Chapter 5
Elliott sits down and starts peeling an orange. "So tell me abotu this Michael kid," She said. "I heard his parents are loaded." I sit down across from her. Kirsten is in line buying lunch. I never bring. I always have a shift at the diner after school for a little hwile unless I have something else planned. But I dropped softball last year when I had other interests and spent my spare time in a rickity old van and in the booth in the corner of the diner.
I shrug. "He's really nice." I said. "He was reading my favorite book at the diner Saturday. And we started talking about it. And when we went to that party that night he spilled a beer on me. And we talked the whole time."
She rolled her eyes. "Is he another cheesy guy or was it a nervous mistake?" She asked.
"What?" I ask. Kirsten comes over with a slice of the school's nasty pizza.
"The whole spilling a beer on you thing." She said. "Or was he drunk?"
"No," I said smiling. "We walked into each other."
Kirsten looked at me opening her bottled water. "Is this about your big date?" She asked.
"It's not a date." I said. "We're just hanging out as friends."
"Oh yeah," Elliott said smiling. Ripping out a wedge of her orang and popping it into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed. "It's definatly as date, Core."
The week went by quickly. I talked ot Michael a lot on the phone. We called and talked ot eahc other. He usually called me. My mother was happy to hear me on the phone late at night. Not sending my father into my room to yell at me like he would to Taylor and her boyfriend. Every night when I had that dream though I forgot about Michael. I always did. And kept my back ot my window. The sound always made it's way through.
When I saw Michael at school we'd smile and say hello to each other. We talked in school too. But never for long because it was usually after school when I had to rush to the diner. My mother always told me I could have stayed and hung out with Michael but I didn't want to blow them off. They were always busy after school. Kids came in and hung out.
Elliott kept reminding me it was really a date. Askign me what I was oging to wear. I was going ot wear whatever I did at work. I hoped I didnt' spill anything on myself or have someone walk into me holding something that would stain or make me smell.
I like Michael a lot. On Thursday he came into the diner. And when I was on my break I'd sit with him and we could talk. Taylor would walk by carrying my table's food. That meant my break was over long before now.
Taylor was happy too. She thought Michael was cute. I know out of every boy I ever dated that she met she liked Steven best. He was funny and she would always feel comfortable going over and tlaking ot him on her break. Taylor's a year younger than me. And they got together well. They listened to the same music. She helped him try to expose me to that music. And he made me mixtapes all the time and him and Taylor were happy with the progress I was making.
Then I went back to listening to the radio.
She never spoke or acknowleded Michael. She looked at him and walked by quickly. I figured nothing would be like it was with Steven. With Friday planned and knowing I was starting to like Michael everything was easier. I could think about Steven Green and it would hurt less. I couldn't touch the box of the things he had left in my life in the attic and in my closet. There were thre. The smaller one in my closet on the farthest edge of the shelf above my clothes.
But I couldn't tihnk his name. And the pangs in my chest wouldn't be so sharp. They'd be like someone beating me on the inside. Hittign my sharply in the chest every time I thought those two words that haunted me and would for the rest of my life.
When Friday came I didn't have to go to the diner right away. So Michael and I sat outside of the school talking. I was smiling and talking to him. I was finally happy. The kind that would hopefully last. But somehow it didn't. I was looking over suddenly seeing a bright blue shirt. It caught my eye because it was like neon.
Our eyes met. And I froze. Time did. Michael was talking. I wasn't paying attention. He forced a smile. And I forced myself to look away. There was a sharp pain in my chest that didn't go away.
I was sort of off for the rest of the conversation. But Michael didn't notice. When I finally had to go to work he hugged me. And I hugged him back. Feeling someone hugging me was so strange. I didn't know how long it had been sing someone did. I pinpointed it later as the boy in the neon blue shirt.
But for them that small awkward squeeze squeezed out the pain in my chest. I smiled weakly at Michael. "See you later." I said.
He msiled back at me. And watched me walk away to my little yellow car. And I drove to the diner. My mind only registering one color. Neon blue.