Two Americans in London

CHP 6: Barefoot in the park

Wilson quickly slid the brochures into his pocket, not quite sure what he was planning on doing with them. While he was in deep thought about his certain state of affairs, Cameron came up behind him and made him jump.

"There's nothing here Wilson, House left here with no evidence to incriminate him." Cameron announced over Wilson's shoulder.

"No, unless you count the massive supply of narcotics he keeps in his apartment." Chase commented sarcastically as he entered the kitchen with Foreman close behind.

"I wasn't speaking literally." Cameron rolled her eyes at Wilson to which he nodded in sympathy, desperately trying to seem normal.

"Look, there's nothing here. Like I said before we left, we're not going to figure out where House is, so we might a well enjoy the time that he's gone." Foreman pointed out.

"Not to mention there's no Cuddy to ride us either." Chase added to which Wilson shifted uncomfortably, crap! He needed to get of here before his body language gave everything away. Cameron noticed the awkward shuffle but didn't say anything, she decided she would wait and see how the night panned out.

It was late at night or maybe it was early in the morning. House couldn't tell. All he knew was the lightning right now flattered Cuddy immensely. They stumbled out of the bar together, agreeing on a tie for fear of alcohol poisoning if they drank anymore. House was carrying his cane, not using it, Vicodin and alcohol dulling his senses and his pain. He walked as normally as a wasted cripple could walk. He was doing better than Cuddy anyway. Her high heels sent her tumbling several times, each ending with a hysterical fit of laughter in a ball on the floor. Eventually Cuddy left her shoes on the side of the road, deeming them as "hooker shoes" anyway.

"How did the Dean of Medicine get so good at drinking?" House asked.

"You know to your surprise, I'm not just the Dean of Medicine. I do have a life when you're not ruining it." She replied.

"Well if you only have a life when I'm not ruining it, I must be your entire life."

"The nurses would probably agree with you. They already think we're sleeping together. They seem to think we're perfect for each other. But I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or a compliment."

"Some people just can't understand the subtly of my charm and grace."

"I don't think you even understand it." Cuddy expressed, but upon seeing the look on House's face when she said that she quickly changed the subject. "Well you may be a Renaissance man, but there's still one thing I can do that you can't."

"Bleed out of your vagina, walk around in monstrous heels, and pull off very low cut tops?"

"I can do this." Cuddy ran across the road to the park and in the process nearly got run over by a taxi. She giggled when the cabbie starting swearing at her while he drove away.

"I think you're better at bleeding out of your vagina." House teased as he hobbled toward her into the park.

"Well," Cuddy spluttered, searching for a comeback, "Size does matter House, so there!"

She marched away in fake anger cracking up at her own joke. Cuddy was completely wasted; soon she was jumping from street lamp posts and performing various musical numbers. House watched Cuddy, a sly smile spreading over his face. She was extremely entertaining to watch; every now and then a smile would escape from her lips that was so radiant it forced him to smile back. But soon Cuddy got tired of jumping around and sat down on the bench House had plopped himself on.

"Bravo, bravo," House clapped, "Now, when do we get to the strip tease?"

"Well that's not until the third act, don't want to look like a whore now do I?" Cuddy replied with a wink. The alcohol had loosened her tongue.

Cameron knew something was up. Wilson had acted strangely all of last night and had suspiciously given up the hunt for House. She consulted her colleagues.

"You don't think Wilson was acting weird, like he's hiding something from us?"

"Cameron, why does it matter? If Wilson found out something that he doesn't want us to know, so be it." Chase explained.

"Aren't you at all curious as to what was so bad that Wilson is hiding it from us?" she asked.

Foreman sighed and got up from the conference table to make himself more coffee. "Why are we even discussing this? What House does is his business, not ours. In fact I'm happy the guy is taking a break, maybe he'll lighten up when he gets back."

"Yeah, and he's suddenly going to love clinic duty too." Chase added mockingly.

"All I'm saying is House should be able to do whatever he wants without us breathing down his neck. He's a big boy now Cameron." Foreman insisted.

"I was just curious, that's all." Cameron said and plopped down in her chair at the table in a mood. Chase and Foreman exchanged looks before shrugging and going back to reading their magazines.

A few moments later the phone in House's office began to ring. Cameron looked up to see if Foreman or Chase would answer it and sighed with disgust as they ignored the ringing. She pushed herself up from the table throwing each of them "Cuddy worthy" glares and answered the phone.

"Hello, Dr. Gregory House's office. This is Dr. Cameron."

All her reply was heavy breathing followed by a faint giggle in the background so Cameron tried again. "Hello, is anyone there?"

"This is the voice of doom speaking." The familiar voice boomed.

"House is that you?" Foreman and Chase glanced up surprised and approached the office; Cameron put the phone on speaker.

"How are my little ducklings doing without their mama swam?" House asked.

"Are you implying you are our mother swan?" Chase questioned mockingly.

"Yes, just as a mama swan guides her ducklings through I life, I guide you." House replied in a far too wholesome voice.

"House are you high?" Foreman asked.

"Actually I'm wasted."

Cameron couldn't contain her curiosity a moment longer, "Where are you?"

"You haven't already found out?"

"Wilson won't tell us." Chase replied.

"Wow, for once Wilson managed to keep his mouth shut." House exclaimed surprised.

"You haven't answered her question House," Foreman stated. Cameron and Chase stared at Foreman with smug looks on their faces, he shrugged his shoulders. "What I'm interested now.'

"Why weren't you interested before?" House questioned.

"Because for the last few minutes, while Chase and Cameron had been listening to you, I have heard a female voice in the background that sounds completely wasted."

"You've got a woman with you?" Cameron asked anxiously.

"It's probably a hooker," Chase murmured and was about to leave the room in a huff when a very recognizable voice floated from the speaker.

"House look no hands!" All three of them paused when they heard the voice, and then the sudden click of the phone told them that House had hung up.

Cuddy was now balancing on the railings of a foot bridge over a small pond. House limped his way over to her and acted like he was going to push her in, but really he was making sure she didn't fall in.

"Who were you on the phone with?" Cuddy asked, walking a bit faster just in case House decided that he would push her in.

"Cuddy slow down a bit," Cuddy turned around, startled by the sentiment and House quickly changed his statement from caring into cheeky. "Wouldn't want to fall in and give me a lovely view of the ladies."

He had purposely not answered her question. To be honest it was meant to be a stupid drunk prank and he regretted calling them now. One it wasn't very interesting and now for sure his team knew he was with Cuddy.

"I won't fall in I'm invincible!" Cuddy's yelling brought House out of his thoughts. Cuddy was making House worried with her jumping up and down. So he took the handle of his cane, wrapped it around her waist and pulled her down off the railings.

"Until you're more sober, no Wonder Woman for you." House announced becoming slightly more sober as time wore on.

Cuddy stuck out her tongue at House but daren't get back on the railings. Instead she walked at his side, trying to match his long strides.

The trio looked at the phone in amazement, none of them quite brave enough to break the awkward silence.

"Anyone else find that voice eerily familiar?" Chase finally asked.

"It could have been any woman. For all we know she was some random woman House got drunk with and took her home and," Foreman was saying when Cameron interrupted him.

"It was Cuddy." Chase glanced at Cameron confused by her tone of voice.

"But Cuddy's in London, on vacation." Chase stated.

"Yeah, so where do you think House is then? Don't you think it's a coincidence that Cuddy and House, who never take vacations, are taking one at the exact same time?" Cameron pointed out.

"What they do in their spare time is none of our business." Foreman uttered but Cameron wasn't listening.

"I bet that's what Wilson was hiding." Cameron thought out loud and then dashed out of the room. Foreman looked over to a now pissed off Chase.

"I thought she was supposed to be with you?" He asked.

"Yeah I thought so too." Chase angrily replied.

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had sex?" Cuddy asked House. He turned to face her, flabbergasted at what she just said. For once he didn't have a comeback. When House didn't reply she went on. "It's been almost a year! A year! It's because of this stupid baby obsession of mine, you know trying to find the right guy, because like you said, genes matter. But that's over now, I've moved on." Cuddy announced with an over-confident smile.

"Yeah right, people don't move on. They simply forget things. it's the brain's way of protecting the mind. If you forget things, you can't feel the pain from them anymore."

"Well, whether I've moved on or not I'm done trying. I'm sick of all the heartache it has caused and so to celebrate, I'm deciding to have a fling with the first attractive guy I can." Cuddy said giving House a sly look.

"Do you really think that's a good idea? You're drunk, you're not thinking straight. Think about it Cuddy, are you really ready to give up your dream, giving up ever getting the chance of becoming a mother, how can you?" House asked.

"The same way you gave up on humanity. It just hits you one day that all of your expectations," Cuddy paused to look at House, he paused walking and glanced back at Cuddy waiting for her to go on.

"Is this some lame plot device to have me coming back for more?"

Without thinking Cuddy approached House and flung her arms around his neck. She kissed him deeply, thanking God that she was drunk enough that her mind was too paralyzed to scold her. Suddenly his hands were on her face and he was kissing back. The touch of him sent shivers down her spine. Her hands wandered up into his hair and grabbed a hold, trying desperately to grasp onto reality. Everything was in overdrive, her senses all so dominant that they seemed to cancel each other out, until all she could feel was the sensation of their lips together and his arms around her.

But after a few seconds House pulled away from Cuddy, he hobbled back from her, avoiding her eyes, "I won't be your fling. If you want to have sex just to have sex, fine. But I don't do pity sex."

Cuddy watched him limp away and suddenly felt very empty and sober, his last words piercing through her.

Wilson looked up from his sandwich. A loud knock had interrupted his lunch. He saw it was Cameron and realized it was too late to hide. So instead he waved her in.

"Did you know that House was in London with Cuddy?" Cameron accused.

Wilson pushed his sandwich aside; he knew it would be a long time before he got back around to eating it.

Sorry for it being such a long wait, I hope this isn't a dissapointment! Had a great time on my trip! Thanks for reading and all the wonderful comments!