Standard disclaimers apply. x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x
WHEN YOU WISH UPON A MATERIA
x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x
CHAPTER SIX
In theory, which he explained to Sephiroth, he was banking on the fact that Leviathan could keep itself - and anything within it, hidden from sight from specific groups of people, and thus prevent pandemonium from ensuing when they eventually got back to HQ.
In reality, however, he was kind of hoping that the intimacy would cause the two powerful creatures to end up cancelling each others' existences out.
Cloud realised sardonically that he had been hoping for a lot of things ever since he wound up back in time.
Unfortunately, neither Leviathan nor the egg vanished. Cloud now had to deal with a flying snake with a bulging belly trying to drape itself around his neck at every given moment.
All he could do was sigh in resignation.
The train trip back to HQ was spent in mutual silence. Cloud studiously ignored all the intense stares the commuters in the train were shooting in their direction. It was not every day one got to see the hero Sephiroth taking the train, after all. Cloud wondered not for the first time why Shinra did not just arrange for the SOLDIER to have personal transportation.
Although Sephiroth leaned as inconspicuously as he could against the wall of the last cubicle of the train, he still stood out in that mysterious, otherworldly way of his. Cloud was hovering nearby, trying to keep his senses about him. He could not help but feel like Sephiroth was going to run him through with the Masamune at any moment. Old habits die hard. If Sephiroth noticed his jumpiness, he was discreet enough to keep his comments to himself. And for that, Cloud was grateful.
After a while of travelling, Leviathan floated out of Cloud's territory and was sniffing at the air around Sephiroth. The General glanced at the pregnant-looking snake with amusement, but took care not to speak to it. He remembered Cloud had mentioned that the snake was supposedly invisible to normal people, and judging from the way the other passengers were acting, it seemed to be true. Eventually, Leviathan grew tired of poking at the curious entity who was apparently not susceptible to its magic, and retired back to its owner, doleful for some reason.
At that very moment, the train announced its arrival at Sector 8.
Sephiroth unfolded his arms and pushed himself away from the train wall. His movement caused a few people who had been staring to quickly look away. Cloud glanced at those people and sighed inwardly, remembering the time when he used to be like that before the great General Sephiroth as well. The fact that he was now in that time period certainly made things much more complicated. And while he was yet thinking, Sephiroth had already exited the train carriage. Once he realised that, Cloud hurriedly followed, trying not to seem like a clueless schoolboy.
"When we get back," Sephiroth said in a quiet voice, as soon as they were out of the confines of the stuffy, Shinra-controlled train station, "do not visit the SOLDIER Floor or report to the mission panel immediately. Let me settle things with Lazard first. You may submit your report at around 2000 hours tonight, when all the SOLDIERs are at the party. Once the egg hatches I would like you to inform me. The phones will most likely be bugged, so look for me in person. I should have formulated a method to send the dragon away safely by then."
The fact that he was not required to follow Sephiroth to the SOLDIER Floor or be present when he made his report to Director Lazard made Cloud dizzy with relief, and he was hardly paying attention after that. "Yes, sir!" He said when Sephiroth was done, and saluted on reflex. This caused the General to stare at him with something akin to mild annoyance on his face. He looked like he was about to say something in response, but was interrupted by the sound of his PHS ringing.
"Yes," Sephiroth stopped and answered it right away. After a few seconds of listening to the other person, he turned away with a frown between his eyes. "No, I have not been informed of that," he was saying, somewhat tersely. "Bring the file to SOLDIER Floor, I will meet you there in a few minutes," he started to walk again. They were already at the entrance of the Building - the large glass doors sliding open in greeting, when Sephiroth moved towards it.
Stepping in, Sephiroth's attention was apparently still on the other person on the line. He glanced at the clueless looking Cloud and waved a series of signals that Cloud recognised as SOLDIER hand signs. 'Mission accomplished, dismissed, standby, meet later,' Cloud managed to decipher. He did not know why and how he came to remember these hand signs, but since it most probably had to do with his five years tenure as Hojo's guinea pig, he figured he was better off not knowing.
Without thinking, Cloud signed back. 'Understood.' Sephiroth nodded curtly in acknowledgement. He turned and strode purposefully towards the exhibition room, where the elevator was.
Cloud watched Sephiroth vanish behind the sliding doors of the exhibition room while rooted to the spot. And he kept staring, even after Sephiroth had gone for a long time.
Throughout his long life, he often found himself thinking back about this crucial period of time. Of the 'if-only's and 'what-could-have-been's. He knew ruminating on the past was pointless, but sometimes it was just like a reflex action to something he came across. The feeling of intense hate, the strong sense of self-loathing, and the inability to simply let it all go had all faded out in the course of several centuries. And with those feelings out of the picture, it was much easier to see things in perspective.
Cloud was no hopeless romantic, but if there was one thing he had learnt after living so long, it was that everyone deserved to be at peace with the planet and themselves.
'Some more than others,' he thought to himself, eyes still looking in the direction Sephiroth had last disappeared to. And he was surprised to realise that he really meant it. If Vincent was still in his head, Cloud was sure that the older man would either be laughing or composing incomprehensible poetry by now. Both possibilities made his hair stand on ends, so he was secretly glad that the Vincent Voice was out of the house at the moment. Speaking of the Vincent Voice, Cloud grabbed the materia pendant. Now was the best chance to activate it.
The busy day was not over yet, however, for before Cloud could even so much as flex a finger for the spell, a cheerful and familiar sounding voice called out his name.
"Cloud!" It said. "Yo, Cloud, over here!" The voice got progressively louder, accompanied by the heavy thumping of standard issue boots. A hand slapped Cloud on his shoulder before he could turn around, reining him in for a noogie. Leviathan was floating around somewhere nearby, and it growled softly, before becoming silent for some reason. "Gee, would've been nice if you'd at least called me to let me know they let you out of the infirmary! I thought the nurses ate you or something!"
Memories immediately flooded Cloud's mind. He knew this man very well, and his voice, thought Cloud wryly to himself, had not changed at all. He was exactly the way Cloud had remembered him. Still as bright and cheery as the day they first spoke on that cold and isolated mountain track. Still as warm and reliable as the day they broke out of the laboratory deep in the bowels of the Shinra mansion.
Recognition struck suddenly. Cloud found that he could put a name and face to the voice, and he froze half in terror and half in excitement.
"Zax?" He whispered fearfully.
"Hmm?" Zax, despite always giving the impression that he had nothing much going on in his head except his dream to become a hero, was actually quite perceptive. "Something wrong?" He released Cloud from the noogie and asked.
"I don't know if I'm ready for this yet," Cloud was saying, his back still turned. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut.
"Ugh, what?" Zax blinked.
"This is just too sudden," Cloud continued, not caring if he was confusing Zax.
"What is?" Zax asked, stepping back slightly.
"Dead enemies, dead friends, I don't know, coming back to the past?" Cloud knew he was shooting his mouth off, but he was hardly caring at the moment. His composure had been thrown out of the proverbial window when Zax called for him the first time.
"Dude, Cloud, what's wrong with you?" Zax's smile was getting strained. "Do you need to go back to the infirmary?" He enquired, genuinely concerned.
Cloud spun around all of a sudden so that he was now facing the SOLDIER, although he firmly refused to open his eyes. He leaned forward and impulsively laid his forehead on the warmth that was Zax's left shoulder, reassuring himself that this was real. He was real.
Zax was real.
The befuddled SOLDIER stiffened at the uncharacteristic display of affection from his usually shy friend. He knew that Cloud had a lot going on in his life for a fifteen year old kid, but he never probed more than Cloud was willing to divulge. He did what he thought an understanding older brother would do in the circumstance, lifting a hand to pat the back of Cloud's lowered head gently.
"Is it really you, Zax?" Cloud said again, his voice broken and wavering ever so slightly.
"In the flesh!" Zax chirped.
"I missed you," Cloud whispered.
The SOLDIER used his other hand to scratch his head. "It's only been a few hours."
Cloud made a choking noise. "It's been forever."
Zax actually laughed out loud at that. "Have your bunkmates been stuffing you with their trashy poetry again? You gotta learn how to say no once in a while, Cloud..." he coughed to stop the amusement from showing on his face. "Then again, I suppose it's probably not a good idea to change something that's so intrinsically you..."
After a short, awkward silence, Cloud sighed. "You're right," he mumbled, head still lowered, "some things never change. /You/ haven't changed..."
"Quite hard to change within the span of a few hours, though I think you've got that part covered pretty well, if you ask me..."
"...and history," Cloud continued as if Zax had not spoken at all. "History doesn't change... no matter what we do and how much we struggle..."
"Okay, that's it, your bunkmates are going to die and they are going to die now..."
"Do you ever sometimes wished that things were different?"
Zax stopped his tirade and paid closer attention. He was still living the shadow of the Angeal fiasco, and he knew better than to deny it. There was something hounding Cloud, and he wished he could know what it was. But even if he did not, he knew he could still help by being truthful. "Everybody wants to be able to undo their past regrets," the SOLDIER admitted, tone calm and serious, "but that's just not possible!" The smile was back on his face, a little sadder this time. "That's why we call them wishes. Because wishful thinking is just that - a wish that only exists in our thinking!"
For a few seconds after Zax spoke, all Cloud did was sniff quietly. Then he gave the taller man a weak punch to the chest. "If there's anybody stuffing me with trashy poetry around here, it's /you/." But he chuckled a little when he said that. And he was finally able to push himself away from Zax's shoulder.
Relieved of the weight, Zax gave a hearty laugh - with raised shoulders and all. "What can I say? I'm a genius in everything I do?"
Cloud's head was still lowered, though he had long since opened his eyes. He clenched his fists in determination. Breathing in and out deeply, he slowly lifted his head so that he was able to look into the face of the man who had saved him more times than he cared to count. When he locked glances with the smiling and slightly confused Zax, it was as if something inside shattered into a thousand pieces. He fought desperately to keep his face from scrunching up with emotions. But he refused to compromise by glancing to a side. There were so many things left unsaid between him and his benefactor, whether in the past or now.
Relatively speaking, of course, since Cloud was trapped in this strange time paradox where dead people were alive and former enemies were actually kind of nice to hang out with.
Cloud lifted a hand to his face and rubbed roughly. He would like to think that he was rubbing dirt off his face, but his tear-stained sleeve would beg to differ. Nevertheless, he looked up and into the eyes of his erstwhile best friend again.
"I never got to say thank you."
He knew Zax would never comprehend the long, bitter years of sorrow and regret behind those simple words. But it was enough.
The man being spoken to grinned. "You're welcome? It's just a trip to the infirmary, though. You know I'll do anything for a pal!"
Cloud's vision blurred momentarily again, but he gave his face another rough rub. "Yes," he agreed wholeheartedly, "yes, I know that better than anybody else..."
Zax tilted his head to a side and nodded slowly. "And now that all that is out of the way..." he waved dramatically, "I can finally ask you what I was trying to find you for! You don't have any missions tonight, do you? Wanna go try that new restaurant in Sector 7 I was telling you about?"
The sudden change in topic caught Cloud completely off guard. "Umm..." he blinked. "...actually, I'm not sure," his head was still swimming, after all. "I just got back from a mission. I still need to check with the receptionist what my schedule for the night is."
"Yeah, I know how the Company works, 'stretching all available human resources' and everything..." the SOLDIER sighed. "But just check with the receptionist to see if it's something skippable, all right? Pretty please?" He put his hands together and pleaded.
"Sure..." Cloud frowned. "Don't /you/ have any missions, Zax?"
Zax's head snapped up and he gave Cloud an incredulous look. "Oh, Cloud, I can't believe you've forgotten again. This must be at least the 100th time I'm telling you, but the Company has put me on standby ever since Modeoheim, remember??" He stepped forward and clapped a huge hand over Cloud's head, grabbing hold and shaking it in slow circles. "I. Am. So. BORED!" He sounded like he was whining, but Cloud could not be sure, since his head was being rocked in all directions. "But everybody's so busy and don't have time to do anything with me! Humour me, Cloud, and just go ask, all right?"
"All right, I'll go!" Cloud grabbed Zax's wrist and removed the latter's hand from his head without thinking. He sighed, and failed to notice Zax gaping openly at him, a cross of shock and amazement written all over his face. "And don't follow me there, you're embarrassing!" Cloud huffed, and then was on his way.
Zax stared at Cloud's retreating back, then at the hand that Cloud had forcibly removed just now. Although he had not been using his whole strength, the SOLDIER was well aware that he had exerted a fair amount of power. Enough that he knew Cloud would have great difficulty making his hand budge even if he wanted to. He did it purposely in order to see Cloud pout and complain, because the boy just needed to lighten up a little sometimes. How could Cloud have gotten strong enough to remove his grip with apparently no difficulty at all in such a short time?
Gripping his hand and flexing his arm, he let it drop back to his side. There would be time for answers at another time. Right now he was going to concentrate on getting out of the Building with his close friend and then having the wildest time of their life.
Cloud was already walking back by the time Zax had finished thinking. He had an apologetic look on his face. "The good news is," Cloud started, and Zax perked up, "my night patrol has been cancelled. The bad news is," he held a hand up to stop Zax from doing a victory dance just yet, "that it has been replaced with guard duty for the anniversary dinner that's being held at one of the ballrooms here tonight."
The SOLDIER took a moment to fully digest the information. Then he deflated. "Oh man... Why doesn't /anybody/ have time anymore..."
"I'm sorry Zax," Cloud sounded sympathetic. "But don't you need to be at the dinner tonight anyway?"
"Yes," Zax said, head still hung in disappointment. "But I was planning on skipping because you know how boring things like that can get." He looked up and leant slightly in, whispering secretly, "President Shinra's just going to give Yet Another Grandiose Speech about the Company and its interests. Same thing we hear every year, really. I don't know about you, but I can already almost memorise the thing..." He peeked up purposefully. "...do you wanna skip?"
"No!" Cloud cried out immediately. He simply could not afford to draw anymore unwanted attention to himself. But of course, he was not about to give that as an excuse to Zax. Where was Vincent when you needed him. "Err... I mean, it's an important function, and... I might get into... trouble...?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know you're a serious kid," Zax said, while ruffling Cloud's hair fondly. He then turned a circle around himself and sighed to the high heavens. "I guess I'll go for that anniversary dinner after all..."
Cloud sighed as well, but in relief. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he was aghast to note that it was nearly 1900 hours. He had be at some briefing at 1930 hours, so that gave him very little time for anything else. "Zax, I'll see you there all right?" He was already retreating towards the exhibition room. "I gotta go, or I'll be late, and my bunkmates will have my hide for that." He waved at Zax, who waved back. Turning around, he broke into a full sprint and only slowed down when he got to the lift landing.
When the elevator doors slid open, Cloud stepped in quickly. He pressed the floor for his bunk and slumped back against the translucent glass wall. He noticed that he was the only soul in the elevator, excluding the unusually silent Leviathan. His hand went up to the materia pendant around his neck, and the materia glowed for a split second.
'Am I dreaming, Vincent?' Cloud asked, as the elevator slowly made its way up.
There was silence in his head for a while. Then, 'You wish, Cloud.' More silence. 'And I wish you were, too.' x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x--x sorry for the heavy stuff. D: i think these guys may actually be trying to drag a plot into this crackpot story. well anyway, back to crack soon, i think. i hope. XD after all these years i am still unable to spell zax's name properly, because i just don't see how zakkusu transliterates to zack!! XD perhaps one day i will change, but until then please do excuse my vanity. XD
20 jun 2008
tougenkyou . net / xd