Thank you so much for the lovely reviews!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or concepts. BBC & RTD do.
Jack took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be pretty. He strode forward and the cog door rolled noisily out of the way for him. Owen, Tosh and Gwen were standing near the couch. Owen headed towards Jack immediately.
"Alright Jack, this better be good. If you've done anything that could hurt that boy I swear I'll.."
"You'll what, Owen?" asked Jack mildly.
"I'll find the slowest, most painful way to kill you and I'll do it over and over," Owen growled.
"Careful Owen; if I didn't know better I'd almost think you cared." They stared at each other for a few moments before Jack broke it off.
"Right, let's take this to the conference room. Gwen, bring those notes you were writing up."
"Notes on what?" asked Tosh as they walked.
"Notes on retcon, and what happens when you recover your memories after being retconned." They reached the conference room, Jack moving to one side of the table whilst Tosh and Owen sat opposite. Gwen came in a moment later with her folder and took the chair beside Jack.
"So you've been researching this behind our backs?" asked Owen.
"Unlike you Owen, Gwen didn't have anything more urgent to, so I asked her to dig up any info she could find on the mainframe and in the archives. Yes, I asked her not to mention it to you yet, because I wanted to have all the information to hand before we sat down to discuss it. That's all it was."
Owen looked unimpressed. He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms.
"So.. what did you find?" asked Tosh. Jack looked at Gwen.
"Well," she said, "There's a few interesting things. For starters, they were never able to develop a retcon which was capable of blocking memories completely. The memories are always still there, and it's always possible for them to be triggered. Secondly, the memories can be triggered by anything which reminds the subject of something which happened in the missing time, although people and places are much less effective than objects."
"We knew this already," interrupted Owen impatiently. "What about long-term memory losses?"
"It seems to be basically the same. Important or meaningful objects are the best triggers, and memories can be recovered fully. It can take longer though – although the more meaningful the object, the quicker it's effect. There was one guy who lost 30 years of his life -it was an accidental overdose -and it took three weeks of getting him to look through his own possessions before an expensive watch his mother had given him triggered the full memories to return."
"The full memories?" asked Tosh. "Does that mean there can be partial memory return before that?"
"Sort of," said Jack. "I believe it comes in the form of 'flashes' -brief moments of seeing an image from your memory, and also sometimes in dreams." Gwen nodded.
"OK," said Owen. "So we know how to get his memories back. But that doesn't answer the question of whether we should, nor does it tell us whether the false memories Ianto has created will clash with his new ones and cause him additional harm."
"I think I can answer the second one," Gwen said. Jack leaned forward -he hadn't come across anything mentioning this in the papers he'd gone through.
"I found a case where they actually did that intentionally. They retconned six months of this subject's life away, and lied to him about what he'd been up to in that time. Then they waited a week before starting to try and trigger his memories."
"What happened?" asked Tosh. Gwen had a captive audience now.
"Well, obviously he believed the lies at first, and even started to 'remember' them -his mind filled in the blanks according to what he'd been told. Then, when his memories were triggered, the false memories just faded, like a dream. The subject's own words were," she read from the sheet in front of her, "'what I believed I had done now seems like a vague dream and not at all real.' It didn't cause him any problems at all." There was a collective sigh of relief from around the table.
"Right, so one last question then," said Jack. "Do we have the right?"
There was silence. No one wanted to be first to speak. Jack looked across the table.
"Owen?"
Owen shifted uneasily.
"I don't think we do. I want Ianto back, sure -I miss the coffee, and he was just so bloody dependable, it's not the same without him skulking around in the shadows. And that dinosaur in the rafters seems to have permanent PMS without him around to placate her. But he chose to leave, and he specifically asked us not track him down."
"But the situation's changed!" cried Tosh. "He left because Torchwood wasn't the same without Jack. He left because he believed Jack didn't care about us and wasn't coming back." Jack felt another stab of guilt pierce him. "But he was wrong, and I know that if he'd known how soon Jack would return, he'd never have left in the first place."
"I agree with Tosh," said Gwen. "Jack, we were all struggling when you disappeared, but it hit Ianto hardest of all. Not that he talked to us about it of course -but he became even quieter, wouldn't go to the pub with us any more, spent all his time in the archives. Eventually we pulled ourselves together and got on with things -but Ianto never seemed to get his balance back. So this is on your head. However, Tosh is right. If Ianto knew you were here now, his choice would be different. I think he would want to come back."
Jack took a deep breath.
"I'm more sorry than you can imagine at the hurt that my leaving has caused. If I could have chosen how it happened, it would have been very different, but I wasn't given the option. I hope you girls are right, and his decision would be different now, because I really don't want to lose him. He means a lot to me. And no, Owen," he cut in, seeing the doctor open his mouth, "I don't just mean 'cause we were shagging." There was a pause, then he added thoughtfully: "Also, I think there is a kind of inevitability about it."
"Inevitability? Like fate, or destiny?" asked Gwen. Owen snorted.
"Maybe something like that," said Jack, ignoring Owen. "Think about it -Ianto went to some effort to move into a quiet neighbourhood, and get a quiet job that didn't involve coming anywhere near the bay, and to do so in a suburb which Torchwood rarely visits. How often have we been out that way in the last few years? Maybe twice? Yet, within five weeks of Ianto leaving, we're there. And we just happen to stop off on the way back -something we wouldn't normally do, especially with a sedated alien in the back, and it just happens to be the same little cafe where he's working now? That's a hell of a lot of coincidence."
A brief moment passed.
"I don't really believe in fate," said Tosh. "But if I did, this would be more than convincing. And I want Ianto back, and I believe he would want to come back if he knew everything. I say we should do it."
"Me too," said Gwen.
"What, so we're taking a bloody vote on Ianto's life now?" sputtered Owen.
"No, we're not actually," said Jack. "But I would be happier doing this if I had your support."
Owen rubbed his face with both hands in a tired and frustrated gesture.
"Fine," he muttered.
"Look," offered Jack. "The worst thing that can happen is that he gets his memories back, and tells us that we got it wrong. If that happens, we give him another dose of retcon, send him back to his cafe, and leave him in peace."
"Really? You'd let him go?" Owen was surprised.
"If that was what he really wanted.. yes. I have no desire to force anyone to be here."
Owen nodded grudgingly.
"Alright then, I can agree to that."
Jack beamed.
"OK, so, how do we go about it?" asked Gwen.
"Well, there are a few complications. The fact that he's been living under a new identity for over a month could reduce the effectiveness of some triggers, so we'd have to find something particularly meaningful. And we can't just tell him the truth about what's happened, he won't believe it and he'll probably refuse to have anything else to do with us. So we have to let him maintain his current life for some weeks, at least until the memories are triggered in full."
"Can we see him?" asked Tosh. Jack hesitated.
"I think if we all started turning up at that little cafe he'd get a bit freaked out. But maybe if it's not too often. Maybe weekly?" Tosh grinned, delighted.
"Except for you, right Captain?" commented Owen sarcastically.
"Well, I told him I was a regular customer. He expects me to be there several times a week. At least." Jack's smile was just a little bit smug as he sat back in his chair. He was going to get his Ianto back.
"So you've visited 'Tristyn' several times, then?" asked Owen bitterly. "You haven't already slept with him as well, have you?"
"Owen!" cried Tosh. They were back in the main part of the hub.
"No, thank you Owen; I've a little more propriety than that," replied Jack. "I've just been having coffee. Although, today he sat and chatted to me on his break. Said it was weird, but it felt like he'd known me for years." Jack grinned cheekily.
"Well that's a good sign," said Gwen. "That's what happened for most subjects -people & places being inexplicably familiar."
"So, we need to find an object of Ianto's, right?" asked Owen. Now that the decision had been made, he was happy to try and help get Ianto back -he did want him back after all. He just hadn't been certain it was the right thing to do.
"That could be a bit difficult," said Tosh. "When he first disappeared and we were looking for clues, I searched the Tourist Office, remember? And he'd cleared it out. No personal items left."
"He cleared his things from my bunker too," said Jack.
"Ianto kept things in your bunker?" asked Gwen, wide-eyed. That didn't sound like the casual relationship she thought they were having.
"Just a few -change of clothes and overnight stuff, for convenience." Jack ignored the implications in Gwen's question.
"So what happens if we can't find anything?" asked Tosh, suddenly concerned. "We apparently need an object that will be a strong reminder of his time here, but we don't even have any to choose from."
"I don't know," sighed Jack. "We'll just have to keep an eye out and see if we can find anything. Hopefully he missed something. In the meantime," he switched back to business mode, "there's rift activity predicted for tonight, so let's make sure we're organised and ready for whatever comes through." He headed to his office as the others grumbled and went to their own workstations.
A few days later they were having a quiet morning with no rift activity predicted, so Jack suggested they could use the opportunity to visit Llanishen. He took the SUV since Tristyn had already seen him driving it, and made sure he arrived a few minutes before the rest of the team.
"Good to see you again, sir." Tristyn's smile was genuinely warm. Jack had always found Ianto attractive but this open happiness was magnetising. He couldn't help but grin equally in return.
"Good to see you too. The usual, thanks."
"Coming right up."
"Busy in here today," Jack commented. Tristyn flushed.
"Jessie says the word's gotten out about my coffee, but I think it's just coincidence."
"Oh no," Jack laughed. "I've tasted your coffee, and I'd have to agree with her." Tristyn ducked his head again, clearly embarrassed. Jack took his coffee and chose a table near the counter this time, partially for it's closeness to Tristyn, and partially so he could keep an eye on the team when they arrived. He pulled out a newspaper and flicked through it, not really reading.
A minute later he saw Owen's car pull up, and the three teammates piled out. Jack saw Owen say something to the girls before they came in. Then he led them straight to the counter, and gave Tristyn his order.
"What did you two want?" he said to Tosh & Gwen.
"Flat white, no sugar, thanks," said Tosh, then nudged Gwen who was struggling not to stare at Tristyn.
"Oh, sorry, flat white, two sugars." Owen paid for all three and then steered the girls to a table near the window. He tried but failed to prevent Gwen getting the seat facing the counter, and within moments Gwen was looking straight at Tristyn again. Jack groaned inwardly. It didn't matter how well Gwen understood a situation when discussing it beforehand, once she was in the thick of it her emotions tended to overrule logic and sense every time. It was a problem and a liability. He reached up to activate his comms.
"Gwen, eyes on your coffee. Tristyn's going to be creeped out if you keep staring like that," he muttered, whilst glancing down at his newspaper. Gwen's eyes suddenly flicked down to her drink as Owen sent a look of gratitude to across the room to Jack. Luckily, the busy crowd of the cafe was keeping Tristyn plenty occupied, so he hadn't had a chance to notice.
Jack continued to half-read the paper, a little bit frustrated that he couldn't hear their conversation. Pity one of them hadn't accidentally left their comms open. At a glance though, he could probably guess what they were saying. Owen was sighing contentedly over his quality coffee fix. The girls were all smiles and Gwen would be making a comment about how happy and healthy Tristyn looked. Jack had to agree -even on a busy day like this, when the work never stopped, Tristyn had an air of satisfaction with life and work. He smiled at customers, joked with his co-workers and took pride in his job.
Jack could understand why Owen had been concerned about the morality of intentionally triggering Ianto's memories; he was clearly happy here, and they could ruin that. But it could always be fixed again, and Jack couldn't consider leaving him be. No, they had to bring him back, and then let him make his choice. If he chose this mundane life over Torchwood again, then so be it, but Jack had to hope that that wouldn't be the case.
Tristyn appeared from behind the counter, clearing the table next to Jack. He nodded at the newspaper.
"Quiet one at your work then? No paperwork today?"
"No, left it behind for once. Wasn't in the mood this morning."
"Ah, to be the boss, and simply not be 'in the mood' for work," Tristyn teased, and Jack laughed.
"One of the perks, for sure. Delegation, that's another good one," he joked.
"And I'm sure you make good use of it." Tristyn grinned. He picked up his tray, now loaded with dirty cups and used serviettes. "If you'll excuse me." Jack glanced across the room as Tristyn left, and caught his team watching him: Tosh smiling, Gwen smirking and Owen rolling his eyes.