Thanks for the reviews and adding my stories to your favorites list! Another odd assortment of rules and situations that have come up. Anyone draw and is part of deviant art? Rule 25 mentions sketches, which I can't draw but would be cute. Only the first two. The others mentioned actually exist there already by those artist names.
My brain is fried from work today so these are a bit more basic. I'll be heading to bed early I'm so beat. And the rule with Hound and the girls was hard to write and keep the fun, clean effect of the rule going. And in NEST, the S stands for Supporters as in humans and T for Transformers. Sounds cooler than humans, squishes or fleshlings and mondo alien robots.
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1. Do not hide, confiscate or remove human's coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, chocolate candy, donuts, sugar, or other preferred food items as a joke or in retaliation for a prank or perceived prank. They will not take it well.
2. Do not attempt to get humans to eat healthy. They are sentient enough to make their own dietary choices, however self-destructive. Refer to Rule # 1. You can report them, however, to the human Chief Medical officer via his email.
9. Do not "DARE" any human or Autobot to take any action that is unsafe, risky or hazardous to themselves or other personnel. *Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Jazz, Bumblebee, Samuel Witwicky
10. Do not use the excuse, but it was a dare! To explain behavior or damage, to a superior office and NEVER TO RATCHET or Mikeala Banes. They will inflict damage worse than the resulting injury of said dare. *Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Jazz, Bumblebee, and any other mech in medbay.
16. Do not use Cybertronian scanning technology for the personal use of humans unless first clearing it with the supporters chain of command, Captain Lennox and Epps.
"I admit, this particular instance never crossed my processor. I can imagine requests for cheating, enemy detecting but never anything involving female humans and water.
Hound had returned from a scouting mission, relaying critical information on possible Decepticon movements while mud had literally dropped off his alt form. Pieces of branches, twigs and small rocks only added to the mess.
::Hound, please attend to the wash racks. I don't want the janitors complaining again:: Optimus Prime
::Worried they'll sling mud on our species personal hygiene habits?:: Hound.
:: Groan. Just get yer aft moving. And quit spending so much time with the humans. They're a bad influence:: Ironhide.
Hound laughed, rolling outside when he noticed several female human begin to follow him. They were carrying scrub brushes, buckets, polishing rags and dressed in shorts and tank tops. Four more females so attired stood around the outer rinse grid of the wash rack.
"Can I help you ladies?" he asked, as they surrounded his alt form.
"Only by holding still. We are going to wash you like you have never been washed."
"That is not, uh, necessary. I am fully capable…" he stopped as the tall buxom redhead leaned forward, placing a hand on his hood.
"Shh, we owe you. The water is warm, now hush sweetie." They laughed, and began spraying him with water. He closed his external links, determined to let nothing interrupt this moment. It was Epps who walked by, drooled for a minute, and then told the other Transformers.
::Hound, what is your status?:: Optimus Prime
::Hmmm, I'm fine. Getting the mud cleaned off:: Hound
::So I've been informed. And the reason there are human females only draped across you?:: Optimus Prime
::I, uh, helped them last week with a personal matter.:: His mental tone held a certain sheepishness.
:Helped how?:: Prowl ::
::How personal?:: Sideswipe
::The redheaded Captain found a clip of herself and several others going in and out of the main shower room. I used my scanning equipment to find the camera feed. Several of them in fact. I traced them back to a single source on base, and had to call the MP's. Those femmes were ready to tear him apart.::
::And?:: Prime prompted.
::I'll let them explain:: Hound
::Captain Jorgensen here sir. This is nothing except a simple thank you. We are putting on a show for the guys, that when they ask why, they have a vivid reminder of no sneaking in videos and how we girls remember things like that::
::Washing accomplishes that?:: Optimus Prime
:Dressed and moving like we are? Oh yah. They'll remember. Let us handle this our way ::
::As you wish, command clear:: Optimus Prime
That week, Hound got washed and polished so many times Sunstreaker was jealous of his paintjob. Hound confided to the others he felt like hiding rather than be the center of so much human attention. Captain Lennox finally had to order the girls to stop as they were interrupting base activity. And the fact his wife Sarah was due in that weekend for a visit.
25. No visual media of our existence, without previous clearance, is allowed. Including photos, sketches, video imaging and more.
Prowl turned his head, making sure his door was closed and secured, as per regulations. A signal from his right palm and a secret hatch of his desk slid open noiselessly. Several pieces of human artwork were slid out. He grinned, starting with his favorite.
Five cartoon panels, each stacked on top of each other. The first showed baby bot Megatron and Optimus like robots sitting in on the floor. Each held a rattle with an Autobot and Decepticon symbol. Second panel showed Megatron glaring as Optimus bot snuggled his blanket. Third panel showed Megatron reaching, red eyed, screaming "I want them all!" The fourth panel was a dust cloud showing a fight. The last panel had Prowl laughing. Megatron baby bot was tied up on his back with the Decepticon symbol wrapped around his limbs while Optimus bot snuggled his blanket. "Mine."
Blinking fluids from his optics, Prowl hid the sketch back, and then pulled out the next. "I still need to thank Bumblebee for explaining this one to me. I would never have gotten the joke without watching Pinky and the Brain cartoons."
A lab rat cage held two mini bots looking like Starscream and Megatron only they had ears, tails and pink noses. "What are we going to do tonight Lord Megatron?" Starscream asked. "What we do every night, try to take over the world" Megatron answered.
More sketches followed. Bumblebee as a sparkling signed by artist Middernacht. Optimus Prime as a moose signed by artist Folkeye. Various mechs as femmes. The Decepticon leader, the Fallen, face down and crushed with Optimus Prime standing over him yelling 'Get up!"
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Circuits flared when the emergency alarm sounded. In one quick motion the sketches were hid back in the niche and Prowl shot to his feet, running for the door. "This better not be a drill again."
83. When a human runs up and says, "We have an emergency and need you" (even if you know it is a drill or non-emergency) Do NOT answer:
a. How is that my problem fleshling?
b. Scream, run in circles, and transform back and forth as though panicking.
c. Charge your weapons and point them at said human until they leave or faint.
d. Come back in fifteen minutes, I'm on break.
e. Tell the mechs, emergencies are their problems. I'm a femme.
f. I got symbols all over me but 911 ain't one of them.
g. If you need me, it's not an emergency but a disaster!
h. Call your President and Congress, they probably created this situation.
i. Yah, yah, I got that memo. Forwarded it to someone who cares.
j. Now who died and where do we stuff the body this time?
k. Any other response not deemed appropriate by Cybertron command. *Twins, Ironhide, Arcee, Chromia, Skids, Mudflap, Jazz, Hound, Bumblebee and the rest of you slackers.
Several breems later, Optimus nudged the office door open, careful not to damage with the prone Autobot form he was carrying in his arms.
::Are you sure Prowl is functional Ratchet?:: Optimus Prime
::It is a glitch in his logic processor. It temporarily overloads. He offlines, or faints as the humans put it. And this time it was your fault, not the twins. Lucky for you, the last memory chip fails when he offlines. Set him here. I'll bring him back online and within normal functioning parameters shortly.:: Ratchet
Prime's vents cycled, cooling his internal systems. "How was I to know he missed the briefing on where our funds came from? After all, the new liaison had started it with his screaming over the cost of a readiness drill that actually used the alarm and live weapons. He demanded how we could afford that and I explained it. They stole their technology from Megatron to fund Sector Seven and other operations. Only fair we use it now. Our tech, our sacrifices to protect this world."
Ratchet snorted. "It was you insisting on suing the patent office, the government, and calling on the President of the United States as a witness if any disputes over royalties came up that Prowl offlined over."
"I was not serious."
Prowl groaned as internal systems rebooted. The others left hurriedly, monitoring the room and their friend from a distance.
"Where was I?" he glanced down at the datapad, and then half remembered. "The rules, yes the rules."
92. Do not abuse the use of drive thru windows. They are made for human convenience at coffee stands, fast food, banks, dry cleaners, and wedding chapels. Using holographic drivers to pull pranks and posting the result on the internet is absolutely forbidden. Please refer to previous rules regarding use of holographic drivers. *You know who you are, plus the usual twins.
122. Do not take offense when the humans get our battle cry wrong. Explain what it means without threatening undue harm, bodily injury or imminent death. *Any mech or femme
Prowl rubbed his headplate, his processors feeling like something was missing. He shrugged, copying the human gesture as he remembered it. "Our cry has never been till all are out. Doesn't even sound like fill all up. And if they had listened, instead of charging forward while screaming it would not have sounded like till all are won or bill all won, or any other variation. If they would think about our past and…"
Beep beep beep
He glanced at his wrist monitor, seeing the recharge cycle warning. "Already? Have to ask Ratchet to recalibrate my systems…" Slipping into recharge, he slumped forwards, his head laying on his hands as his optics closed. Optimus walked in, shutting down the data pad then turned and patted Prowl's shoulder.
"Rest old friend. Rules and order are important but remember we are a family. Till all are one.