((Sorry for the long wait folks. I was experiencing writer's block and holy hell this chapter turned out to be ten pages on Microsoft Word. Hope you all enjoy it! Also I had to put in the "transition into reality" because for some reason my line divider didn't register with . Maybe someone could help me out with that? I'd appreciate it.))

Chapter 5 – Rusted veins

"Embrace Perfection"

The trees were moving, yet there was no breeze in this isolated place. Their large trunks and bodies were slowly shifting towards his general direction. It felt as if the pulse from his heart was synchronized with every sudden movement the trees made.

"Your efforts are meaningless Shepard."

Neil swung his head behind him, and there was the boy that tormented his soul for the past several months. The boy didn't laugh, cry, or run when Neil spotted him this time. Its expression looked passive and emotionless, though it's judging eyes pierced right through him. He has seen things that would make a normal man burn himself from this universe to the next. However whenever he sees this lonely child it's as if he feels every vein in his body shiver and rust into nothingness. In some ways this boy reminded him of himself, of what he once was and perhaps in some ways what he still is. He was just an orphaned soul wandering aimlessly through an endless forest with no illumination to guide him. Every direction he takes goes back to the same place he started off in. Neil took a step towards the child and tried to speak, but has lost his ability to speak. There was a painful and burning sensation ripping through his throat and all that came out of his mouth with hot gas and his own blood. "Your insubordination only delays the inevitable."

Neil took another step towards the entity, and now a mind numbing migraine began to consume him. His vision zoned in and out, and all he heard were familiar voices crying out for his help. Why was he doing this to himself? What was the use to always chasing after phantoms who've always in turn game him nothing but emptiness. It was as if he was forced to give up part of his own soul whenever these two entities face each other, but from who and why he will never seem to understand. Something in his consciousness seemed to possess him to ask the child for once. What was its purpose here? Was there still a purpose for him to live, or had he already wasted his usefulness in this galaxy and it was time for him to go back to where the lost souls wonder for eternity? He took another step towards the child thinking that he is the key to unlocking all of these answers.

Then at that instant there was a violent tremble in the forest. The child entity caught fire and his piercing irises rolled back into its head only revealing the whites of its eyes. An army of the oily shadows appeared behind him and increased the pressure of the migraine. He really was the cause of millions of deaths; there was no poetic justice in that. There was nothing heroic about that and the shadows' screams were a strong reminder of that. Each one of them represented someone that he could have saved, but instead condemned them to eternal suffering. This was his punishment for as long as he lived, curl up into a pathetic ball while everything in his surroundings judged and condemned him. He tried to stand up and run but even his legs gave up on him. Soon the fires consumed the entire forest and he was surrounded. For the first time since he could remember he felt a wave of helplessness and loneliness flood his inner temple and felt as frightened as that vent child. Just as his impending doom loomed over him, a brilliant flash of light that seemingly came from nowhere melts the majority of the shadows. The hissing and growling voices of the dead were soon replaced with a familiar and soothing voice. He looked towards where the illumination came from and witnessed a beautiful silhouette of a quarian standing over him. A flash of different memories of her took over his consciousness as the silhouette extended a hand out for him. Neil needed this in his life now more than ever, to be attached to this angel behind the mask. He knew that without it doubt that Tali'ZorahFor would be the one to finally guide him to the end of the forest. Just as he shot his arm up to clutch her hand he heard a mind numbing horn that he recognized as a reaper, and it trembled the earth again. His pupils widened as he witnessed his only peace and salvation slowly disintegrating into nothingness.

"You have already lost"

((Transition into reality))

There was a violent tremble in the building which caused Neil to suddenly sit up from his bed and gasp. No, the reapers couldn't be simply marching around and causing havoc now so there was no way that that could have caused it. Did London have earthquakes all the way out on this side of the earth? Last time he checked he didn't recall any faults around this area. Perhaps there was a freak accident that happened at the hospital? Then there was the screaming that was not only inside the hospital, but it was happening inside the refugee camp too. This was certainly no accident. This hospital and the refugee camp are under attack by an unknown enemy. There was another violent tremble that knocked Neil to the floor. The situation is worsening by the second and he needs to desperately get out of this room and find his friends. Just then he heard a *bing* from his omni-tool. An "unknown user" was trying to get a hold of him on his number. This was particularly odd since only Tali and a few people from the Normandy crew have possession of it. He hesitantly activated the comm and established connection with the user.

"Hello?" His voice was groggy after the exhausting dream he just experienced. However, this certainly was no time to be resting. Especially "Wakey wakey Neilio. It's time to wake up to the new day." hearing an eerily familiar voice on the other side of the call. The adrenaline rushed quickly through his veins and his pulse started to beat significantly faster the moment he made the connection.

"Caleb?" He asked anxiously.

"The one and only, mister drama queen." The voice responded chillingly.

Neil opened the blinds from his window and witnessed large plumes of smoke and ash coming from inside the refugee encampment. This looked all too familiar as if his nightmares were beginning to come to life. Sweat broke on his narrowed brows and his clenched fist shook with ire.

"What the hell is going on here Caleb?"

"Oh, you know. I never really did congratulate you properly for stopping the reapers from annihilating us all, and I woke up today in a celebratory mood. So I've taken the liberty to place some fireworks for all to see."

"You are turning people into ash you god damned monster!"

"Hey now I'm not a monster. What do you expect me to do huh? You would think that they would be smart enough to stand at a safe distance and watch. Instead they are running around all willy nilly with their pants pulled down and their clothes on fire. Well, I guess that's simply natural selection doing its work."

"Why on god's earth did they let you out of your cell?"

"Good behavior." Caleb responded apathetically.

Before Neil was able to ask more questions he was cut off.

"Now I know what you're to say. 'How did ya get out of your cell Mister Caleb?'Well isn't that a wonderful question! Though it's not how I got out of my cell is what you should be worried about. It's what I want to do out here now that I'm back in your world. You know what this whole place is full of Shepard? Whiners, I can't stand whiners. They are always so unappreciative of what they have and all they want is more, more, and more!" His voice was becoming more unstable as he spoke.

"And you wanna know what whiners remind me of Shepard? Quarians. Quarians are the epitome of whining. I've seen it first hand with your trusty girlfriend in a can."

He got her. Caleb has the only person that can truly help him out of the pit he was stuck in, and he knew it. This was some sort of cruel children's game that he was forced to participate in, and Caleb was enjoying it far more than he was. Neil lost all of the composure that was left in him and felt his inner beast burst out of him.

"What did you do to Tali you sick son of a bitch!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

"If you had laid a single fiber on her I will hunt you down to the ends of this universe and give you a repeat of the beating I gave you in that interrogation room and I'll never fucking stop. Do you understand that Caleb! I will personally set up the meeting with your dead wife and kid that you killed and have you sent to hell where you will burn, you son of a bitch!"

"Neil! Calm down my friend. Take deep breaths nice and easy."

"You want me to calm down!" Neil said with hint desperation in his voice.

"Yes Neil. Calm down. I get very nervous and anxious when people raise their voice at me. You know what happens when I start to get nervous and anxious? I lash out on the nearest object. And uh, your Tali'Zorah is about three feet away from me so that would make her the closest object. So yes, Tali is just fine and swell Shepard you can have my word on that. Of course we can always change that if you want to continue being a rage machine."

"Please….Neil." He heard her whimpering over Caleb's omni-tool.

"Tali! Please stay strong, I'm coming for you. I'll get you out of there alright? Please don't let him hurt you." His tone was now more desperate and panicked then enraged.

"Alright alright, now give me back the omni-tool like a good girl, there you go. Well that was cute. You know that reminds me Shepard, you never truly answered my question the other day. I am a scientific man Neil. I like to think and figure out how things work in this universe. Are you familiar with the scientific method? You first have to form a hypothesis, gather research, perform an experiment, and if the results match your hypothesis it becomes a theory. While you were attempting to bludgeon me to death in that interrogation room, I formed a hypothesis. I believe that you love Tali'Zorah. I truly do, but is that necessarily true? Well from what I've gathered from my primary source here everything indicates that it is. However, I always have to test my research before I decide if it becomes a theory. So why don't we start right now? If you don't arrive here at room 201 in five minutes, she dies. Can't wait to see you again Neilio. Oh, I almost forgot! Your uh, alliance toy soldiers are feeling a little antsy with their trigger finger today. It truly would be a shame for both of you if a stray bullet happened to hit you square in the face."

Just as the transmission ended he heard bullets being fired into the staff outside of his room. What he saw caught him completely off guard. He witnessed marines, faces that he was familiar with after being here for almost a week, waving alliance colors and massacring unarmed staff and patients indiscriminately. The people he called allies, the people that were giving their lives to protect the helpless, have become the enemy.

"Targets down! Shepard is in this room, breaching on your mark!"

Neil dashed towards the window without second thoughts. The only way he can go to the second floor of the hospital is from the outside.

"Breaching in ten, sir!"

There was no time to simply open up the window. The only plan he had in mind was to pick up a chair and smash the glass open.

"Breaching now!"

By the time the alliance busted through his front door he was just climbing out of the window. He felt the air around him being pierced by thermal shots that were just barely missing him. The air outside was so polluted with smoke and ash that it was hard to breath. Neil scaled down to the second floor and jumped through an open window. He didn't plan on a hostile being present in the room executing a patient. When the marine spun around and aimed his predator heavy pistol at him it was too late. He screamed in agony as Neil got in close and broke both of his arms and snatched his weapon. The pistol was steadily aimed at the marine's head. It was quite ironic how quickly the tables turned on him.

"Why are you murdering civilians? Answer me!"

The marine didn't speak back. Instead as a response, he took a piece of broken glass and attempted to stab the commander's leg. That was the last thing he would ever do before he had his brain matter splattered all over the floor, next to the innocent victim that he murdered. Neil didn't have time to pause and reflect what just happened in the past two minutes. It seemed as if trouble always found him at every end of the damned galaxy. The concept of rest would be foreign to him. He replaced the empty thermal clip in his newly acquired heavy pistol when he then received another call from Garrus.

"Shepard! What's going on around here? All hell is breaking loose! We have alliance marines shooting everyone in the camp. Dozens of makos and a few gunships are destroying every tent that they see. Liara, Vega, and myself got caught off guard and we're trying to make our way out. Everyone seems to be fair game here!"

"I don't know Garrus. But I don't have time right now. The prisoner that killed my doctor escaped and set off several explosives around here. He has Tali and he's threatening to kill her. I'm sorry, we'll talk later."

"Wait, what? Shepard!"

Neil ended the call and moved his way down the hall. He usually isn't easily repulsed at the things he sees, but this situation disgusted him. For the first time in almost four years he finally had his peace but of course it had to be short lived. Now the people who he's fought side by side with have turned against everyone, and a decent man who he once called a friend has turned into a murderous maniac who was hell bent on making people miserable. He's put down rabid animals before, and today he's going to put down another one. He glanced at the room numbers. Room 220, 219, 218, 217. Some of these rooms were opened and were riddled with bullets and splattered with blood. They seemed to be murdering the patients in each room and then dragging them out into the hallways for an unknown reason. He checked the clock and it his five minute mark is almost up. He is not going to lose Tali again, not like this. He used whatever energy he had left in him to sprint towards room Caleb was holding Tali hostage. There was nothing he wanted more than to put every single damned thermal clip into Caleb's head, take Tali away from this horrible place and hide themselves away on some corner of the galaxy. Garrus and the rest of the crew are more than capable enough to catch up with them later. Room 201, this was the place. Neil desperately wanted to shoot Caleb with every damned thermal that was left in this pistol, hide away with Tali in some corner of the galaxy and protect her from any trouble that may inflict harm upon her. Though of course, things usually don't go according to planned.

As he busted through the door he definitely saw Caleb in all of his pathetic glory, but he didn't anticipate that there would be someone else aiming a pistol at his forehead.

"Neil, oh keelah I'm so sorry. I can't…" Tali sobbed.

"Tali….why?" Neil gasped.

Caleb was simply sitting back comfortably as he watched the scene play out in front of him.

"Didn't expect that to happen, eh Neilio?" He said playfully. Caleb seemed to be wearing some doctor's uniforms now rather than prisoner garments. "Now drop the gun and kick it towards me."

Neil reluctantly followed his orders and then said "What the fuck is going on here Caleb?" Neil didn't even know what he was feeling right now. Everything externally and internally seemed to spiral completely out of control.

"What does it look like Mr. Fabio? It's my experiment. I want to know if you truly love her."

"I can't resist it Neil, I can't…so sorry." Tali continued sobbing.

A glowing ball of blue energy appeared floating above Caleb's palm, and as a result Tali then put the pistol to side of her helmet.

"NO!" Neil shouted.

"Now now, calm down. How would I get my results if I just killed her off right now?"

"Indoctrination. That's how you are doing all of this. That's why you wanted to be in that cell, there was an indoctrination device set up there and you knew it."

"Wow. You know Neil I'm not going to lie. I think you should have signed up for the C-sec investigator gig. It would have suited you better." Caleb said mockingly.

"Fuck you bosh'tet." Tali snapped at Caleb.

"That's my girl." Neil grinned.

Caleb didn't find the amusement however. He activated the blue energy which caused Tali to take aim and fire on Neil's general direction and yelped in panic. The bullet just barely missed him.

"You think experiments are funny Shepard? You think I'm just some joker? I warned you that this would happen, and you simply waved it off. People are always living on the edge of insanity, and all it took to make any of this possible was a little persuasion by me."

"You insane fucking monster."

"Crazy?" Caleb said amused.

"You haven't seen nothing yet. And I'm no monster Neil, I told you that. I'm simply a realist. Now where were we? Ah, that's right." He activated the energy and had Tali place the pistol back to the side of her head. Caleb then activated all of the lights in the room and revealed another hostage that was tied up to a chair.

"Since I know you are such a big fan of making tough decisions I took the liberty to make one for you. See this charming young lad here? His name is Stephan, someone you've never met before. Just another wee ol' stranger in your life. Poor Tali over there is under a lot of stress right now, and being under a lot of stress may make her think of irrational thoughts of suicide. Now why do you think that she's stressed out right now? Well, besides of me watching her, she believes that she hasn't won over your heart yet. I told her that's simply nonsense, and that I can prove otherwise." Caleb got off the couch and started pacing around the room.

"You won't get away with this you sick bosh'tet. The entire galaxy will hunt you down like the sick animal you are!" Tali bellowed at him.

Caleb walked up close to Tali and smirked at her.

"The entire galaxy hunting down little ol' me?" He dipped his head down to hers, breathing heavily on her helmet.

"I am counting on it, Pocahontas." He patted her shoulder and went back to pacing around his other hostage.

"So there are two ways I can let her out of my control Shepard, and the decision is completely up to you. If you want to prove to poor Tali that she has indeed stolen your heart, you simply have to steal Stephan's heart. As in, pick up those surgical knives over there and cut out his heart. However, if you don't have the guts to butcher this man, we will see little bits of Tali'zorah all around the room." Caleb said without emotion.

"Please…commander Shepard. Please don't do this to me I'm begging you." Stephan pleaded.

"I have a wife and...and I'm going to be a father soon. I'm the only thing she has left in this galaxy. Please don't do this."

"Yeah Neil! You can't simply kill off this fellow and leave his pregnant widow-to-be hanging around by herself right?" Caleb said with a mocked tone.

"Isn't that right Tali'zorah? You don't want your dashing boyfriend to literally rip out someone's heart for you right?" Caleb teased.

Tali couldn't bring herself to say anything. All that was coming out of her vox were sobs and whimpers.

Neil had to beat down the rage that was building up in him. He couldn't bare to handle hearing and seeing his angel in distress like this. He needed to think of something, there was always another way.

"Well are you just going to sit there like a bumbling idiot or do you want me to choose for you? I have better things to do today than sit around in a burning hospital." Caleb said irritated.

Neil didn't answer back at first; he simply glared at Caleb with upmost disdain. He then looked at Stephan who was still pleading and whimpering for his life. He's made decisions that caused the deaths in possibly millions of lives. Difficult choices he still hasn't forgiven himself over. But this was just simply too much. This wasn't the time of war where some things can simply be justified and forgiven. This was during a time of peace where people where beginning to pick up broken fragments of their lives and piece them back together. He wanted to be with Tali until the end of times, but the only way he can have her now is to sacrifice the man that he is. Take the coward's way out.

"I have a better idea Caleb. How about I take these knives here, and I cut open your chest to see where your heart is? Because to me it seems like you are lacking one."

"Oh how poetic of you. You think words will help you get out of this one? It's either him or her Shepard."

"Then I choose both of us. I don't want to sacrifice my morals just to play your damn games, and I will not live in this world without her. If you are so determined to kill both of us, then I want to die by her side with my dignity intact. Something that you seemed to have lost the moment your family died on you. Is that what this is about Caleb? Just some type of desire for revenge, and your using me as a scapegoat?"

Caleb glared back at Neil for a few moments before speaking.

"You think this is just some type of pathetic quest for revenge Neil? That phase long passed. I am simply showing you the harsh realities of living in this universe. The more you get exposed to it, the more you will be able to make competent decisions that will benefit people in the long run. And it will start with her death."

Caleb gritted his teeth and activated the blue ball of energy.

"NO. CALEB PLEASE NO!" Neil yelled out desperately.

He was waiting for the shots to ring out. Braced to see something that would scar him for the rest of his life. Witness the murder of Tali'zorah vas Rannoch, the one person who he truly loved with every part of his being.

But to his surprise, no shots rang out. Caleb looked just as awe struck and confused as he did. It looked like lady luck has struck again, since the indoctrination device seemed to have stopped working which stopped most of the fighting in the hospital and in the refugee camp. Most importantly Tali now has her free will back. When she realized this she pointed the pistol at a now panicked struck Caleb.

"Well, you certainly didn't expect that to happen did ya Caleb?" Neil said with a grin on his face.

Caleb glared back at Neil, not looking as amused.

"Things usually don't go according to planned. But that doesn't mean that you cannot form new ones to overcome an existing problem."

Suddenly a glowing blue aura of biotic energy surged out of his body knocking everyone but himself to the floor. He used this opportunity to pick up Neil's escape the room and dart down the hallway.

"Tali!" Neil decided to go tend to her first. She was clearly and understandably shaken up, but she managed to make out a few words.

"Neil…go. Go after him and kill him. He needs to die."

"You don't need to tell me twice. Take care of yourself; I'll be coming back for you."

Neil picked up the pistol that Tali was holding and dashed after Caleb. He saw him down the hallway and fired off a few shots. His aim was so piss poor that it would have made Garrus shake his head in disappointment.

Caleb then seemed to dart off to the left and jump down the stairs. When Neil arrived at the top of the stairs Caleb took a few shots at him, but missed due to Neil's quick reflexes and ability to avoid getting shot. He cursed and continued running down the stairs. Neil quickly followed him down the stairs. When he made it down he was blown back by a powerful biotic blast. However it wasn't aimed at him. He saw Liara walk down the hallway with the same intimidating, fiery biotic aura that Caleb had.

"You!" She yelled out.

"I was wandering when the new incompetent shadow broker would drop in!" He heard Caleb yell back.

Liara responded with powerful biotic throw that Caleb deflected with shocking ease. Liara now looked a lot less confident in her abilities then she did a minute ago.

"What…how?"

She was then biotically lifted up to the air, and then was hit with a devastating lash against the wall knocking her unconscious.

Neil then arrived at the scene pointing the gun at Caleb.

"You are going to pay for everything you did here you son of a bitch!"

He fired several rounds at him, but to his dismay they all bounced off a biotic barrier that Caleb had on him.

"Like I said Shepard. Form new plans on the spot to overcome tough situations. Hell, even the Alliance taught us that."

Neil was then biotically lifted into the air and then violently lashed down onto the floor. He yelped out in pain when he felt some of his ribs crack on the impact.

He tried getting back up, but pain and pressure was to much to do it himself. He tasted his own blood that streamed down his lips due to unintentionally biting his own tongue.

"You thought the tables turned on me Shepard. But now you and your friends will be dicking around this burning hospital and that damned refugee camp while I simply walk out the front door over there. I'm sure that you've already been used to that feeling by now though. With getting the crap kicked out of you by Kai Leng and letting Thessia along with its inhabitants burn."

Neil's pupils widened when Caleb said that. How did that information get leaked?

"Ah yes, I know about that Neilio. I thought better of you back then, I certainly would of thought that you would have been able to kill Mister High Horse Galactic Samurai right then in there. But I can't be right on all my predictions."

"What….?" Was the only thing Neil was able to say.

"Oh, and by the way Shepard? The Illusive Man says that you owe him a new chair."

Caleb took several steps back, and then activated a small device that he held in the palm of his hand. That was the last thing Neil saw before being blasted several feet backward and being consumed by the bright white light from his nightmares.

Caleb was true to his promise for the most part. He simply walked out of the front door while whistling and smelling the pleasant smell of ash and burnt flesh that was caused by him. A drop ship was waiting for him and he casually jumped in and flew away, looking down over the charred remains of the once beautiful London.

Neil only caught a few glimpses of his silhouette by the time he regained consciousness. He wanted to charge after him turn him into glue, but he was held back by Tali'Zorah clutching onto him for her dear life. He heard her sobbing uncontrollably, and felt her cold vox nuzzle into his neck. Neil's body was not in good shape. Pieces of his clothes have been burned off, and a lot of his skin suffered extensive burns from the blast. His body felt completely numb. The last thing he saw before blacking out completely was Garrus and Vega arriving at the scene. They both looked completely shocked and horrified at what they were witnessing. What pained him more was what he heard before the blackness consumed him. Tali's painful and gut wrenching wailing when she felt Neil's body become limp and fade back into the other realm he always wanted to avoid.