Clary didn't let Jace finish fishing through his doubts. She leaned in and kissed him, hard and sure, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing him down to her. Jace, a little caught off guard, crashed into her, his chest against hers, his breath on her cheek. Clary tried to put every ounce of the desire she felt into that kiss. He said he wanted it to… she wasn't going to be shy, then.

Jace chuckled against her mouth, surprised by her sudden zeal. Clary snaked her legs around his hips and Jace drew a quick breath, breaking the kiss as she pressed herself against him. She quickly pulled him back down against her lips, sliding her hands under his shirt and feeling the hard muscle there. Jace shivered as she ran her fingers up further, touching the hard lines of his chest and upper abdomen. Jace let a shaky breath go, hanging his head and closing his eyes to feeling. Clary wasted no time in pulling his shirt up, and Jace shifted so she could tug it over his shoulders.

It certainly wasn't the same as last time. She felt different. He felt different. She remembered him as cool, collected, arrogant, and confident in this situation. The Jace in front of her was hardly cool- at first he seemed more affected by her then she was by him. He couldn't undo his jeans, so Clary had to help him. But then he started to touch her, really touch her, and Clary was the one who lost control.

"Slow down, Clary." Jace stopped her as she reached for his underwear. Clary swallowed hard and nodded, confused. Jace pulled her arms above her head and trailed his hands down the sensitive underside. Clary felt his touch in her stomach, a squirming sensation of wonderful, pleasant butterflies. He continued touching down her sides, all the while drawing at her nipple with his mouth, kissing her chest and breast. He appreciated every aspect of her breasts, squeezing lightly, biting and licking and kissing until Clary was dizzy with a hot fever of longing, the room upended and spinning. Clary wanted to return the favor.

Timidly, she reached between them, brushing the top of his boxers and feeling his hardness through the fabric. Jace's eyes clouded over and he shifted so she had a better angle. Clary took a deep breath, nerves flooding her, and slipped her hand under the waistband.

It was warm and hard and smooth, unlike anything Clary had felt before. She wasn't sure if she was doing it right, but Jace seemed to enjoy the mere fact that she was touching him. He closed his eyes and nodded for her to continue. Clary wrapped her hand around him and tried moving up and down. Jace winced.

"Sorry!" Clary whispered.

"Like this." He put his hand around hers and realigned her grip. Jace moved her hand, his fingers over hers, and shuddered.

"That's it."

His hand fell away and Clary continued, trying to do exactly as he had showed her, lost in the expression on his face. His breathing deepened and his lips parted. Then he opened his eyes and looked into hers, and she couldn't stand the distance between them any longer and neither could he.

They crashed into each other. He rolled over onto her, nestling his hips between her legs, and Clary wrapped her legs around him, pushing him into her sex, wanting more than anything to remove any tiny space between them.

Jace pushed her underwear down suddenly, gripping her ass and kneading it.

Clary couldn't help her sounds, but Jace responded hungrily to them. Urged on by her moans, he shifted her thigh higher up on his hips and stroked his finger along her slit. Then, accompanying a particularly feverish kiss, he slid his finger inside her.

"Aaaah!" She cried out in surprise. Jace leaned back, watching her intently. Clary tightened her legs, her first instinct to pull away from the alien sensation, but Jace's hips kept her legs spread wide. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't something Clary had an adjective to describe.

"Relax." He kissed her again, brushing hair away from her forehead with his other hand.

"It feels… strange." Clary whispered. Jace smiled, a brief but brilliant flash of sunlight.

"Bad strange?" He was slowly pumping his finger in and out. Clary could barely respond.

"Good, I think."

"How does this feel?" She felt his thumb on her, a different part of her, and a tremor of distinct pleasure flooded through her. Clary moaned again and the corners of Jace's lips turned up in a confident grin.

"You're wet, baby." He pressed a kiss to her neck. "Are you ready?"

Her stomach twisted and Clary felt nauseous with the sudden fear, but she tried not to show it. She nodded, her throat too tight to speak.

"Do you want it a certain way? A certain position?"

"I don't know any positions." Clary shook her head. He was still moving his finger and in out of her. It was starting to feel better. "But this is good."

Jace pushed his underwear down, kicking it off once he had passed the point he could reach, unwilling to move too far from her body. He reached beside her to his bedside table and rifled around in the drawer, withdrawing a condom after a few seconds. Clary's heart pounded in her ear as he showed her how to put it on. She felt the need to look away as he did, a leftover polite reflex to seeing male genitalia.

"Make sure you pinch the top." He instructed her, his hands over hers as she smoothed the latex down.

"Ok." Clary nodded as though she were listening closely, but her brain was a feverish jumble of panic and anxiety and excitement.

Then he kissed her deeply, laying her back down against the bed, and reached between them. She felt him position himself against her. She closed her eyes.

He didn't give her any warning. She felt him at her entrance, and she was just about to ask something, some nervous nonsense question, when he pushed in, hard and fast.

Clary yelled, tears springing to her eyes. It was agony. Pain throbbed inside her; she tried to push him off of her, it was so intense. She was immediately angry at him for surprising her, and she was about to yell at him when Jace started peppering her cheek with kisses and smoothing her hair away from her face. Clary's anger died, replaced with a warm feeling of love. She went limp.

Tears ran down her face from the still throbbing pain, and Jace wiped them away and kissed their trails. Jace didn't move other than caressing and kissing her, giving her time to adjust to the initial pain. The undercurrent of pain and the comfort of Jace's caresses mixed into a bittersweet emotion that calmed Clary and gave her strength to continue.

Then, when the pain had died down to a dull throb, Jace pulled out of her. The moment he started to move again, the pain spiked. Clary clenched her teeth and tried to hold back her groan. Jace held her tightly, whispering encouragement in her ear and kissing her cheek tenderly. He didn't stop this time. When he had nearly pulled all the way out of her, he pushed back in, the start of a slow, steady pace. Clary bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut, clutching Jace's strong back and shoulders, waiting for the pain to subside. It did, but slowly.

Jace didn't say anything, but she could feel his eyes on her and his concern as he pulled her ever closer and soothed her.

"Better?" He asked as she felt her expression start to relax.

"Yes, keep going." Clary sighed, hugging him tightly and trying to ignore the stinging between her legs. She was starting to feel past the pain to the pressure of him inside of her, the heat of him. She liked that part.

Warmth grew between her legs, tingling warmth that spread farther up her body with every stroke. It was connected like a wave to the friction between their bodies, lapping at her stomach with his entrance and receding at his departure.

Clary wrapped her arms around him tighter, pressed her face to his shoulder, and rode out the waves. Jace turned his head and started to kiss her lips, passionate, intense kisses that coincided with his steady strokes. He ran his hand along her thigh, hiking her leg up further, spreading her to him more. Clary pressed up, trying to meet his thrusts with her own. Jace smiled and picked up his pace. Clary realized how rigid and stiff she had been as the pain sank through her and how relieved Jace looked to see her pliant.

Clary moaned as a particularly intense tremor of pleasure passed through her.

"Jace-"

"Hmmm?" Jace grunted as he grabbed her ass and pulled her tight against him. Clary's head fell back and a moan escaped her. The way he handled her was the perfect combination of firm and gentle.

"It feels good now." She sighed.

"I see that." He pressed her into the bed with a kiss. He paused, leaning down to touch and kiss her breast, squeezing her ass with one hand. Clary panted hard in the sudden stillness, focused on the unfamiliar feel of him inside her. She felt like Jace had set a fire in her stomach; a hot, intense fire of desire and comfort.

"Do you want to try something different?" He asked, his tawny eyes hooded and unfocused. The love and concern there brought a stupid grin to her face.

"Ok."

Jace withdrew from her, and Clary mourned the loss of him. She felt empty. He rolled onto his back and gestured for her to follow.

Clary sat up, uncertain, and took in his new position. Jace grinned and crossed his arms behind his head, waiting.

Clary realized what he wanted her to do, and though she felt a bit exposed, she sat over him and straddled his hips without hesitation. Jace's teasing expression changed to unconcealed desire as she slipped him inside, her eyelids fluttering closed at the full feeling. She rested her hands against his chest and pushed up.

Jace curled his hands around her hips, guiding her. Clary rocked her hips for him, closing her eyes and focusing on the heat building between her legs. She rubbed her clit against him on the down stroke, and the tingling built with each push off. She had control in this position, and she could do what felt good to her. The tingling built up faster until she was shuddering with the intensity of it.

"There you go, Clary. That's it." Jace sat up, grabbing her thighs and pulling her body close as he continued her rhythm with his own thrusts. Clary wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder as he fucked her, lost in the incredible feelings.

Then Jace laid her down against the bed, her head at the foot of it, and kissed down her neck, across her chest, down to her stomach.

"What- what are you doing?" Clary asked, butterflies back in her stomach.

"Mmmmh, you'll like it." Jace promised, winking at her before kissing her hip bone and releasing a shiver and a moan in her. Clary sat up.

"Wait." She insisted, her voice shaking.

Jace sat up too, leaning in to slay her with a sweet kiss. Clary moaned, helpless to him.

"Lie down, baby." He said softly, his golden eyes persuading her.

Clary bit her lip, but she did as he said. She was possibly more nervous than she had been when they started, but the tingling sensation had turned into a persistent tremor that urged her to do whatever she could to push it over the brink, so she couldn't bring herself to deny his assistance.

It was almost as big of a shock as when he slipped his finger inside. His tongue was wet and strong, and it left no part of her untouched.

The tremors grew and grew as Jace worked a finger into her. He licked over her clit and along her folds until Clary was screaming, crying out as she fell over the brink. It was then that Jace entered her again, pumping into her with each rolling wave of pleasure and filling her completely. He kissed her, and she tasted herself on him, and she didn't care, couldn't think of anything but Jace as they spiraled up into bliss and Jace cried out into her mouth with his own orgasm. He shuddered and collapsed against her, and they were a sweaty, hot mess of intertwined bodies.

After a few moments he lifted himself up weakly, a small smile on his face.

"I love you." Jace whispered, pushing her hair away from her sweaty forehead.

"I love you too." She replied, drawing him down to kiss her.

Jace rested above her for a few more moments, and Clary thought she might fall asleep to the rhythm of his breathing. Then he rolled off of her and reached down to pull the condom off.

"Oh my god." Clary muttered as she saw the bloody mess on the condom.

"I'm going to have to get new sheets." Jace laughed as he tied the end and dropped it in a wastebasket by his bedside table, inspecting the blood stains beneath them. Clary rolled off of the stains, bewildered. She knew she would bleed, but she had no idea she would bleed this much.

"I'm sorry I ruined your sheets."

"I'm not." He whispered, touching her cheek. He kissed her before moving to stand up.

"Where are you going?"

Jace lifted his hand and two fingers were covered in blood stains.

"I told you you'd like it."

Clary blushed. She lay back down and stared at the ceiling as the sound of running water drifted from the bathroom. Then Jace returned to her, pulling the covers up over both of them as he slid in next to her.

"I'm glad I won't have to hurt you anymore." Jace sighed.

"Even so, that was pretty amazing… hey, you lied to me! You made me think it would be horrible!" Clary grinned, turning on her side and pressing her naked body against his. He rested an arm over her waist and propped his head up with his other hand.

"Always under promise and over deliver." Jace preached, his gold eyes sparkling. "The first few minutes were pretty horrible for you, though. I could tell." He looked more serious.

"I'm sorry."

"I'll never understand why Mundanes apologize for things that aren't their fault." Jace frowned.

"It's just... I know it wasn't very good at first." Clary knew she had no control over it, but she still felt guilty.

"Clary, that was the best I've ever had."

Clary couldn't help the giant smile that erupted on her face.

"Really?"

"I've never had sex with someone I cared about." Jace said quietly.

"That was the best I've ever had too." She giggled. Jace rolled his eyes and pulled her into his chest, their bodies pressed tightly together from shoulder to foot.

"Best so far. From now on, it's going to be all the time. 24/7. Wherever, whenever. On the top of a mountain, on the bathroom sink, the kitchen table- everywhere. All the time."

"You better be kidding." Clary laughed and tried to pull away. Jace held her tighter.

"I love you, Clary. I love you." He whispered in her ear. Clary's face warmed and she stopped fighting. She relaxed into his arms, blissfully happy, until sleep overtook her.

Wow, that took me forever to write. I don't know why it was so hard, I've been in a porn writing mood for such a long time. I think it's because I had to put my mind back to my first time, and I was so nervous I barely remember anything specific. I remember being nervous, afraid, sick to my stomach... and then at the end, very happy. So basically everything I wrote was loosely autobiographical (lol TMI, Reilly (geeeett iiiiitt?)). Alot of my stories are autobiographical because I like to write really visceral imagery and I can't do that well without experience in the situation. I got nine 'yes' and only one 'no' when I asked if readers thought Clace was ready for the next step, so... one thing everyone agreed with, which I agree with, is that the romance has to stay strong afterwards, so I'll keep that in mind as a priority. Thanks for reading, and please review!