Super Battle Sunday

"Woah, no way!"

"That calls for a red flag ! Definitely an indirect attempt at hitting the trainer!"

"Come ON, Ref, get it together! Make the call!"

The group's urgings, however desperate, did nothing to persuade the judge on the television screen.

The only girl in the room suddenly spoke up. "Which person did you say is the wigglytuff's trainer?"

"Dear Arceus, Walter! Educate your girlfriend!"

"Calm down, calm down," Walter said. Then, to Emily, said, "It's Azrael's. He's the challenger. The one with the garchomp is Cynthia."

"Well, I knew that much," Emily pouted, not enjoying being made fun of by everyone else.

"Woah, woah, woah! Look at that!"

Everyone sat on the edge of their seats as the wigglytuff took in a deep breath and exhaled a massive blizzard, hitting the garchomp and damaging it badly.

A chorus of mixed groans and cheers went through the room.

"Come on! I'm betting on Cynthia! Garchomp can't lose already!"

"That's right, Wigglytuff! Show that overgrown dragon who's boss!"

"Are we still only in the third battle?" Emily complained.

"You don't have to be here if you don't wanna be," one of the other guys pointed out.

"We don't want you here if you're just going to complain."

She pouted again and suddenly stood up. "Fine. I'll leave."

As she headed for the door, Walter stood up as well and followed her.

"Aw, come on, Walter! Don't let her ruin your day!"

"Chicks will be chicks, after all," another guy said.

"Yeah, don't be ridiculous!"

Walter rolled his eyes. "I still think it's still silly that we're watching it on TV when we're right next to the stadium... It'd probably be more exciting to just stand outside the stadium and listen to the roar of the crowds. Anyway, I want to get my car out of here before everyone leaves the stadium after the battle's over." Walter shut the door behind him so as to stop any more complaints.

Another of the guys rolled his eyes. "Figures. He's always like this."

"Bros before hoes, guys. Remember that."

"For sure."

"Hey hey, look at that! Garchomp still beat wigglytuff even after that blizzard!"

"Knew garchomp would pull through! It always does!"

"Who's up next?"

There was a flash of light on the television, and a beartic appeared.

"Ooh, Azrael's getting serious now."

"You mean he wasn't serious before?"

"Nah, man. I know all the stats on this guy. His wigglytuff rarely knocks out anything. His beartic, on the other hand…"

"Rapes the shit out of everything, doesn't it?"

"Got that right."

"Cynthia's getting serious, too!"

"Did she really just order Draco Meteor?"

"She never does that unless she's desperate!"

"Just goes to show how good of a matchup this is!"

They all watched the television expectantly, waiting for the fire and brimstone to fall from the sky.

They didn't have to wait long. The meteors rained down precisely on the house they were in, incinerating them all instantly. And one stray meteor hit the car that Walter and Emily were driving away in, causing them to swerve off the road and fall in a river or something. And the car exploded, for good measure.

"Whoops," Cynthia said for millions of viewers to hear as she realized her garchomp's mistake.

The End

Word Count: 648

For those of you who do not live in the U.S. and therefore are not dragged into the nation's biggest day of time wasting, money spending, gluttony and stupidity, then let me tell you that this is a very direct parody of the Super Bowl, which took place yesterday.

Yes, I watched. But only in the very indirect way of, "I played KH: BBS whenever the game was on and looked up whenever the commercials started." But I regret that now, 'cuz now I have homework and I didn't get much writing done this weekend, AND the commercials weren't all that great this year. So I decided to screw with the whole event. I wasn't originally planning on writing a crack fic quite yet, but the opportunity was too good and it was something short so I could get some of Defenders of Warmth written today.