To Madness
Chapter Six: Age Eighteen
(He loves me) A little
A lot
Passionately
To madness
Not at all—from a French game
"Didn't you love me, even a little?"
"You know, I did. A little."
Miguel toppled into the water with a splash, and Constancia returned the sword to Zorro, feeling invigorated and happy but heartbroken. They collected her dowry and other things and then rode back to shore, in silence. He helped her onto Tornado, secured the dowry in front of her and then walked beside her.
"Zorro," she began, slowly. "Was it very stupid of me? To love Miguel? To let myself be so taken in?"
"Loving someone is never stupid," Zorro said, after a moment. "Love is a beautiful thing. No matter how badly something ends, it was worth it. It was not stupid to love him."
She nodded, pressing her lips together to keep herself from crying. "Zorro," she began again. "Do you know how I feel right now?"
"Betrayed."
"No, I mean, have you felt like this?"
"Yes," he replied. "I have. And my heart has broken many other times also, from things besides betrayal. But this does not mean that I am stupid. It means that I trusted the world and trusted the woman I gave my heart that she would not break it. But she did. And sometimes, it was not her fault."
He paused. "Love is a funny thing, Constancia. But no matter what, it is always worth it. Give your heart freely, querida, just use your sense next time, also. Make sure that the man you give it to is a good man. He can also be smart and handsome, and good with a sword, or whatever you like. But the thing he needs to be, querida, is good. Pick someone who loves you and pick someone who loves God. That's what you need."
Constancia listened quietly. "When does it stop hurting?"
"It can take a long time. For the woman I loved most, it was almost a year before my heart stopped hurting when I thought of her. But now, I can remember her and be happy. And maybe someday you can remember this trip and be happy, that you figured out Miguel in time and didn't give him your dowry as well as your heart."
"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing." Anaïs Nin
A/N: My sister's critique of this chapter is that these words would be more likely to come from Diego's mouth, not Zorro's. I rationalize this away by saying that since Constancia treats Diego and Zorro the same, without preference for either, I think Zorro would have done the same for her, and tried to comfort her, whether the mask was on or not.