Addie AN: Okay, okay, okay people, don't kill us. I mean, really, we were planning to go short this time but- umm- our chapter kind of exploded. And now it's long. So- get over it. Okay? Okay great. 8^) But anyway- sorry for the long wait for this chapter too- I mean, we got school and all that lovely crap. But anyway, this chapter is long enough so- READ.
Catie AN: HEY! What's with you and always trying to butt (hehe) me out of the ANs? I would also like to apologize for the long chapter length, and...it's all Addie's fault for not telling me when to stop, so blame her. Anyways, yeah...I guess you should read, huh? That would PROBABLY be the smart thing to do. Soooo...I guess...we'll...talk to you...at the...end...?
...
Paul sat on his front steps, his guitar by his side. Last night, on the way home from Alley's, the whole kiss-situation had led him to think of a song. He slept on it, and the whole night he dreamed the tune. And while he knew that what he and Alley did wasn't exactly right, he also knew that Cassidy and John both had it coming. He scribbled some words in the notebook, humming under his breath.
"AYE! PAULIE!"
Paul looked up, grinning at the boy that was coming towards him. He was tall, with blonde hair and big blue eyes. He was the one that had tipped him off about Cass and John's little wrestling match.
"'Ello," Paul chirped. "I've been meaning to talk to you, mate. I wanted to say thanks for tipping me off last night."
His friend leaned against the handlebars, planting his feet on either side of the bicycle he was riding. "Aw, Paul, you know I was just kiddin', right? Just pokin' a bit of fun. Freckles and John was just talking, is all." He grinned, as though this was the joke of the century. Paul's heart plummeted.
Alley was walking fast, head down and her mind on one thing only. She looked like a woman on a mission and she didn't slow down until she reached her destination. From a few houses down she saw Paul sitting on his porch, talking to some blonde kid on a bike. Alley recognized him as one of Paul's friends from school- she felt her heart flutter weirdly when she saw the expression on Paul's face. Hurriedly, she walked up his driveway and stood in front of him, giving a polite head nod to the blonde kid.
Paul watched as his friend nodded to Alley, not inquiring anything about her presence. "Well, I gotta go," he said, running a hand through his hair. "Ivan said he wanted another word." And then he was off, pedalling as though his life depended on it.
Paul looked at Alley slowly, shame crawling around in his stomach and making him sick.
"Er...we have a slight problem."
"Slight?" Alley echoed, snickering at how simple that sounded. "I don't know about you, Paulie but I wouldn't classify what we did as a slight fucking problem!" She pounded up the stairs and plopped down angrily on the chair next to him.
Paul rested his elbows on his knees, his head falling into his palms with a slap. "They didn't even DO anything, Alley."
"What?" Alley said, her head snapping up suddenly. She shook her head, the small pang of guilt she felt before intensifying by 1000 now. "Are you fucking joking?"
"Me mate? The one that told me about the whole thing? Yeah...he said he was just kidding. In fact, they didn't do anything at all. They were just TALKING."
Alley groaned, putting her head in her hands. "No...no..." she said.
"Alley...we...we..." Paul couldn't even say it. His insides were twisting around with guilt. He had kissed the best friend of the girl who he was trying to win over. "If they find out about this," he practically whispered, "we are worse than dead."
"You got that right!" Alley replied, the guilt feeling like burning acid in her stomach. She had never done something like this before and she felt horrible about it. To betray her best friend and the boy she- the boy she felt for was unforgivable. "They're gonna band together to kill us!"
Paul shuddered violently, imaging what John would do to him if he found out. WHEN he found out was more like it. Because he had to face it; John ALWAYS found out. Always.
"We can't tell anyone. Not. A. Soul." Paul looked at her seriously. "This is bad, Al."
"I know," Alley said, letting out a frustrated breath. She couldn't get rid of the feeling in her stomach and it bugged her. "Paul- we had no right to do this."
"I know, I know." He let out a heavy breath, cupping his chin in his hands. "They didn't even..." No, he thought, stop it. You honestly THOUGHT they did. From all the evidence you had, the kiss was perfectly justifiable. "I mean, it's not like we did on purpose, though. It's not like I meant to kiss you back. It just sorta...happened."
"Bull shit," Alley said, looking at him straight in the eyes. "We were both upset because we thought they did something and we wanted to get back at them. You know as well as I do, it was on purpose- whether we thought about it or not." She sighed and then groaned, imagining the hurt look on Cassidy's face if she ever found out about this. It would be a big betrayal— maybe one their friendship couldn't survive. "Paul," she said, her gaze now trained on the sky.
"Even if they did do something, us kissing wouldn't be justified. Contrary to popular belief, two wrongs never make a right."
Paul stared at his hands. "I wish I could take it back. Why did I even believe him, anyways? I should have laughed in his face; Cassidy and John HATE each other. They would never do something like that." He squeezed his eyes shut. "They just can't find out, that's all."
"And what? We're supposed to walk around the rest of our lives knowing we did this? How the hell are we going to be able to face them?"
Paul looked over at her, his face dead serious. "It was a mistake. Maybe, when we feel the time is right..." He took a deep breath, shaking his head. The time would never be right, and he knew it. "We just have to pretend like nothing happened."
Alley sighed, nervously running a hand through her hair. "I guess. We don't have any other choice, do we?"
"We're not telling them," Paul repeated with finality. He gazed over at her, feeling entirely guilty but knowing that this was the only way that he could win Cass over still. "It's the only way."
"Let's make it official then," Alley said, holding out her hand for Paul to shake. "Let's make a pact that we will never tell them what we did."
Paul stuck his hand out, clasping it with hers. "Our little secret."
...
It was a while later and Alley was walking down the street with Cassidy, not having a direction
to go to but both just wanting to go somewhere and do something.
"So," Alley said after a while. "Where exactly are we going?"
Cass smiled, looking up at the sky. She'd been in a great mood for the past couple of days,
though she had no idea why. "Anywhere. Doesn't matter." She almost had to restrain herself
from skipping around and throwing flowers in the air. She grinned to herself at just the
thought.
Alley chuckled at her friend's happy and chipper mood. She herself wasn't fully happy at the
moment- she hadn't been in years- but she was all right; strangely comfortable is how she
would describe it. "Well, do you mind if anywhere ends up being a food joint? I'm fuckin'
starving!"
"Fries and a chocolate shake," Cassidy announced, suddenly craving her favourite foods. She
shared a knowing glance with Alley, then turned her feet in the direction of the little diner that
was near their houses.
"Yes!" Alley said, her mood improving at the prospect of getting food. It wasn't that she didn't
get fed at home- well she ate most of the time anyway- she just liked the diner atmosphere.
Seeing all the people get together, roll and roll blaring from the jukebox- it didn't get better
than that. She felt more at home in the diner than she did at her own house. "I want a
cheeseburger," she said, nodding her head. "A really big fucking cheeseburger! And a shitload
of fries!"
Cassidy laughed. "Definitely. Tonight, we feast."
"Awesome," Alley replied, a small smile on her face. "I wonder if we'll see John." She made a
face when she realized she had actually said that aloud.
"If we do," Cassidy said, completely unfazed by this, "we'll be ignoring him. Tonight, it's just
you and me, baby."
"Baby?" Alley echoed, raising her eyebrows at her Cassidy and laughing. "Am I fucking queer
now or something?"
Cassidy grinned, throwing herself at her tiny best friend and wrapping her arms around her.
"Ohhh yeah. Most definitely." She laughed, the sound loud and foreign to her ears. It made
her realize just how long it had been since she had been honestly and truly happy. "I
LURVVVVVV YOU!"
"Eww! God no!" Alley screamed in mock-terror, laughed and then ducked out of Cassidy's
grasp. She broke into a run and turned back only to say, "Come and get me ya weird fuck!"
Cassidy screamed with delight, chasing after Alley and emitting loud peals of laughter.
"C'mon, Alley!" she yelled, imitating John's voice. "C'mere and give us a kiss!"
"Now now!" Alley called back, running across the small park at the end of the road. "No dirty
talk like that!"
Cassidy's feet pounded hard against the pavement, her breath coming out in short little gasps.
She collapsed in a heap on the grass in the park suddenly, struggling to regain normal
breathing. "FINE!" she surrendered to Alley. "No more homo."
"HA!" Alley laughed, stopping and falling into a heap next to Cassidy. Sweat was falling down
her face and she could barely speak through her ragged breathing. "Thank the Lord! I could
NOT run anymore! I think I might barf up a lung. Maybe both of them."
"I'ma barf up my balls," Cassidy panted, then started giggling all over again. "PENIS!" she
yelled really loud, then let her entire body fall back into the grass. "Ahhhh...gotta love penises.
Unless of course...you know...you're a lesbian."
Alley burst into loud laughter, making it even harder to breathe. She pounded on the grass with
her fist from the force of the laughter coming from her. "Oh. My. God!" she managed through
laughter and laboured breathing. "Now... tell me- what the fuck do you know about dicks that
you loooooooooove them so much?" She raised her eye-brows and gave her a mock-stern stare.
"Have you and Paul been doing things, young lady?"
Cassidy turned her nose up at Alley. "That's between me, Paul, and Little Paul-sorry, I mean
Big Paul, thank you very much."
Alley snorted. "Oh Paul wishes! It's more like... you, Paul and baby Paul!"
"Um, more like me, Paul, and YOUR MOM!"
"Umm... eww?"
"Umm...delicious?" Cassidy snorted, shaking her head. "Okay, too far. Time for food." And
with that, she leapt to her feet, energy regained. She held her hand out for Alley.
Alley looked at Cassidy's hand for a moment, feeling a sudden pang of guilt from her friend's
gesture of kindness. Her mind flashed back to when she and Paul kissed. It was a stupid thing
to do, there was no feeling involved- both of them were angry at John and Cass. But now
Alley knew the truth—nothing had happened between her friend and John. And she had to pact
with Paul to never tell what they did. It just didn't change the fact that she still felt horrible
inside. But she couldn't dwell on it now so she pushed a smile onto her face and put her hand
into Cass', letting her pull her to her feet.
Maybe the next day would be better.
...
Cassidy walked into English class, her mind heavy and filled to the brim with thoughts. All
she wanted was to be left alone, and it was just her luck that she had arrived in Dickface's room
at this moment, where a wish like that could never be granted. She walked back the teacher in
question's desk, inclining her head ever so slightly and narrowing her eyes.
"Dickface," she greeted shortly, breezing past him.
"Cassidy," he answered, not looking up from the papers he grading. She continued to her seat,
dropping her bad down next to her with a thump and staring straight ahead, forgetting the fact
that Alley was already there, sitting next to her.
Alley cleared her throat a few seconds after Cass sat down. Not only did Cass not say anything
to her but she just stared ahead, a weird-ish expression on her face. The throat clearing didn't
work so Alley poked her in the shoulder and snapped her fingers in front of her face. "Cass?
Hello! Earth to Cass!"
Cassidy roved her head to the side, slightly agitated that she had been disturbed out of her
thoughts. "What?" she hissed. Then, upon seeing who it was, apologized quickly. "Oh, sorry,
Al. I was just...thinking."
"I reckon you were!" Alley said, leaning back against the wall and pulling her legs up towards
her and wrapping her arms around them. "What's so serious?"
"Nothing," Cassidy said, even though this was the opposite of the truth. The real truth would
be that she had been thinking a LOT about her family lately, and the whole Cecilia being
perfect thing. Cass wished that she could be like her, but she only wished this secretly. If she
like Cecilia, Mam would probably love her, and Da would laugh more when she did funny
things. But this was the way she was, and it bothered her more than anything else in the world.
She just felt like...letting out her frustrations.
"Nothing?" Alley echoed, intently studying her friend's facial expressions. She looked angry
and upset and there WAS definitely something bothering her. But she knew the way she felt
when she was angry and she knew that pushing wasn't the best answer. So she opted for
making her laugh instead. "Watch this," she said, sitting straight in her chair. "Hey Dickface!
What happens to people who deface school property?"
Cassidy was pulled out her thoughts, a light smile creeping on her face as she watched
Dickface frown deeply. "Well, Miss Diamond, I think you would be better served to tell us
about that, wouldn't you?"
"Oh," Alley said, shooting Cass a smirk before continuing. "Gladly, Mr. Dickface. You see, I
was bored waiting for class to start and I- well, you can see for yourself." Alley nodded her
head towards the top of her desk which was covered in weird drawings, obscene words and
suggestions plus a few song lyrics.
Dickface leapt to his feet, his ears practically perking up. He marched over to Alley's desk,
wrenching it towards him and peering down at the different scribbles. "You did this?" he
asked quietly. His voice was deadly and low. Cass started to giggle.
Alley didn't flinch. She grinned. "It's got potential don't you think?"
He gulped aggressively, leaning down once more to read the few legible words. "Very much
so. I like your word choice on this one here: Cassidy's eyes sparkle like sapphires in the sun,
her hair cresting waves, silkily spun." He looked up with a sneer, his beady little eyes darting
between the two girls. "I never knew you two felt this strongly for each other." Cass
immediately turned a dark, almost purple red. Who the FUCK would write something like that
about her? She didn't know any other Cassidy at her school, so it must be about her, right?
"Ah no, no," Alley countered without skipping a beat and her smirk firmly in place. "I was
merely showing Cassidy my theory of how she gets top grade in this class- not just because
she is smart but because of the teacher's strange infatuation with her." Leaning forward, she
grinned right up at him. "Do you have any idea who I mean?" She got a sudden idea then.
"Or..." she said, cocking her head to the side thoughtfully, "Maybe some other student with an
infatuation with Ms. Farrell here wrote it." She whispered at Cassidy, "Oh say, a mister Paul
McCartney?"
Cass's face drained of the red color it had contained a second ago. Please, God, she begged,
tell me that Alley did NOT just say that out loud. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to get
over herself. Once she was okay, her eyelids sprang back open, and her wit returned. "Paul
McCartney? Never heard of him." She turned to looked at Dickface, her eyes imploring. "I'm
sorry, Mr. Dickface, sir. I can't help it if my hair is like a cresting wave or whatever the hell
you said. That doesn't change the fact that I'm only fifteen and you're like...what? Sixty?"
"Thirty-seven," he hissed back through barred teeth. "And the both of you need watch your
mouths. I AM a teacher, you know. And as for this Dickface business-"
"From the looks of you, it ain't doing any business," Alley broke in, her smirk twitching ever
so slightly with the urge to laugh. This time she was holding it in but pretty soon, she would be
raging with laughter like the last encounter with Dickface.
Cassidy snorted really loudly, and the entire class, who had been chatting lightly, turned to
look at them. They were all ready for Cassidy and Alley vs. Dickface Take Two.
"Watch your mouth!" the man of the hour spat, point wildly at Alley. "You have NO respect.
You DARE sit there, insulting me left and right. You think you're going to pass this class?
You think-"
"But surely," Cassidy interrupted, smiling lightly. "you'll pass me? If only just to watch my
eyes sparkle like sapphires in the sun, right?"
Alley was biting on her lip the whole time and now, her laughter burst out of her, loud and
long. After a few seconds, she stopped and took a deep breath, staring defiantly up at Dickface.
"I have respect but not for you, DICKFACE," she said, making her words sharp and clear.
"And yes, I do dare sit here and insult you because quite frankly? Its fun and it pretty much
makes my day. But you know what?" She stood now, looking up at the tall man and still
staring him down defiantly. "I will pass this class. Because I do all the work and I get top
fucking grades so don't you go around threatening me you sweater vest-wearing queer!" She
plopped back into her chair, a little winded from her speech. But she felt great.
"...and you're ugly," Cassidy added to Alley's speech, feeling the need to make her opinion
known on that one. Dickface glared at both of them, looking speechless. "That's...it..." he
breathed, his chest heaving. "Both of you...DETENTION!"
"Oh! Oooh!" Alley said in an exaggerated tone, putting a hand over her heart. "Detention? Oh
please, no! No, no, no! Don't send me to that horrid place! NO!" Chuckling, she shook her
head and raised her eye-brows up at the teacher. "Detention, really? That's the best you got?
God- and here I thought we'd be having some fun!"
Dickface lowered his face to Alley's, breathing deeply with wildly dancing eyes. "We'll see
how much you like it AFTER the fact." He turned to Cassidy, his expression still the same.
"And I know you have your two cents, Cassidy," he sneered, "but you're going, too." Cassidy,
however, had lost her will to be Alley-ish. She'd never in her LIFE gotten detention. He
straightened, then turned his back on the girls. "Go. Now."
"Okay, sure," Alley replied, not in the least bit convinced or scared of him. Growing up with
Royce had pretty much taken the fear gene right out of her and replaced it with the need to be
defiant towards authority. With a smile on her face she stood, grabbed her bag and headed
towards the door, waving as she did. "See ya, Dickface, it's been gear, really!"
Dickface watched with cruel satisfaction as the two girls got up, heading toward the front of
the class. He completely disregarded what that Alley bitch said, instead smiling eerily.
"Goodbye, ladies. I'll be placing a call with both of your parents, of course. I'm sure Royce
will love to hear about how you're failing my class. We go back SO far."
Cass's eyes widened, and she spun around so fast, to the other's she appeared to be a blur.
"You're sick," she moaned, thoughts of trouble far from her mind. She was SURE from his
tone that Dickface knew about Royce's daily beating of Alley. "You're evil, cruel, and
sadistic...fuck, you're such a poor excuse for a human being it makes me sick to my stomach."
Alley put her hand on Cassidy's shoulder and pulled her back towards the door. She felt
Dickface's comment strike her like a bolt of lightning and it made the slightest bit of fear
creep up into her stomach. But she was determined not to let it show.
"It's fine," she whispered in Cass' ear. "Let it go." To Dickface, she gave an evil look and
simply said, "Fuck you, Dickface." Then she felt a smile creep onto her face and she added,
"Go ahead and call Royce. It's nothing new to me. But you better keep an eye open- I'll send
John Lennon after you!" And with that, she spun on her heel and walked confidently out of the
classroom.
Cassidy wasn't so quick to follow. She watched Alley go out the door, and she felt the classes
eyes upon her, wondering what she was going to do next. She swivelled her head to the side,
looking at Dickface out of the corner of her eye. "If you know," she practically whispered,
"then I only wish the same to you."
And with that, she followed Alley out the door, shaking her head slowly and taking careful,
measured steps.
...
It was the most beautiful day there had been in a while. The sun was out and shining, there was cool, soft breeze, and through Cassidy's open window she could hear little kids playing in the street. She lay on her bed, book propped up on her knees, and smiled gently to herself. Life was good sometimes.
"Cassidy? We're going to take your sister to dance rehearsal! The front door is open."
Cass grinned to herself. Excellent. Could this day GET any better? BOTH parents gone, evil little sister gone, beautiful weather, and a good book.
"Okay, I'll just be here." She wasn't even going to be difficult, she was in THAT good of a mood.
A stronger gust of wind tickled the hair around her shoulder, blowing a shiny, curly tendril into her face. She calmly smoothed it back behind her ear, suddenly in a great mood to listen to some music. Marking her page, she threw her book to the side, swung her legs off the bed, and pattered over to the small, black radio that was resting on her dresser.
The station she had been listening to previously was currently blasting a fast, upbeat song that perfectly matched her mood. She didn't know the lyrics, but the tune was catchy. She cranked the volume all the way up, the music tinkling out her bedroom window and into the autumn sky. The beat was making her excited and happy, her head and toes beginning to bop with the rhythm. And then, when she couldn't hold it in any longer, she threw her arms over her head and started full out dancing.
Since there was no one there to see her, she figured that she should hold nothing back. She bounced around her room, sliding on the hardwood floor with her stocking-feet and shimmying and shaking her hips. She hopped up onto her bed, twisting her legs into shapes and laughing in a carefree way. Then she leapt down from the bed, shaking her head and giggling as her curls bounced around. By the time the chorus came around, she already knew all the words. She screamed them, still dancing and prancing around the room, a grin plastered on her face. She hadn't felt so…young, she guessed, in years.
"Ahem."
Cassidy froze, her chest heaving with the force of her panting breaths. Someone…was…there…? She turned slowly, expecting the worst…and finding it.
"Nice moves, Freckles," Paul smirked, leaning against her door jam and crossing his arms.
Cass gulped, a light blush coloring her cheeks. "Better than any of yours, I bet," her mouth said, though she couldn't exactly remember THINKING those words.
"You're on."
And then he took her by the hand, twirling her around the room and chuckling. Cassidy had never been more charmed.
...
Cassidy stared at her hands, forcing herself to tune out of the conversation at hand. If she had to listen to her Mam bitch and moan ONE MORE TIME in that cheery, fake, perfect voice of hers, she was literally going to spontaneously combust.
"…and if you think a young lady such as yourself should be inviting strange boys into the house when she is ALONE, then you've got another thought coming!"
She slowly roved her eyes up to her mother's matching ones, her jaw set. "You left the fu—you left the door open. Wide open. I was up in my room, how was I supposed to know that he was gonna come in?"
Kendra Farrell smoothed her dress down carefully, tucking her napkin around her thighs and picking up her fork and knife daintily. "You could have told him to leave."
"I could have, except I didn't want him to. So that would be counterproductive, wouldn't it?"
Mam opened her mouth to say something back, but Cecilia interrupted. "I've been elected president of my class, Mam." She grinned, displaying her mouthful of perfect, gleaming white teeth. "It was unanimous."
Mam reached forward, resting her hand gently on top of Cecilia's. "Darling, that's wonderful!" She looked at Cassidy out of the corner of her eye, a grin plastered on her face but disappointment glinting in her eyes. "I got a phone call from your English teacher today. Oh, what was his name?"
She knows all of Cecilia's teacher's names, Cass thought bitterly. "Dickface."
Mam fixed her eldest daughter with a steely eye. "Ah, you're right. DickSON."
Da, who had been quiet this entire time, spoke up now. "Mr. Dickson said that he had to give you detention. Any idea why that would be?"
Cass swallowed. Shit. Here it came. "He was being difficult."
"Oh," her father said, his eyebrows rising in surprise, "HE was being difficult?"
Cassidy looked down at her untouched food, blinking rapidly. Think of a good excuse, her mind urged her, hurry…
"He's an asshole."
Wow. That was great. JUUUUUUST great. Mam and Da are SURE to eat that one right up!
"Watch your mouth, Missy," Mam chirped, spearing a green bean on the end of her fork and raising it to her lips. "And eat your vegetables."
"I'm allergic to green beans," Cass deadpanned. Her only mother forgot the ONE thing that made her swell up like a balloon. What a nice, caring family she had.
"But Cassidy, don't you understand?" Da urged, ignoring the green bean discussion. "Mr. Dickson said that if you keep this up, he's going to drop the behavioural aspect of your grade. He says your work is phenomenal, but you just lack the…er…initiative to succeed."
"Da…I'm top my class," Cass said with exasperation layered in her voice. "Why can't that be good enough for you?"
"You can always push yourself farther," Mam cut in. "Look at Cecilia—is she not top of her class? And captain of the girls' volleyball team? And now president of her class? And look at her," she added, throwing Cecilia a warm smile, "she's so beautiful to top it all off!"
Cassidy felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry, she chanted to herself. Her da looked down at his steak, which he was in the process of cutting. A line formed between his eyebrows, as though he were angry about something. But, as usual, he didn't say anything; he was a quiet man by nature.
"Why can't you be more like your sister?" Mam asked, her lips pressing together in a tight line. Beside her, Cecilia was practically glowing with her perfection.
"You want me to be like her?" Cass asked in a dangerously low voice. "Fine, then. You can have TWO lying, bitchy, whore daughters." And with that, she stood up, knocking her napkin off her lap and making Da look up in concerned surprise.
"Cassidy—" her mother began, but she was cut off.
"Fuck you."
And with that, she marched out the door, slamming it with a house-shaking rattle.
... Meanwhile ...
"What the fuck are you doing?"
Alley groaned inwardly, looking up from the book she was reading. She had hoped to have a pleasant day today, just lying lazily on her bed and getting lost in the world of fiction. But she should have known better; no one could ever relax in her house for too long. She put her book down next to her and swung her legs over the side of the bed until she was sitting upright, staring straight into the eyes of her step-brother, Garrett. He was leaning against the door frame, staring at her with a strange expression on her face.
"I'm reading," Alley said, deadpan. She was sitting tensely, ready to bolt if needed.
Garrett was Royce's son, yes, but he wasn't abusive—well, at least to her. He seemed to be following in his father's footsteps though. He dropped out of school, drank and gambled and he liked to beat up people for fun. Alley would never forgive him for jumping John—hell, she almost attacked him when she found out. But Garrett was a big guy, standing at 6'2 and enough strength to kill with his bare hands. He looked like your typical Irish 23 year-old with red hair, green eyes and freckles. He may have looked innocent but he could be a mean son of a bitch.
"What do you want, Garrett?" she asked when he remained silent.
"I just came to warn you."
"Warn me?" Alley repeated, feeling her stomach tighten in dread. This could only mean thing now. Garrett usually came to 'warn' her when Royce was on the warpath. But it wasn't because he cared for her or because he harboured any feelings towards her—it was mostly because he enjoyed seeing her squirm; as long as it wasn't him incurring the wrath.
"Yeah," Garrett replied, a slow and evil smile spreading across his face. "Turns out the school principal called. Something about a Mr. Dickson…."
Fuck! Shit! Fuck! AHHHHH!
Alley felt the dread in her stomach explode and she stood, heading for the door. She was determined to make it out of the house before Royce could come up and get her. As she passed by Garrett, he chuckled at her and she growled at him. Slowly, she walked down the narrow upstairs hallway, trying not to make any kind of noise. Once she had gotten down the carpeted stairs successfully, she made her move for the front door. She was nearly there when she heard a noise behind her and being her stupid, curious self, she turned.
No one was there.
The curtains from the window rustled slightly and she figured the wind must have knocked one of her mother's knickknacks from the shelf. But when she took a step forward to look, she found nothing on the floor. Hearing a weird clinking noise now, she walked further into the house to investigate. When she walked into the kitchen, she felt a weird mix of relief and half-shock at what she was looking at. She watched as her mother, Mary stood at the kitchen counter, slowly stirring something in a plastic green bowl. She looked tired and pale and her once vibrant green eyes looked dull and lifeless. Her dark hair hung in clumps around her face and she wore nothing but a tattered bathrobe and grey slippers. Alley always felt sad when she looked at her. Once, her mother was a beautiful woman, happy and full of life. Of course that was when Alley's father was around and they had a normal, apple pie life.
"Mom?" she asked, taking a step-forward. "What are you doing?"
"What?" Mary looked at her tiredly as if not fully understanding what was going on around her. She was on countless medications and drank alcohol like it was going out of style. She stopped stirring and just stood there; staring.
Alley sighed. "Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Oh—" Mary looked around like she was trying to remember. "I was just—making something for your father."
"My father?" Alley felt her jaw clench in anger. She hated when Royce was referred to as her father. She did not want to be linked to the man in any way. "He is not my father!"
Mary didn't answer. She picked up the wooden spoon and began stirring again. Alley was about to say something else when the backdoor opened and Royce walked in. He slammed the door loud enough to rattle the glass. Alley noticed that he held a long wooden board in his hand and it jump started her heart; she could only imagine what he was planning on doing with that.
"I'm going to kill you!" he screamed, spit flying from his mouth like a rabid dog's. His face was reddened with anger and he took a step forward.
Alley didn't say anything, her feet took charge of her and she turned suddenly, running towards the front door. She was sure Royce would catch her like he always did but he stumbled and almost fell, giving her the time she needed. Hurriedly, she pulled open the front door and ran out, slamming it behind her. For a few moments, she leaned against it, trying to catch her breath. She was thanking God that she made it out the door this time before Royce could grab her. Of course, when she came back home, he'd probably attack her then but she figured that postponing was better than nothing. Sighing, she walked down her driveway and turned onto the sidewalk, stopping when she saw Cassidy coming out of house.
"Hey Cass!" she called and ran to meet her. She skidded to a stop in front of her friend, almost crashing into the mailbox that stood at the edge of the grass. "What's going on?"
Cass looked up, still fuming from her recent dinner-scene. "Ah, Alley. I was just..." And then
an idea started forming in her head. Alley hadn't met little Georgie Harrison yet, had she? "I
was just goin' for a little visit with my friend George. Care to join me?"
"George?" Alley said, her head cocking to the side as she tried to remember if she knew a
George or not. After a few seconds, she decided that she didn't. "I don't reckon I know him.
But uh- yeah! I'll go anywhere at this point. Anywhere but home, anyway."
Cass nodded. "I know that one." She started walking down the street, her feet already
knowing where she was headed. "Mam and Da found out about detention. Apparently, Ole
Dickface decided to give them a call."
"No kidding," Alley said with a somewhat bitter chuckle. "Why do you think Royce was
coming after me with a 2-by-four?"
Cassidy gave her an alarmed look. "Shit. I just got the old 'Why can't you be more like your
sister'?"
"Yeah well- Royce likes to run thing differently. Relax," she said when she saw Cass'
expression. She tried her best to give her a reassuring one. "He didn't get a chance, I ran out of
the door."
Cassidy got onto the bus in silence, paying her and Alley's fee without even thinking about it.
Sure, she hated her family. But at least Alley's family gave her ATTENTION. At least they
weren't perfect, and they didn't expect her to be every single second of the day.
"Thanks Cass," Alley said with an amused smile as she sat down next to Cass on the bus.
"Although I'm not poor."
"I know, I know." Cassidy took a deep breath, leaning against the back of her seat. Something
was really bothering her, something that had never really bothered her before. When her mam
was listing all the great things Cecilia was that she was NOT, she had mentioned that her sister
was beautiful. Which was the God's honest truth, but the ways she said it...? "Alley, can I ask
you a question?"
Alley was looking out of the bus window, watching the sights go by. She always loved riding
the bus and staring out the window as it drove along. She would think about things or just let
her mind wander. She was half-lost in thought when she heard Cass' voice. "Huh, what? Oh,"
she said, finally understanding what she heard. "Yeah, sure." She turned away from the
window, leaned against the seat and waited.
"Am I..." Cass took a deep breath, before for the first time in a long time, she was embarrassed
to say something. "Am I...pretty?" She blushed, immediately looking away from Alley and
out the window.
"What?" was all that Alley could say. She had never heard a more random question in her
entire life. "Cass- you're-" It was embarrassing to talk about things like this with your best
friend and she grimaced, trying to get the words out in a way that wouldn't sound weird. "Cass,
you're beautiful. Look in the fuckin' mirror!" She chuckled. "Or better yet, look at the ugly
sack of shit sitting next to you!"
Cassidy grimaced. "Aww, shut up. You're pretty and you know it." She looked down at her
hands, clasping them in her lap. "If...if I really am-you know-pretty and stuff, why don't the
boys like me like they like you?" And by boys, it was PRETTY obvious exactly who she met.
But she wasn't gonna say SHIT out loud, just in case it got back to Paul.
Alley shook her head and grinned. "First of all- what, are you fucking blind? Since when do
boys come after me? Ronnie Hartman who pretty much wanted to rape me doesn't count!
And-" she leaned toward Cass, making sure her voice was low, "Paul likes you. Deal with it!"
Cassidy gulped, shaking her head. "You don't understand. I mean, it's not like you and John.
You two are passionate, hands on people. I'm...he's...it's just different, okay?" She scrunched
up her face, going back to the first part of what Alley said. "And don't even GIVE me that shit.
How about John Lennon, aka one of the hottest boys we know?"
"Excuse me?" Alley said, gasping loudly and holding her hand over her heart. "Did you just
call John Lennon hot?" She turned to look out the window and gasped again in fake shock. "LOOK! PIGS ARE FLYING! OH MY GOD" She laughed loudly at the people who were giving her dirty looks and stuck her tongue out at them. Then she suddenly turned serious. "Passionate and hands on? I don't know- maybe. We didn't do anything other than kiss. And it's not like we'll ever be together, you know? We aren't relationship-type people. I'm sure he still sees other girls- or- sleeps with them at least. It doesn't matter. What does matter, missy, is that you and Paul LOVE each other but just won't do anything!"
Cassidy rolled her eyes. "Pig are not flying, those are just pigeons. I'm not going to deny the
obvious...then again, there isn't a whole lot of stock here to choose from, so he's got that
advantage." She waved her hands in front of her face, as though to clear the board. "But
anyways, I don't love Paul. I've barely known if more than three weeks!"
"Ever heard of love at first sight?" Alley said, giving her friend a smack on the arm. She
sighed, not being able to hide the smile that crept on her face when she thought of John.
Clearing her throat, she made her expression somewhat serious. "You like Paul," she said
bluntly. "And the sooner you both admit it, the sooner you can move on with your romance!"
Cassidy frowned, not letting her get away with this one. "You aren't me, so how would YOU
know if I liked him? And you're not him, either, so how would you know that he liked me?"
The bus rolled to a start, and Cassidy stood up, her features hard. "C'mon, George lives this
way."
"Oh please!" Alley said, following Cassidy off the bus and down the narrow road. She
stretched and nearly tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. "Cass, listen to me, will ya?" she
said, carefully watching where she stepped this time. "It's not rocket science and you don't
have to be a goddamn psychic to see it. You two are meant for each other. So get over it,
already!"
Cassidy had nothing more to say on the subject, other than, "You don't know." She walked
down the sidewalk in silence, twisting her hands together. She wasn't in love with Paul, she
told herself. That was COMPLETELY ridiculous. She stopped outside a tall brick building,
recognizing it though only having gone there a few times.
"Whatever," Alley said under her breath, stopping to take in the building in front of her. She
never really had reason to come by this part of town so there were no familiar surroundings.
She turned to Cassidy and said, "So- who's this George fella?"
"George Harrison," Cass said as she walked up to the door. "He's in love with my sister.
Needless to say, we talk a lot." She reached forward, rapping the door sharply with her
knuckles. Within seconds, the door was pulled open by a skinny boy, no more than a few
inches taller than Cassidy. He had thick, dark hair and a full brow. "George!" Cass exclaimed
with a smile.
Alley smiled when she saw this George characters. He was tall (although most people were to
her) and lanky with the most beautiful head of hair she had ever seen- even the most thickest
eye-brows she'd ever seen. Smiling, she stuck out her hand toward him. "Hi. Alley."
George glanced at Cassidy first, then at Alley. "Er..." He wasn't exactly used to girls coming
to his house to WILLINGLY meet him. "Hi. I'm George..." He blushed and looked down,
wondering why the hell Cass was here.
Cassidy grinned from ear to ear, elbowing Alley. "Isn't he just the cutest thing?"
"Yeah!" Alley said, chuckling at George's shyness and the way he was blushing. "But don't
give the kid such a hard time!"
George looked up, glad that for ONCE, someone was defending him. "Yeah, Cassidy. Leave
me alone." He grinned that adorable, crooked smile, making Cass practically coo.
"Oh, you like it and we both know it. Can you come out?"
"Yeah, George, can you come out?" Alley echoed, grinning at him. She took a liking to him
immediately. She felt like he was the little brother type and she had the urge to ruffle his hair
and squeeze him. He was so adorable!
George glanced behind him, then back at the two girls. He couldn't believe his luck...two
pretty, older girls wanted HIM to go out with them. He grinned shyly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure
that'll be alright."
Cass clapped her hands in excitement. "YAY! For once, we'll be with each other NOT
because of Cecilia."
"George," Alley said, putting her hand on her hips and staring up at him. "Why in hell do you
like the bitch?" She turned to Cass and quickly added, "No offense."
George shrugged, turning around and easing the door shut. Then they started walking in the
direction of the park. "I dunno. She's beautiful...and so smart...and-"
Cassidy cut him off, a disgruntled look on her face. "Please, stop. I don't need to hear this all
over again."
"Yeah, seriously, George," Alley agreed, a grimace of her own forming on her face."Although-
- I bet Cass would probably disgust you with her love for Paul talk."
George stifled his snicker with his palm, raising his eyebrows at her. "'Love for Paul'? As
in...McCartney? I bet he'd LOVE to hear that."
Cassidy cast him an alarmed look. "No, George, seriously I don't. Alley just thinks she's
knows everythin'."
"I do know everything," Alley replied, a total look of seriousness on her face. She spoke to
George, a smile appearing on her face as she did. "Really, George- Paul would actually LOVE
to hear that. Seeing as he feels the same way!"
George chuckled with his already deep voice. However, he knew that he could never tell
Cassidy OR this new Alley person how Paul really felt for Cass. He would be dead. D-E-A-
D. "Ahh, come on now. They're just friends." Cassidy pointed at Alley triumphantly.
"HA! There ya go. George has spoken, and now it is final."
"Or- George could be covering for Paul," Alley counted, smirking and shaking her head a
little. "You know how friends are!" Alley grimaced inside, realizing how hypocritical that
sounded. But she still had guilt over kissing Paul and repeatedly trying to get her point across
about them loving each other was her subconscious way of relieving it.
"Yeah, I do," Cassidy said, shooting Alley a look. "They're stupid and think they know
everything about you when they don't." Then a sickening thought occurred to her. What if she
were Cecilia. Or-worse-what if Cecilia felt the way that Cassidy did about Paul? She would
do something about, there was no question in Cass's mind. George glanced over at Alley,
wondering how she knew so much without really even knowing it. He didn't say anything,
merely dropping his gaze to his feet and trying not to make eye contact with either of the girls
walking on either side of him.
"Yeah well..." Alley said, shrugging and kicking at a stick on the road. She sighed, thinking
about her feelings towards John. She may have been able to make fun of Cass and Paul and
how much they loved each other but- she felt the exact same way towards John. There was
definitely something there and the part that killed her inside was that she knew they would
never have a true relationship. They both weren't those type of people- as much as she kind of
wanted to be. She sighed again, doing what she usually did and buried her problems deep
within her, ignoring them.
"Would you still be friends with me if I only spoke with dolphin sounds?" Cassidy asked
suddenly, cocking her head and looking at both of her friends.
"Yes," George answered without thinking. "But it might be a little hard to have those intense
conversations."
Alley looked up, a quizzical expression on her face. She couldn't help but burst into laughter.
"Where in hell did that come from?"
"I want to know how much you REALLY like me. So?" she urged, ignoring her friend's
laughter.
"Well," Alley said, pretending to think deeply about it. She blew out a breath finally and
nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Just don't annoy me with the dolphin squeaks too much."
Cass nodded. "That's understandable, I guess."
It was quiet for a second, and then George spoke up. "Would you still be friends with me if I
married Marilyn Bent?"
"No," Cass said, completely serious.
"Fuck no, Georgie!"
"Just wondering!"
"Why?" Alley asked, her nose crinkling in disgust. "She's a slutty bitch!" She raised her eye-
brows in an attempt to look tough. "We could kick her ass, right Cass,?" she said, elbowing
her friend.
Cassidy suddenly remembered when Marilyn Bent kicked the shit out of her, and she
subconsciously reached up to touch her still bruised eye. She covered it every day with liberal
amounts of makeup, and so far she had managed to sneak by Alley.
"Right..."
George knew. George knew ALL about what that evil bitch did to his Cassidy. He had heard someone talking about it in his History class, and from what he heard, it was pretty bad.
"What?" Alley said, picking up the looks on both Cassidy and George's faces. She saw the shift
in expression and mood in Cassidy when Marilyn Bent was mentioned. "There's something I
don't know about." It was a statement, not a question.
Cass looked down. "I knew you would get mad." George didn't say anything, feeling that it
wasn't his place to say.
"Get mad about what?" Alley asked, trying to keep her voice even but her tone betraying her.
She hesitated, looking anywhere but at Alley. "Remember how Marilyn was...er...mad at me?"
"Yeah," Alley said. She felt nervous tension fill her, fearing the way this was going.
"She... " Cassidy didn't quite know how to say it without making it sound worse than it really
was. She looked to George for help.
"She beat Cassidy up after school one day."
"Wh-wha-?" Alley tried to say, her mouth hanging open in shock. She felt anger grip her
tightly inside and she had to restrain herself from lashing out. "What the fuck, Cass? Why
didn't you say anything? I would have ripped her a new one. Several!"
Cassidy didn't look at her. "Two wrongs don't make a right," she said quietly.
"Who gives a fuck!" Alley said, balling her hands into fists so tightly they turned white. "At least she'd learn her lesson and not mess with you!"
Cass shook her head slowly. "Please...just stop. It's over now."
"I could still kick her ass," Alley said, choosing not to hear her.
"You could, but that's not the point." She sighed, looking at George. "Do you SEE what I have to put up with?"
Alley let out a breath, forcing her anger to drain away. She gave Cass a look. "Now what's
that's supposed to mean?"
George looked over at her, answering for Cass. "You're difficult."
"How am I difficult?" Alley asked, throwing her arms up in the air in exasperation. "All
because I wanna kick the ass of the bitch that beat up my friend?"
"Yes," Cass and George said at the same time.
"Well you guys suck!" Alley said, crossing her arms and falling back in step with them. She
looked ahead and walked in silence.
Cass snorted, elbowing George and grinning. "Someone's moody."
"Ahh go fuck each other!" Alley mumbled at them.
"Gladly," Cassidy replied swiftly, then tackled George to the ground. He was bright red, trying
not to touch any part of her, but she wrapped her arms and legs around his skinny little body
and giggled like crazy.
"Gerrof me!" he gasped, only making Cass laugh harder.
Alley couldn't help it, she turned in time to see Cass tackle George and the truly frightened
expression on his face made her burst into laughter. She felt sorry for George, who looked like
he was about to explode like a bright red cherry tomato.
"Come on you two, break it up!" she said and helped pull both of them to their feet. George
looked like a scared rabbit and Cassidy was smiling triumphantly. Alley rolled her eyes and said, "Let's go," and the three walked the rest of the way to the park, laughing and goofing around like three old friends.
...
The night was dark and a little bit chilly but the stars were brighter than anything John and Paul had ever seen before. Coming up to the top of the hill in the park was something John always did- another place he came to be alone and think. If it was during the day, he'd sit at the very top and watch the people on the street below going about their busy lives. And at nighttime, he would lay back on the cool grass and watch the stars as they glittered and gleamed in the pitch black night sky. It was calming and another escape from the toils of everyday life. Sometimes Paul would come with him and they'd lie there together, smoking and talking about music, their dreams or whatever came to mind.
They were there now, watching the stars in the clear night sky and passing their last cigarette back and forth. All track of time had been lost and neither of them felt like moving or going any other place. This was one of those moments that you don't want to end; that you would keep going forever if you could. It was calm and peaceful and for a rare moment, it felt like all the troubles of life drifted away. It was only John, Paul and the gleaming stars; glittering like their future spread in front of them.
Paul pointed the burning ember of his cigarette at the stars, smiling faintly. "Wonder how
many of them are up there," he thought aloud. "Wonder if we'll ever know."
"Maybe," John said, grabbing the cigarette from his friend and taking a thoughtful drag, pausing to blow out the smoke before handing it back. "One day. If we ever make it up there."
Paul turned his head slightly, looking at his friend out of the corner of his eye. "I will, I dunno about you, mate." He chuckled, letting John know that he was only kidding. Then he looked back up at the sky, sighing. "Isn't it funny to think that one day, we could be looking up at these same exact stars, but sitting on the opposite side of the world. Just...imagine."
"Imagine," John said, thinking about what Paul just said. He always imagined getting out of this place, going somewhere else- living like someone else. "Paul," he said suddenly, still looking up at the sky. "Do you ever think of dying?"
Paul's eyes went out of focus as he considered this. Did he ever think of dying? Sure, he thought about it. But it wasn't something that was constantly nagging at him. "Not really. I've thought about it before, but I think...I think death, and aging and all of that, I think it's something to look forward to. I can't wait to be eighty years old, surrounded by my grandchildren and telling them stories about the glory days." He smiled, elated with the thought. He loved kids, and he knew that one day he wanted some of his own. Not any time soon, of course, but still. "I hope that I'm nice and ripe when it's my time."
"Yeah," John said; a wistful smile on his face. He was glad it was nighttime and Paul couldn't see his face. His feelings were betraying him at that moment. Throughout his entire life, he had this feeling in his gut- a feeling that he couldn't get rid of. And it wasn't your run of the mill normal paranoid thought- he felt it in his bones. "I don't think I'll make it that far."
Paul frowned deeply, this news disturbing him greatly. "What the fuck are you talking about, John?"
"I'm not going to be nice and ripe," John said, using what Paul had just said. He shrugged, sounding non-chalant as usual. If he didn't control himself, he might lash out or even cry. "I'm not going to be an old man. I won't make it past 40. I just know it."
Paul sat up suddenly, as though John had just said that he planned on killing himself or something. "John, mate, you can't think like that!" He ran a hand quickly through his hair, this whole thing making him uneasy. "What about your wife? And kids? What about THEIR kids? Don't you wanna live to see your grandchildren?"
"Of course," John said seriously. He wanted to live and die an old man in his rocking chair so bad. But there was something inside of him- more than just a silly fear- that told him that he was going to die young. He was learning not to fight it anymore and to just except it. It made life easier when you didn't have to worry. "It's not like I'm going to fucking pop myself off, Macca! It's just-" He shrugged, struggling to think of the right way to put it. "I just know it. I feel it."
Paul wouldn't stand for this. "Well, I won't let it happen. I'll stalk you day and night on the fortieth year of your life, and if ANYTHING happens to you...no. It won't. I. Re. Fuse."
John chuckled at this but inside he felt a pang of happiness. It was nice to know that you had someone that really cared about you. Grinning he turned to his friend, "What if I have a heart attack, Paulie? You gonna stalk my organs too?"
"I'll monitor your diet," he said at once, determined for some odd reason that John NOT die at 40. "No bacon. Sorry."
"And what if I have some weird disease and my body just stops working?"
Paul's mouth hung open as he thought about this. "Then...I...will...uhhhhh-OHHH! WAIT! I bet in the future, they're gonna have machines that can keep you alive even when you're basically dead. So even if your body stops working, I'll hook you up to that machine and there ya go. Life."
"Oh gee thanks," John said sarcastically. "Why don't you just stuff me and keep me in your house?"
"I could do that," Paul reasoned, cocking his head to the side. "I bet you'd make an excellent mantle piece." In his mind's eye, be pictured his future home (the same one he always had: HUGE, open and breezy, kids running all over the place, a giant stone fireplace) and thought about stuffed-John, lying on his side across the mantle, head in his palm and striking a sexy pose.
"Oh I would, huh?" John asked, propping himself up on his elbow and raising an eye-brow at his friend. "You do know my ghost will haunt you every fucking day right?"
"Delightful," Paul chirped, leaning back onto the grass and feeling as though he'd just made a deal. Once again he thought about the family he wanted to have. His children, he knew, would all be beautiful and smart and not spoiled at all. And then he tried to picture his wife. Who would she be? What would she do? For some reason, he just couldn't put a face to the image.
"You ever think about our future, Macca?" John asked, returning to his previous position of looking up at the stars. "Our future, I mean."
Paul nodded slowly. "Yeah...all the time. All I can ever see myself doing is music. With you,
of course. Can you imagine us? One day, we'll be out of smelly old Liverpool. We'll be...I dunno...in the States! London! Paris!"
"Canada, even!" John said, jumping on Paul's train of thought. He let his mind wander now into one of the many fantasies he created about being famous and creating music that would matter to people. "We will be famous, Paulie! People will be screaming our names and buying our records!" He turned to Paul, a grin spread wide on his face. "Girls will be lining up to fuck us!"
Paul blushed at this last part, and proceeded to laugh nervously. Wow. Could he TRY to make it more obvious that he was a virgin? "Yeah, that's gonna be great." He gulped, thinking about it all. He would love it, and he knew that. Even when John got sick and tired of it (as he did everything) Paul would always love it.
"Yeah," John echoed, letting his breath out slowly as he watched the stars above him. There were so many- they looked so close but yet they were so far away. These stars had been around for thousands if not millions of years. The people from a hundred years ago and the people from today looked at the exact same stars- perhaps even feeling the exact same way. That's how John wanted his life and his music to be remembered. A hundred years after he was gone and his life was all said and done, he wanted to still be remembered.
While John was lost in his thoughts, Paul also stared up at the stars. He knew deep, deep down that music was what was going to carry him through life. He didn't expect to be huge, but it would sure as hell be fun if he DID get there. "John?" he asked quietly, one thing still hanging on the edges of his thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"What about...what about other people?"
"What do you mean?" John asked, his eye-brows raising quizzically. "What other people?"
Paul swallowed roughly, not exactly knowing how to go about asking this question. "Don't you ever think about...you know...the people we're gonna be leaving behind?"
"I don't got much family," John said in way of an answer.
"That's not what I mean." Paul cast his eyes down, focusing on his upraised knees. He moved his fingers in patterns on his thighs, his pale fingers glowing in the moonlight.
"Oh," John said finally, the realization dawning on him. He didn't turn to look at Paul but he could see his friend's nervousness from the corner of his eye. "The birds?"
He didn't look at the other boy. He knew that what he would see there was disappointment and reproachfulness. "I...you're right about Cassidy, you know. Dead on."
"I know," John replied, fighting the smile that was pulling at the corner of his mouth.
"Shut up."
John chuckled. "You brought it up, mate."
"You could have made me feel better by saying something like 'it wasn't obvious or
anything'." He shot a glare at his friend.
"Oh, sorry," John said, totally dead-pan. "It doesn't matter, Paulie. Like I said—oh, a million
fucking times—you like her and she likes you! Now make like goddamn bunny rabbits and fuck already!"
Paul gave him a serious look. "Don't fucking talk about her like that. And I think you need to take your own advice, mate."
"You want me to fuck Alley?"
Paul cast him a disgruntled look. "Uhh...well, I can tell that's what YOU want. And you've done that to just about every single other girl you've met in the past two years."
John felt a sharp pang inside of him at that remark. "What the fuck that's supposed to mean?"
"That means that you're a slut. Correction: you're a slut for just about every girl EXCEPT the one you actually like."
"Fuck off, Macca, you don't know anything!"
Paul smiled a smile that insinuated that yes, he DID know everything. "Okay."
"What?" John asked, getting agitated.
"Nothing."
"I hate you sometimes."
Paul grinned widely, showing all his teeth. "Sometimes being the key word." And then hereturned to the old topic, the one he actually WANTED to discuss. "So you're telling me you won't miss them?"
John didn't reply. The question stumped him and he thought about it as he lost himself in the stars. Would he really miss Alley? A question that he always asked himself was if he was really capable of love. Was he capable of letting someone in and opening himself up? It always seemed that people left him and didn't give him a chance to love them. If you didn't have love attaching you to someone then you wouldn't get hurt when they left you or when you left them. But Alley- she was so fucking different! She was constantly there- always in his mind; forcing him to feel something. So, would he miss her? Of course. It would just be another person he would lose in his life. But could he ever admit it? Never.
Paul thought about his own question when John didn't answer. He knew what John
considered himself as; cold, cynical, and incapable of human feeling. It was so much the label society had given him at such an early age, if only because of things that were totally out of his control. But having been friends with him, and having written songs with him, Paul knew this wasn't true. He loved. He cared with a deep passion. Whether he realized it or not, he did.
But now the question that was on Paul's mind was this-did he? Sure, he was known as a ladies' man, the boy that always got the girl. But that wasn't true. In fact, he was quite the opposite. Because it's not too fun to be in love with a girl who thinks you're scum.
He looked up at the same time John did, meeting his gaze. A silent stream of mutual understanding flowed between them, and for ONCE, words just wouldn't work. Cassidy and Alley were special, Paul knew this. He also knew that he and John would probably leave them in the end, as much as it would hurt all four of them. The whole thing was cliché and fifth grade and totally not his style, but he felt that pang in his chest that told him all he need to know. THE MOST important thing out all of this. The implied question that neither he nor John wanted to answer aloud. Sure, they were going to leave the girls one day, and sure, they were going to act like they were insignificant birds. But the truth? They would always miss them.
Forever.
...
Catie AN: Personally, I think it's the hottest, most sexiest, rip-his-clothes-off-with-my-teeth thing when a guy likes kids and plays with them and is all sweet and stuff. Cough like Paul cough.
Addie AN: Yeah, but it's so much better when the guy is a deep thinker and just so- sexy. You know, sexy by just standing there. Oh like- *COUGH* John the-sexiest-man-ever- Lennon *COUGH*
Catie AN: Jesus Christ, Addie, can you keep your dick in your pants for ONE SECOND? My. God. The things I put up with. They don't call ya Horsedick for nothin', eh?
Addie AN: What can I say? John just brings it out in me. Or technically brings it up.
Catie AN: HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAA ew.
Addie AN: Hey, you laughed you douche nozzle. (I now love that word).
Catie AN: Shut up, you stupid cuntmuncher. CUMGUZZLER!
Addie AN: You are retarded aren't you?
Catie AN: Assbiscket.
Addie AN: Assbiscket? Shit, what are you 14? Oh wait...
Catie AN: SHUT UP, YOU INSPIRATION FOR DOUCHEFACE! (Yes, it's true. The 14 year old was the one who came up with both Doucheface and his name)
Addie AN: WHAT? You make no fucking sense.
Catie AN: I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to YOU! SUCK ON THAT ONE, DICKBRAIN!
Addie AN: HA! I'm not even going to touch that one. I'm too MATURE!
Catie AN: Sure you are, dickbrain.
Addie AN: Oh go play with your dolls! I'm out, people, just review will ya!
Catie AN: THEY'RE STAR WARS ACTION FIGURES, NOT DOLLS! And even if they WERE dolls, I don't take orders from dickbrains like Addie. REVIEW, GUYS!
Addie AN: OH JUST SHUT-UP! Ok seriously, review! 8^)