The Reason I Survive
Having an affair doesn't make love easier. You're still faced with problems, arguments and rows. Though Hermione and I were usually pretty good at avoiding these things. Our one cardinal rule was to never ever talk about the future or our respective partners. And believe it or not it worked. But even the cleverest plan sometimes falls through.
One day, about a year after our first encounter Hermione and I had a date. Fleur was visiting her grandmother in France and would be gone for the weekend, so Hermione was coming to visit me at Shell Cottage. When she arrived it took us all of three seconds before we were all over each other, clumsily making our way to the living room couch as we were kissing, fondling and undressing. It was when I was sliding her bra strap off of her that I felt it. The engagement ring.
Hermione Granger, the woman I was kissing and undressing, was engaged. And not just to any random man but to my brother. My little brother. Suddenly what we were doing was that much more real, that much more wrong. I couldn't go through with it. I stopped the kissing. Hermione looked up at me with huge, questioning eyes. And that was when I broke our one rule. I talked about Ron and I talked about the future. To say that she was mad would be an understatement. She left after having shouted at me for far longer than I care to admit.
When the door had slammed behind her I slid down onto the couch lifelessly with my head buried in my hands. I was certain that I had screwed up our entire relationship. And while that saddened me, I did love her after all, I saw a ray of hope, a glimmer of light. This way, I wouldn't have to choose anymore. Life had chosen for me. I was obviously meant to be with Fleur.
In that same instantly I remembered the time when I knew for certain that Fleur was the one for me, that she loved me and always would. I remembered myself lying in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts after being attacked by Greyback. I wasn't completely conscious but I was still able to hear and sense certain things. And what I remember the best from then was how Fleur fought for me. She and my mother had never really gotten long, something that was really hard for me. It's not easy when the two most important women in your life don't get along. Sometimes I was certain that Fleur was going to realize that I wasn't worth the effort. And after the attack I was more certain than ever that she was going to leave me. In my eyes she was pure perfection. Why would she stay with a scarred half werewolf with a difficult mother-in-law? I was ready for her to leave me all together. But she didn't. She fought for me. Her love, devotion and dedication brought me back to life. Her face was the first thing I saw when I came back to her. Her lovely, smiling, adorning face that I have loved ever since I saw it first.
Sitting there all alone in the darkness I started to feel something I hadn't in months. I was beginning to miss my wife. I suddenly missed her smile, her hand on my cheek as she caressed my scars and the way she spoke my name when she orgasmed. Missing her was all I could think of when there was a knock on the door. For a second I convinced myself that it had to be Fleur coming home early because she missed me as well, but I quickly realized that it couldn't be her. Why would she knock on the door of her own home? So in deep wonderment I went to answer the door. And outside in the winter weather was Hermione. I'm ashamed to say that when I laid eyes on her face I forgot all about Fleur and missing her and hoping that she would come home. All I could think of was Hermione.
We didn't say a word. Neither of us mentioned the argument. What would be the point of that? We just kissed and made up. And that night we made sweet, slow love like never before. It was more tender than ever before. With every thrust inside of her, with every moan escaping her lips I fell a little more in love her and Fleur left my heart a little more. That night I told her I loved her. Something I'd never done before, something that was undeniable against our rules. But when she said it back my heart soared that I was happier than ever before.
I know it's been a while since last but I was waiting for inspiration so I could write something you would all love. I hope I have accomplished that!
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