4. I do but I don't

It was 10 past seven. Not bad. He managed to reach the Smythe's mansion without too much trouble. Sebastian's previous hint revealed itself to be helpful –Thank god that night Kurt followed his instinct, otherwise he would have gotten lost for ever.

He stopped the engine in front of the house and sighed, waiting to find the courage to get down and knock. –What was on his mind when he accepted his stupid proposal?! He didn't care a thing about Sebastian, he was just a little curious. A curious good samaritan that had to give a hand to anyone who requested his help. Even if that person was a despicable 'human' being and deserved nothing but slaps.

He didn't care about Sebastian, or the piercing way he looked at him, or the way his heart sunk every time the sapphire-green of his eyes met the ocean-blue of his, or the weird way he acted, or the mysteries hidden between the walls of that huge house in the middle of nothing. He didn't.

He overreacted when they were at Lima Bean and felt compelled to make up for that. But he didn't care about Sebastian's, Sebastian's, feelings.

His guilt trip had totally nailed him.

He spent the best majority of his time repeating himself that; as if the more he said it, the more he believed in it.

He sighed and slowly got off his car. He reached the front french doors feeling like a dead-men walking.

He wanted to bail on him ever since he was left by himself to think over what had happened, after Sebastian went away and even the image of the small smile he managed to get out of him faded away.

He wanted to bail on him. But he didn't even have his number to warn him. And since he considerd himself a decent human being, he didn't want to cause a scene because he was supposed to show up and he didn't, without warning 'his friend', at least to Willa's eyes. For the same reason he couldn't even text Willa. What would he write? 'hey, I am not coming. I am telling this to you because I don't have Sebastian's number. Oh yeah I know it is weird that we are friends and I don't have his number. But he is a dick so, you know…'. Probably not the best idea.

So he came anyway, knocked and waited for someone to open the door to let him in.

He didn't know then that those words would become the new leitmotiv of his summer.

A pale and clearly agitated Sebastian opened the door.

"Where were you?!"

"Hello to you too. And don't look at me like that, I'm not that late and it's not my fault you live in the middle of nowhere"

"I thought you bailed on me!"

"It's not my fault you are a dick either. But you forget I, on the contrary, am not."

Sebastian sighed.

"Are you letting me in or should I go back to my car and leave". Sebastian's eyes opened wide

"You wouldn't. Would you?", he asked, a note of exasperation in his voice.

Kurt looked him truce and sighed.

"We are not all pieces of shit. And I am talking in favor of all other human beings out there'. Kurt shoved him lightly with his shoulder and came in.

Once he stepped inside, once again he felt overwhelmed by the majesty of the place. That didn't last much since a bright voice distracted him.

"Kuurt!".

It belonged to Willa, who was approaching him with quick steps. She hugged him tightly.

"I'm so glad you're finally here! I threatened Sebastian to come and get you by myself, if he didn't make you came here!"

"I'm so glad to see you again!", she went on, without giving Kurt the time to say 'A'

"I know you are busy with that gown fitting thing you do, but come on! I haven't seen you in a month?!". Kurt looked her as if she was talking aramaic.

"Yeah I told her about your part-time job"

"My part-time job?"

"I have to say it sounded so weird to me when Seb first told me. I mean, who would want a boy to try on feminine gowns to see if they fit? But then he explained and, you know, I've seen people do weirder thing for less respectable scopes so". Kurt tried to hide his shock and his contempt.

"Poor lady, imagine being so insane to see him as the daughter she could never have. It's so sweet for you to let her believe you are her daughter and try out the clothes she sews for you! Honestly, I have no idea how could she possibly think that of you". Sebastian said calmly. Willa kept nodding. Kurt wanted to kill him.

"Yeah so kind of me to help her", he said stressing the last word. Sebastian chuckled.

"But", Willa interjected "you should tell the people of that retirement house you can't be available anytime she freaks out because she wants to see her 'daughter' and have her... sorry, you try the gowns she's made".

"I think they know quite well", he replied, looking meaningfully at Sebastian "Things are going to change soon".

"I am sure they will", Sebastian replied, clearly diverted by the whole situation.

"Oh but I am a terrible host, let's get out of here. Kurt, would you like a drink?", Willa asked

"Oh is Oliver going to prepare them? Someone told me he is the best at it". Kurt said joyfully but realized right away that he'd said something inappropriate since Willa's wide smile froze.

She looked hesitant at Sebastian.

"He not here, isn't he?", he said. It sounded like question, but it seemed more like a resigned seek for confirmation.

Willa grit her lips. The looked at each other briefly, but intensely. Willa shrugged apologetically and focused her attention back to Kurt.

"No unfortunately he is not here, you'll have to settle with me. Anyway", Willa said to Kurt, bringing his arm under hers –a gesture rich of confidence, as if they were two old friends who did this all the time– and leading him towards the private living room, the piano one.

"You have to give me your new number"

"My-"

"Sebastian refused to give it to me, you know? He said I would have bothered you, pff!", she said loudly, with an accused tone directed towards her brother

"You are a burden to anyone"

"I am not". Then she turned to Kurt: "He is an ass and says a lot of bullshit. But you probably already know that. Don't believe him. It's all lies". –Kurt was reminded of the day he met Willa and Oliver, who said something similar. He also remembered the cabinet, the picture-behind-the-picture, will you be gentle to him?, Sebastian's harshness when they spoke and his genuine smile before he recited the poem. And what about Oliver now? Why mentioning him had been a wrong choice of words? Why did they look that way?

There was an intricate puzzle around that family and he was determined to work it out. Once again his overthinking had overwhelmed him, so he put his speculations aside and shifted his attention to Willa again

"…have some magenta nail polish!", she was saying

"Pardon?", he asked politely

"I was trying to put Sebastian in your shoes! I mean, what if it was you who dropped the nail polish on your phone?!"

"First I am not clumsy, and on top of all I don't paint my nails. I mean it's not my fault this one here is so clumsy", Sebastian replied trying hard not to laugh. He was pointing at Kurt's direction. Kurt, who had no idea what they were talking about, limited himself to shift his head from Willa to Sebastian, who went on:

"Yeah, don't make that face, I am talking about you!"

"I am not clumsy"

"And how did that bottle of polish dropped on your phone, hmm? Let's listen", he mocked him. Kurt connected the dots and felt the urge to slap the hell out of him.

"If you didn't push me I wouldn't have dropped it".

"You pushed him!", Willa pinched him

"I didn't push him! I tried to knock some sense out of his brain! He was going to paint his toes magenta!

"What's wrong about magenta?", Kurt said instinctively

"You mean what's wrong about painting your nails?!", Sebastian commented in a teasing tone. He was sneering and Kurt was sure if he was then left alone with him, he would have hurt him badly.

Between the gym and the proteins his body was well shaped, he was not the fragile kid he once was.

Since they were friends, at least according to Willa, Kurt pushed aside the wish to punch him and knock some good manner in him and opted to throw him a deathly look instead.

At that point Sebastian burst out laughing.

The sound of his weird, but genuine laugh, diluted his resentment with some fondness. He had to admit the boy was imaginative, after all.

"I am going to make those drinks, wait me here", Willa exclaimed, leaving them alone.

Sebastian's laugh was now softer. Kurt thought he never saw him laugh – like genuinely laugh, not mockingly laugh. He was supposed to hate him. But he was funny when he laughed. Still an asshole, but funny.

"Why again have I consented to this", Kurt thought out loud.

"My irresistible charm?", Sebastian offered

"I am thinking more of my pity for charitable cases"

"You wish"

"It's just for one night, right", Kurt commented exasperated.

"Hopefully"

"Whaaaa?!"

A loud sound of glass breaking filled their ears, distracting them from their conversation.

"Willa?", Sebastian called

"Everything's fine!", she shouted back, coming in with three wine-flutes in one hand and a bottle of sparkling wine in the other.

"One of these", she lifted the hand with the glasses "slipped me and broke. They're from mom's favorite set. Ups"

"She won't even notice one is missing", Sebastian told her, taking from her the three glasses and the wine. Willa gestured Kurt to sit on the sofa with her, while Sebastian opened the bottle.

"So, your new number?", she asked again, reaching out to grab her phone from a coffee table at her left.

"Oh! Ehm…", he started doubtful. "It's… it's always the same actually". Willa gave him a confused look, before moving her head toward Sebastian:

"Why did you tell me he changed his phone number?", she accused him.

"I.. I got it the other day, actually. First I had a new one because my old SIM Card was too damaged, but I needed it back and I had to threaten the AT&T guys 'till they made it possible!", Kurt made up quickly to help Sebastian. He gave him a quick, thankful look before handing them two glasses of wine.

He then poured some wine in his and sat on an armchair in front of them.

"That's good news!", Willa exclaimed

"Yeah, I have finally my whole phone book back, I feared I had lost all the numbers"

"One more reason to celebrate today", Willa rose her flute "But for now we drink to Seb, congratulation boo". Sebastian smiled and, to Kurt's own surprise, blushed a little as he rose his flute to toast. Kurt wasn't understanding anything. He imitated the two of them nevertheless. They all drank a sip and, after a few moments, Willa broke the silence:

"So Kurt, Seb told me you go to NYADA! Tell me about it! I want to hear it all!"

Since Kurt knew Willa's fondness for the big apple, he shared with her some of the Broadway adventures he had with Rachel, his self-centred best friend and now Broadway star. Willa listened to him carefully, and as he was describing the places he preferred of the city, she often closed her eyes, as if she could be in NY just picturing in her mind the scenes Kurt described.

Sebastian, on the other hand, seemed detached and unimpressed, but didn't say a word.

"And so I ended up performing peter pan in this retirement house!", he finished. With the corner of his eye he noted Sebastian opened his mouth to say something –he had restrained to give his sarcastic comments for far too long, Kurt observed. However, his comeback was nipped in the bud:

"Dinner's ready", a short, vietnamite lady in her early forties announced.

"Thanks Mathilde, we're coming"

"Why did you called the help? There was no need to!"

"Oh shut up! It's just for today!", Willa retorted and then explained to Kurt: "This one here doesn't like having people around. Staff people I mean. No wait, people in general", she teased him.

"There was no need call Mathilde and ask Joe to cook us dinner, we could have ordered in!"

"Shut up", Willa silenced him, taking a seat. Kurt sat next to her, after taking a second or two to admire the beautiful dining room, where the evening light was filtered by a wall of full-sized windows, facing the lake.

"It's just the three of us", Sebastian told Mathilde sharply as he stepped into the dining room. Willa gave her an apologetically look as she apologized and took the silverware and the extra seat away.

"I didn't even make the great table set! Eating in here is the least I could concede you!"

"You have- Never mind", Kurt didn't finish his sentence, silenced by the greatness of their wealth.

As dinner was served things went smoothly; Sebastian acted weirdly and didn't talk too much, while Willa filled every silence with her shrill voice. She described Kurt her life at law school and shared with him some funny stories that happened to her crazy-as-hell, control-maniac, study-centered roommate, Paris.

Before serving dessert, Mathilde came in with a bottle of sparkling wine and filled their glasses.

Willa rose hers: "To Sebastian". Kurt did the same and Sebastian blushed –this time more lividly.

Kurt still wasn't understanding a thing. –If tonight was an important event Sebastian would have mentioned it the other day, wouldn't he? Was it possible that he told him nothing to make him feel confused and out of place?

Yeah, it was.

"We now have a paramedic in the family!", Kurt, who was sipping his wine, coughed: "What?", the words had slipped out of his mouth.

Willa gave him an appalled look and Sebastian kicked him under the table.

"He didn't tell you?"

"Of course I told him!"

"You are incorrigible!"

"You are making a fuss out of it! To me it's not big deal!"

"And what is to you, let's hear it! You could at least appreciate the effort I put in for you!", she accused him.

"Come on it's not like that… you know I do", Sebastian said softly. Willa crossed her arms and snapped her tongue

"Helma", he called, and this nickname pulled a little smile out of her face.

"Hey, I am sorry I got confused, but I thought your final exam wasn't due 'till next month!", Kurt interjected on the spot. "Why didn't you tell me you had it the other day? I could have sent you a good luck text" –saved by the skin of his teeth, he thought. He agreed to be his fake friend for the night, he couldn't let their cover be screwed up.

"Yeah I", Sebastian started, scratching the hair of his scruff "I didn't think I'd pass it so… I din't tell you and then I did and I thought I'd surprise you tonight"

"Aw, that's so sweet of you, Seb! But How could you think you wouldn't pass it!", Willa's tone changed drastically, forgetting why she sulked over him in the first place.

"You never know", he said in a low voice

"Shut up"

"I wanted to tell you today but there never was a good moment so… surprise"

"I am so proud of you", Willa intervened

"We are", Kurt said. He had to. To Willa's eyes they were friends.

"Thanks", he said, blushing lightly again and rubbing his hair. Kurt thought when he would have stopped surprising him.

Surely not that night.

"So you start tomorrow?"

"Well, I'm a volunteer, they call me when they'll need me"

"Okay, anyway I can't go tomorrow to the child reading"

"Child reading?", Kurt intervened. He was eager to know what they were talking about. Being with the Smythe's most of the times meant watching their lives go by from the outside.

"Haven't you ever heard of child reading? It's a project run by volunteers that is meant bring help to the children who are hospitalized. The one organized at the Wyandot Hospital aims at keeping company to the kids hospitalized in the oncology ward by reading to them, or just hanging out", Willa explained.

"Oh! Right! Sorry, I didn't connect! I've always always wanted to do something like that"

"Well, you can", Willa told him matter-of-factly "Sebastian can take you".

"He can take my place", she said towards a clearly uncomfortable Sebastian. Kurt was as uncomfortable as Sebastian. What was he supposed to say?

Also, he couldn't picture Sebastian doing something like that, he was probably lying on how he spent his free time. But Willa said 'you can take my place'. –That cannot be real, can it?, Kurt wondered. In the meantime Sebastian was handling the whole situation

"Yeah, sure… why not?". His tone wasn't that convincing, though

"Yeah, why not?", Willa questioned, sensing his hesitancy, hiding the real question between the lines.

"It'd be great to come with you, I should have asked you sooner, actually!", Kurt intervened to save Sebastian from some inconvenient questions. Again. That asshole owned him that much.

"So it's set! Do you want to sleep here so you don't have to go all the way back to Lima?", Willa asked politely

"Oh no no", He rushed "I'm fine driving. Thanks for the offer, though"

"The Hospital is actually closer to Lima than Westerville", Sebastian commented.

"Which one again?"

"Wyandot. I'll meet you at the front desk at 9"

"p.m.?", Kurt asked doubtfully.

"a.m."

"Oh, okay... I should finish the dessert and get going then"

"The offer is stil on the table, Kurt", Willa said

"It's okay Willa, thanks. And thanks for the dinner it was fantastic"

"You should thank Joe, not her". Sebastian remarked and Willa sighed:

"Will you ever get over this?"

"Probably not".

As said, Kurt finished the dessert (some italian tiramisu which Kurt tasted for the first time and loved it so much he asked Willa to ask Joe the recipe) and said his good-byes to Willa.

His 'friend' Sebastian escorted him to the hall. As they reached the door, he stopped in front of Kurt and gave him one of his long, piercing looks; one of those that made his entire body quiver and his lungs struggle for air. He didn't know why that happened to him, maybe because of the intensity of his emerald gaze, maybe because he was good at alluring people.

Maybe because Kurt should see a really good shrink.

"So, see you tomorrow", he announced

"I think the time has come for us to exchange our phone numbers", Kurt said in a low voice

"Are you asking me out?", Sebastian sneered. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I already have yours". His so-called friend admitted in a whisper. Kurt looked at him questioningly "Willa?", Sebastian offered. Kurt nodded.

"I still need yours", he whispered, spotting Willa near the grand staircase.

"I'll send you a message later".

"So, should we hug us good-night or something to prove our friendship?"

"She's spying on us, isn't she?"

"Totally", Kurt said waving at Willa, who quickly tried to hide her head behind a large column.

"God, she's such a school girl some times!"

"Do you think she suspects something?", Kurt whispered

"I don't know. But your stupid unasked questions surely didn't help to keep the game!", he muttered sharply

"Hey! Don't take it on me! Why didn't you tell me we were celebrating your exam?! What was I supposed to do?"

"Keep your mouth shut!", he muttered gritting his teeth

"I saved your sorry ass tonight, so you should shut up and thank me". Kurt replied angrily.

Their angry whispers where giving him a headache.

"And what about the story of me wearing women's clothes and painting my nails?!", he gave him a little push on his chest and looked him surly.

"I had to make up something to avoid Willa texting you and asking questions about why you were not here often", he justified himself cockily.

"You're an ass"

"A rather charming one"

"And after tonight here I thought you may hide a decent human being inside"

Sebastian smiled to that.

"Good bye Kurt", he said opening the door but standing in the way. As Kurt passed by, he whispered to his ear:

"I can make something up, you don't have to come tomorrow if you don't want to".

"I do... even if I don't". Kurt told him sincerely, in a barely audiblewhisper. Sebastian quickly smiled, then nodded and stepped away from the door.

They exchanged one last, meaning full look and then Kurt left.

Several hours later, when Kurt lay awake in his bed, thinking of everything that happened at the Smythe's, everything he found out about Sebastian, the screen of his i-Phone lighted.

555 911 911

Thank you

Title of Chapter: I do But I don't, Tom McGraw.

To take a look at my idea of the living room, take a look at this chapter w/ links, in my tumblr account brambleandmoors dot tumblr dot com (If you haven't seen the links to images in the prevues chapters, –especially Sympathy for the devil A– scroll the page and look for the updates of this ff)

I totally made up the number so that it wouldn't exist.

I imagined Willa's roommate to be Paris Gellar from Gilmore Girls ;) –If you haven't seen the tv show, you totally should!

Also, again I am using my artistic license for the paramedic stuff, hope you don't mind ;)

For the record, the child reading is a real thing, even if not actually at Wyandot Hospital. Go check on the internet if you are interested!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support, I am writing this for you, not for me :)

Stay Tuned,

BlueJeanzAngel