with you is new to her it's dangerous, being with you and in your world it isn't simple for a girl like her, for her whole life all Haley has known is safe and then she meets you and falls for you.
There is no doubt in my mind to how much she loves you but she is scared, you need to let her know that she has nothing to be scared of before she runs out of that door'.
Maybe if she left it would be the best thing for her but he wasn't willing to let her leave him again, he let Tara walk away from him once and that was a mistake that he moved on from but letting Haley walk away would be the worst mistake he would never move back from.
'Hey, you love her, then don't give her a reason to leave, that's all it takes'.
She touched his hand and he sighed looking at the house.
'I'm here if you need me'.
'I know thank you, in all of this I haven't even asked how your doing?'.
'Death is an old friend of mine, I'm doing okay, just worried about my brother and my friend, I'll see you tomorrow'.
They shared one last embrace before she walked over to her car, he watched her drive away before heading into the house.
He found her sitting on his bed, legs pulled up to her chest, she didn't look at him as he sat beside her.
'Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet, everyone goes on about how it's such a romantic story but it really isn't.
What is romantic about death, when your life and other people's lives are at risk.
Nothing is okay, anymore, I'm not strong enough for all of this, and I'm not brave.
My life has never been dangerous, I'm the girl that has always made the right choices but with you I know things that I shouldn't know, I want to have kids, get married, I want normal Jax, I want to be safe.
I know that you struggle with doing the right thing but I'm scared that one day I won't be able to have those things because I won't be here, I don't want you to have my blood on your hands, I don't want to be taken from this world before my time from my family, friends and you but nothing is certain anymore for me anymore not now that I'm with you, I'm afraid'.
Her voice broke as she turned to look at him, fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
She didn't want to say these things to him, he knew that but she had every right to be scared.
He touched her face forcing her to look at him.
'I know that being with me isn't easy but having you in my life it's not my second chance, it's a fresh start to do things differently, better than I have in the past.
With you, Abel and Peyton, you are my family and I know that what happened to Donna will never make sense, hell it doesn't even make sense to me and I know your looking for a reason to run out that door and out my life but I can't let you walk away Haley'.
She closed her eyes his words running through her head, his voice was pleading with her and it was tearing her apart.
'I will never make a choice where I have ended up putting your life in danger, nothing in my life is certain expect for you, the one thing that never changes and your wrong you are brave it grows every day and so does your strength'.
She felt his lips against hers and opened her eyes to find him holding her gaze with a burning stare.
She noticed the messenger bag shoved in the back of the of the cupboard under a pile of old newspapers and she pulled it out, opening the bag to find the half burned pages of her late husband's manuscript
The Life and Death of Sam Crow: How the Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way.
She remembered him writing this but after he died she never thought about it but now she held it in her hands.
She was curious to the words he wrote the secrets on the page
The moment his eyes landed on his son, almost a year ago, she should have known that this was coming, he had mentioned finding some of his father's old things and she had seen them herself the journals and pictures.
But now it rested in front of her, the reason he had been second guessing and questioning every move the club made.
Clay wasn't his father by blood but she hoped that he would turn out more like Clay than his own father.
But he was John's blood, every day he walked in the footsteps of his father marching to the beat of his drum.
He was smart, always searching for something more, seeing the bigger picture and she hated that knowing that the words of his father where going to send him down a path she didn't want him to follow.
He sat there and waited, he would wait for Clay all damn night if he had too.
He needed to know the truth, he knew that the Niners had nothing to do with Donna.
Clay had sworn to him that Opie was safe he came to the club after the whole ATF misunderstanding but now the seeds of doubt had been laid and he had no idea what the truth was.
Clay thought of him as a son, he knew that Jax wouldn't be pleased if he knew what he and Tig had done.
He was right to take the responsibility the guilt of Donna's death was on him, a mistake had been made on both his and Tig's part a mistake that they would never be able to take back, they had taken a mother away from her children.
That was their downfall they couldn't have just put all their suspicions in Opie ratting them out to the ATF to rest when he walked into the club with nothing to hide.
Doubt still remained in their minds, they had reasons not to believe him after Tig discovered both the bugs in his truck and his phone but when Unser told Clay that Opie had been set up by the ATF it was too late to change anything, the damage was already done.
He walked into the room and met Jax's stern stare as he took the last drag of his joint, putting it out as Clay walked into the room.
He didn't move from his seat or say anything just stared waiting for Clay to say something.
'Are you waiting for me?'.
He nodded as he watched the man he saw as a father sit down at the head of the table.
'A week ago, when Opie walked in her with nothing to hide and told us the truth you promised me that he was okay and that no harm would happen to him, that he was safe and now 7 days later I'm asking you in this moment to be honest with me, father to son tell me the truth?'.
His eyes watched Clay's reaction to his words and then he continued.
'Was what happened to Donna on you, was it meant to be Opie that got gunned down?'.
He watched as Clay bowed his head if only for a moment exhaling and then looking at him.
'I love Opie and I loved Donna, I don't know where this is coming, don't know who is filling your head with this doubt but I'd never do anything to hurt them'.
He stood up and headed to the door.
'It's a tough time for us , you know that and all this suspicion, resentment, your feeling that can spread and destroys a charter'.
He nodded and walked out of the room out of the club house and into the bar where Juice was sitting nursing a bottle of beer.
'Have you seen Tig?'.
He asked Juice who was looking down remorse in his eyes and he nodded.
'Yeah, he's on his way to the safe house to deal with the witness that shopped in Bobby'.
He seemed on edge and almost upset.
'What's the matter?'.
'I got the info on the witness, she's a 17 year old girl, she's just a kid'.
He took of his cut and shoved it in Juices hands storming out of the club, he heard Clay calling back but he ignored the voice of his step farther.
She was terrified, she was told that she would be safe that was the whole point of being in police custody and in a safe house.
So that she would be protected but she wasn't being protected now.
They had stared at her for a while and she wondered if she could try and escape but she was paralysed with fear, she saw the guns they held in their hands.
She didn't even try and fight back as they tied her hands together and covered her head.
She heard them talk around her, about what needed to be done and she cried it was all she could do as she waited for her end to come.
'I'm sorry'.
She heard the voice say as they sat her in a chair, she tried to think of something else a better time before she became a witness to a murder but she couldn't all she could think about was how she would never see her parents again or her siblings.
He saw the van parked on the corner of the road, the squad car parked in front of the house with no officers in sight.
He stalked round the back of the house and saw Tig through a crack in the blind sit the girl in the chair and pulls his gun out of the back of his jeans.
'Put the gun down'.
She hadn't heard this voice before, a police officer she thought or maybe an ATF agent.
Tig, Chibs and Happy all looked at him as if he was joking, they knew what the deal was here.
It seemed so easy for him to hold a gun towards a young defenceless girl without a second thought about it.
'Excuse me'.
'We don't kill women'.
Tigs heard it clearly in his voice, Jax knew he may have acted like he believed Clay but Jax was smarter than they gave him credit for and he knew that if Clay was involved in Donna's murder, Tig most certainily was he was after all Clay's right hand man.
She heard the gun cock and felt it against her neck, her breath coming out in fast panicked burst.
It was that easy for him to kill her when her face was covered so she didn't see the monster that stood before her, almost as easy to roll up on a truck and take a mother's life
'Put it down or I swear to god I will put a bullet in your temple'.
'Do you really have the balls to do that'.
He was challenging him, testing him but Jax didn't move he kept the gun at his head, no shake in his arm, he stood his ground eyes blazing with anger and betrayal, he wasn't playing around he would kill him and he knew it was time to back down before more blood was spilled.
He sent Chibs and Happy away even though they weren't pleased with the change in plan they didn't want to piss him off even more so they left no arguments
She stared at him as he pulled the hood from over her face and tore away the tape from her mouth.
Eyes blazing with anger and his voice raged as he told her why, she was wanted dead, she didn't argue or refuse to leave she did as she was told and ran out into the night.
He threw the first punch, they tore through the living room of the safe house as they fought, letting out the tension between them on each other before he walked out and drove away into the night.
She sat up and felt her stomach turn and ran to the bathroom throwing up in the toilet.
It burned in her throat, this wasn't the first time she had been sick, she had been feeling ill for a little over a week now but the more she thought about it the more she wondered.
They where always safe but there had been one night a little over two weeks ago that in heat of the moment they didn't even think about it as they tore of each other's clothes in a moment of wanting.
It hadn't been the most comfortable sleep of his life but he couldn't go home to her not after had happened between him and Tig.
He had wounded up at the cemetery, drowning his sorrows with 2½ bottles of vodka.
He walked through the cemetery and saw a women sitting between some bushes, he had seen her the night before and she had offered him her blanket and he gave her his hoodie in return.
He smiled at her handing back the blanket and then continuing to walk away.
It had been a long time since they had both been at a funeral, the last funeral they had attended had been for Whitey.
Peyton held her hand as they walked through the cemetery and towards the sight where Donna was being buried.
His cut draped over her arm after Juice dropped it round to the house expecting him to be there.
He could hear the minister speaking as he made his way over, he saw her sitting beside Peyton, eyes down as she listened to what was being said.
She felt Peyton tap her leg and opened her eyes as Peyton nodded in the direction of his arrival.
He stopped walking as she walked over to him, his cut in her hands.
He looks at as she holds it and then he looks at Clay and then his eyes go back to her. She touches his lip only lightly but doesn't say anything as she helps him with his cut and then watches him walk over.
He knows that they are watching him as he joins them, he walks over to Opie resting a hand on his shoulder.
Before turning to the coffin and picking up a flower, he stares towards them as the ones that had really committed the act of brutality that led them all their on that Sunday morning, his eyes said everything they needed to know.
Peyton noticed the looks that passed between them and she wasn't the only one.
He kissed the flower once, placing it on top of the coffin.
'I'm sorry'.
He turns to leave watching her as she stands in the same spot, her hand resting on her stomach.
He stops in front of her, hand on her waist bringing her closer to him, kissing her tenderly before placing his hand over hers, foreheads touching and he nods simply.
She looks at his retreating form as he walks away and notices the looks of concern, disappointment and anger that are being sent in his direction.
He approaches her and she turns to smile at the older man.
'Your brother is a good man, in the company of darkness'.
She looked at him as he hands her the large envelope.
'Your father was a good man, he wanted good things, give this to Jax, it's what he needs'.
'I don't understand'.
Piney looked at her before walking away.
'Tell him it's time for a change, he'll understand'.
He was sitting on the grave of their brother, a cigarette hung from his lips as he thought about the club and what it had become.
She stood beside him placing a hand on his shoulder and he placed a hand over hers.
'I have something for you'
She handed him the envelope and he looked at her not understanding.
'It's time for a change, Piney said you'd understand'
He stared at the headstone as he opened the envelope and stared at the stack of paper, unburned like his copy.
The Life and Death of Sam Crow: How the Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way.
By John Thomas Teller
He sees her watching him but she doesn't walk over to him, she gives him time with his thoughts.
We Fight Because We Believe
These words resonate with him and he nods agreeing with the message that Peyton gave him.
All her goodness and light, isn't worthy of him but yet she stayed she could have left but she stands there waiting for him.
He doesn't look at the eyes that watch him with deep concern as he walks over to her.
This story will follow a few storylines that where featured in the show but will also have Haley finding herself fighting for her man and on the wrong side of the law and Peyton getting involved with the newest prospect even though Jax's is going to make him prove himself worthy of his sister.
Thanks for reading.