Lookie! A free Tuesday night for me to update!

Meh thankins yah

Dattestakida - Why thank you very much! I appreciate it a lot!

punk-rock-mermaid-queen - Aww…I've never been called doll before! Lol…thanks!

Burma - Nellie Ellie Ella…uh…I messed up after like two times fast. Haha!

Maxine the unknowingly admired - Almost as sad…yes…everything is sad, eh? Haha…my fav to write! XD

XDazedandConfusedX - Oh dear, I hope they get better too! *makes heart back*

Sheila Chiaroscura - Thank you! I shall surely keep it up!

And

Sweeneylovett101 - Thank you love for trying to catch up! Your review for chapter three will have to hold me over until you catch all the way up!

Chapter six!

January 14th 1842

Such a dispirited little ten year old you are…it breaks my heart to see you sulk around everyday since Amelia had to leave only a few weeks ago. I never realized how important that girl was to you! Until now, where all you do all day long is sit at the end of the pier and watch the sun move across the sky, or take the usually cheery ribbon out of your hair and dangle it in front of the cat with that dull, tiered look on your face. You don't talk at meals…and my futile attempts to make you smile often fail…it hurts to know there's nothing I can do to make you your joyful self again!

Well…there is one thing you mentioned…but at the moment, I see it preposterously out of the question. Maybe if I go over your reasonings again, I'll see it in a different light?

Might as well.

I suppose it all started two Wednesdays ago, when Amelia stopped in the shop with that dreadfully sad look in her wet eyes…

You were suppose to be down in the house, reading your book for school, so I told Amelia to wait in one of the little seats out in the shop until you finished.

It was only a few moments before I noted the tears slowly streaming down her face. I dropped what I was doing and slowly walked over to where she sat, daydreaming out the window.

"Amelia, love?" I asked. At the sound of my voice, her head snapped up and her hands flew to dry her eyes. She looked up at me with this pristine look about her eyes - and it broke my heart as much as it breaks it to see you sad everyday.

I know you've always thought of Amelia as sort of a sister to you, but I'm not sure if you ever knew that I've always thought of her as a daughter as well.

"Wot's on your mind darling?"

She looked out the window again, and I doubted for a moment that she would even speak with me. After a few long beats floated by, she mumbled to me without turning her head, "Thank you for caring for me so much in the past few years, I'll never forget everything you've done for me…I appreciate it all so much,"

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, just wondering where she was going with this.

"Amelia?"

"I'm sorry Nellie… this is oh so hard for me!" her voice cracked with her words that were coated with sadness. She covered her face with her lanky fingers and struggled to wipe away the remaining tears. I whipped myself around the counter, swiftly walked to the seat besides her, and placed my hand on her shoulder to perhaps try and comfort her.

"Nellie, I'm going to be eighteen next week…" she started, struggling to hush her tears. "My mother says that she wants me to have a legitimate career…which she says I can't get in this town…"

I cocked my head as if to tell her to go on. "We're leaving! She wants us to go to a more demanding city…we're moving…"

My heart sank…oh no…

"I'm sorry love…" was all I could find in my mind to sputter out. My thoughts had immediately snapped to you. Amelia and her twin little siblings were just about all the friends I ever hear you talk about. There's others, but the Tarn's were all you really seemed to care about.

"But you know what?" came Amelia's voice, surprisingly calm and serene compared to what I had heard only seconds ago. She continued, "I'm…content about it. I know that sounds selfish and non-sympathetic but…I understand my mum's reasonings…and I believe it to be true." she looked up at me then and shrugged. Slowly, her eyes drifted back down and out the window, taking in her last few days in these surroundings. "Don't tell Ella I said that…" she continued, "I want to tell her myself…I want to explain it so she'll understand."

"Wot is there left to say?" Amelia and I turned our heads to see you stand up from behind the counter of the shop, where you had been hiding, listening the whole time. Tears were streaming down from your red eyes as you shuffled over to stand in the middle of the shop, a good distance from Amelia or me.

"Amelia, how could you?" you whispered, more tears sprouting. I had to resist the urge to get up and automatically hug you - you weren't just a little girl anymore.

"Ella…" Amelia sighed, "I…"

"No! Wot about me? Did you ever even think about me? How I would feel? How this was gonna effect me? How could you simply…leave! ? Just like that? Leave me behind like we aren't the closest of friends ever. How do you think I feel about this, Amelia?" your voice rising, and your posture becoming defensive and full of disgust, I glanced at Amelia to see her at a complete loss for words. I was too. Neither of us ever figured that you'd react like this.

"I am going to be so lonely without you! Wot am I suppose to do, huh? I don't understand how you could do this to me!" tears began to choke your angry voice. Before running out of the room in a fit of tears you sputtered out, "I hate you!"

When the room was empty and quiet again, I made sure Amelia knew that you didn't mean what you said. I know you didn't, there's just times when the emotions take you over so much that you're not completely sure of what you're saying. You just want to get out the anger in you, and that can result in a little harsher words then you meant.

The next day, you two, along with the twins, were able to have a proper goodbye. With everyone crying and hugging like one of you was being sentenced to death or something. Still, it might as well have been that, since Amelia wasn't exactly sure where she was moving to yet, and didn't have an address to send a friendly letter to later. With a smile and a promise to write us when she could, her and the rest of the Tarn's left. I'm sure you'll forever remember standing there on the side of the road, watching that carriage pull away, and sitting there for hours afterwards, hugging your knees to your chest, and praying for your big sister to come back.

I know it hurts love, and I'm ever so sorry…but there was truly nothing we could do about it.

Going on with my reasonings, I'm only including this little part here because this, I believe, is what brought the whole idea to your mind. Well, part of it anyway.

Last Monday, I was working away in the shop when a customer came in. So lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even notice the person until their shadow passed over me.

"Mrs. Lovett?" the voice came, and I looked up to really see the customer.

I recognized the face straight away. "Marie Mooney!" I muttered as a smile spread across my face.

The chubby, tiered looking older women in the shop was an old…acquaintance of mine when we lived back in London. We never really talked much, her being a pie shop rival of mine, but she was a regular gossip and therefore seemed to know what was going on in everyone's life at anytime. Therefore, as disturbing as that could be at times, it made her easy to talk to. After a quick (and awkward at that) hug, we continued to talk.

"What brings you to the seaside?" I asked, going with an easy directing for the conversation.

"Visiting family briefly I am! And this is where you live now, eh?" She took to sitting down in one of the tables to rest, and I slowly made my way back around the counter to continue sowing sequins onto a skirt.

"Certainly is. I love it here very much! So you've been well then?" small talk…gotta love it, eh?

"Oh yes…just me and my lonely ol' self! And you've been good with your lonely ol' self?" Ellie waltzed up to the stranger, being the bizarrely friendly cat that she is. I almost walked over and brought Ellie back to the house cause…don't tell anyone I told you, but I heard gossip back when I lived in London that the neighborhood gossip caught cats to cook into her pies…

"Oh no…hm…we're just fine here." I corrected, figuring she must have known that I had a daughter…right?

"Wot? You and the cat?" she laughed, trying to be funny, I suppose.

"No…"

She narrowed her old eyes and began to fidget with a small needle I had left on the table. "Oh! So you've found someone after being with that awful bugger of a husb…?"

"No!" I cut her off. How dare she speak ill of Benjamin? "I'm speaking about my daughter!"

"Oh ho oh!" she laughed, her voice deep and gruffy, "So you were simply a mistress, eh?"

"Heavens no!" I quickly said back, hoping that you weren't listening somewhere! "Ella is mine! And I thought you knew that! You stopped by once or twice when I was pregnant, remember?"

Suddenly, her forehead scrunched together and she drew in a quick breath in confusion. "Well yes but…" she stopped for a moment as if she was unsure of what to say. But she went on, "I heard that your baby died,"

"Excuse me?" now it was my turn to be confused.

"Well, it sounds terrible but it's true! The whole city was buzzing that your daughter was born dead, they said! Specially after you left, well I believed it to be true!"

"No no no!" I shook my head, almost violently to prove my point. What a horrible thing! For everyone in your birth town to believe you were dead! "My daughter, Ella, was born healthy and is a perfectly fine ten year old today!" as if to prove to the skeptical gossip that I wasn't lying, I pulled open the door to the house and spoke to you, where you sat reading on the sofa, "Ella, come out here for a moment, will yah?"

Standing up slowly, you came through the door and stepped into the shop.

"Wot is it, Mum?" you muttered, softly, not happy that I interrupted your book, I suppose.

"Ella, say hello to an old friend of mine from London, Mrs. Mooney," I motioned to where she still sat, wide-eyed and dumbfounded, at the shops table.

You reluctantly curtsied. "How do you do?"

Hm…learned that in school, I suppose!

"Well ever so polite she is!" Mrs. Mooney shouted. "And not in the least bit dead!"

"Uh…Mum?" you turned to me, you now wide-eyed and confused.

"I'll tell yah later deary, back to reading with you, eh?"

With a nod and another glance at the astonished woman in the shop, you left happily.

Well…just thought I'd clear that up real quick!

Going on with it though, I think it was Mrs. Mooney who brought the whole thought to your mind in the first place. Or at least helped it grow.

London.

London, England.

It wasn't but a few days later, only yesterday, that you brought the whole subject up.

It started out in the shop where, you hate it I know, but you have to be everyday now that Amelia isn't here to watch you out on the beach.

You were staring out the window, that dreary and clouded look in your eyes. You turned your head to watch me for a few moments before you muttered, almost silently, "Mum? Do you like it here?"

Not stopping what I was doing, I answered simply and truthfully, "Of course,"

"More then London then?" your small, muddled tone of your voice, made me begin to wonder what was really going through your head in these last few silent weeks.

"Well…yes. That's why I moved us here when you were still a baby!" I smiled at you as your unsatisfied gaze drifted back out the window.

Low and rough your voice came again, "Well I hate it here…"

Now I stopped what I was doing and slowly walked over to you. Now that I could hear the tears in your throat, and the hurt in your chest. Now that I could hear the bitter thoughts that were buzzing around in your head like angry bees.

"Ella?" I whispered once I was sitting across the table from you. You turned your head more, not wanting me to see the tears or the resentful look on you face.

I reached out to grab your chin and turn your head toward me so we could talk properly, but you pulled out of my reach, and with one cold glance in my eyes, you turned to stand up.

Now pacing around the room, you set off.

"Mum, I hate it here! I hate how hot it is everyday! I hate all the sand and all the bloody all too cheery people!"

"Ella!" I scolded, struggling to not have my blood boil too.

"No listen!" You shouted, running your fingers into your long, loose hair and grabbing at the strands as if you wanted to yank them out. "I have absolutely no friends!" Spotting the shocked look on my face, you explained. "Amelia, Melinda, and Flynn are gone! And there's never been anyone else, mum! I made them all up to make you happy. So it'd seem that I wasn't as daft as I really am. Mum, the kids at school poke fun at me! They tease me relentlessly about every other thing! They taunt me about my curly hair and how it's always out of control. They mock my singing and they mock my dancing. They pester me about my accent because everyone here doesn't have the same one I do! They'll steal my drawings and my crafts and throw them in the mud because they think it's ever so funny! I hate it here!"

I found myself suddenly having to resist tears coming to my eyes. It hurt to think about you going through all this pain and me not even knowing.

"My grades are dropping and I don't want to sing anymore! I hate how everyday all I want to do is see Amelia and play with her but I can't!"

I was at a loss for words at this point. How was I suppose to respond to your screaming and shouting? To your mad pacing up and down the shop and stomping your foot and crying. This battle you fight everyday that I didn't even know about to this point was killing you, and I wasn't sure how to bring you back home from it.

"And I am so bloody tiered of waking up every other single night on this sofa screaming and screaming! And about what, I can't even remember! I'm disgusted at the thought of seeing this bloody parlor come into focus in the dark room every time I wake up from yet another night terror!" tears accompanied your words, sobs interrupted them.

You suddenly and abruptly took in a deep breath and calmed. "But Mum, listen! What if, perhaps, something could change that, eh? I want to move! I feel this can all change if we move! I wanna go back to where I was born, I wanna move to London! Isn't that a smashing idea though?" your eyes were slowly drying and beginning to light up at the idea sprouting in your head.

Brilliant, you thought. Foolproof, you thought.

When I didn't even blink about it, you went on, continuing to pace again. "And your friend, Mrs. Mooney is there, correct? And Mum! Mum, listen! Amelia said that…perhaps that was where she was moving to! Wouldn't it be smashing to go there? To just leave this all behind and move to London? Don't you think Mum?" out of things to say, you waited for me to say something, to go along with your brilliant plan that you've undoubtedly spent hours on end thinking about. When I didn't say anything, you struggled to bring me back from where ever my mind had floated to. You walked up to me and shook your head, "Mum? Don't you think?"

I'm not exactly sure where my mind went…or what I was thinking about when you brought up London.

London, England.

I wanna go back to where I was born, I wanna move to London!

I seemed to be stuck on that phrase, for whatever reason. I don't…know…why…

where I was born…

where I was born…

where I was born…

"MUM!" you broke me out of the mystery trance.

Shaking my head and blinking widely, you came back into focus. And before I could practically process anything you had just tried to persuade me with or see the defensive and crazed look on your face, I said. "I don't think that'll happen, Ella,"

As more tears rose from the awful pain of rejection in your chest, you ran away into the house, barely remembering to pick up your long dress so you wouldn't trip over it.

I apologies for that now, love. I really should have given it more thought.

But now that I've gone over and analyzed the whole situation again, I feel any answer now will be more easily understood by you.

I'm so sorry love, but for whatever reason, I hate the thought of seeing you…me…us…in London. Back…in London.

I feel like I can't exactly tell you why…and we may never know for sure.

But understand me when I say, I only want what's best for you. And what's best for you is to stay out of London.

Trust me on that, deary.

You know the drill.

Seeing all of your guys reviews week after week makes me REALLY HAAAAAAPPPPYYYY! XD

Stay tuned for next week!