Wheatley dreamed of Kyubey. It was quite inconvenient for someone hoping a good dream would let him forget the nightmares of the day.
They were both sitting at a table in the middle of an underground room full of wires. Panels in the walls shifted, and from time to time something metallic with a great blue eye would peer down at him through the screen in one of the panels, saying nothing. Wheatley was in some kind of jumper, and Kyubey had a little collar around his neck. For some reason, they were drinking tea.
"Sometimes it's easier to have a conversation in a dream," Kyubey explained. "I wonder what the significance of the setting is? Sometimes dreams can tap into the collective unconscious. Then again, maybe it's just from a movie you saw once."
Wheatley thought at first of sitting and saying nothing, just glaring at the little creature, but it didn't seem to make the dream end any faster. Besides, the metal eye on the wall was just staring at him in a way that made him even more uncomfortable. At least words would fill the silence. "Okay, well, sure, to start with. WHAT THE HELL, MATE!?" He reached over the table to grab and rattle Kyubey, whose expression didn't change. "You killed me! You bloody killed me and then I died twice today and you didn't even tell me! That is not fair, not fair at all! You should warn a guy before you do that! You didn't tell me if I made a Contract with you, I'd die."
"You didn't ask." Kyubey wriggled out of Wheatley's hands and slipped down onto the table, lapping up mint tea. "And telling you would have just upset you. But tell me, Wheatley, do you think you could have survived even your first fight with a clumsy, fragile body?"
Wheatley bit his lip. "Wasn't so fragile," he muttered. "I think it was just fine as it was. I mean, tall. Little pudge in the middle, could have done without that. But fragile nothing..."
"Impaling, punctured lungs, or even a fractured neck could kill you in an instant. The Witches will always attempt to kill you and anything nearby. They see you as nothing but an intruder to be eliminated." Kyubey paused to clean his pointed ear with one paw. "You saw the benefits in action today. You remember what the seaweed Familiar did, right?"
A memory returned of the sensation of spines running right through flesh and bone, and Wheatley wondered if it was possible to throw up in a dream. He covered his mouth just in case, toes curling up in his shoes. To fight off the nausea he stared at the strange walls until it passed.
"I see I don't have to ask. If you think of it one way, I didn't kill you so much as make you invulnerable. Don't humans have stories about immortality? I have heard fictionalized tales where people allow themselves to turn into vampires, or upload their consciousness into machinery." Kyubey looked up at the creepy blue eye in the huge monitor for some reason before turning his empty gaze back to Wheatley. "They willingly surrender their humanity to escape death. That body won't rot and die with time, like your old one would have done." Kyubey curled his tail around his tea.
"But…I didn't ask for this. None of us asked for it." Wheatley stirred his tea, staring up again at that blue eye, which just blinked at him with metal lids. "Will I even be able to grow into an adult? You know, get married and start a family, that sort of thing?"
"Fighting Witches is dangerous. Even with the Soul Gem enhancement, many magicians don't live long enough to find out, and the few exceptions are unusual. It's possible you could use magic to make your body more adult-like over time if you really felt the need to do so. As for having children, it's probably impossible. There have been rare exceptions in that case as well. But don't worry, humanity is reproducing at such a rate that your being unable to do so will not affect the survival of the species."
"Who cares about…! You're just…" Wheatley snorted and attempted to drink tea, though his shaky hand spilled it all over the table. Still a clumsy oaf, even in a dream. "What you're saying is that I can't get this body killed because it's basically dead. Can't have children, won't age normally unless I use magic...what sort of life is that?" He wrapped his arms around his stomach. "...So why did I hear it from Glados, instead? Thought she was the jerk and you were on my side."
"The girl who calls herself that has her own reasons even I do not fully understand. I don't really care what you humans tell each other. Do you have any more questions? I don't answer questions very often, you know, but sometimes I'm generous. "
Wheatley slumped back into the too-low chair as the panels in the walls shifted, revealing more peering machine eyes. His gaze fell to the label on his jumper uniform, but it was written in an incomprehensible language he couldn't make out. "Why did you pick me, mate? Why'd it have to be me? I mean, who do you choose to give this death sentence to, anyone who looks like enough of a sucker? Guess that qualifies me, doesn't it?" He exhaled through his nose. "I just thought it was because I was special, or could become special. I mean had to be some cosmic reason you picked me. Chell seems to be really brave, Craig's smart..."
Kyubey tilted his head, as if studying Wheatley. "The reasons vary and have little to do with personal virtues. Those are subjective. Sometimes the personality is suited to it. Sometimes they have a great deal of potential built up, or seem to be able to generate strong emotions in themselves and others. And sometimes, some individuals can have potential for good or ill fate in this universe and timeline because of their actions in other universes. That's very rare, though."
"…Other timelines? Universes? What?"
"You didn't think this is the only world there is, did you? Even I cannot cross timelines or universes, though it's possible Chell could do the latter if she expended enough power and energy. She does have spatial magic, after all. I do know there are probably infinite universes; there may even exist places without Witches. Someone could have ill fortune in one universe because of their actions in another."
It was all making Wheatley's head hurt, and he wasn't getting a lick of sense out of it, which at least was standard practice when he talked to Kyubey. "What about me, then? Why did you choose me?"
"Wait and see. You'll understand." Kyubey's form melted into nothingness and vanished, leaving Wheatley stuck at the table in the room with no windows, the eye in the panels staring at him with a narrowed gaze.
Kyubey lifted his paw off of the blue Soul Gem, looking back at Wheatley, snoring and sprawled across the bed with one leg hanging off. "At least humans listen to me in their dreams. I wonder why they're so irrational? Even the Queen makes strange decisions sometimes." He flicked his tail and leaped away.
"Have you decided yet?" Kyubey perched on Chell's shoulder, nuzzling her like a cat. It seemed ridiculous to think this adorable little creature could grant anyone power, but she'd seen the truth herself. "There's so much I could give you. Money, power, intelligence, beauty, any of these could be yours. I can change the nature of your body and mind, if you make a contract with me."
Kyubey," a soft voice chided him, "don't pressure her." Black-gloved hands reached over to lift the creature, and Caroline took him in to a gentle hug. "Sorry, he just doesn't know when he's being pushy." The other girl sat down next to Chell, the black ruffle of her dress brushing against Chell's jeans. "You should consider it carefully. This is a difficult life, after all, but very rewarding in its own way. You'll see things you didn't know existed, and you'll be a hero, even if most people never even know you've saved them. We Magi, we save a lot of lives."
Chell felt so ordinary next to Caroline, in her long black dress and soft grey veil. She'd seen Caroline and the girl in green, Rita, glide like butterflies through the air as they saved her from that terrible thing. Rita was hanging back and watching, still resplendent in her emerald combat outfit. Caroline's very touch had healed her wrist in seconds, and Chell had wondered if the two were angels.
"I don't know." She stared down at herself, scruffy and awkward in her own eyes. "It's all very confusing. Can you give me some time to think about it?"
"C'mon," Rita called from the wall she was leaning on, "you'll be fine. It's fun! You get to hunt monsters 'n kick ass like some kinda superhero. Where else are you gonna get that?" She tossed something metallic-looking into the air and caught it.
Caroline just placed a hand on her shoulder, and Chell felt something soothing and gentle, something that helped calm her pounding heart. Kind black eyes looked into her own through that curious veil. "Whatever you decide will be alright, as long as you accept the consequences of your decision and agree to live without regrets."
Kyubey wiggled his ears, snuggling against Caroline. "When you decide you know what to do, I'll be waiting."
Chell, consumed by old memories, did not sleep at all that night.
Sometimes Rita missed school. Not the 'class' part of it, of course, she could take or leave that. But standing outside the gates of St. Aperture's, wearing her torn jeans and jacket, she wondered if she was missing out on something.
Well, no time for regrets. There was no changing the past now, unless Kyubey abruptly grew a heart and decided to give her a second wish.
As she heard the bell signaling the end of the class day, she quickly dropped her cigarette and extinguished it with her foot, dusting ash off of her jacket and smoothing her hair. Leaning against the wall, she watched the flood of burgundy-uniformed students spill from the gates, keeping her eye out for a certain chubby face and self-important walk.
Yes, that was the person from Glados's photograph. He hadn't shown at all on Monday and Tuesday; asking around revealed that he was probably at a Student Government meeting, and even Rita didn't have the gall to sneak onto campus and pull him out. Now she ran over to him, putting on her best flirting eyes and syrupy voice.
"Craaig! Come on, you're late for our date!"
Craig stopped talking to the boy next to him and stared at Rita like she was an oncoming bus. The students next to him blinked, and some whispered to one another.
"Um, do I know you…?"
"Oh, don't be so mean, Craig! Come on! We have a date. Remember?" She waved at him and held up her hand, putting a special emphasis on the green Soul Gem that shimmered in her ring. That seemed to finally clue him in, and he let himself be pulled by the arm away from the crowds, leaving students around whispering.
Craig finally pulled away when they were out of hearing range, scowling. "Fact: we do NOT have a date. You might have one of those Gem things, but that doesn't mean you can just embarrass me like that, whoever you are!" He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "What if I had things to do?"
"Bet you didn't. Bet you were just gonna go home and do homework that's not due for a few days yet."
Craig was silent for a moment. "So what if I was? Fine, then, what is it you want? That is a Soul Gem, right? You aren't pulling some kind of prank on me. Did my opponent put you up to this?!"
Rita made a face and squinted. "Your opponent? What? Less than a week into the gig and you already have a rival?"
"Uh, no." Craig seemed to relax a little bit. "I beat this other guy for Class President and I think he's still mad about it. Well, I'll know if you're lying anyway, so come out with it. Who are you and how do you know my name?"
Rita ran a hand through her hair, smirking. "The name's Rita Park. Glados told me about you. You know, short, white-haired, not all that cheerful?"
Craig blanched and took a step back. "Look, I don't want anything to do with her. Everything about her just doesn't sit right with me. And the last time I spoke with her, she casually informed me that I'm technically dead. It's impossible so I've decided not to think about it or its implications for very long..."
"Oh yeah, she told you that part, huh?" That would explain quite a bit, Rita noted. Glados probably wanted her to talk to Craig in order to make sure the kid hadn't completely lost it. Not everyone took the news very well, after all. "Sorry about that. It's something we all learn sooner or later."
"Sorry about that…? That's really all you can think to say?" Craig narrowed his eyes, then just sighed and slumped a little bit. "Well, it isn't your fault, certainly. I don't know what to think of it. Right now I've been dealing with it by pretending it didn't happen and isn't the case. I sleep like a living person, eat, think, move, breathe, and my body is warm, so I must still be 'alive' enough. At least that's what I tell myself. The facts speak for themselves."
"Ahhh. Denial. Healthy coping strategy." Rita moved to grab Craig's arm again, but he pulled away this time, so she just rolled her eyes. "Look, we're going out for pizza, okay?"
"Don't you mean, 'would you like to go out for pizza?'" Craig stared at Rita again, bearing that same haughty pose she'd seen when he left the school, and then just seemed to wilt. "Fine, pizza's fine. Let me just text my parents to let them know."
Rita fumbled with something in her backpack. "Do you mind if I smoke?"
"Yes, I mind!" Craig snapped at Rita without looking up from his cell. "Do you know how bad smoking is for your lungs and teeth and-and everything?!"
"God, fine. You know, we can't actually get lung cancer or anything like that. Our bodies don't work like that anymore. Now spare me the health lecture and come with me to split a large pepperoni." She didn't have to drag Craig over this time, as the boy followed her, scowling the whole time.
It actually turned out to be half-pepperoni, half-mushroom. Craig was a vegetarian. "So, did you come here to convince me to work with that creepy girl? I don't know what kind of stuff she does, but I want nothing to do with it. I'll bring her that Grief Seed she wants soon, but that's it." He took a sip of ginger ale. "I want to figure out the facts by myself, you understand? No help from that White Queen, or Mr. Fake Expert, or you."
"What a rugged individualist," Rita muttered after swallowing a mouthful of cheese and sodium. "I'm not here to lure you in or anything so crass. I just want to talk to you. Give you both sides of the story so you can figure it out for yourself, okay? I'm pretty sure Beanpole is a lost cause, since the renegade girl has him in her clutches, but maybe you can be made to listen to reason or something."
Craig lowered his eyelids, skeptical. "You have until my drink is finished to make your case. Start now. And if you're going to try using charm on me, don't bother."
"So bossy! Anyway." Rita leaned forward on the table and grinned like a cat. "Glados doesn't force me to work with her or anything like that. It's just that when Kyubey found me, I was all on my own and in over my head. Oh, I loved the adventure, don't get me wrong. I was scared, but in a good way; you can't live without being scared sometimes. The best thing about this gig is learning that there are still monsters out there, the real kind, not the 'awful human' kind, and I can beat 'em myself. There's no feeling more powerful."
She continued, as Craig stared at her with silent expectation. "But it's not something you can do alone. You burn out, eventually, literally and figuratively. The stress gets to be too much and you start feeling low, and when you're feeling low, you burn your Gem faster. Your Soul Gem starts to go black, and then…I don't know, I guess you lose your magic or die or something. It can't be any good, whatever it is. So she shows up, and says she'll help me out, help me learn the ropes in ways Kyubey won't teach me. She also saved me from a Witch when I messed up, so, who was I to turn down a good offer?"
Her gaze began to drift as she leaned on her elbow, stirring her drink. "I know she's harsh. It's like havin' a boss all the time when you don't get paid. She doesn't fit Witches much herself, because if she's dead, our information network is gone. I don't know who all her contacts are but I think most of 'em are like her, experienced magicians with a lot of power. One was an oracle or somethin' before she kicked the bucket. Queenie tells us when Witches might show up, when it's wise to attack a Familiar-that's a baby Witch-or let it bloom into a full-grown Witch, and how to use our powers to the fullest. I mean, do you know what your powers are?"
Craig fidgeted for a moment. "I haven't used them since that first fight. I know I have this hammer I can swing even though it seems like it's too heavy, and I can tell the truth from lies, or something. I was able to use some kind of gravitational force against that monster, but I don't know how. I'd rather discover this for myself."
Rita raised an eyebrow. "It sounds like you'd like Alice. 'I want to know what happens when I do this! What happens if I do that? Hey, can I throw my body off a building and survive if my Gem's intact?' If I didn't know better, I'd say Kyubey invented the whole soul separation process just to keep her alive, because she ain't got the sense the Lord gave a rock." She blew bubbles into her cola and scowled. "You know what I mean? I mean, there's being adventurous and just plain stupid."
Craig studied her for a long time. "You don't seem like someone who is afraid of taking risks. And even though everything you said was technically true, your eyes were shifting, as if you were hiding something. Is that really everything? The full reason you're working with her?"
Rita stared at Craig for a moment. God, this boy, just penetrating people with that stare! Usually she could dominate others with her forceful personality, but this kid just wouldn't back down. No wonder he was such a snob. He knew he could pull it off. She bit her lower lip, glancing away, and tried to formulate an excuse until she remembered what Craig said about his damn lie-detector magic.
"I don't like being alone."
"…Huh?" Craig's steely gaze broke apart, and he stared at her in confusion. Apparently that was not the answer he expected. "That's it? But you have parents, right? I mean, a family, friends? You're a pretty girl, I figure you must have some kind of tough-kid friends group…?"
So, smart, but no tact. Go figure. Rita laughed a bit, though she didn't feel like laughing. "You know what my wish was? 'I want a life of adventure, with never a dull moment.' Funny thing about adventure! It's full of things that are fun to read about, but not so fun to experience." The laughing stopped. "Anyway, to avoid telling a very unpleasant story I don't want to talk about right now, no, I don't have a family. Glados helps keep an eye on me in that sense, too. Chell used to look after me too, but it was in this condescending way, like she knew better because she had a house and a mom and stuff. Glados is at least honest about the fact that she keeps me around for selfish reasons. I hate being pitied; I'd rather just freeze in the streets."
Craig, for once, was silent again, and Rita took that as a cue to continue. "So you see," she added, a little bit of edge in her voice, "Glados may not be the best company in the world, but at least I can trust her to be a jerk. She won't fail me. Besides, I feel like I owe her, and I can't just turn on people if I got obligations to them. She's right about things, usually. She can give the answers no one wants to hear that'll keep us alive, even if we hate ourselves for what we have to do. We have to say alive, Craig. Without us, there's no one to stop the Witches from hurtin' people and driving 'em mad." What was she telling him this for? Was she trying to convince herself?
The sound of clinking ice indicated that Craig had indeed reached the bottom of his drink. He frowned, held the glass up to signal a waiter, and turned back to Rita. "I understand."
"So don't go acting all haughty at me, because-huh?"
"I understand. No, that's not right for me to say. I don't understand, because I've never been alone before. My family are all close, and my parents are both married. I figured from the start it might be harder to earn the respect of my classmates as a neurotic fat kid, so I learned to be outspoken and got involved in Student Government. I made friends there, not all of whom are genuine, but they're company." Craig looked up at Rita with what looked like genuine remorse. "So the idea of being alone, really alone, terrifies me so much that I don't know what I'd do. Maybe I'd work with someone who isn't a very pleasant person if she were company."
After listening for a little while, Rita let out another harsh laugh. "I hope that's not pity, because if it is, I'll kick your ass. I don't care if you're a newbie or not. Anyway, I have a feeling I've not convinced you to the Court's cause. Well, that's what they get for thinking I got any social skills to think of that don't involve shouting." She scratched at her head, beneath the black and green bow in her hair. "Well, whatever. I said my piece. So do whatever you want with it. That said, you should probably show up Sunday. That's the real reason she sent me. Something's going down on Sunday near the docks, and she wants me to gather as many local magicians as I can." She shrugged. "Have no idea why. Anyway, thanks for the pizza, kid." She stood up and turned to leave, walking a few steps before looking over her shoulder at him.
He was sort of cute, in a stuck-up way. It's too bad he was probably as doomed as the rest.
"Oh, that reminds me. If you see a blond magician in pink, let me know? She's kind of dressed like a jester and has a big ol' boomerang. You'll know her because she never shuts the Hell up. She's kind of been scarce lately, and I just want her to check on in."
She adjusted her backpack and walked out of the restaurant, leaving just in time to hear his voice protest from inside.
"But the check! You can't invite someone out and leave them with the check! It just isn't done…!"
"Oh, look! Snow." Kyubey caught a snowflake on his nose. "This must be the first snow of the year, right?"
Despite herself, Glados extended a hand to catch a few of the falling snowflakes. She used to enjoy the sting of the cold against her palm. Nowadays she could at least appreciate their appearance, delicate and short-lived. They melted in her palm.
It was quite a late hour, and Glados was thankful for the light of her Soul Gem. It made it easier to read the screen of her laptop. "Kyubey," she asked him idly as she clicked through useless messages, "do you think they'll leave me, too? My current Court."
"I don't see why it matters. Why would you get attached to them? The odds are high you'll outlive them." Kyubey groomed his tail with his tongue, speaking clearly nonetheless. However he communicated with people, it didn't involve his mouth. "I thought you said you were past that kind of attachment. You've certainly had long enough to get over it."
"I thought I did. Maybe it isn't something humans get over. It irritates me; you'll always be ahead of me because of these damn emotions." Glados tapped one of Kyubey's ears, and it flicked involuntarily. "Trust me. If I could delete them, I would. It would make the solution to our problem a lot easier."
Kyubey looked up at Glados for a few long moments. "It isn't unusual to be afraid of death. It's in your evolutionary programming. I'm sure I've told you that before."
"Yes, but it's my own weakness, and I hate it. Not even this," she said as she lifted her Soul Gem in her hand, "could make me perfect. Not even you could."
"You never wished to be perfect."
"True." She stared out into the night sky, watching an energy ripple erupt into the sky in the distance. It was the calling card of another Witch manifesting. Who was this one? A Familiar reaching full growth after anonymously taking the life of a human? Or…?
"Do you still plan to show them that on Sunday?"
"It's for the best. Even if it kills some of them. That'd mean they weren't going to be able to deal with this life anyway. If you can't cut it as a magician, you're better off fueling the universe. Isn't that what you told me once?"
Kyubey made a noise like a purr. "So, it takes humans a hundred years to even evolve far enough to begin to grasp that, then? No wonder you'll never catch up to us."
Glados's gaze locked onto Kyubey. Her hand reached out to grab his tail, and she abruptly flung him off the building.
Mere minutes passed before his replacement body reappeared, eyes glinting red, as if nothing had happened. "I'm still not sure what that was for! You know I didn't intend it as an insult, just an observation."
"Yes, well, that was me teaching you passive aggression." Glados rolled her eyes. " Now shut up and drink your hot chocolate."