Elena stood under the spray of the warm shower with her eyes blissfully closed when she grew still at the sounds from downstairs that found their way to her. She had decided to take a quick shower and borrow a change of clothes before she headed home to Elijah. She looked a little shocking, splattered from head to toe with wolf blood. The guys had supplied what she needed helpfully and left her to it.

It was unexpected, though, when Damon's voice wandered up the stairs, hushed to a near whisper, but detectable at nearly full volume by Elena, shower spray or not.

"You should have seen her." Excitement threaded through the whispered words, and she could hear something like pride in his tone. It made her smile and feel a little less like she was spying on them.

It wasn't her fault she could hear them from the other side of the boarding house and one floor up, right?, she thought with a smile and a shrug.

"What did I miss?" She heard a scrape, like Stefan pulling up a barstool to sit.

"She took down two furred-out wolves, guards for the pack leader, with one hand each. They never even saw her coming." There was a jangle of ice cubes as Damon spoke. "And then I heard, didn't get to see, but heard, her slosh their respective hearts onto that pack leader's dinner table." He snorted out the last sentence before descending into a full blown laugh.

"I can tell you, I'm glad she's on our side." She could hear Damon's smile.

Elena smiled too while she scrubbed the blood from those wolves out of her hair. She was glad someone was entertained tonight.

Stefan cut through her mirth like a razor with his next thought.

"Have you considered what we would do if she wasn't?"

She heard the rush of liquid and ice cubes again from Damon before he said, "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty limber. I think I could probably pull off bending over and kissing my ass goodbye."

They laughed together for a second and Elena was giggling soundlessly along with them. But it didn't last long.

"But seriously, Damon."

"That's just nuts, Stefan. This is Elena we're talking about."

"The Elena we're used to couldn't do the things this one can, Damon."

"But…."

"She was off the rails for a few tonight. You know it. I know it."

"That was because of Ric. She's still processing the emotions, man."

"She was a loose cannon. We know what that looks like in her now. And frankly, it scares the hell out of me. What if she goes off the rails and stays there, Damon? We all face that possibility every day, being what we are. So, let's imagine for a minute the nightmare that would be if Elena did it."

The conversation that followed broken her heart and made her tears mix with water raining down on her from the shower. The worst of it was that they were partially right.

Taking an extra few minutes to reassemble herself, she tried to prepare to face them and their fear with her best poker face. Pausing to take a deep breath, she breezed into the room, stepped in swiftly, but not too swiftly, and went for a blood bag without a word.

They both sat at the kitchen island, watching her closely. The silence bore down on her until she couldn't keep her peace any more. They were going to be afraid of her, evidently, regardless of whether they knew how well she could hear or not. The most frustrating part of it was that they had seen some of her capabilities while she worked to keep them safe.

Ungrateful much, guys?

"Look, I get it." She turned and faced both of them, her chin high. "I won't come back here. To your home. Ever. I promise."

"Elena! No one said anything about…." Damon's expression looked shattered, his voice tight. He stepped up and reached out to touch her, but she pulled away, her eyes hard.

"You think I'm dangerous. A loose cannon. Could go off the rails…etc., etc. Self-preservation being an instinct, friends or no friends…." She wasn't even mollified by the fact that they both wore mirrored expressions of horror as she quoted them.

So…yeah. They had their worst case scenario unfolding before their eyes. She was hurt and angry with both of them. Off the rails….not. She sighed raggedly, thinking what she wouldn't say out loud. Hey guys, Elena. Is. Upset. But. Still. Not. Killing. People.…..Morons.

"There is just one thing I'd like for both of you to consider. You've both been "off the rails" at one time or another since I've known you. So yes, I agree. Any of us is vulnerable to becoming a monster at any time. I get that. And as a human living through that, I can tell you that both of you completely terrified me at one point or another. But I never….NEVER considered turning my back on either of you."

"But this….this is different. This is me turning my back on you both now rather than beg for trust."

Moving toward the door as they both stood speechless, she took the knob in her hand before she turned back.

"If the werewolves return, call Elijah. One of us will take care of it. I don't make idle threats, or empty promises. As for the two of you….be happy. Be safe, because God knows that's your first priority." Her voice didn't break or waver for her last words to them. She was proud of that.

Her heart was shattered, but she managed to hold the pieces together for the first mile of her run homeward before the tears overtook her. She stopped, blinded, with a hand over her chest as the sobs rose and fell in the silent forest around her.

A whole new world of understanding opened for her at the memory of how hurt Elijah got in those early years whenever he thought she was afraid of him. She knew now that Elijah had loved her all along. So any sign of fear from her upset him. She began to understand him and what she'd put him through. It made her ashamed.

For her, this was like a knife in her chest that these two people she loved would think she could ever hurt either of them. The depth of the wound at being feared was something she had never understood until now. It felt like a betrayal, like they'd never really known her at all.

Crying and running was difficult. It made it hard to see where you were going. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket all the way home, but she planned on getting a new one now. Just one more step in her efforts at self-preservation. They could wound her, and she had a right to be safe from that, just as much as they did.

She stopped on her front porch, bent at the waist with her hands on her knees, sobbing brokenly. Elijah somehow knew and met her there, wrapping her in strong, comforting arms. After who knew how long, he whispered in her ear.

"What have they done to you, sweetling?" His deep voice was tight, the words enunciated carefully.

All she could do was shake her head, burrowing her face into his neck.

"Whatever it is, this officially all the excuse I need to finally rip the Salvatores apart."

Elena sputtered between a laugh and a sob until the laughter won out. And it was her they were worried about? Really?

After a minute of thoroughly confusing poor Elijah, she leaned back in his arms and took the lapels of his jacket in her hands.

"I need for you to promise me something." He searched her face, his alarm appearing to grow as his eyes widened at her intensity.

"Anything."

"Don't let me ever become a monster." Her voice was harsh from the tears, and the words came low and urgent. "If I turn my back on my humanity, become something horrible and cruel, you would be the only one who could get close enough to stop me." The tears leaked out again, silent this time, as she met his warm, loving eyes.

"Promise me you will kill me first."

He pulled abruptly away, turning his back on her.

"You don't know what you're asking." He choked the words out around a throat that had closed on him. He had feared this.

"I know exactly what I'm asking, Elijah. I did this to be with you. If I became someone else, you wouldn't want me, and I wouldn't be able to stay with you. You were the goal. The prize in all of this. If I ruined that, going on a killing spree….I can't live with the terror that thought brings me, Elijah. Right here, right now, I'm myself. Sound mind and body and all that. Only you could save me from this if it ever came. I want for you to stop me." She ran hands across his back, trying to take some of the sting from her appeal. But he didn't turn to face her. Instead, she watched his back round out, as if bearing a weight too heavy for him.

"Please." The tears overtook her again, turning her word to a strangled, gasping plea.

At the sound she made, he turned again, pulling her swiftly to his chest, tucking her head under his chin.

"Yes." The word was a growl.

"I promise. But you're wrong. There will never be a time that I won't want you. But yes, I will do what you ask, no matter what it would cost me." Strong hands moved over her back as he spoke, bringing the peace only he could bring.

"Now tell me what those boys did to you that you feel the need force this promise from me so I can know why I'm killing them both."

She laughed for half a breath before she realized he wasn't kidding. The she shook her head against him again because he wouldn't give her the space to lean back and meet his eyes.

He was livid. In the lines of his hands, his shoulders, just the space around him, she could feel the hot anger coursing through him like nothing she'd felt from him since the day he'd mistakenly thought she was leaving him.

"It's not really their fault." His hands stopped their stroking and bunched to fists against her back. "They're right to be afraid, honestly. I just overheard some things. Plans for if I ever turned on them."

His entire body clenched and a shudder of fury tore through him.

"I will show them who they should fear." The growl came through clenched teeth.

"No." More urgency from her got his attention and he did move away just enough to see her eyes.

"That will just be proving them right, Elijah. I know they're not your favorite people. Neither of them ever have been. But I still love them both like family. No matter what they say or do, I will always care. And I've lost too much of my family, Elijah. We both have. Please."

I hate it when she's right, he thought. He'd been looking forward to feeling the snap of bones as he ground them both to dust. He took her, his gentle hearted wife who struck fear into other hearts, into his arms again. Swallowing hard on the bitter taste of his fury, he kissed her, sipping her warmth and her strength and her tears.

He'd much rather kill anyone who dared to hurt her, but he would be the one hurting her if he did. So he would burn off the passion boiling under his skin another way. Up and into his arms she went and he turned to carry her into the house and to their bed.

He would sooth away the pain for a while and show her healing. She was his treasure, his prize. Just as she'd said he was hers. Those beautiful words rang in his soul, assuring he would never forget them. Regardless of their context, they were precious to him.

He would remind her of the treasure she was with his hands, his lips and his body. This much he could do.

He could make her forget, if only for a little while, how much love mingled with fear could wound.