(A.N:/ So, just one more chapter after this until this story is over. Also, for those of you who read my other stories the reason why I haven't updated them in a while is because I'm trying to finish this one so I'm not trying to manage five stories all at once. Anyway, once I'm finished with this I'll probably start updating my badboy!Jeff fic until it's finished (it only has like seven or eight chapters left). As for All Things Go, I will update with that soon! Promise. Hopefully...anyway, new chapter. Enjoy!)
Nick only paused a moment before rushing to Jeff's side, pushing the blade away, and pressing down a dirty shirt that was on the floor against Jeff's wrists. Neither of them said a word; they just sat there in silence, not looking at one another for what felt like an eternity. Eventually Jeff's fresh wounds quit bleeding and Nick removed the shirt, which now had thick red gashes stained into it, and looked down at Jeff's arms, feeling knots in his stomach as he did so. As much as Nick wanted to look away, or just leave and pretend he didn't see anything, he knew he couldn't. Because Jeff needed him and Nick couldn't let him down again.
"Jeff..." Nick finally managed to say, in a low, hoarse voice, as if he hadn't said a word in years. His mouth was dry and his face pale, drained of all colour.
"I'm sorry." Jeff said, looking down at the ground still. He couldn't bring himself to meet Nick's eyes.
Nick's heart sank a little as Jeff shook slightly. At first Nick had thought Jeff was just cold but soon realized that Jeff was silently sobbing. "Jeff..." Nick repeated. "Why are you sorry?" He asked.
"Because you weren't supposed to see this..." Jeff said, gesturing to his arms that were frail and covered in scars ranging from thin and old to fresh and thick. Some healed and others just starting to scab over.
"Why..." Nick asked, not wanting to hear the answer but needing to.
Jeff finally looked up at Nick, eyes that were once full of joy now dull from the harshness of reality. "Why?" Jeff repeated, confused.
"Why did you do it?...Hurt yourself, that is...Why?"
Jeff looked completely taken back for a few moments before finally trying to muster up an answer. "I-I...Nick...no...It's...it's complicated. Y-you wouldn't understand..." Jeff stuttered.
"Then explain it to me." Nick said, softly.
"I can't..."
"Why not?"
Jeff sniffled. "Because you'll hate me." He admitted. Jeff couldn't tell Nick why he started cutting himself. Jeff couldn't tell Nick that he started cutting himself because he caught Nick in bed with some slut that wasn't him and because he was having a shitty day. No way that Jeff could word it would make it sound like it wasn't Nick's fault; and it wasn't. It was Jeff's for making the first cut, or, at least, that's how Jeff saw it.
Nick sighed slightly. "Jeff...Nothing you could do would make me hate you."
Jeff scoffed slightly. "Really? Because when you thought I was talking shit about your girlfriend you seemed to hate me..."
"Ex."
"Excuse me?"
"Ex-girlfriend. Mindy and I broke up-I broke up with her."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not going to let some bitch talk shit about my best friend."
"Nick..."
"You don't have to say anything Jeff...But you do need to tell me why you're hurting yourself."
Jeff looked back down at the ground, shamefully. "No."
"Why not?"
"I can't..."
"Jeff..." Nick paused, trying to think of what to say. "You need help."
"No...It's fine. I'm fine. It's under control."
"Jeff, you're hurting yourself. It isn't under control. You need help."
"No I don't!" Jeff yelled, suddenly.
Nick, startled by Jeff's sudden outburst, gave Jeff a sympathetic look. "Please...for me..."
"I'm fine..." Jeff mumbled as Nick carefully wrapped his arms around Jeff's waist, pulling him closer into a tight embrace.
"Promise me you won't hurt yourself anymore."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes it is though. Just don't hurt yourself anymore." Nick said, slightly frustrated. Nick didn't understand why Jeff was hurting himself, or why anyone would for that matter.
"I...Nick, it isn't as simple as just saying I won't...It's harder than that..."
"Then go get help. Like therapy or rehab or something. Jeff, you need to get better. I don't want you to be hurting anymore."
Jeff scoffed slightly. Jeff had cut himself over Nick multiple times and now Nick was saying that he didn't want Jeff to hurt himself anymore. It was almost hypocritical but then again, Nick had no clue about any of this. "I...I have to go." Jeff said, suddenly getting up and trying to rush out of the room.
Nick caught his arm and Jeff hissed in pain. Nick instantly let go. "Sorry! Sorry-I forgot. Sorry."
Jeff stayed in place and rubbed his arm. "It's fine." He mumbled.
Nick frowned sadly. "No it isn't. You aren't..."
"Yes I am, Nick. You just...you just don't understand."
"Jeff..."
"No Nick, I'm fine. I don't need help because there isn't anything wrong." Jeff said, sternly.
Nick paused for a moment before speaking softly. "H-have you ever...have you ever hurt yourself because of me?" Nick asked, nervously.
Jeff gulped and looked guilty. He didn't even have to answer, his face said it all.
"Jeff...No..."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry? It's my fault you hurt yourself...I shouldn't have pushed you away because of Mindy...If I wouldn't have...I just-I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm so fucking sorry." Nick said, tearing up.
"It's fine-"
"No it's not! Quit acting like everything is all hunky dory because it isn't! Jeff you're hurting yourself and it's my fault!" Nick yelled out, voice cracking halfway through.
"Don't cry Nicky." Jeff said, softly.
"What did I do? To make you...you know."
"Nick, no." Jeff said, warningly.
"I want to know. I deserve to know...I need to know."
"It really isn't your fault. It's more mine than anything else." Jeff said, looking down at the floor and kicking his feet at the floor, awkwardly.
"What do you mean?" Nick asked, desperately.
Jeff mumbled something but Nick couldn't understand what he said.
"What?" Nick asked. "Jeff, ugh, look at me."
"I feel in love." Jeff said, openly weeping again. "Okay? I feel in love with my best fucking friend and caught him in bed with some fucking whore that wasn't me! Okay!" Jeff yelled out, voice hoarse.
Nick didn't say anything for a moment; he just stared at Jeff, confused. "What?" He asked. Jeff words almost felt like a completely different language. It didn't make sense to Nick, he couldn't process it.
"I love you-and not in the 'best friend way'. I love you in the 'go to all your football games, pretend to like your shitty music, play your crappy games, and force myself to be into the same comics as you so we have something to bond over' way." Jeff said, eyes glassy.
"Shit. Jeff." Nick said, voice strained and confusion still on his face. Jeff was about to run out of the room in embarrassment but was stopped when Nick cupped his face and roughly shoved Jeff's face towards his, making their lips connect in a rough, desperate, and sloppy way. It was an awkward, closed mouth kiss that only lasted a few moments but when the two pulled away Jeff looked at Nick with a similar face that Nick had a few seconds ago. "You need help, okay." Nick said.
Jeff shook his head, still not fully back to reality. "Yeah..."
(A.N:/ And that would be the end of this chapter. Just one last chapter before the story is over! :o. Unless I decide to do an epilogue. The way I plan on ending the story it kind of leaves room for one...I might do one...Maybe...I don't know, tell me if you guys want one and if enough of you do then I most likely will...Anyway, hope you enjoyed! I'll try to update again soon!)
\o/