A/N: HOLY GOD, I'M UPDATING!!! After 10 months of having a one-page chapter sitting in my computer, I was suddenly whacked on the head with the wiffle bat of inspiration and this whole thing took only an hour total to type out. I'm finally keeping my promise to leave no fic unfinished on my page... of course, this thing isn't finished yet, but that's okay. I'm working on it again, and will continue to work on it, and I will not leave it unattended for 10 months ever again, promise!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! You should just be happy I'm writing again!

Evil Overlord List, Items 46-59

"Himizu, you're really weird," Ryouko told her unnecessarily.

"I know," she replied, also unnecessarily. "Item 46… If an advisor says to me 'My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?' I will reply 'This.' and kill the advisor."

Hiei is seen talking, then his advisor, Kaito, comes up to him and says, "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?"

Hiei looked thoughtful. "Well, he could raise an army, start a mass revolution, grind our production to a halt, cut off all the supplies to our castle, then storm it and overpower us and kill me and destroy my every dream of ruling this country as an Evil Overlord must. What can he do indeed?"

Kaito looked relieved that Hiei hadn't gone for the gun.

"Item 47… If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature."

A shot of chibi Yusuke attempting to raise an army by walking around carrying a badly drawn portrait of Hiei who has been stabbed, shot, and badly beaten up. Hiei laughs at this, and ignores him. Time passes, and normal Yusuke comes with an army and raids the castle, making Evil Overlord Hiei very angry. Very angry indeed.

"Item 48… I will treat any beast that I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge."

Shots of Hiei petting Helen kindly and feeding her all the fangirl bitches she wants. Later, Helen escapes. About 10 minutes later, she goes after Hiei and starts chasing him. Ryouko looked at Himizu.

"What the hell?"

"My dear Ryouko, just look at this one word right there."

"Immediately?"

"You see? A loophole."

"…" -.- "Fix this!!!"

"Yes ma'am! Sheesh…" Himizu used her Authoress powers to send Helen back to her cage about three seconds before she would have doused Hiei in steak sauce and eaten him. In one bite. Mwa ha ha.

"And don't do it again!" Ryouko exclaimed. "Honestly, showing the deadly loophole to that monster was not a good idea!"

"Oh hush, no one died."

"Whatever… Item 49… If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact that can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want Ad in the local paper."

Shots of Hiei sending his troops out to seize the Orb of Baast while he quietly snuck off to steal the Shadow Sword. Most unfortunately for him, it is discovered that Ryouko had stolen it and gone off to attack Himizu, probably because she was being stupid again, maybe even stupid enough to insult Hiei in Ryouko's presence. Count on Himizu to do something dumb like that…

After Himizu had beaten Ryouko off with her oversized croquet mallet, she grabbed the script again and scanned it quickly to figure out where she was. "Um… Item 50! My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh PowerBooks."

Shots showing Yusuke and Kuwabara using the most basic hacking system, invented specifically for intellectually challenged fools like them, to hack into Hiei's computer system. Most unluckily for them, Hiei had not yet figured out how to load his world domination plans onto his computer, so they were back to square one.

"Item 51… If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position."

Prison guard Kurama walked up to Evil Overlord Hiei and began to express concern over the conditions of the beautiful Princess Botan's cell. Hiei sent him off to become his lieutenant. Hence, Kurama directing a horde of troops as they attacked the latest group of rebels intent on overthrowing Evil Overlord Hiei.

"Item 52… I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about."

A "board-certified architect" who looked suspiciously like Youko directed his assistants who looked suspiciously like Yusuke and Kuwabara to use a jackhammer to drill through the ceiling of the top floor of the castle. As one might expect, they fell to the next floor, then through all the other floors to land on top of Evil Overlord Hiei. Then the "board-certified architect" who looked suspiciously like Youko ran around and stole Evil Overlord Hiei's shiny objects and ran off laughing like a maniac.

"Item 53… If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!" I will say "Oh well" and kill her."

Hiei began to laugh evilly as he took this opportunity to mutilate an effigy of Princess Botan. He then proceeded to mutilate an effigy of Himizu. Then his sword blew up, showing Himizu's displeasure at watching him mutilate an effigy of her. Ryouko laughed insanely at this.

"Item 54…" Himizu snarled after blowing up several inanimate objects nearby. "I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary."

Evil Overlord Hiei shook hands with Elder Toguro and then stabbed him in the back as he walked away.

"Actually… ET deserved that, it's not just because Hiei felt like being contrary…" Himizu noted.

"Who cares!" Ryouko exclaimed. "Item 55… The deformed mutants and oddball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention."

Hiei was about to send Dr. Ichigaki out on an important undercover mission, but then he realized that trolls are rather conspicuous, so he sent the doctor off to do experiments and sent Shishi Wakamaru instead.

"He's still kinda conspicuous though… with blue hair…" Ryouko pointed out. Hiei rolled his eyes and chucked a blonde wig at Shishi. Himizu snickered.

"Item 56… My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice."

Next thing anyone knew, Kuwabara had got hold of a gun and was shooting randomly, hitting the ceiling, the floor, the wall BEHIND him… in short, anywhere but the target that was right in front of him. Everyone dove for cover, until Ryouko pulled out a rife and shot the gun out of the idiot's hand, then everyone tackled him and tied him to a stake and everyone started shooting at him… with paintballs. Bwa ha ha.

Item 57… Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual," Ryouko said.

Hiei pulled out a giant machine that would supposedly clone him so that he would have hundreds of evil little Hiei clones with Jagon eyes, fire powers, mad sword skills, and a desire to destroy things, but would for some reason magically obey the real Hiei and let him rule the world. Without reading the manual, Hiei started pressing random buttons, and in a few moments thousands and chibi Hiei's with green skin and Jagon eyes all over their bodies appeared. The four-inch tall Hieis ran around like nuts, swinging their swords that were the size of needles and stabbing people's ankles. Everyone totally freaked out and started stomping on the little maniacs. Then the scene flickered and everyone realized they were watching a dramatization. Hiei rolled his eyes and crossed out something from a sheet of paper with the heading "Plans to Conquer the World".

"Item 58… If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner."

"Why not? That's fun!" Hiei exclaimed.

"Nut…" Himizu muttered. "And you can't do it because…" She pulled a remote control out of nowhere and hit a button.

They all saw a silent film of Hiei running away as his palace collapsed around him. He paused, pointed his finger in the air and said something dramatic. As he finished and turned to keep running, a boulder from his castle wall fell on top of him and crushed him. Yusuke, Kuwabara, and various other people ran up and started doing victory dances, that suspiciously resembled the chicken dance. (Authoress whacks head on desk… this is what she gets for writing this while on a caffeine binge)

"Ah… excellent point…" Hiei said, twitching slightly.

"Item 59… I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am."

Hiei builds a giant supercomputer. Then he sits down and starts working on various mathematical problems that will help him conquer the world with the fewest resources possible. The computer gives him all the answers much faster than he could have ever gotten them himself. Although he seemed to develop a grudging respect for the computer, this changed when the computer started gloating about its superior intelligence. Then Hiei was forced to kill it with the amazing power of the black dragon, and the genius computer was no more. Hooray!

"Alright, that'll do for now!" Himizu said. "We have definitely made progress, but we still have a 13 and a half page list to go through, woohoo!!!"

"This is not something to celebrate…" Yusuke muttered. Hiei just laughed.

"Hiei's actually enjoying this… never thought I'd see the day!" Ryouko laughed.

"True that… anyways, take a break crew, we'll resume later!" Himizu yelled. Everyone walked off to eat or sleep or watch TV or whatever else they did when they were locked in the giant studio with the psychotic authoresses.

A/N: Once again, I apoligize for leaving this thing hanging for 10 months. For those of you that are actually still waiting for this thing to be updated, I'd really appreciate a review to let me know that there really are people waiting to see how this ends! Thanks for sticking with me everyone, and I hope the wait is worth it!